Love you as life

.Her complexion was good, her face was rosy, bright and cheerful.

"Me? Come to you?" She stared at me, "Why did I come to you?"

"Come to me, let me open the door, let me change into your pajamas, and then help you to bed." I looked at her without blinking.

"You change into my pajamas? Hahaha, how could I!" She laughed loudly, and her face began to turn red and turn pale under my gaze.

"Yes, you want me to change your clothes."

"You...I...Why don't I have any impression?" She was embarrassed and didn't know how to say it.

"I didn't bully you." I stared at her and smiled.

"Why do you look at me like that? As if I bullied you!" She was annoyed, "I never 'bullied' you!" Her face was flushed.

Yes, I've always been the one who "bullied" you, but you did "bully" me last night, and you "bullied" me very badly and in embarrassment.

"Well, you just came to my place sleepwalking in a daze, and then slept peacefully and soundly here. Didn't you?" I said.

"Oh...how could I be so confused? Although I usually sleepwalk, it's not so outrageous..." She sighed in wonder, but her face was flushed. "Shall we... visit now?" She looked at me a little embarrassed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I can't go. Yesterday my brother called and said something happened at home. I'll see if I can take the evening flight back later." I was too tired and confused, and I really needed to be alone time.I am even more afraid to stay with her. I overestimate myself. In fact, not only can I not help her, but I will also make a mess of myself.

"Oh..." Her eyes became blank, just like when she appeared at my door last night.

"Xiaoling, consider my suggestion yesterday, okay? I hope you are happy, I want you to be happy." I stared at her.

"..." She moved her mouth, but did not speak, tears dimmed her eyes.Then she walked quickly to the door, turned around and said, "Thank you for visiting me. Thank you for visiting." She said the word "visiting" very harshly.

With the sound of her closing the door, I fell heavily on the bed, and two lines of tears quickly slid down.

Xiaoling can't remember everything about last night, and her condition is worse than I imagined.The embarrassment brought about by last night's absurdity gradually weakened, and I couldn't be angry with her anymore, she was too depressed, and her psychological load deformed her.What I am angry with is myself, why do I react when I am angry, why do I feel, I am completely awake.Rather than saying that she "bullied" me, it is better to say that I did not think well and acted improperly.

I don't intend to stay any longer, I decided not to listen to Xiao Ling's "reminder", I want to see her husband.She "had" to see a doctor, she was no longer just a depression problem.

I made an appointment to meet him this evening, in the bar of my new hotel.

This handsome, tall and well-mannered man arrived as scheduled.After introducing myself, I confessed my worries to him directly, and of course I concealed my past with Xiaoling and our relationship.I said that Xiaoling suffered from depression, and she hid it from all her relatives because she was worried about her family's worries, saying that she was under a lot of pressure, had emotional disorders, and needed to see a doctor.Said that she herself was very resistant to seeing a doctor, and it might be better for him to intervene.

I didn't expect this man to be surprisingly calm, which surprised me a lot.After a long silence, he spoke:

"Thank you. I know that. A long time ago."

I looked at him in surprise.

"I've never been inside her. Oh, shall we have a coffee first?" he said, and I could tell he wanted to smoke but didn't think it was appropriate.

"Okay. Waiter—two cups of coffee, please." I waved to the bar.

Frowning, he gulped down the bitterest coffee until he had finished the whole cup.

