The most miserable host of Kuai Chuan is none other than me

Lu Weiyang really didn't think of Jiang Ge as the mastermind behind this matter, the person he suspects now is his idiot cousin, he must crush his head when he goes out!

The scene on the screen then changed.

"Are you asking for money to smoke opium?" Lu Weiyang almost choked on the man's words, and coughed twice while suppressing his voice.

I thought to myself, this guy is not stupid, people who smoke opium have yellow teeth.There are also big smokers who are skinny and skinny, and their little bandits are round and full of flesh.Those piercing teeth are so white that they look like a healthy child.

"No." Feng Yanqiu's eyes were distracted, and he answered quickly.

There is no guilty conscience in the tone, He Zhi is good at insight into people's hearts.The little bandit is so simple-minded, he can see through it in a few moments.

"No, then what do you use this silver tael for?" He Zhi persisted in this question, Lu Weiyang anxiously grabbed the cushions on the sofa.

Hold on to the progress bar!

"Forget it, who am I to you, I can't control you anyway." He Zhi let go of his hands and narrowed his eyes slightly, and black silver wings grew out in the dark night.

There is indeed a very large statue in the Peach Blossom Temple, which is not like Maitreya.

The statue held a bow and arrow high in both arms, and rusty concentric locks hung on its waist and hips.Like a sculpture placed in an art gallery, the brows are lifelike.It is one meter high and placed against the corner of the wall.

There is a small square table in front of the statue, and the tributes on it are messy, the smell of corruption makes people sick, and the temple that no one cares about will be covered with dust.

"Come here." The man called him.

He Zhi stroked the wide sleeves to clean off the dust on them.Throw those rotten fruits on the ground, scaring the rats in the dark corners, screaming and running around.

"What are you doing?" The little bandit bent his waist and held up the two fairly long red candles.

He fiddled with it somehow, and the candle quickly lit up.There was little light, but enough to give them a clear view of the cabin.

"Not bad." He Zhi nodded and picked up a candle.Pushed the statue forward with one hand, and then went around behind the statue.

The system competently gave the camera a special feature, Lu Weiyang covered his eyes, opened the gap between his five fingers, and looked at the screen from between his fingers.It's as exciting as watching a horror movie at home alone.

On the back of the statue was engraved with ancient script in regular script. It's a pity that Lu Weiyang didn't recognize it. He took out the small book given by the hermit expert in his arms, and turned to the last page.

Sure enough, I saw the comment: the word behind the statue means that the blood of the two people was dripped into the eyes of the Peach Blossom God and seeing the God of Cupid, it means that the two are destined for three lives.

On the contrary, don't force each other, wish each other early and then be with your beloved.Otherwise, the lives of the two will be shortened, which will bring misfortune to the official career.

"That's bullshit." Lu Weiyang had seen too many such pretentious things, and leaned on the pillow in disbelief.Show a little peripheral vision, and then look.

This rubbish script, setting, and bloody level are carefully tasted, and it is known that it was written by Su Zhiye, who only scored 3 points in liberal arts.

And he was in a financial crisis before he died, even if those uncles knew that his ex-boyfriend was Jiang Ge, they would not spend a lot of time building this system for him.

My own company has already crossed the river with a mud woman, so I don't have the heart to torment him.He couldn't think of anyone else except the bold Su Zhiye who was already a senior high school student.

"What are you looking at, I won't try to test the heart stone with your blood." Feng Yanqiu held his fingers, looked at the man with deep eyes, and backed away again and again.

After a while, I will take him down the mountain to see thousands of lights. The man is not very fierce, his expression paused, and he joked: "Could it be that you have a deep affection for me, little bandit, and you are too coy to show it?"

"You nonsense! You pedant!" People with fleshy faces are not suitable for opening their mouths to speak, otherwise the flesh on their cheeks will tremble.

Want to bite, want to.

The man's hungry eyes were like a person walking in the desert suddenly seeing a clear spring in his mouth, his throat was rolling dryly, and a certain unspeakable part showed signs of raising his head.

He is not a lecherous person, but seeing the little bandit crying, laughing, angry, and in a daze...he wanted to rush up and tear his clothes off.

"Come here and let's see the Heart-Testing Stone. If you don't see the God of Cupid today, I will let you go, and you don't have to return the dowry. I will go back down the mountain by myself, and I will never go to your Black Wind Stronghold again!"

