Accumulate feathers sink the boat

How could Gong Yu be unwilling, let alone a few words, as long as Lu Xiangzhou thinks, he can talk from now until he dies.

"Okay, how about some more water? Or are you hungry now? If you are hungry, I will get you some porridge. Don't you like the millet porridge in our cafeteria? It happens to be available now."

"No, I'm not hungry, give me another glass of water."

"Hey, right away!"

Lu Xiangzhou watched as Gong Yu dashed towards the head of the bed, took the disposable cup he had just used and began to pour water. The cup was not big and could be filled quickly, but it took Gong Yu more than ten seconds, because he His hands were shaking all the time.

Even though he has never been loved before, Lu Xiangzhou really knows Gong Yu very well.

He has too much sense of responsibility that cannot be dispelled, as long as he believes that it is his own responsibility, he will definitely do his best to be responsible to the end, and if something goes wrong, he will feel as scared and guilty as he is now.If one had to rate this level of guilt, it would definitely be very close to one hundred.

is very close, not equal.

"You know, in fact, I didn't really want to get rid of the child. There were countless times in the middle, really countless times. I hope you can give me a hand."

The warm water slowly slid into the stomach along Lu Xiangzhou's throat, forming a stark contrast to the icy atmosphere at this time.Gong Yu's hand that wanted to take back the water glass was frozen in the air by this sentence. He had never experienced such a scene, and all the coping experience in his life would be useless at this moment.

"But you didn't," Lu Xiangzhou chuckled lightly, and leaned back on the bed, holding the empty water glass in his hand like this, without any intention of handing it to Gong Yu, "Not only did you not, you even pushed me a few times, I couldn’t figure it out at the time, but looking back now, you are actually helping me, right? Also, how can I raise a child by myself? I don’t have enough ability and patience. If I don’t raise it well, wouldn’t you bother me more? "

"I--"

"But I'm really jealous." Not wanting to give Gong Yu a chance to talk, Lu Xiangzhou half-closed his eyes and continued on his own, "You say I'm different from other people, but pregnant women can't be different, right? They're all pregnant. Why can he sit in an office with heating and listen to your analysis of your illness bit by bit, while I have to stand on the balcony in the rain? It was only a few degrees at that time, Gong Yu, even if there is a small eaves , the rain will still be blown by the wind, it's really cold, so cold that I don't think it's enough to wear several layers of down jackets, not to mention I'm wearing a windbreaker... but fortunately you said in time that I don't It's important, otherwise I might really stand to the end in that rain, wouldn't I be too stupid."

The sound of breathing in the air suddenly became heavy, mixed with some murmurs from the nasal cavity, Lu Xiangzhou glanced to the side, and turned back in embarrassment after seeing a pair of red eye sockets.This is too strange, he thought to himself, he won't be able to see Gong Yu cry in his lifetime, right?

"So I still have to thank you," then cry, he speaks with pleasure, and Gong Yu cries with pleasure, anyway, they are divorced, and no one wants to hinder anyone, "Thank you for speaking so absolutely, let me Every time I feel that I can't hold on anymore, I can dig out a product, but it's a pity that I didn't see your expression at that time, if I was lucky enough to see it, I think I will leave this marriage more happily."

"I don't know...Xiang Zhou, I really didn't know you were pregnant at that time, if I had known, I wouldn't—"

"So why don't you know? Did I get pregnant secretly? Or did I perform some kind of invisibility at home? You can't see so many retches, and people who eat very salty start to drink porridge and eat light, you can't see. You can't see people who are in good health covering their waists at least dozens of times a day. Oh, it can't be your fault, can it? After all, you are an obstetrician, and these symptoms are not easy to see."

The plastic cup that was still in his hand just now was turned into a ball of mud by Lu Xiangzhou, and there was a "click" sound when it was squeezed in the palm of his hand.Gong Yu raised his hand to help him take the paper cup, but as soon as he raised his hand, tears fell, so he turned around and covered his eyes with his arms, a bit embarrassed and pitiful.

"How strange, is this unbearable?" Unfortunately, Lu Xiangzhou didn't think, "Is it you who is ignored, or is it you who is forced to have an abortion? Don't be so hypocritical, it will make me appear a little too strong."

"Xiang Zhou..." The word was like a sword, Gong Yu turned around with difficulty, walked slowly to Lu Xiangzhou's bed and squatted down, and begged in an extremely miserable tone, "It's all my fault...it's all my fault. ..I shouldn't quibble, and I... I don't have the qualifications to quibble, but, but can I make it up to you? Please? Can you let me stay by your side? It's fine not to be a lover, but even a dog. Let me do a little—"

"No!" Lu Xiangzhou suddenly became angry, "You beg me? Then who do I beg? I also want to beg you, Gong Yu, I have been begging you for the past ten years, it doesn't matter if you are not a lover, even if you are a dog All right, take a look at me, please take a look at me! Even just one look!! Have you seen it?!"