"I chased her for four years, and she accepted me after graduating from college, and I became the happiest man in the world." He leaned his head back on the sofa. "I'm very satisfied, very satisfied. I found out later that I didn't understand her at all, and she didn't let me understand. I thought that a woman's heart is like a needle in the sea, and it's normal not to be able to see clearly. I don't care about the elusiveness at all, and I even think it's very interesting, and I'm fascinated by her mystery." He snorted, with a self-deprecating smile from the corner of his mouth. "Later, I felt something was wrong. I always felt that she was living in another world. She was intoxicated for no reason, and she shed tears for no reason. I asked her no matter what, and tried every means to trick me. I'm not so stupid I can't tell that the closest people around me are out of their minds, sometimes charming and charming and crying alone. I don't know what happened, or what happened in the past, I just want to tolerate her as much as possible, care about her, and hope that those things that affect her will slowly Dilute. I have worked hard for ten years, all in vain. I have also had a thorough talk with her, she just wants to avoid the most fundamental issues. I said that if she thinks we are not suitable, or if she doesn’t like me, I can talk to her Divorce, let her find her own happiness, but she didn't want to, saying that I was overthinking, she didn't have such a thing at all, she thought it was very good. She lived a very hard life, and I was also very tired. Later I I thought, maybe she will take her mind back when she has a child. She has never wanted a child. I didn’t expect that she would agree as soon as I brought it up this time. I was thinking, this problem should be solved slowly. Yes. Who knows that the child is a little older. After three or four years old, she changed back to her previous appearance, and it became more serious. I often worry about when she will collapse, and I suggest her to see a doctor. She said that I look down on her and dislike her. Seeing her heartbroken, I couldn't bear to mention this matter again. After that, she became very suspicious, sometimes hostile to me, and guarded against me. Waiter—have another cup of coffee!" He closed eyes on the sofa.

I lowered my head and drank my coffee with a heavy heart, as if I was responsible for the misfortune and pain of this man in front of me.

"I'm so tired, so tired. I found another woman. At first it was to vent my depression, but then I developed a relationship. I had an extramarital affair." He picked up the coffee, and this time he took a sip slowly Swallow slowly. "It was only later that I found out that Xiaoling knew about the fact that I had a woman outside, and she knew it from the beginning." He swallowed again suddenly, "It doesn't matter to her, she is not jealous at all! Very happy! My heart has never been so painful, and she doesn't care at all! She has never loved me, I have loved her for more than ten years, and I have worked hard for more than ten years, but I have never entered her heart! I am a stranger Man, you're an idiot!" He threw his head back and finished his coffee again. "Sorry, I'm so excited." He waved at me.

"It's okay." I looked at his painful expression, speechless.

"She confessed to me that she doesn't interfere in my affairs, but she must maintain the appearance of a loving couple in a harmonious family in front of outsiders. She cares about face, and she only wants face." He kept nodding his head, "I promise her, I will The woman I loved, the mother of my daughter, this fragile but strong woman who is unwilling to face the disease."

He buried his face between his hands, and I saw the tears he quickly wiped away.I know that this man is still in love with Xiao Ling.

"I'm sorry," I said, not sure if I felt I had "broken" his marriage or if I was sorry for causing him grief.

"It's okay, it's okay." He raised his head and rested his chin with his hands. "Thank you. You have observed carefully. Maybe women can understand women's hearts better. I didn't expect her condition to be so serious. I will talk to her and persuade her when I go back."

"..." I wanted to say that if Xiao Ling didn't accept it, she would be sent to the hospital forcibly, but I couldn't say that.

"Don't worry, as an old classmate, you can be so hardworking, and I, a husband, won't ignore me." He understood what I meant, but when he said the word "husband", the corner of his mouth showed a smile again. A self-deprecating and painful smile.

This couple, an excellent woman and an equally excellent man, have concluded such an unfortunate marriage. They both have successful careers and are the backbone of society, but they are both tortured by their personal lives and consume too much energy. energy.Why?Why?Is career more important or personal life more important?Which is the basis?Which is sublimation?I dare not draw conclusions.But I am very clear: If God does not keep the abandonment, there will be no "absence".Without "home", there is no "home".Without "home", there is no "karma".Without "family" and "business", there will be no strong country.And how to make the "god" guard the "sacrifice", every life should be different...

[-]. Above the waves, under the setting sun

After getting off the plane, I didn't go home right away. I got on the bus to the city where Guo Chun and Jingjing were located.

Xiaoling and I are homosexuals. We met when we were 12 years old and we graduated from university.

My parents kicked me out of the house when they found out about our relationship.

She couldn't bear the strong psychological pressure, left me and got married.

In pain and despair, I left my family and friends and went to a remote mountain village to work as a tutor.

I am in love with my student who is 17 years younger than me.

