Difficult to return

The two stayed silent all the way, left the beach, and took the taxi back. Lu Mingchen's chest was relieved, and then he felt that he had overreacted.

He touched Song Shuhua's shoulder and took his hand again. Seeing that her husband did not refuse, he explained: "I think the ladyboy show is very inhumane, just like the animal show in the circus. I don't want to contribute to this industry chain. It's evil."

Song Shuhua pursed his lips, and argued: "But in fact, many performers are real transgender people, and it is their voluntary choice. The ladyboy show is for marginalized people like them who may not be as easy to integrate into society as ordinary people. A great platform to work on."

"A good job platform?" Hearing her husband's sophistry, Lu Mingchen's brain started to jump, "You call a job that exposes your breasts and legs and relies on selling your body as a good job platform?

"It's understandable to say that being poor has no choice, but when you look at these people, they're letting themselves down."

Lu Mingchen was obviously too angry, but when he thought of the scene in Queen, he couldn't deal with it rationally.He didn't want her husband to find any identification with these people, he was definitely not one of them.

Song Shuhua was also a little depressed, he had many reasons to refute, but seeing his husband like this, he naturally shut up.

Lu Mingchen has always had colored glasses on this kind of group. Although he himself is considered a minority group, it does not affect him to treat even smaller groups as abnormal. Song Shuhua has always known it.

Prejudice seems to be a part of the human heart, everyone has some, and it is difficult to change.

Essentially, the husband is the same type of man as his father.Song Guoqiang and Lu Mingchen hit it off immediately, and it was not for nothing that they valued him so much.

Song Shuhua also tried to change his father, but he paid a heavy price in blood and tears.So he gave up, no longer trying to change anyone, hiding himself in their cracks is the correct way to survive.

In fact, Lu Mingchen made a mistake.

It wasn't that he liked this country after he came to Thailand, but he was full of yearning for the country's tolerance for cross-dressing or transgender people before coming here.How much he wished that he could wear women's clothing and walk on the streets of foreign countries with his lover, without being judged by passers-by, and without receiving any strange gazes.

The first time he came to Thailand was also with Lu Mingchen, who was not his husband at that time.

Many times, he was moved by Lu Mingchen's considerate treatment, and he had the illusion that this was the person who treated him best and loved him the most in this world.Love is tolerance and patience, no matter what he looks like, the other party can accept it.

That late summer night, by the edge of Rusty Lake, the two sat together silently.The croaking of frogs has become sparse, and the crescent moon hangs in the sky, and the wind is full of tranquility and sweetness.

Song Shuhua suddenly asked: "Lu Mingchen, why do you like me?"

"...Let me think about it." Lu Mingchen really lowered his head and thought deeply.

He is a person who is good at giving answers, Song Shuhua thought, he would definitely give an impeccable answer, and he couldn't allow himself not to accept him.

But after a while, the man raised his head and looked at him blankly: "I don't know."

"..."

"I can list a lot of your advantages, but when I get to the bottom of it, it's not the reason why I want to get close to you. Maybe there is something similar to a magnetic field between people, just like the South Pole and the North Pole..."

"let's be together."

He really didn't say any reason why he couldn't refuse, but at that moment Song Shuhua suddenly felt that no reason was important anymore.

Lu Mingchen was taken aback for a moment, then said "um", and added: "...Okay, we are together."

The man speaks very hard, as if holding his hand, which is a sure and reassuring feeling, as if every word is a promise.

Soon, Song Shuhua's parents found out, his father was very satisfied, and his mother was very happy.Then, he didn't know how Lu Mingchen told his parents about this matter. The Lu family's parents didn't break down because the future daughter-in-law was a man, but accepted it very ordinaryly.Not long after, they came to City A. The two families met for a casual meal, and the parents of both sides agreed to get engaged at the end of the year.

Before the engagement, Song's father gave them a long vacation and asked them to have a good time.Lu Mingchen asked Song Shuhua for his opinion, and Song Shuhua said that he had always been yearning for Thailand.

They went to Bangkok at that stop. For several days in a row, he followed the itinerary arranged by Lu Mingchen and went to many famous Buddhist temples, royal palaces, local night markets and floating markets.Due to Lu Mingchen's repulsion, they didn't go to the elephant show, and spent more time wandering around some cultural landscapes representing local cultural characteristics.

That time they stayed in Bangkok for a week, and their next destination was Singapore, where Lu Mingchen wanted to go.

Song Shuhua hinted several times that he wanted to go to a ladyboy show, but he didn't know whether Lu Mingchen didn't understand or ignored it on purpose, so he ignored him.

On the last night before leaving, he finally couldn't bear it anymore and made this request: "I'm leaving tomorrow. I bought two tickets to Tiffany's ladyboy show. Let's go to the show tonight."