Hearing his promise, the little bandit nodded overjoyed and said yes.He took out the small machete on his body, closed his eyes and gently scraped on his fingers.

Bending down to drip his own blood into the empty eyeballs of the idol.He Zhi pursed his lips, looking at the little bandit's round buttocks and slender waist.

His blood almost burst out, and he stabbed his arm hard with the long sword, the pain extinguished his desire.The little bandit opened his mouth in astonishment when he saw how he took the blood, "Actually, you can swipe on your finger, there's no need..."

"It's okay, I'm too hot. A little blood will cool you down." He Zhi pulled out the sword, and the blood flowed out from the red blade.

The entire stone face of the statue was flushed red, and the two looked at each other, kneeling together as if worshiping a high hall.He bowed three times to the stone statue.

The little bandit couldn't read, but when he was a child, he hid behind the statue and saw that this was what other people did.After a while, a lotus-shaped thing will bloom in front of the stone statue.

One second, two seconds...

After a long time, the little bandit stood up straight, touched his numb knee and said, "Now do you believe it? You and I have no chance."

"It's impossible. Who said it's impossible? This broken stone statue doesn't work at all. You have to be responsible to me, little bandit. We've already cooked rice!" The man growled like a mad dog, and came up to tear the little bandit's clothes .

Lu Weiyang chewed potato chips, and commented: "This man is really a fucking madman, is he going to be 18 banned next?"

[No, things will be reversed when they are extreme, love will not overflow if it is too full. 】The sweet and cute girl's voice sounded somewhere in the room.

Lu Weiyang spat the potato chips in his mouth into the trash can and said: "Oh my god, can you stop this voice-changing period just for us? It makes me get goosebumps."

【system:……】

The system is speechless, but the system dare not speak.

"Help! I beg you, why don't you know if you don't want to be like this? I was wrong." Feng Yanqiu was at a loss, and was pushed against the wall suddenly, his internal organs were about to be shattered.

Pushing away the crushed kisses that fell on her face, she tremblingly raised her red eyes from crying, and hid behind the statue with a swipe of smoke.

Suddenly, there was a thrilling white light in the room.

The lotus-shaped sitting meditation in front of the statue slowly opens its petals and opens translucently.The whistling electric current sounded, and Feng Yanqiu rolled out of the corner.Kneeling naked on the ground.

The gods appeared and came to rescue him.

The golden boy and jade girl sat in the lotus, curiously looking at the messy picture in front of them, and the girl holding the dust whisk said: "You summoned us? Shi Liang, you are sincere, and the golden boy and jade girl can help you Make a wish come true."

"What wishes do you have?" Jin Tong also echoed.Watching the two people who didn't speak, they waited quietly with their fly whisks.

The bandit who was still immersed in the doubts that the heart-testing stone was brightened said abruptly: "Immortals, you have misunderstood, we don't really like it."

"I hope Feng Yanqiu will be my wife. From then on, I will be the only one in my eyes. Where I am, he can't look away and can only look at me." He Zhi, who is tall and proud, also knelt down straight.

He likes this little bandit so much, he treats him like this, and hopes that the little bandit treats him the same way.

The golden boy and the jade girl looked at each other, looked at He Zhi, who had a beautiful face, and then turned to look at the little bandit with dirty dust hanging on the tip of his nose, decisively fulfilling He Zhi's wish.

They are the newly-appointed Peach Blossom Gods, replacing the God of Cupid.This is their first performance and there can be no mistakes.

With a swipe of the white whisk, the two little fairies disappeared in place again. The temple was still in ruins, and the candles were about to burn out.

"Woooooo." Feng Yanqiu sat slumped on the ground, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes.Before wiping it clean, more flowed out of her delicate eye sockets.

He really couldn't believe that the blood of the two of them could brighten the heart-testing stone.

"Madam, it's God's will. My wealth is worthy of you." He Zhi felt relieved, and helped the little bandit with dull eyes.

It's okay, it's just a matter of time.

They will definitely be together.

The drunken bandits at the foot of the mountain staggered and stood in front of the tree, stood on tiptoe, and lit the thread.

In an instant, the red lanterns all over the mountain lit up one after another.The red light is particularly warm and eye-catching on this dark mountain.

At the foot of the mountain, the Lantern Festival.

The streets are full of people, and hundreds of lights are on.Miss Shuya, who was disguised as a woman and had her beard crooked, found a passer-by and asked, "Brother, why is the Geda Mountain occupied by Heifengzhai so bright? Is there a fire?"