After my affair with my students was found out, I was forced to leave and suffered from depression.

I went back to my hometown, which is the six years you know.

Xiaoling has never been able to come out of the past, she has been living in girlhood.

She wants to go back to the past with me, without affecting her real life.

My relationship with her was over and she couldn't accept my "betrayal of the heart".

She is so strong, armed with various external honors, her mental state is very dangerous.

She needs a listener, someone who can let her release the pain that has been accumulated for a dozen or 20 years, but that person cannot be me.

No one except me and my family knew she was gay, no one except me and her husband knew she was depressed, not only was she depressed, she was almost insane.

I tried hard, but it didn't work. I longed for someone to help her. She couldn't be destroyed, even if it was destroyed by herself.

I implore you, our best friends, to help her, let her help her without knowing, help her without knowing, help her without mentioning me... …

With my back to them, I stood on the window sill and burst into tears.

Silence, silence, silence, deathly silence my friend.

I turned and looked directly at them, disappointed.They watched me silently, eyes full of sadness and tears.

"Wen Qing, don't misunderstand." Guo Chun said, "We are just too shocked and feel too sorry for you, you are too stupid..."

"Yeah, Wenqing, don't worry, we will definitely help Xiaoling, so don't think too much." Jingjing said.

"Thank you, thank you..." I bit my lip and broke down in tears.

"Wen Qing, we will always be best friends." Guo Chun came over and hugged my shoulder.

After ** at Guo Chun's house, I went home, very tired and relaxed, and I let go of everything about Xiaoling.It also let go of the heaviness and depression.

Leave the door early in the morning and arrive home at noon.When my sister-in-law knew that I was back, she also brought the children over to have lunch together. After a lot of fun, everyone went to play their own things.When I returned to my room, I was surprised to see that there were chrysanthemums on my desk, window sill, and bedside table, with warm and clear colors and simple and strong fragrance.

"Welcome back." My sister-in-law smiled mischievously at me, a heart-warming smile.

"Well, it's great to have an older brother. You can marry me a good sister-in-law." I said.

"You are beautiful! How are you? Has the matter been dealt with?"

"I can not do anything."

"Just try your best, as long as you don't get hurt." The sister-in-law smiled forgivingly.

I was hurt, badly hurt.

"Wenqing, are you okay? Did Xiaoling hurt you?" Seeing that I didn't say anything, my sister-in-law took my hand and asked.

"No. I'm tired just thinking about her." I forced a smile.

"Okay, I won't mention her in the future, just wait for your happy life!" My sister-in-law smiled happily, as if she had already seen my happy life. "I'm tired from the journey, have a good sleep, huh?" My sister-in-law patted my head, turned and walked out the door.

My sister-in-law's words reminded me of that night again. When I think of that night, I want to burst with hatred. The feeling is too bad: I was raped brutally, but I got pleasure from being fucked, and I fucked afterwards Those who say she has no memory, I am the only one who bears that shame... I even want to kill myself!Being controlled by this kind of mood again, this afternoon feels like a mess.

After dinner, I plan to take a walk on the grassland and river beach by the forest to find peace again.

I haven't been here for a long time, and there is a sense of strangeness, a touch of surprise brought by the novelty, and a touch of sadness and tranquility brought by the long absence.From a distance, I saw a person standing on the river beach, which I had never met before.This mountain forest is quite large, the river is very long, and there are many beautiful scenery. This is the most remote corner, inconspicuous and not easy to be found. I have always enjoyed this piece of primitive tranquility.

The person by the river beach was facing the water with her back to me, and the shimmering light of the setting sun made her light blue back very erratic and hazy, reminding me of Luoshen floating on the river waves.

I chose another direction, where the sand gradually transitioned to the yellow mud dotted with sparse grass, which was hardened and soft by the summer sun.

I walked to the edge of the water and sat down, concentrating on the light water surface sprinkled with golden yellow.Those who enjoy water are wise, I am not a wise man, and I am very unwise these days.Leshan is benevolent, am I a benevolent man?Hehe, I am a benevolent person, I am too "benevolent", I am a veritable "woman of benevolence", not only can't get things done, but also make a mess of things.

