Kinn Porsche The Series gangster fell in love with me
Chapter 27: Enough
The KinnPorsche Story: Bad love, great love in the end
EP27 is enough
"Where are you going after the game?" I was still wearing my judo uniform, sitting lazily on a long wooden bench in the gymnasium, looking at my two friends sitting next to me, and asked.
"Why do you look like this? Are you unhappy that you won the game?" Jom put his arms around my neck, shaking from side to side, I sighed for a day, I never thought that my feelings would be so deep, With the change in Kinn's attitude it made me think a lot, think too much and become a burden, I don't want to be like this, but like I said, I already have feelings for him.
In the past few days, we talked very little, basically, I just asked casually, no more contact and troubles as usual, this time Kinn's quick turn around made me a little puzzled, it was the first two days I found a video on Kinn’s phone, and at that moment, my heart skipped a beat. When I couldn’t find the photo Kinn said, I found the video instead, but when I found the memories of him and his ex-boyfriend , photos and videos are preserved.
Kinn easy smiling guy, very annoying, likes to do crazy things?It's his real self, I used to think I was the only one seeing him, but no...
Seeing him and his ex looking happy, eyes and actions, it's no different than when he was with me, even if the affection was deep, because that could mean he trusted that person a lot, it's no different than me .
But not quite the same, when he was with him, the look on his face and the joy in his eyes, but to me, it was like something was between us, now I should have something for him How much do you feel?I just know how much he loves him, from his attitude and the memories he keeps.
what about me?Every time I look at his eyes, there is no more special feeling than that person. I am confused and can't understand my feelings. Kinn who has been trying to avoid me for a few days and doesn't look at me...
I'm wondering now, how should I go about this..
I'm cursing myself in the back of my head because I can't stop thinking about this, shouldn't I be focusing on other things?
Whether it's about my brother, or school, or work, or even that malicious person, but in the back of my mind, I can't stop thinking about him...
"Tem…" I turned my head to Tem and whispered softly. , Tem raised his eyebrows, and stopped the scoop of ice cream that was about to be scooped into his mouth, "You... are you doing what Big Sister Yok said?" I tried to lower my voice so that only the two of us could hear it.
"...what you" Tem was full of anxiety, gradually his face started to turn red, I immediately looked at him with wide eyes, I knew my friend might be secretly dating someone now, because of the breath of someone in love Almost just emanating from him, but even so, I didn't ask too much or gossip about anything, when it came time to tell myself he would say it, but now it's like this, have you tried the method that sister Yok told you Already...
"Have you tried it, how does it work?" I asked again.Trying to find a reason for what this Kinn did, he probably didn't like our last night, and that night, I was so ashamed.
"Not yet" Tem said not quite, but I doubt it.
"Tell me what you want, I need counseling." I pressed harder, surprising Tem even more.
"...Why? Why did you try?" I quickly shook my head in denial. I threatened him with my eyes so hard that he lowered his head and turned his eyes to the ice cream that he had eaten a few bites, trying not to meet my eyes.
"Hmm...you can ask me," he replied in a low voice, and I couldn't help smiling when I saw that my friends of the same height were petite and cute.
"What are you talking about? I'll join you for a chat too." Jom frowned and shouted, looking back and forth between Tem and me.
"No" Tem and I said it at the same time.
"Asshole! Both of you are very good at keeping secrets, don't be discouraged, you assholes!" He said angrily, got up from the chair, and walked to the bathroom. Tem and I sighed at the same time, well, if you tell Jom, let He knew what we were talking about, he must have been shocked!Even if it's acceptable, I think he may need some time to adjust.
"So...does he like it?" I turned around and asked Tem, his face turned pale and he nodded in response.
"Well, maybe...??...probably."
"Then you didn't ask?"
"Dare you ask Kinn?"
"Don't dare" replied accidentally, I quickly stopped my words, looked at Tem who was happy and looked at me with a wry smile, "Damn Tem! You bastard!" I cursed until Tem's face was full smile.
"Haha, you suck, bastard! Haha, you can't fool me!" Tem said so proudly that I had to kick his legs with all my strength.
"Damn it!" I told Tem the whole truth about embarrassing myself in front of my friends, slapping my face and eyes, so stupid I want to bang my head against the wall!
"It hurts... lol, why? Does he not like it?...or what's wrong with him? I mean, I haven't seen him here lately, have a fight?" Tem asked suspiciously, I don't know How to answer my friend, the person who should feel very discouraged should be me, because I already like him, and then when it comes to the past, he becomes different for no reason, so I keep asking myself why, I try my best to behave Be normal, don't think too much about the things I encounter, even if I think too much, I have no right to show it, because I have nothing to do with him, besides, he is used to being crazy in front of me, I don't know anything, Now I'm confused about the whole situation, "What's wrong with you guys? Tell me a little bit."
"I'm going to change clothes." I stood up from the chair.Carrying the bag and going to the bathroom, ignoring Tem's cry, I raised my head and was about to leave my good friend who kept disturbing me.
I had to stop everything and look at the newcomer in amazement.
"Congratulations, I heard from PBeam that Porsche also won today, and I didn't even have time to watch it." Vegas stopped in front of me with a smile, and I nodded. That's right, after harassing me in the car last time, I wanted to just beat him up like this.
"Porsche, go and change your clothes." Tem should have known about the embarrassing incident, so he hurried forward and poked my arm.
"Porsche, don't make that look, I'm sorry, don't hate me." Vegas probably remembered that day too, and it was enough to scare him.
"I really didn't mean to, Porsche." He took a step towards me, but I automatically took a step back, hey!The look in his eyes is really regretful, but if you think about what happened that day carefully, he is really trying to take me away and save me from those idiots, although there are some incomprehensible words and deeds.
"Forget it, I don't remember," I said bluntly, erasing my troubles, as if I didn't care much about the person in front of me.
"...I'm really sorry." Vegas still had a bad expression on his face, and he continued to stare at my face without looking away.