That dear friend, like other people watching, praised: "No, no, you don't know. This is the meeting of our Mr. He getting married. Do you see that someone like Mr. He is rare in a thousand years?"

"That's what he meant when he did this." Lu Weiyang looked at the beautiful picture.I sighed in my heart, I don't know how to know this is too good.

If he is a philandering radish, it would be a pity for his bookish face.

"Wow. What's going on here?"

Depending on the height, the scenery you can see is also different. Those people can only stand at the bottom of the mountain to watch, and they can't feel the shock of being on the scene.

The little bandit who had never seen the world was naturally shocked by this scene, and his eyes were shining brightly, which was reflected by the red light.

During the Lantern Festival, the little bandits in Heifengzhai who were afraid of the dark finally found their way home.

"I did this. You don't have to be afraid of slippery roads in the dark. Wherever you want to go, no matter day or night, I will hold a torch for you."

The greasy words made Feng Yanqiu's cheeks blush, and he hurried back to the village.Jumping into the cellar with a whoosh, the resplendent and resplendent decorations dazzled his eyes.

Peanuts and longan were thrown on the red quilt, and the wine and vegetables on the ground were cleared out, and there would be no more falling soil around the jade-green floor.Because all the silver diamonds were affixed, the top of the head was hollowed out and turned into a skylight.There is also a night pearl set in wood, and his little black hole becomes luxurious.

Feng Yanqiu was dazzled, and sat down on the soft bed with limp legs.The beloved rag doll was also washed clean, and her cheeks were still flushed.

"My lady, I have to take the stairs next time." The man who descended from the sky quietly sat beside Feng Yanqiu and reminded him in a low voice.

"Stairs? Where are the stairs?" Feng Yanqiu sat on the soft bed and couldn't get up. He stretched his neck and looked at him and asked.

He Zhi can be regarded as a wife-loving madman. He installed the stairs less than three meters away from the inner bed, and he could see the revolving wooden ladder when he opened the screen.

"Wow!" This was the second exclamation from the little bandit this evening.

At 2x speed, the screen turns to the action of the two going to bed and pulling the red curtain, and the dialogue in it flashes by.The progress bar ended everywhere, Lu Weiyang pursed his lips, still confused.

"This picture, oh, isn't this episode about his father's clues?"

I can't understand it, this is clearly just to say how sweet the love between the two is.The system is also a real dog, leaving him in this space-time tunnel just to feed him dog food?

[Of course not, the host is just a part. Please pick up the * in your hand, click play, and watch the next paragraph. 】

Lu Weiyang twitched the corners of his mouth, wasting his precious time, and shouted directly without touching his hands: "Play the next episode."

This period of time is very short, and he is still in the cottage.

What came into view was an unfamiliar face, Lu Weiyang had never seen this face before when he was here.He spread out the portrait in his hand and said to Feng Yanqiu who was in the middle of the day: "I want to know what happened on the day my concubine mother disappeared."

"Ah——" Feng Yanqiu dragged his voice, still ignorant and ignorant like a young man, staring up and down with clear eyes, unable to say a word.

He Zhi, who was protecting his wife at the dinner table, put down the bowl and chopsticks, and said decisively: "The disappearance of Princess Jin'an has nothing to do with us. We were holding a wedding ceremony that day."

"Prince, if you have nothing else to do, please go back. Our Heifengzhai has made friends with the Holy Majesty, but it's not like you come and leave as you say!" .

Lu Weiyang looked at the disturbing plot, with a stick in his throat and a glow in his back, and asked: "It's not that I left, they have no memory."

【no. 】

"How is Feng Yanqiu doing today?" Miss Shuya stalked and sat on the busy street.

The entourage at the side replied: "The young master and Mr. Feng are more in love with Jin Jian, and he has learned some characters. I can write letters to the master by myself."

"That's good."

Lu Weiyang: "..."

The little bandit was originally the only young master of the Su family, and Su Cheng was a close friend of the old emperor, and the throne was passed on to Jiang Ge.

He was framed by the queen mother, and when he was in prison, he changed the name of his only son and threw him on the Black Wind Village.Fortunately, the third head of the family took him in to avoid the disaster of killing him.

"Understood, he is the Cinderella in trouble." Lu Weiyang nodded frequently, feeling sore in his heart that he didn't watch his son grow up, and he was quite regretful.

[Does the host have any questions? 】

[If not, we will enter the next world. 】