Suddenly I heard the slight sound of stepping on the fine sand, followed the sound and turned my head to look, and saw "Luo Shen" walking towards me from a distance, elegant and light.I stood up unconsciously.

As she approached, I began to shiver, my blood rushed from the soles of my feet to my forehead like a hot magma, my eyes began to swell and blur, I felt that I couldn't stand still, and my eyes were dark.

She rushed over and hugged me, but I still fell down.I close my eyes and inhale vigorously.A hand landed on my chest and it hugged me.I don't know how long it took, but I felt that my body temperature was slowly cooling down, and my breathing was gradually calming down. I closed my lips tightly, and my body was still shaking.That hand has been pressing on my chest, changing from fast to slow, and another arm is under my head, there is some cool wind slowly blowing through my body, and there is a faint fragrance on my body side...

I opened my eyes, but my eyes started to heat up again, and many cool things fell on my ears, and my eyes couldn't see.The man who had been kneeling beside me removed his hand from my chest, wiped away my tears, and gently kissed my face, my eyebrows, my eyes, and my lips.

I jerk her down so suddenly that her lips are on mine, I kiss it, I kiss it, kiss it hard, I hold her down, hold her close to me, with all my might Kiss her hard.I rolled her over and pressed my whole body on top of her, and I felt my eyes on fire, very hot and hot, and my lips were on fire, just as hot.I didn't know what I was going to do, so I hugged the person under me tightly and kissed her with all my enthusiasm.

"Oh..." the person under me snorted, I looked up and found her mouth was bleeding.I stopped, gasping for breath.She looked at me intently, then suddenly lifted me off, lay on top of me, kissed me with more force than I had just now, and kissed me.We were like two red-eyed beasts biting and devouring each other, crying and laughing and moaning.Pain is so great, depression is so great, happiness is so great, it needs a breakthrough, it seems to find a breakthrough, and then release and resolve.We were frantically wrestling to release and resolve.In the end, our hair was messed up, our clothes were messed up, and the two of us lay on the beach panting.Then hug each other tightly and start a new round of biting.

"An'an." I burst into tears.

"Wen Qing." She burst into tears.

"An An."

"hipster."

We have been lying on the ground, have been calling each other's name, wipe each other's tears.The soft soil accumulates the residual heat of the sun, making it warm.There was a cool breeze blowing from the surface of the water, which was cool.The body in his arms exudes heat and is soft.The eyes of the person who rests on the arm are shining, clean and bright.Is this a July night?When was this dream?

It was dark at some point in the sky, and it was completely dark.Ann pulled me up.

"An'an, what's wrong?" I held her hands tightly.

"It's time for us to go home." An'an touched my face.

"Go home? Which home should I go to?" I was a little confused.

"Go back to your house." An comforted my hair.

"Oh, go back to my house..." I walked forward with her holding hands as if I was sleepwalking.

"I don't want it, don't go home!" Turning off the main road, bright lights rushed over me suddenly, I stood still and hugged An An tightly.

"Wen Qing, Wen Qing..." An An cried, her body shaking.I pulled her to a dark place, and I didn't know how to hold her to embed her in my body, completely turning her into my flesh and blood, and never separated again.

An An pulled me up again, pulled my arm and let me walk next to her under the street light: "Wen Qing, I'm going home, if you don't go home, I will..."

I was shaken all over, tears were streaming down my face, and my hands and feet were cold for a while.

"Wen Qing, Wen Qing!" An An immediately hugged me tightly, "Wen Qing, you are too tired, you are too tired!" She cried, "You have to go home and rest, tomorrow to see me."

"What about you? Are you going home with me?"

"I can't go home with you." The heat on her mouth hugged my ears, "I'll wait for you at 'First Love' tomorrow, okay?"

"Well, the first love, well, good."

"I'll accompany you back first, and I'll go to sleep as soon as I get back. You have to be good, huh?" She told me to stand still, touched the corner of my mouth, and pulled me to continue walking.

I listened to her and I felt like I was going to collapse.