"Farewell." I didn't want to think about anything else to mess with my brain, I waved goodbye to Vegas and ran to the bathroom, Vegas didn't think about following me or harassing me or anything, I managed to be like always I also changed into my student uniform.Won Judo today but I acted like a guy who carries the whole world, actually, today's match was a qualifying match against other universities in a relationship match, I was secretly hoping that Kinn would come to the gym to find me, same as before , but not at all, no sign at all... Even though I won and PBeam was almost paraded in college, I was not happy with my performance because I felt unable to concentrate and I was thinking about Kinn these days , although I occasionally show up in his room, I have never slept there like I used to, an anomaly that makes me uncomfortable, and I want to ask him... what happened, what is it, but this Didn't give me a chance to talk, when he saw my face, he walked into the room, he pretended to play some games, took a shower, went downstairs to get something to eat and I think these days he will go out a lot without letting Anyone who follows...
Like I said, it's a non-stop answer to me every day about how I feel deep inside, what am I to him?
Or just accusing him of being a bedmate like Big used to do, that's all...
"What the hell..." I tried to start the bike for the better part of the day, but it was stubborn, and it was running fine this morning, damn it!My life is so unlucky that it has no end.
"What's wrong, Porsche?" Vegas walked towards me with a worried face, I got off my motorcycle and squatted on the ground, looking at the different parts of the car's engine, what the hell is going on people's emotions are more unstable Well, nothing is going my way, and Vegas himself is sitting next to me, constantly clutching this and that to check on the condition of my car.
"I suspect the battery of this car is dead." Vegas inspected the entire car, and I was able to guess the cause of the failure myself, so I called Tem without hesitation, so that he could come to help me immediately, Not knowing what Vegas was doing with the car, he continued to circle the car, grabbing this and that and so on.
"Where's Tem...?" We'd just left the gym, and Tem was probably still hanging out around the faculty building.
[Warming up by the pool, what's wrong? ]
"Oh, do you still want to swim?" I saw that it was late and asked.
[Tomorrow I have a game.What's wrong? ] I sighed softly, feeling like I didn't want to bother my friend, it looked like Tem was serious about swimming and didn't want to bother him at all.
"And what about Jom?"
[I went back and saw that someone invited me to dinner. Aunt Classmate No. came back from the United States and brought me some souvenirs. ] I rolled my eyes in disgust and thought my two friends really couldn't help.
"It's nothing, let's do it." I hung up the phone and turned to look at the motorcycle tiredly. What should I do?
"Porsche, I'll ask my people to help you pull the car to the garage." Vegas, who had just finished talking on the phone, walked in, stopped in front of me, and gave me a small smile.
"Actually, you don't have to do this, I'll get a friend to help me." Again I said bluntly, I don't want things to get messed up or later favored.
"I've called to arrange. No accidents, it will be fixed tomorrow." Vegas is always a good guy, and it's hard not to follow through on his stated requests.
"Actually, it's not..."
"Take it as an apology for making the Porsche uncomfortable." He cuts in before I can say no again, and I think about it for a long time, it's all the same for you bastards, shit!When they want to do something and can't, do they accept it?The whole family is like this, really can't understand people's words.
"Actually, it's not difficult." I said compromised, because I think arguing is not worth your wayward stubbornness, and Kinn and Kun are examples.
"Let the mechanic take the car to have a look, and I'll tell you what's going on."
"But..." I sighed with an irritated expression, Kinn would be mad at me if he found Vegas meddling, but... not bad, I wonder what his expression would be.
"Then that's it..." I sighed softly and nodded helplessly until Vegas smiled.
"So... I want to apologize for another matter, let me take you back." He looked at me with wide eyes, and I immediately shook my head and refused.
"It's okay, I'll take a taxi back." I quickly jumped up and objected, I told you, no matter how good he is, but the thing in the car still pokes my heart, it makes me feel unsafe because I really don't Know what he is actually thinking.
"Porsche...I know I didn't do well, but can I prove that I have no ill will towards Porsche?" Vegas said in a serious tone.
"It's really okay, I can go back by myself." I said quickly.
"If Porsche continues like this, I won't feel at ease. Let me deliver it. I won't do anything bad, and I won't make things difficult for Porsche." Vegas' voice became darker, as if emphasizing that what he said was true of.
"But..." But anyway, I was very disturbed inside, and even in the back of my mind, I wondered if Kinn would be angry, but was terrified.
"Porsche said he couldn't remember, if so, can I send you for peace of mind? Let me make sure Porsche doesn't hate me." The Vegas begged with words, which made me take a deep breath, his expression and eyes seemed to be Trying to build my confidence in him, since he said so, I don't know what to do if I say no, besides, looking back on past actions, he helped me a lot, people like him are not very toxic , if something happens and I'm still sane in every way, there's probably nothing he can do to me.
I finally got in the car, besides, it's already evening, he wouldn't dare to do bad things like last time, I want to let myself relax first, but I try to be careful, if Kinn finds out, he Will you go crazy for me?But I'm not sure either?Or will it be ignored?Even before, because of Vegas, I ended up with Kinn like this, is it still the same or not?Really, this curiosity is more of a mistrust of Vegas.
"Do you want me to take you back to your uncle's house?" Vegas drove away and asked me, his uncle is Khun Korn.
"Um"
"At night like this, the traffic jam is very serious." Vegas said and reached out to turn on the music in the car. I sat and played with my phone and looked up at the direction. Vegas itself didn't bother me too much, and turned to ask me what the weather was like. Questions, I answered with answers until the car was in the middle of the road.
"Are you hungry?" asked me, turning to me at a stoplight in Vegas.
"No" I answered briefly, he smiled slightly, turned up the music in the car a bit, then hummed lightly, and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel comfortably, I turned around secretly to watch He looked relieved, I must have worried too much, when he tried to force me in the car that day, he was probably drunk, he looks like a normal person now.
"Although it seems that there is no chance to miss it again, love still asks me to do this..." Vegas sang while looking out of the car, and I smiled because I remembered something that I was angry with Kinn the other day. Also sang such a crazy song, what kind of song is this?That voice was so lost, it lingered in my ears for a long time, I accidentally thought of Kinn, until I didn't know how big my smile was, and Vegas turned to look at me.
