lonely patient

I fainted downstairs at Wen Luming's house and was taken to the hospital by the driver.

My body has grown old and worn out since we parted ways. No wonder he gets bored and likes someone younger and fresher.

The wedding invitation in my pocket was crumpled by me. I took it out and unfolded it, smoothed out the creases one by one, and masochistically read it over and over again.

Only such sharp pain can prove that I am still alive, otherwise I don't know what else can support me to get through a new day.

I can't seem to hold on anymore.

Once the idea of ​​giving up appears, it will often engulf people in an instant like a surging tide.

I can't seem to hold on anymore.

"Wen Luming..." I looked at the name on the piece of paper, a tear fell from the corner of my eye, and I muttered to myself, "I can't hold on anymore."

When I got the report from the doctor and saw the word malignant tumor on it, my first reaction was not fear, but relief, and I even smiled unconsciously.

"Is this what cancer means?" I asked the doctor.

No wonder I always have stomach pains and vomiting, and can’t eat. I thought it was a side effect of taking medicine, but it turned out that my body was warning me.

"Don't worry, modern medicine is so advanced, the cure rate of gastric cancer is still very high. What's more, if you find it early, the cancer cells have not fully spread. Actively cooperate with the treatment, and there is a high probability of recovery." The doctor comforted me.

I didn't listen to what he said, and looked at the report card and asked to myself: "Stomach cancer... I heard it seems to be very painful. If I give up the treatment, how long can I live?"

"Mr. Yan..." The doctor obviously didn't approve of my attitude, frowned and said, "We don't recommend patients to give up treatment."

"You answer me first, and I didn't say I was really dead." I looked up at him with sincere eyes.

Seeing me like this, the doctor had no choice but to say: "It depends on your physical fitness, it may be a year, or it may be a month."

"One year...is too long."

Thinking of such a life of depression and pain day after day makes me feel uncomfortable even a day.

"I see." I stood up with the case in hand, "Let me think about it again."

"Mr. Yan!" The doctor said anxiously, "Tumor treatment can't be delayed for a day, so don't play with your life."

I smiled at him, "You also said it was my own life."

I went back to the ward, and Luna came in with her face sullen and silent.She rushed back yesterday after dealing with the matter over there, and brought me medicine by the way.

"Don't tell my brother," I said, "and don't tell anyone else."

Luna was silent for a long time, and finally couldn't help but speak: "Yan Qiao..."

I turned around and interrupted her lightly: "I know what you want to say, but let me be quiet now, please?"

Luna opened her mouth, but finally swallowed her words and said, "Okay."

After she left, I threw the case into the drawer and closed it, lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling in a daze.

I still didn't have the real feeling that I was seriously ill. I put my hands on my stomach and pressed it, and my stomach started to hurt as if I had been hinted.

How much can it hurt... I can't help but think.At least it doesn't bother me now.

There was a knock on the door, and I thought it was the doctor who ignored it.

People from outside opened the door and came in. I looked over, but no matter what, I never thought that Wen Luming would come to see me. ——There was no change when he and I left, as if we had just parted yesterday.

My breathing was stagnant, and my mind went blank when I watched him approach, until my body reacted before consciousness, and my stomach felt like suddenly remembering that I was sick, and I was caught off guard by a sharp colic.

I frowned in pain, had to look away, and said calmly, "Professor Wen... Long time no see. Why are you here?"

"Xia Yi said you fainted downstairs." Wen Luming said straight to the point without exchanging polite greetings with me.

"Why didn't you tell me when you came back?" he asked.

What do you say?I thought, say I saw your invitation card break down emotionally, fly back overnight regardless, and make a fool of yourself in front of your soon-to-be-married lover?

Or is it that I broke my promise and promised not to appear in front of you again, but I brazenly tried to disturb your life?

Seeing that I didn't answer, he frowned and asked, "What's wrong with you, why did you faint? Xia Yi said you didn't look well."

... It was Xia Yi again.