When she got to my door, she saw me open the door, she turned around and ran away quickly.I fell into the arms of my mother who rushed to the door.

1. Waiting for your arrival ([-])

This sleep was very deep and long, and I haven't slept so soundly for a long time.It was so refreshing after waking up, I just stayed on the bed without moving, looking out the window at the bright sky.The sky was very blue, and the old banyan tree in the party school outside the yard had green thin leaves hanging down at the corner of the window, and a few strands of roots hung down long, silently above my window.Oh my goodness.There is also a bouquet of flowers on the window, no, it is on the desk by the window, it is a chrysanthemum, and there are a few slender petals scattered on the table and the window sill, did they fall last night?Did it fall while I was dreaming?

I remember when I was young,

You love to chat and I love to laugh.

Once sitting side by side under the peach tree,

The wind is blowing in the forest and the birds are calling.

Somehow we fell asleep,

How much do you know about flowers falling in your dreams...

It's the falling flowers in a dream, it's nice to be young, love to chat, laugh and dream.Today is Sunday, right?Sunday morning is the most comfortable. I sleep until I wake up naturally, and I can lie on the bed for a long time, until my mother rushed in angrily and scolded: "Sleep ghost! Get up! I finally hoped to ask you for a favor on Sunday, but in Sleep in here! Wake up! It's your turn to mop this week!"

Why hasn't mom come yet?Well, today is Wen Jing mopping the floor, right?Also, Wen Jing cooks...

"Wen Qing, are you awake?" Mom's surprised voice.

Why didn't my mother scold me?I turned around and was taken aback:

"Mom! Why do you have white hair?"

"Silly daughter, mom is almost 70 years old, of course she has gray hair!" After my mother finished speaking, she suddenly stood by my bed.

"Wen Qing!" Mom called me in a trembling voice.

"Huh? Mom, what's wrong with you?" I sat up.

"Wenqing..." Mom threw herself on the bed and hugged me.My mother hugged me so tightly, it hurt me so much.

"Mom, what's the matter?" I was shocked to see my mother, "Mom—" I broke away from my mother's arms.

Mom looked at me in horror.

"Mom, what's the matter? What are you afraid of?" I looked at my mother in surprise.

"Wen Qing, are you... all right?" Mom stared at me.

"Me? I'm fine." I breathed a sigh of relief, "I'm hungry, very hungry! I seem to have slept for a long time, and I slept very soundly! It feels great!" I happily pulled my mother hands to get up.

"Wen Qing, don't you really know that my mother has white hair?" My mother still looked at me without blinking.

"Of course I know, I'm already 40 years old, you must have gray hair." I kissed her on the face.

"Then you just..."

"What happened to me just now?"

"You ask me why I have gray hair..."

"Oh, just now..." I realized that I was really sleepy, and there was such a time dislocation. "Oh, mom, I haven't had such a good sleep for many years. I feel carefree after waking up, just like when I was in middle school, I thought I was still a middle school student!" I laughed, " I was wondering why you didn't come in and grabbed me and mopped the floor, but you came in. Hahaha, I haven't fully woken up yet!" I smiled happily.

"You bastard! You scared me to death! I really thought you were stupid!" Mom squeezed my leg "hardly".

"Ah—" I yelled like killing a pig.

"Okay, okay, let's get up and eat. Do you know what time it is?" Mom stood up with me.

"Well, it should be ten o'clock?" I looked up at the sky.

"Okay, you go and see the clock." Mom drove me to the big clock in the living room.A quarter past three!I stared for a long time. "Hey hey, I didn't expect me to be so capable!"

"Okay, go wash your face and brush your teeth, I'll heat up the food now." Mom stopped joking with me.

"Well, good." I went into the bathroom, wondering why I was so energetic in the mirror, my face was still radiant, my eyes were shining, and I was happy and clear.

When I came out to eat while humming a song, my mother had already heated up the food and put it on the table. My mother also took the bowls and chopsticks and said she would eat with me.Halfway through eating, my mother asked: "Why did you sleep so well last night? Why are you so energetic today? It's like returning to the way you were when you were studying!" My mother looked at me with a smile.