"What are you laughing at...do you like this song?" Vegas turned to look at me and asked in surprise, but his eyes were so strangely dazzling that I had to close my smiling mouth quickly and immediately Staring out the window.
"Humph... I will keep giving until you accept, tell you I love you until you accept." Vegas continued to sing, I looked down at the phone screen, opened the chat window with Kinn, what is he doing now?The message stopped since he said he accidentally fell asleep and I left for college early in the morning and he replied Ok and after that, didn't even send me any texts as usual by the end of school information.
tired?That's the only word that comes to mind now, and it's the only word that comes back to my brain, "I don't like eating the same thing," he said when we were stuck in the woods, and I don't know how those words came back again To my feeling, must be tired.
How would such a person make me feel?I think too much by myself...
When the car drove into the house, the janitor saw that it was the owner's nephew's car. He quickly opened the door and waved his hand. Vegas parked the car beside the garden.
"I'm leaving." Vegas said, "Uh, can I add you to Line?" Vegas put the phone in front of me, and I raised my eyebrows in surprise. , "I can only tell you if the car is repaired, then let the mechanic send it over." I thought about it and felt that it was really necessary to do this. He did it voluntarily, and my car is still in his There, having to add Line for easy contact, I enter my ID and press add my friend and give him his phone back.
"Anyway, I told you...thanks for bringing me back." I concluded, Vegas grinning and waving goodbye, I got out of the car, slung my backpack over my shoulder, and was about to turn around and walk into the house, but my The eyes accidentally saw a tall figure, frowning, leaning on the hood of his car with his arms crossed.
"..." I was stunned when Kinn in his school uniform squinted at me, I honestly still can't process how I feel, am I supposed to act normal?should i be angryOr what should I do?
"Come upstairs and find me." Kinn said with a serious expression on his face, but my heart was beating thumping, rhythmically beating in the chaos, and deep inside I was hiding joy.
I put the bag in the bathroom to wash my face and eyes, then stand in front of the mirror for a while, let your thoughts and emotions be as normal as possible, why do I have to stand and smile?I must be crazy trying to get him mad at me, I was thinking how angry or rampant Kinn would be, probably yelling until my ears were deaf from the yelling, or maybe he was so angry he was already A blood vessel exploded in the front of the room, throwing everything in the room and me and Vegas? Kinn vents unbearable emotions, but if that's the case, I think he still cares a little bit about me...
"Brother, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, can I go to my friend's room to sleep?" I opened the door of the bathroom and found that Chè was packing clothes, if you have done this, you don't even have to ask me .
"Who?" I asked my brother, who was acting grumpy.
"Oh oh oh oh oh...that's Di's people."
"Oh, it's so long." I wiped my eyes and looked at him critically, "How did you get there?"
"Just go to the dormitory and find them." Although I was a little surprised, my brother may not go to his friends as he said, maybe he has a girlfriend, should we pretend not to let him go?
"I won't let you go." I said sternly.His face immediately changed color.
"What, it doesn't usually stop," he yelled, which made me laugh, and I didn't know why I felt so much better.
"I have doubts...you have a girlfriend." I raised my eyebrows suspiciously.He has peach blossoms on his face, I'm pretty sure of my guess.
"What the hell is my girlfriend?" He casually stuffed the clothes into the bag.
"Yeah, just go wherever you want, Line just tell me..." I put my hands in my trouser pockets, and I was about to walk out of the room, "Be careful, don't make anyone pregnant." After I finished, After closing the door, I was a little surprised to see Che's face secretly, what?I don't want to be an uncle at such a young age.
I knew I must have been pissed off by Kinn when I went up to the room, but it felt so good, I must be crazy.
The feeling of confusion for a few days seems to gradually fade away, I am crazy, I am really crazy!!
Squeak~ I opened the door and walked into the office, the smell of cigarettes wafted out and hit my nose heavily, Kinn stood with his back on his back, opened the window near the desk, spit the smoke out of his mouth, occasionally Watching him smoke, I don't know what emotion it is, but I can feel the atmosphere in the room, from the comfort of being alone before, to now awkward and gloomy, until I start to feel anxiety and thoughts start to sink into my head again...
"…" Kinn turned to look at me standing at my desk.I don't know what expression I'm looking at him with now, but his expression and eyes are lower than the Kinn I know.
"Where did you go with Vegas?" a deep voice asked, shaking the ashes into the clear glass ashtray.
"..." I was a little stunned, feeling guilty about the picture in my mind, Kinn looked at me for a while, then quickly walked out of the window, without speaking in a low and rough voice, there was not even a trace of emotion in that tone, "I..." I swallow hard, feeling wrong about something I didn't expect, isn't it nice that he isn't mad at me like that?But there was a strange pain in my heart, because the pressure on the lump on the left side was so great that I felt a tingling.
"How?" He asked again with the same expression.
"My car broke down, and I happened to meet him, so he took the initiative to send me back." I also replied in a normal tone.
"...Don't get involved with him, do you remember what I told you?" Kinn didn't even turn his head to meet my gaze, he didn't even look back at me, which intensified the feeling of days , the more clear it is.
Today it's like Kinn doesn't care, my car broke down? Kinn just skipped over it, he didn't ask, he didn't ask me where I was from, and he didn't want to know why...
"..."
"Let me tell you again, don't get involved with him, don't get too close to him."
All he cares about is Vegas...
"Why?" I asked, looking away blankly, I felt like my brain was completely blank, unable to find an answer, like being pulled over and over again.
"I've already told you that if people see that the influence is not good, they will use it as an argument..."
"That's it?" I whispered, I wanted to curse myself, tie my feelings to him, I didn't understand what was going on, but it was clear enough.That's it?That's not what he meant by asking me to come up and ask, and how he feels, is it?
"...not" Kinn turned his head, looked at me blankly, and threw the cigarette butt into the glass ashtray, I took a deep breath, the change in him was so obvious, it made me feel discouraged, before, if he saw Me, he would hug me, kiss me on the cheek, and tease me to make me angry, but it turns out, he turned back into the old Kinn, the man who was so tall, who I used to hate, who had no feelings at all...