"I... I will—"

"There is no future, why should there be any future?! Really love can be separated from mountains and seas, can mountains and seas be flat? Don't do this kind of moral kidnapping to me, I just want to remember your face that told me to get out, just remember you I think my fever will infect your patient's expression, just want to repeat over and over again that you can still leave me alone at home under such circumstances. Otherwise, how can I feel sorry for that child, I am afraid that he will crawl back from hell and ask me why I have to forgive you, Gong Yu!!!"

"It's not your fault!! It's all my fault, Xiang Zhou!!! It's all my fault, it's—"

"I am the one who can bear the consequences, the one who hurts, the one who cries, and the one who is scolded and abandoned!! You are so gentle, and you still have a smile on your face when you tuck a patient in. Have I ever enjoyed this kind of treatment? I dare not even dream of such a scene!!! I will ask you if you want to get along with him, even if you ask, Gong Yu, who have you ever waved your fist at in this life? To me, only to me, What the hell did I do wrong to deserve you to treat me like this? Because I said a word to a patient who just woke up that he couldn't hear at all, so I will be fisted and kicked by you, wishing to get rid of it, so that there will be no future troubles. Then What about when I'm in a coma? No one cares if I need to tuck in my quilt when I'm having fucking surgery for days and nights and can't wake up!!!"

"I was wrong!!"

The sound of Gong Yu kneeling on the ground made the hospital bed tremble. Lu Xiangzhou was stunned and couldn't answer the words for a moment.

"You can call me whatever you want, I'm outrageous, I really...I really can't figure out why I can do this to you! But I...but Xiang Zhou, I can't, I can't I hope you have a good time, how could I...how could..."

"Yes, how did you do it? I'm really curious. I've been thinking about it for many years but I can't figure it out. What are you planning on me? What do you want from me? You don't need marriage, but you will definitely get married, even if It’s not me, there must be someone else. But you are married and you don’t want anything from marriage. You can eat if you cook for you, but you won’t force you if you don’t cook for you. You can accept someone to accompany you, but I see you are doing well without anyone to accompany you. So what are you trying to do with me, Gong Yu? You are so clear-headed and calm, do you know why you want to get married?"

Gong Yu, who was crying almost convulsively, couldn't answer. If his guilt value had any substance, it would probably explode by now.But Lu Xiangzhou didn't want to help, just looked at him quietly, without moving, wondering if he was the first person in this world to make Gong Yu collapse like this?If it counts, is it worth it for me to suffer all these hardships?

"Four or five times, I told myself, if you can give the correct answer, then I won't take this child away." That would be more worthwhile, Lu Xiangzhou smiled silently, pursed his lips and continued.

"The first time was that meal, I thought you might ask me what's the matter, with a tone that really wants to know, maybe I apologize, maybe I'm anxious, then I'll tell you, and then pretend that nothing happened today Yes. But you didn't. You criticized me and threatened me, but you didn't want to hear what happened. I had no choice but to keep silent.

The second time was...that time... well, I thought if I could smell your pheromones, even just a little bit, I might be able to convince myself that you were really into me, but you It is impossible to say that it is a feudal superstition.Then feudal superstition, I can give up.

The third time I caught a cold, it was your fault and God's will.I can’t take cold medicine while taking abortion pills, but I just caught a cold. I thought God wanted me to keep this child, so I hesitated, dragging the medicine to cover my head and going to sleep, hoping to wait until I woke up Besides.But you...you were really good that day, so I'll just take medicine, it's not a big deal, it's life.

The fourth time I actually didn't have much hope. After taking medicine, the possibility of the child being kept is very small, but I... I may be mentally ill. I think maybe you will find that I was really Something is wrong.I said to myself, as long as you ask this time, no matter how bad the tone is, I will tell you the truth.But you didn't ask, and you didn't even get home much, so there was nothing I could do but take the pills honestly to the end.

The fifth time...and the last time.Seriously, I was throwing up and thinking, if only you would actually take me to the hospital, you check me up, you diagnose me, and you come and keep this kid yourself, or keep me.But you didn't, you just wanted to take me along and save your patients without me getting in your way.So what else can I do?with you?Seeing you humiliate me with your concern for others?I would rather die, I would rather die with the child. "

Gong Yu, who was still kneeling on the ground, cried until his cheeks were flushed, and the tears seemed to be off-switch, rushing out crazily, Lu Xiangzhou stared at the ceiling for a while, then suddenly turned around and pushed his shoulder.

"By the way, the emergency contact person for my operation still left your name. I really hoped that something would happen to me during the operation, so that you would be surprised, regret it, and... well, I At that time, I didn’t dare to expect that you would be as sad as you are now. At that time, I always felt that I couldn’t just leave, at least I had to leave you something, including those books. In fact, it was all my unwillingness.

But, but now, seeing you like this, I just feel upset. "

Apologizing is also upset, regret is also upset, crying is also upset, and tears that flow everywhere are even more upset.

"Gong Yu," Lu Xiangzhou said without any expression in his eyes, "So you know why it's impossible for us, because there is a human life in between!"