Well, yes, why?I thought about it for a long time before I remembered the rippling water waves on the beach at dusk...the setting sun...the loess land...me and...An'an!

My face was hot for an instant, and then I became confused again, really?is that trueI looked at my mother uncertainly.

"When you came back last night..." Mom's eyes were very special, "There was dirt and grass on your body, and your clothes were wrinkled, as if you had fought with someone..."

"Huh?..." My face felt hot again.

"As soon as you came in, you fell limply into my arms, which frightened me. Later, I saw that you seemed to be smiling at the corners of your eyebrows, eyes and mouth, and I felt relieved." Mom's eyes swept over my face, " I think I saw a girl..."

"Oh, that's it..." I hurriedly avoided my mother's searchlight, and kept shoveling rice into my mouth, but my heart in my clothes was beating violently.

I'm only really waking up now.

2. Waiting for your arrival ([-])

I finished my meal in a panic and quickly, and went back and forth in the room a few times, not knowing what to do, my mind was still a little confused, extremely excited and confused.

I looked blankly at the bright white window, the bouquet of chrysanthemums silently under the afternoon sun.My heart skipped a beat, first love!First love!I am very upset, irritated why I am still at home, why I am not in the first love, and how long it will take to get to the first love.But it seemed that his hands and feet were trembling, he didn't know how to pack himself up, and ran there quickly.

It took me a long time to put myself in order. It seems that I have never taken so long to wash my hair and shower. It has never taken so long to get dressed and put on my shoes. They can't even get out.Actually, I didn't spend much time from finishing my meal to going out...

The street is very beautiful, but I can’t say where it’s beautiful, anyway, it’s different from the past, it’s fresher, brighter, and jumping, as if invisible clear water is flowing everywhere, clear and moist.I didn't want to take the route I used to take, but turned in the opposite direction, that is, from the farthest side along the river to Fuyu Street.This road is so long, I can walk slowly, without being too flustered and excited to turn my head or faint on the street. I must be quieter, quieter.

I walked very slowly and kept looking around on both sides of the street. It seems that I have never seen these buildings, these shops, and these alleys in such detail. I carefully looked at every clothing store, every motorcycle store, every shopping mall An electric appliance store, every small food shop, every fruit stand, every passing car, every passing pedestrian stopped and leaned against the railing by the river, looking at the river, breathing hard. The air with cool water vapor on the surface of the river...

I just dally and stop and go forward. I don’t know how much time it took. I just feel that the time and space are so long, so long that I want to call it forever, this "forever" "It makes me feel safe, happy and sweet, and it also makes me feel urgent, worried and irritable, but I am like a snail, I can't climb fast...

Finally, I came to Fuyu Street, my steps became slower and faster, and my heartbeat became faster and faster. I stopped far away from the "first love" and bought a bottle of water in a small shop next to it. Sitting by the door of the shop and drinking it one sip at a time.After drinking the water, I finally appeared on the river opposite "First Love".

The flower shop came back to life, and seemed more beautiful, more vivid, and more lively than before, as if there were many happy invisible wings flying there.There are still so many types of chrysanthemums, and the vases are still so special... After reading everything, and looking at everything many times, I set my sights on people and anxiously looked for the person I was looking for.

The flower girl wearing sunglasses was standing there, my eyes went around her angrily, she blocked my sight, why is she standing there so eye-catching and huge!There is another girl...An An...Standing quietly on one side, like a tall and straight tree bathed in sunlight in the spring field, her eyes radiate warm and enthusiastic light like the sun, filling and surrounding the whole world, Let my whole soul melt and fly away.An'an... My heart seemed to have stopped beating, my whole body felt cold, and then became extremely hot, my heart was beating violently, and even the capillaries on my face were beating like they were bursting.I couldn't look away, and I couldn't move my feet.

I watched her closely, afraid that she would disappear in the blink of an eye, she filled my world, streets, buildings, rivers, cars, pedestrians, chrysanthemums...all disappeared, only her, only her An'an, my An'an, my sun.