I've been waiting to hear what he's going to say next, like I'm secretly expecting something, but it all fell apart...
"Can you give me the 19-year file you arranged? I'll go get it to Dad." Kinn sat on the chair, staring at the computer screen, wanting to ask why, why, why, why should I change, why does it make me feel, then Why are you playing with my feelings..
I pursed my lips, resisting to complete Kinn's order and it was over, despite wanting to yell, what the hell happened to you?If you are not satisfied with me, just say it!But he puts on the headset, turns on the game, and it's over, and he never gives me a chance to ask a question and ask him directly.
As I said here, everything is clear, as Pete reminded, and Vegas said, as Big said...
For a person like him, there must be many people to choose from. Why does he have feelings for people like me?If there is any need, you must take me to heart...
Just someone who accepts him, no different than anyone he's slept with before.
What to expect from someone who is easy to get...
"..." I lowered my head and looked for the documents that Kinn said had been stored on my side for 19 years. The letters in front of me were in Thai, but my eyes were dizzy, and I felt that my brain was not working, and I couldn't read a single letter. .I don't know how much time I spent here.But I didn't even want to turn to face Kinn, the atmosphere in the room was filled with silence, quite different from the chaos of thoughts.
"Porsche...Porsche" Kinn's voice brought me back to consciousness, and I quickly picked up the file Kinn wanted, even though the file was right in front of you but my eyes were completely blind.
"Uh..." I put the file on his desk, "It's nothing, I'm leaving." I said calmly, my hand was about to withdraw from the file, but I had to stop, just at Kinn I raised my head to meet him, who was staring at me, as thick hands grabbed me hastily.
"...I'm very tired recently." He thought for a while before saying that sentence. I asked him to hold my hand tightly. I don't know what he wanted to convey. It was supposed to be a feeling of happiness, but the result was not. Comfortable until I don't know what to do so I just let him hold my hand like this I'm waiting for what he says next Now that you're tired, what are you tired about?I spend most of my time with him and I don't see anything to worry about, other than the fact that I found his phone, but to me it's not a big deal or something to think about, other than...
knock knock knock knock
"KhunKinn, there are guests who want to see you..." the voice of the bodyguard in front of the room knocked on the door and said, Kinn let go of my hand quickly, so I had to follow the opened door and look over, a new person came in up.
When my eyes fell on a familiar figure and face, my heart trembled for a moment. Kinn's action just now made my chest flash. Seeing the person who came in, he quickly pulled back his hand and made a gesture. The answer I was looking for became clearer in my mind bit by bit..
"Kinn, Tawan brought you a British souvenir." A sweet face smiled at Kinn who was sitting stiffly, squinting at me.
Tawan...Kinn's ex-boyfriend, he's back?So, is that why he's acting weird these days?I stood silently again, the atmosphere around him was unclear, both melancholy and heartbroken, making me almost not want to be here, I turned my head to look at the man named Tawan. , and clearly saw a good-looking face, not surprising that he used to be Kinn's ex-boyfriend, a handsome face with a sweet side, elegant personality, looks very suitable for Kinn.
"Tawan...is here to disturb Kinn?" Even the tone of speaking looks so good, the tone is so gentle, when I used to think that Kinn might have a heart or feelings for me, so that I wanted to punch myself hard head.
Because I have nothing to compare him to, nothing at all.
"Thank you" Kinn, who was silent for a long time, stood up from the chair, walked towards the sun, and took the items in his hands. I watched every movement from behind, and Tawan also looked very nervous when he saw Kinn. Kinn dared not even make eye contact with him, or look directly at him.
But the feeling of the two of them is familiar. Looking at their eyes, the two are very familiar. Tawan watched every movement of Kinn. Kinn seemed to be trying to maintain his emotions. I immediately realized that he still had a lot of love for the person in front of him. otherwise, it wouldn't behave so wrongly.
Judging from the intimacy of these two people, they seem to have disappeared into a different dimension, making me feel like a very redundant person... Tawan sat down on the sofa at the invitation of Kinn, and Kinn sat next to him, But the distance was quite far, and he didn't look back at me again. , the room was spacious, but it didn't seem like there was even room for me to stand.
Understand that enduring everything that happened until exhausted is now, I really hate that I am so weak, there is a feeling deep inside, weak to the point of breaking apart bit by bit, damn it! ! !Why did I become like this?
"Can Tawan talk to Kinn?" Tawan looks at me out of the corner of his eye, further reinforcing that I'm redundant and I want to get out of here, but I can't move my legs.
"...What's the matter?" Kinn was silent for a moment, making a gesture to turn his head to look at me, but he didn't look, and asked Tawan back like this.
I thought this was not my place anymore, hurt was the only word that entered my heart, but, if Kinn turned around and chased me straight away, wouldn't it be more painful... Sigh, just thinking about it makes my heart fall from a height It generally sank, and if that was the case, I'm afraid I couldn't bear it at all.
"It's Tawan..."
Quickly!The sound of opening the door quickly spread into the room, attracting everyone's attention, and Tankun walked in frowning.
"Why are you here?" A loud noise broke the oppressive atmosphere in the room.
"Kun..." Tawan stood up from the sofa, and gave Tankun a forced smile, Tankun kept cursing, almost beyond words.
"Kinn, why did you let him in?" Tankun was still yelling rudely in front of Tawan, making his smile start to fade.
"Kun, don't do this,... you leave first." Kinn grabbed his arm to calm Tankun down.
"Kun, I have a gift for you." It could be seen that Tawan was trying to be kind to the tiger, but a tiger like Tankun brushed the bags away from Sun's hands, causing them to scatter on the ground.
"Kun!" Kinn yelled at his brother so hard that I had to frown at him, like I said, he still has feelings for Tawan, that's why he became so distraught.
"What, why did you talk to him? And why did you come back? What did you do to my brother..." Tankun was so angry that he wanted to rush towards Tawan, Kinn quickly blocked Tankun, turned around and called me who was standing.