"What do you believe in what he says?" I looked up at Wen Luming, my stomach cramping, "You know I'm anemic, isn't it strange that I fainted from anemia?"

Wen Luming didn't speak, and looked at the head of the bed unintentionally, and then I remembered that the invitation card was still there.It's just that it's a bunch of red waste paper now, and its original appearance can't be seen.

"I heard that you are getting married. Congratulations." I pulled the corners of my mouth, wanted to laugh but my nose was sour, "The wedding... when is the wedding scheduled?"

After asking, remembering what was written on the invitation card, Wen Luming was silent for a moment, but still answered me: "Early September."

Early September... don't know if I'm still around.

It's better not to be here, so that I don't have to face it, and lie to myself that Lu Ming is not in love with others until I die.

But I imagined him wearing a black suit, holding another person's hand and walking on the red carpet, and I couldn't hold back the red eyes.

"Wen Luming, you...why did you suddenly want to marry someone else? Is it to take revenge on me?" I clenched the bed sheet in my hand, trying to calm my voice, "If it was to take revenge on me, I know I was wrong, and I will be punished." For punishment, can you...forgive me once and don't get married..."

I know my request is unreasonable, but I really can't convince myself to accept it.

I sat up and grabbed the corner of Wen Luming's clothes, holding on to the last hope like a dying person, choked up and said, "Can you not get married..."

"Yan Qiao," Wen Luming seemed to be touched, and pressed my hand lightly, "My marriage has nothing to do with you."

It has nothing to do with me...?

Something hard touched my skin, I lowered my head and saw the silver ring on Wen Luming's ring finger.

"Xia Yi and I... are already married." He said, "I'm sorry."

married……?Is it...the meaning of having gone through the procedure and becoming a legal partner?

I slowly let go of my hand, as if I couldn't understand these words, I looked at Wen Luming in a daze, "Why..."

Why don't you want me if you don't want me, don't even leave me a little room.

There was something in Wen Luming's eyes that I couldn't understand, and he shook his head lightly, and said, "It's you who said to give up."

Yes, I remember, I said give up.

I ended up with nothing, and it was all my own fault.

"But," I obviously didn't want to cry, but the tears still fell, "I love you too..."

Hearing this sentence, Wen Luming was stunned for a moment, then lightly raised the corners of his lips as if mocking himself, and said softly: "There are so many people who cannot love you."

The first time I clearly said that I love him, I got such an answer.

——There are so many people who can't love, why can't you have one more?

A fishy sweetness suddenly surged in my throat, I pushed him away and stumbled into the toilet, locked the door and lay down by the sink and vomited violently, vomiting blood from my stomach for the first time.

Looking at the bright red blood stains on the white ceramics, I am finally willing to believe that I am really sick this time.

Wen Luming followed and knocked on the door outside, his tone could not hide his eagerness: "Yan Qiao! What's wrong with you?"

I was so weak that I barely stood up on the sink, turned on the faucet to wash away the filth, took another handful of water to wash away the marks on my mouth, opened the door, and said, "I'm fine."

Wen Luming didn't believe it at all, there was even faint anger in his voice, he grabbed me and asked, "What's wrong with you? Is there something you're hiding from me?"

I find it ridiculous.

Didn't you want me, and now you come to ask me what to do?

"I said I'm dying, will you divorce and stay with me?" I asked with a half-smile.

Wen Luming was stunned and didn't speak.

"...Just kidding." I broke away from him and smiled self-deprecatingly, "I don't do immoral things that destroy other people's families."

Wen Luming seemed to be angry, frowned, and said, "Don't make such a joke."

Maybe this is my retribution. I told so many lies to deceive him, and occasionally told the truth, he will no longer believe it.

"Understood, Professor Wen." I went back to the bed and lay down on my own, wrapped the quilt tightly and curled up, "I'm going to rest."

"Are... are you really okay?" Wen Luming finally asked worriedly.

"It's okay." I shook my head, and my eyes fell on his fingertips. "The ring is beautiful, but I won't go to the wedding..."

"I wish you happiness."