"Hey - why don't you come here!" Someone called me.It was the owner of Fragrant Flower Shop. I seemed to wake up from a dream, and all the extremely tense cells quieted down instantly. I walked towards her quickly as if I had met a savior.I chatted with her distractedly, and bought a lot of flowers in a hurry.Finally, I walked to the "first love" with the bouquet of flowers I bought, the bouquet of flowers that blocked my chest and could protect my heart.

An An stopped laughing, An An cried, and her eyes with small streams of clear water stared at me closely, staring intently, just like when I was five years old, just like when I was 16 years old.I looked at the most beautiful pair of clear, bright, deep and crystal eyes in the world. I wanted to laugh, but I seemed to have forgotten how to laugh. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t cry, so I just looked at her so weirdly.

"An'an." My lips were trembling.

"Wen Qing," An An took my hand.

We stood there for a long time, and An An said, "Shall we go back?"

"Yeah." I didn't think about where she said she was going back to, anyway, I followed her wherever she went.

the love i've always dreamed of

so close to me now

but what i can do

but just staring at you silently

In this city full of strangers

I picture love, day after day

Waiting and hoping in the scent of daisies

you can come

……

The music played by the flower girl, "waiting and hoping for you to come, waiting and hoping for you to come..." I muttered in my heart, why play this?She seems to be our director, who is she?The thought wandered through my mind for a moment, then disappeared, and now I have no room in my head for this...

1. Cut candles on the west window ([-])

I don't know where An'an led me. I was led by her like a lost child, and followed her happily but in a daze.

As soon as I entered the door, An An snatched the flowers from my arms and put them in the corner by the door.She turned her head and stood in front of me, just a few centimeters away from me.I stared blankly at her.Suddenly I was hugged tightly by her, my body, my head, it hurts to be squeezed by her, but I hope it hurts more, her kiss is very intense, but I hope she bites me and eats me.The energy I regained in one night turned me into a beast again.Like yesterday, we didn't untie our clothes, and we didn't touch each other's body, we didn't seem to understand this, we didn't seem to think of it, we just hugged and kissed tightly, extremely excited.We are not having sex, we are fighting, and we get the most incisive catharsis in the fight. It is not the catharsis of a certain part, but the thorough catharsis of every cell in the whole body, from body to soul.We all want to eliminate each other, we want to be eliminated at the same time, we want to release all the longing, depression, pain, longing... all these years...

We fight until each other goes limp.

"An An."

"hipster."

We only have these few words left, only these few words.We were all tired, we had no strength, we were all completely relaxed, we were unconscious, we fell asleep, like we were passed out...

When I woke up, it was already nine o'clock in the evening. I woke up hungry, so I remembered my mother. I wanted to find the phone, only to find that I forgot to bring the phone.Mom and Dad must be in a hurry, I am really an unqualified daughter.

"Mom, I ran into an old friend just now, and I forgot to tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'm sorry!" I used An'an's phone.

"Oh, you always lose everything! I will confiscate your mobile phone!" Mom was very angry.

"You're not willing." I actually acted coquettishly.

"Okay, remember to go home early!" Mom pretended to be angry and yelled at me.

After pressing the phone, I found that An An was smiling, with a meaningless smile.

"What are you laughing at?" I looked at her.

"You're a child." She was still smiling.

That's right, why did I become a child in front of you?I am 17 years older than you!

We don't want to go out, we don't want to go out a step, we don't want to ask the waiter to deliver supper, and we don't want to see any "others".As a result, I ate all the expensive food prepared in the hotel.

"An An."

"Ok?"

"An An."

"Ok?"

"An An."

"what happened?"

"It's nothing, I just wanted to call you."

"Well, you can call."

"I want to call you very loudly. I have been calling you from morning to night. Ann, Ann, Ann!" I hugged her tightly and buried my face in her hair.

"I call you every day, I call you every day in my heart. Wen Qing, Wen Qing, Wen Qing!" An An hugged me tightly and buried her face in my hair.

"Wen Qing, don't go, okay?" An An left my hug, her deep eyes