"Porsche, take Tankun out." A voice sounded in the room, and I froze for a moment, feeling an unprecedented sense of sadness welling up in my heart.Even though he didn't kick me out straight away, he still yelled at me to get out of the room, I don't know what I've done in this room
EP27 is enough
"Where are you going after the game?" I was still wearing my judo uniform, sitting lazily on a long wooden bench in the gymnasium, looking at my two friends sitting next to me, and asked.
"Why do you look like this? Are you unhappy that you won the game?" Jom put his arms around my neck, shaking from side to side, I sighed for a day, I never thought that my feelings would be so deep, With the change in Kinn's attitude it made me think a lot, think too much and become a burden, I don't want to be like this, but like I said, I already have feelings for him.
In the past few days, we talked very little, basically, I just asked casually, no more contact and troubles as usual, this time Kinn's quick turn around made me a little puzzled, it was the first two days I found a video on Kinn’s phone, and at that moment, my heart skipped a beat. When I couldn’t find the photo Kinn said, I found the video instead, but when I found the memories of him and his ex-boyfriend , photos and videos are preserved.
Kinn easy smiling guy, very annoying, likes to do crazy things?It's his real self, I used to think I was the only one seeing him, but no...
Seeing him and his ex looking happy, eyes and actions, it's no different than when he was with me, even if the affection was deep, because that could mean he trusted that person a lot, it's no different than me .
But not quite the same, when he was with him, the look on his face and the joy in his eyes, but to me, it was like something was between us, now I should have something for him How much do you feel?I just know how much he loves him, from his attitude and the memories he keeps.
what about me?Every time I look at his eyes, there is no more special feeling than that person. I am confused and can't understand my feelings. Kinn who has been trying to avoid me for a few days and doesn't look at me...
I'm wondering now, how should I go about this..
I'm cursing myself in the back of my head because I can't stop thinking about this, shouldn't I be focusing on other things?
Whether it's about my brother, or school, or work, or even that malicious person, but in the back of my mind, I can't stop thinking about him...
"Tem…" I turned my head to Tem and whispered softly. , Tem raised his eyebrows, and stopped the scoop of ice cream that was about to be scooped into his mouth, "You... are you doing what Big Sister Yok said?" I tried to lower my voice so that only the two of us could hear it.
"...what you" Tem was full of anxiety, gradually his face started to turn red, I immediately looked at him with wide eyes, I knew my friend might be secretly dating someone now, because of the breath of someone in love Almost just emanating from him, but even so, I didn't ask too much or gossip about anything, when it came time to tell myself he would say it, but now it's like this, have you tried the method that sister Yok told you Already...
"Have you tried it, how does it work?" I asked again.Trying to find a reason for what this Kinn did, he probably didn't like our last night, and that night, I was so ashamed.
"Not yet" Tem said not quite, but I doubt it.
"Tell me what you want, I need counseling." I pressed harder, surprising Tem even more.
"...Why? Why did you try?" I quickly shook my head in denial. I threatened him with my eyes so hard that he lowered his head and turned his eyes to the ice cream that he had eaten a few bites, trying not to meet my eyes.
"Hmm...you can ask me," he replied in a low voice, and I couldn't help smiling when I saw that my friends of the same height were petite and cute.
"What are you talking about? I'll join you for a chat too." Jom frowned and shouted, looking back and forth between Tem and me.
"No" Tem and I said it at the same time.
"Asshole! Both of you are very good at keeping secrets, don't be discouraged, you assholes!" He said angrily, got up from the chair, and walked to the bathroom. Tem and I sighed at the same time, well, if you tell Jom, let He knew what we were talking about, he must have been shocked!Even if it's acceptable, I think he may need some time to adjust.
"So...does he like it?" I turned around and asked Tem, his face turned pale and he nodded in response.
"Well, maybe...??...probably."
"Then you didn't ask?"
"Dare you ask Kinn?"
"Don't dare" replied accidentally, I quickly stopped my words, looked at Tem who was happy and looked at me with a wry smile, "Damn Tem! You bastard!" I cursed until Tem's face was full smile.
"Haha, you suck, bastard! Haha, you can't fool me!" Tem said so proudly that I had to kick his legs with all my strength.
"Damn it!" I told Tem the whole truth about embarrassing myself in front of my friends, slapping my face and eyes, so stupid I want to bang my head against the wall!
"It hurts... lol, why? Does he not like it?...or what's wrong with him? I mean, I haven't seen him here lately, have a fight?" Tem asked suspiciously, I don't know How to answer my friend, the person who should feel very discouraged should be me, because I already like him, and then when it comes to the past, he becomes different for no reason, so I keep asking myself why, I try my best to behave Be normal, don't think too much about the things I encounter, even if I think too much, I have no right to show it, because I have nothing to do with him, besides, he is used to being crazy in front of me, I don't know anything, Now I'm confused about the whole situation, "What's wrong with you guys? Tell me a little bit."
"I'm going to change clothes." I stood up from the chair.Carrying the bag and going to the bathroom, ignoring Tem's cry, I raised my head and was about to leave my good friend who kept disturbing me.
I had to stop everything and look at the newcomer in amazement.
"Congratulations, I heard from PBeam that Porsche also won today, and I didn't even have time to watch it." Vegas stopped in front of me with a smile, and I nodded. That's right, after harassing me in the car last time, I wanted to just beat him up like this.
"Porsche, go and change your clothes." Tem should have known about the embarrassing incident, so he hurried forward and poked my arm.
"Porsche, don't make that look, I'm sorry, don't hate me." Vegas probably remembered that day too, and it was enough to scare him.
"I really didn't mean to, Porsche." He took a step towards me, but I automatically took a step back, hey!The look in his eyes is really regretful, but if you think about what happened that day carefully, he is really trying to take me away and save me from those idiots, although there are some incomprehensible words and deeds.
"Forget it, I don't remember," I said bluntly, erasing my troubles, as if I didn't care much about the person in front of me.
"...I'm really sorry." Vegas still had a bad expression on his face, and he continued to stare at my face without looking away.