Lu Mingchen seemed very surprised: "Why do you want to go to this kind of show?"

"?" Song Shuhua was also confused, "Let's come to Thailand once."

They hadn't been together for a long time at that time, and they hadn't reached the point of expressing their dissatisfaction at will. Lu Mingchen held back for a long time before saying: "You have to go and see for yourself, I won't go... I suggest you better not go .”

"Why can't you go?" He thought his boyfriend was worried about his safety, "They are all highly commercialized and formal places, and I can still join the group..."

"...Because it's abnormal." Lu Mingchen interrupted him, "Some men want to wear women's organs and clothes, and call it beauty... Isn't this a kind of deformed aesthetic? What's the difference between breeding a cat with wrinkled skin and breeding a cat with folded ears and short legs..."

abnormal?Song Shuhua's mind was buzzing when he heard these two words, and he couldn't hear anything else.

His face turned pale immediately, his fingertips were cold, and he couldn't help trembling slightly.Seeing his boyfriend's lips constantly opening and closing, and making accusatory voices, he couldn't believe his ears, and he couldn't believe that Lu Mingchen was such a person.Every word of those who argue that these cross-dressing transgender and intersex people are perverted seems to be stabbed at him like a sharp knife.He finally knew what his real self would look like in Lu Mingchen's eyes.

He felt that something in his heart was shattering, and once again, he was almost stripped naked and stood in broad daylight.That kind of shame and anger instantly filled him, tears filled his eyes, and subconsciously flowed out.

Seeing his abnormality, Lu Mingchen stopped talking about how abnormal the ladyboy show is, and asked concerned: "What's wrong with you?"

Song Shuhua quickly wiped away the tears on his face: "It's nothing. If you don't want to go, don't go. It's not a must."

"..."

The boyfriend's tears finally softened him: "If you really want to see it, I can accompany you." Lu Mingchen brushed his forehead hair back, "I'm not blaming you, I know everyone has different views on this, I just Tell you what I think, and you don't have to agree with it."

In the end, I didn't go to the ladyboy show in Pattaya.

The next day they flew to Singapore to continue the trip.Because of this disagreement, Lu Mingchen was more considerate in the rest of the trip, and Song Shuhua didn't put on a bad face.It seems that the quarrel is just a small conflict during the trip, the kind that anyone will encounter, and it will not affect the overall experience of the trip.

But Song Shuhua knew that something had completely changed, his views on Lu Mingchen and their relationship - Lu Mingchen was not the person he wanted, and their relationship was not the intimacy he expected.

Returning to City A after the trip, Song Shuhua's mind, which was dazzled by Lu Mingchen's enthusiasm and love, finally calmed down, and began to look at this man who was very similar to his father objectively.He began to try to withdraw slowly, he knew that doing so was bad and selfish, but he also knew his own weakness, he was more afraid of being hurt than Lu Mingchen.

When he finally pulled away completely and decided to break up with Lu Mingchen, he knew another thing.

His parents were very satisfied with the smooth development of his relationship with Lu Mingchen, especially his mother.

One day at dinner, Song's father was away, and Song's mother smugly said: "You see, you listen to me and have a good time with Mingchen, right? Aren't you two doing well now? When we get engaged at the end of the year and get married next year, I will also marry you." Don't worry. If it wasn't for him, your father would still let you marry a wife and have children."

Song Shuhua was so shocked that he almost couldn't hold the bowl: "Marry a wife and have children? But my father knows that I..."

"What's wrong? No matter what, you are a man. Can't men marry wives and have children?" Seeing her son's overly frightened expression, Song's mother quickly changed her words, "That's what I said. It's not very good, I'm trying to persuade your dad to come. Hey, it's all nonsense now, as long as you and Mingchen are doing well. We will have another child in two years, so everyone can feel at ease."

Engagement is the day when the parents of the two directly discuss and decide.Before the engagement came, on December 12th of that year, Lu Mingchen took Song Shuhua to a restaurant for dinner, to a theater to watch a play, and played until night, then took him to the musical fountain in the city center.

There happened to be an unknown band singing in the square that night. I don't know if it was deliberately arranged by Lu Mingchen.At the end of the song, accompanied by the lights, the water column suddenly sprayed up. Lu Mingchen took out a ring and knelt down on one knee in front of him: "Ah Hua, are you willing to marry me?"

The water droplets from the fountain splashed on Song Shuhua's face like raindrops, warmed by his skin, and his wet cheeks seemed to be dripping with tears.

He handed Lu Mingchen his hand and said, "I am willing."

Another voice in my heart just said repeatedly: "I'm sorry."