"Farewell." I didn't want to think about anything else to mess with my brain, I waved goodbye to Vegas and ran to the bathroom, Vegas didn't think about following me or harassing me or anything, I managed to be like always I also changed into my student uniform.Won Judo today but I acted like a guy who carries the whole world, actually, today's match was a qualifying match against other universities in a relationship match, I was secretly hoping that Kinn would come to the gym to find me, same as before , but not at all, no sign at all... Even though I won and PBeam was almost paraded in college, I was not happy with my performance because I felt unable to concentrate and I was thinking about Kinn these days , although I occasionally show up in his room, I have never slept there like I used to, an anomaly that makes me uncomfortable, and I want to ask him... what happened, what is it, but this Didn't give me a chance to talk, when he saw my face, he walked into the room, he pretended to play some games, took a shower, went downstairs to get something to eat and I think these days he will go out a lot without letting Anyone who follows...
Like I said, it's a non-stop answer to me every day about how I feel deep inside, what am I to him?
Or just accusing him of being a bedmate like Big used to do, that's all...
"What the hell..." I tried to start the bike for the better part of the day, but it was stubborn, and it was running fine this morning, damn it!My life is so unlucky that it has no end.
"What's wrong, Porsche?" Vegas walked towards me with a worried face, I got off my motorcycle and squatted on the ground, looking at the different parts of the car's engine, what the hell is going on people's emotions are more unstable Well, nothing is going my way, and Vegas himself is sitting next to me, constantly clutching this and that to check on the condition of my car.
"I suspect the battery of this car is dead." Vegas inspected the entire car, and I was able to guess the cause of the failure myself, so I called Tem without hesitation, so that he could come to help me immediately, Not knowing what Vegas was doing with the car, he continued to circle the car, grabbing this and that and so on.
"Where's Tem...?" We'd just left the gym, and Tem was probably still hanging out around the faculty building.
[Warming up by the pool, what's wrong? ]
"Oh, do you still want to swim?" I saw that it was late and asked.
[Tomorrow I have a game.What's wrong? ] I sighed softly, feeling like I didn't want to bother my friend, it looked like Tem was serious about swimming and didn't want to bother him at all.
"And what about Jom?"
[I went back and saw that someone invited me to dinner. Aunt Classmate No. came back from the United States and brought me some souvenirs. ] I rolled my eyes in disgust and thought my two friends really couldn't help.
"It's nothing, let's do it." I hung up the phone and turned to look at the motorcycle tiredly. What should I do?
"Porsche, I'll ask my people to help you pull the car to the garage." Vegas, who had just finished talking on the phone, walked in, stopped in front of me, and gave me a small smile.
"Actually, you don't have to do this, I'll get a friend to help me." Again I said bluntly, I don't want things to get messed up or later favored.
"I've called to arrange. No accidents, it will be fixed tomorrow." Vegas is always a good guy, and it's hard not to follow through on his stated requests.
"Actually, it's not..."
"Take it as an apology for making the Porsche uncomfortable." He cuts in before I can say no again, and I think about it for a long time, it's all the same for you bastards, shit!When they want to do something and can't, do they accept it?The whole family is like this, really can't understand people's words.
"Actually, it's not difficult." I said compromised, because I think arguing is not worth your wayward stubbornness, and Kinn and Kun are examples.
"Let the mechanic take the car to have a look, and I'll tell you what's going on."
"But..." I sighed with an irritated expression, Kinn would be mad at me if he found Vegas meddling, but... not bad, I wonder what his expression would be.
"Then that's it..." I sighed softly and nodded helplessly until Vegas smiled.
"So... I want to apologize for another matter, let me take you back." He looked at me with wide eyes, and I immediately shook my head and refused.
"It's okay, I'll take a taxi back." I quickly jumped up and objected, I told you, no matter how good he is, but the thing in the car still pokes my heart, it makes me feel unsafe because I really don't Know what he is actually thinking.
"Porsche...I know I didn't do well, but can I prove that I have no ill will towards Porsche?" Vegas said in a serious tone.
"It's really okay, I can go back by myself." I said quickly.
"If Porsche continues like this, I won't feel at ease. Let me deliver it. I won't do anything bad, and I won't make things difficult for Porsche." Vegas' voice became darker, as if emphasizing that what he said was true of.
"But..." But anyway, I was very disturbed inside, and even in the back of my mind, I wondered if Kinn would be angry, but was terrified.
"Porsche said he couldn't remember, if so, can I send you for peace of mind? Let me make sure Porsche doesn't hate me." The Vegas begged with words, which made me take a deep breath, his expression and eyes seemed to be Trying to build my confidence in him, since he said so, I don't know what to do if I say no, besides, looking back on past actions, he helped me a lot, people like him are not very toxic , if something happens and I'm still sane in every way, there's probably nothing he can do to me.
I finally got in the car, besides, it's already evening, he wouldn't dare to do bad things like last time, I want to let myself relax first, but I try to be careful, if Kinn finds out, he Will you go crazy for me?But I'm not sure either?Or will it be ignored?Even before, because of Vegas, I ended up with Kinn like this, is it still the same or not?Really, this curiosity is more of a mistrust of Vegas.
"Do you want me to take you back to your uncle's house?" Vegas drove away and asked me, his uncle is Khun Korn.
"Um"
"At night like this, the traffic jam is very serious." Vegas said and reached out to turn on the music in the car. I sat and played with my phone and looked up at the direction. Vegas itself didn't bother me too much, and turned to ask me what the weather was like. Questions, I answered with answers until the car was in the middle of the road.
"Are you hungry?" asked me, turning to me at a stoplight in Vegas.
"No" I answered briefly, he smiled slightly, turned up the music in the car a bit, then hummed lightly, and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel comfortably, I turned around secretly to watch He looked relieved, I must have worried too much, when he tried to force me in the car that day, he was probably drunk, he looks like a normal person now.
"Although it seems that there is no chance to miss it again, love still asks me to do this..." Vegas sang while looking out of the car, and I smiled because I remembered something that I was angry with Kinn the other day. Also sang such a crazy song, what kind of song is this?That voice was so lost, it lingered in my ears for a long time, I accidentally thought of Kinn, until I didn't know how big my smile was, and Vegas turned to look at me.
"What are you laughing at...do you like this song?" Vegas turned to look at me and asked in surprise, but his eyes were so strangely dazzling that I had to close my smiling mouth quickly and immediately Staring out the window.
"Humph... I will keep giving until you accept, tell you I love you until you accept." Vegas continued to sing, I looked down at the phone screen, opened the chat window with Kinn, what is he doing now?The message stopped since he said he accidentally fell asleep and I left for college early in the morning and he replied Ok and after that, didn't even send me any texts as usual by the end of school information.
tired?That's the only word that comes to mind now, and it's the only word that comes back to my brain, "I don't like eating the same thing," he said when we were stuck in the woods, and I don't know how those words came back again To my feeling, must be tired.
How would such a person make me feel?I think too much by myself...
When the car drove into the house, the janitor saw that it was the owner's nephew's car. He quickly opened the door and waved his hand. Vegas parked the car beside the garden.
"I'm leaving." Vegas said, "Uh, can I add you to Line?" Vegas put the phone in front of me, and I raised my eyebrows in surprise. , "I can only tell you if the car is repaired, then let the mechanic send it over." I thought about it and felt that it was really necessary to do this. He did it voluntarily, and my car is still in his There, having to add Line for easy contact, I enter my ID and press add my friend and give him his phone back.
"Anyway, I told you...thanks for bringing me back." I concluded, Vegas grinning and waving goodbye, I got out of the car, slung my backpack over my shoulder, and was about to turn around and walk into the house, but my The eyes accidentally saw a tall figure, frowning, leaning on the hood of his car with his arms crossed.
"..." I was stunned when Kinn in his school uniform squinted at me, I honestly still can't process how I feel, am I supposed to act normal?should i be angryOr what should I do?
"Come upstairs and find me." Kinn said with a serious expression on his face, but my heart was beating thumping, rhythmically beating in the chaos, and deep inside I was hiding joy.
I put the bag in the bathroom to wash my face and eyes, then stand in front of the mirror for a while, let your thoughts and emotions be as normal as possible, why do I have to stand and smile?I must be crazy trying to get him mad at me, I was thinking how angry or rampant Kinn would be, probably yelling until my ears were deaf from the yelling, or maybe he was so angry he was already A blood vessel exploded in the front of the room, throwing everything in the room and me and Vegas? Kinn vents unbearable emotions, but if that's the case, I think he still cares a little bit about me...
"Brother, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, can I go to my friend's room to sleep?" I opened the door of the bathroom and found that Chè was packing clothes, if you have done this, you don't even have to ask me .
"Who?" I asked my brother, who was acting grumpy.
"Oh oh oh oh oh...that's Di's people."
"Oh, it's so long." I wiped my eyes and looked at him critically, "How did you get there?"
"Just go to the dormitory and find them." Although I was a little surprised, my brother may not go to his friends as he said, maybe he has a girlfriend, should we pretend not to let him go?
"I won't let you go." I said sternly.His face immediately changed color.
"What, it doesn't usually stop," he yelled, which made me laugh, and I didn't know why I felt so much better.
"I have doubts...you have a girlfriend." I raised my eyebrows suspiciously.He has peach blossoms on his face, I'm pretty sure of my guess.
"What the hell is my girlfriend?" He casually stuffed the clothes into the bag.
"Yeah, just go wherever you want, Line just tell me..." I put my hands in my trouser pockets, and I was about to walk out of the room, "Be careful, don't make anyone pregnant." After I finished, After closing the door, I was a little surprised to see Che's face secretly, what?I don't want to be an uncle at such a young age.
I knew I must have been pissed off by Kinn when I went up to the room, but it felt so good, I must be crazy.
The feeling of confusion for a few days seems to gradually fade away, I am crazy, I am really crazy!!
Squeak~ I opened the door and walked into the office, the smell of cigarettes wafted out and hit my nose heavily, Kinn stood with his back on his back, opened the window near the desk, spit the smoke out of his mouth, occasionally Watching him smoke, I don't know what emotion it is, but I can feel the atmosphere in the room, from the comfort of being alone before, to now awkward and gloomy, until I start to feel anxiety and thoughts start to sink into my head again...
"…" Kinn turned to look at me standing at my desk.I don't know what expression I'm looking at him with now, but his expression and eyes are lower than the Kinn I know.
"Where did you go with Vegas?" a deep voice asked, shaking the ashes into the clear glass ashtray.
"..." I was a little stunned, feeling guilty about the picture in my mind, Kinn looked at me for a while, then quickly walked out of the window, without speaking in a low and rough voice, there was not even a trace of emotion in that tone, "I..." I swallow hard, feeling wrong about something I didn't expect, isn't it nice that he isn't mad at me like that?But there was a strange pain in my heart, because the pressure on the lump on the left side was so great that I felt a tingling.
"How?" He asked again with the same expression.
"My car broke down, and I happened to meet him, so he took the initiative to send me back." I also replied in a normal tone.
"...Don't get involved with him, do you remember what I told you?" Kinn didn't even turn his head to meet my gaze, he didn't even look back at me, which intensified the feeling of days , the more clear it is.
Today it's like Kinn doesn't care, my car broke down? Kinn just skipped over it, he didn't ask, he didn't ask me where I was from, and he didn't want to know why...
"..."
"Let me tell you again, don't get involved with him, don't get too close to him."
All he cares about is Vegas...
"Why?" I asked, looking away blankly, I felt like my brain was completely blank, unable to find an answer, like being pulled over and over again.
"I've already told you that if people see that the influence is not good, they will use it as an argument..."
"That's it?" I whispered, I wanted to curse myself, tie my feelings to him, I didn't understand what was going on, but it was clear enough.That's it?That's not what he meant by asking me to come up and ask, and how he feels, is it?
"...not" Kinn turned his head, looked at me blankly, and threw the cigarette butt into the glass ashtray, I took a deep breath, the change in him was so obvious, it made me feel discouraged, before, if he saw Me, he would hug me, kiss me on the cheek, and tease me to make me angry, but it turns out, he turned back into the old Kinn, the man who was so tall, who I used to hate, who had no feelings at all...
I've been waiting to hear what he's going to say next, like I'm secretly expecting something, but it all fell apart...
"Can you give me the 19-year file you arranged? I'll go get it to Dad." Kinn sat on the chair, staring at the computer screen, wanting to ask why, why, why, why should I change, why does it make me feel, then Why are you playing with my feelings..
I pursed my lips, resisting to complete Kinn's order and it was over, despite wanting to yell, what the hell happened to you?If you are not satisfied with me, just say it!But he puts on the headset, turns on the game, and it's over, and he never gives me a chance to ask a question and ask him directly.
As I said here, everything is clear, as Pete reminded, and Vegas said, as Big said...
For a person like him, there must be many people to choose from. Why does he have feelings for people like me?If there is any need, you must take me to heart...
Just someone who accepts him, no different than anyone he's slept with before.
What to expect from someone who is easy to get...
"..." I lowered my head and looked for the documents that Kinn said had been stored on my side for 19 years. The letters in front of me were in Thai, but my eyes were dizzy, and I felt that my brain was not working, and I couldn't read a single letter. .I don't know how much time I spent here.But I didn't even want to turn to face Kinn, the atmosphere in the room was filled with silence, quite different from the chaos of thoughts.
"Porsche...Porsche" Kinn's voice brought me back to consciousness, and I quickly picked up the file Kinn wanted, even though the file was right in front of you but my eyes were completely blind.
"Uh..." I put the file on his desk, "It's nothing, I'm leaving." I said calmly, my hand was about to withdraw from the file, but I had to stop, just at Kinn I raised my head to meet him, who was staring at me, as thick hands grabbed me hastily.
"...I'm very tired recently." He thought for a while before saying that sentence. I asked him to hold my hand tightly. I don't know what he wanted to convey. It was supposed to be a feeling of happiness, but the result was not. Comfortable until I don't know what to do so I just let him hold my hand like this I'm waiting for what he says next Now that you're tired, what are you tired about?I spend most of my time with him and I don't see anything to worry about, other than the fact that I found his phone, but to me it's not a big deal or something to think about, other than...
knock knock knock knock
"KhunKinn, there are guests who want to see you..." the voice of the bodyguard in front of the room knocked on the door and said, Kinn let go of my hand quickly, so I had to follow the opened door and look over, a new person came in up.
When my eyes fell on a familiar figure and face, my heart trembled for a moment. Kinn's action just now made my chest flash. Seeing the person who came in, he quickly pulled back his hand and made a gesture. The answer I was looking for became clearer in my mind bit by bit..
"Kinn, Tawan brought you a British souvenir." A sweet face smiled at Kinn who was sitting stiffly, squinting at me.
Tawan...Kinn's ex-boyfriend, he's back?So, is that why he's acting weird these days?I stood silently again, the atmosphere around him was unclear, both melancholy and heartbroken, making me almost not want to be here, I turned my head to look at the man named Tawan. , and clearly saw a good-looking face, not surprising that he used to be Kinn's ex-boyfriend, a handsome face with a sweet side, elegant personality, looks very suitable for Kinn.
"Tawan...is here to disturb Kinn?" Even the tone of speaking looks so good, the tone is so gentle, when I used to think that Kinn might have a heart or feelings for me, so that I wanted to punch myself hard head.
Because I have nothing to compare him to, nothing at all.
"Thank you" Kinn, who was silent for a long time, stood up from the chair, walked towards the sun, and took the items in his hands. I watched every movement from behind, and Tawan also looked very nervous when he saw Kinn. Kinn dared not even make eye contact with him, or look directly at him.
But the feeling of the two of them is familiar. Looking at their eyes, the two are very familiar. Tawan watched every movement of Kinn. Kinn seemed to be trying to maintain his emotions. I immediately realized that he still had a lot of love for the person in front of him. otherwise, it wouldn't behave so wrongly.
Judging from the intimacy of these two people, they seem to have disappeared into a different dimension, making me feel like a very redundant person... Tawan sat down on the sofa at the invitation of Kinn, and Kinn sat next to him, But the distance was quite far, and he didn't look back at me again. , the room was spacious, but it didn't seem like there was even room for me to stand.
Understand that enduring everything that happened until exhausted is now, I really hate that I am so weak, there is a feeling deep inside, weak to the point of breaking apart bit by bit, damn it! ! !Why did I become like this?
"Can Tawan talk to Kinn?" Tawan looks at me out of the corner of his eye, further reinforcing that I'm redundant and I want to get out of here, but I can't move my legs.
"...What's the matter?" Kinn was silent for a moment, making a gesture to turn his head to look at me, but he didn't look, and asked Tawan back like this.
I thought this was not my place anymore, hurt was the only word that entered my heart, but, if Kinn turned around and chased me straight away, wouldn't it be more painful... Sigh, just thinking about it makes my heart fall from a height It generally sank, and if that was the case, I'm afraid I couldn't bear it at all.
"It's Tawan..."
Quickly!The sound of opening the door quickly spread into the room, attracting everyone's attention, and Tankun walked in frowning.
"Why are you here?" A loud noise broke the oppressive atmosphere in the room.
"Kun..." Tawan stood up from the sofa, and gave Tankun a forced smile, Tankun kept cursing, almost beyond words.
"Kinn, why did you let him in?" Tankun was still yelling rudely in front of Tawan, making his smile start to fade.
"Kun, don't do this,... you leave first." Kinn grabbed his arm to calm Tankun down.
"Kun, I have a gift for you." It could be seen that Tawan was trying to be kind to the tiger, but a tiger like Tankun brushed the bags away from Sun's hands, causing them to scatter on the ground.
"Kun!" Kinn yelled at his brother so hard that I had to frown at him, like I said, he still has feelings for Tawan, that's why he became so distraught.
"What, why did you talk to him? And why did you come back? What did you do to my brother..." Tankun was so angry that he wanted to rush towards Tawan, Kinn quickly blocked Tankun, turned around and called me who was standing.
"Porsche, take Tankun out." A voice sounded in the room, and I froze for a moment, feeling an unprecedented sense of sadness welling up in my heart.Even though he didn't kick me out straight away, he still yelled at me to get out of the room, I don't know what I've done in this room
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