he is afraid, he pretends

Wu Luming hadn't experienced the feeling of fever for a while.

His head was dizzy and swollen, and his whole body was limp and weak.

The feeling of familiarity and strangeness will inevitably involve some past memories.

Before he fell into a coma at the age of 17, Wu Luming's memory was very good, so good that no matter how old and trivial a trivial matter was, as long as he thought about it, he could clearly recall every detail of the trivial matter.

Many people praised his good memory, but he was very annoying.

After waking up from a coma for more than half a year, those memories that were originally as clear as polished glass suddenly became dusty.

He found that as long as he didn't deliberately recall those memories, it was like being locked in a black box and hidden in a dark corner of his mind.

He's no longer forced to face it with wide-eyed eyes, which is good.

But now I don't know if the fever is connected to the past.

When his consciousness was hazy, the black box opened, a corner of the dusty glass was wiped clean, and stood in front of him again.

In the few days when Wu Luming first arrived at the orphanage, he couldn't remember too many things because he had a fever all the time.

It was a very cold winter, the mountain was covered with heavy snow, and the orphanage located deep in the mountains had only two doctors who could treat common ailments.

Fortunately, when he and his sister went to the orphanage, his sister was carrying a small schoolbag, which contained a large dose of medicine that he often took.

He is lethargic most of the day, and sometimes wakes up a little at night after taking the medicine.

Seeing his sister's face that had lost weight, he said to him with reddened eyes and sobbing: "Brother, I'm sorry, we don't seem to be able to go home, it's all my sister's fault, my sister didn't remember where home is, I'm sorry ……what to do……"

Before being taken home by Wu Yunwen, the siblings were not named Wu, but Lin.

Lin was their father's surname, and Wu Luming didn't have the role of father in his memory.

On the contrary, Wu Lupal still had some impressions of their father, but the impression was not deep. He remembered that his work was very busy. On weekdays, their father would only leave work when the two siblings were asleep, and his father would usually have already gone to work when the two siblings woke up.

It has always been the mother who took care of them.

That winter was very cold and long, and when there were signs of spring, Wu Luming's fever gradually stopped.

He spent more time awake, and finally had the energy to observe his surroundings.

It was a very large room, but it felt extremely crowded.

Small beds are lined up side by side in a room with no frills, with only room for a pair of shoes between each bed.

The good thing is that the room is facing the sun, and the warm sunlight can shine in for several hours every day.

Wu Luming survived the drowsy spring, and was finally able to get out of bed in early summer, without asking Wu Lupal to help him bring meals back every day.

The dining hall where children in the welfare home eat is also a large room like the lounge.

In front of the round-shaped long table, children ranging from a few years old to teenagers sit face to face, with a fixed amount of meals in front of them.

There will be an egg for breakfast, but milk is not available every day.

The children were divided into three groups, and only one group of children could receive milk every day.

It is equivalent to a child, and it takes three days to drink milk once.

When Wu Luming was sick and couldn't go to the cafeteria, he didn't receive any milk. It wasn't until he started eating in the cafeteria by himself that he was assigned to one of the milk distribution groups.

However, Wu Lupal would often bring back his own milk to him. Seeing that he didn't drink it, Wu Lupal would not drink it for the time being, but locked it in a locker and gave it to him when he wanted to drink it.

One day at the beginning of summer, the topic of conversation among the children in the orphanage suddenly became the same.

"I heard that Wenwen came back. It is said that he fell and adopted a child from an adopted family. The child spent a lot of money in the hospital."

"He's really unlucky. Not long after he was adopted, the owner's family had a child."

"What's the bad luck, if I was adopted, I would definitely find a way to stay there no matter what, it must be because he is not nice to others, he is always like that."

The next morning when the topic came up, Wu Luming saw a strange face in the dining hall.

A boy with a fresh scar on his eyelid, looked a little older than him and Wu Lupalm.

Wu Luming noticed him because he had one more cake for breakfast than others.

Wu Lupal stared at the cake all morning and gulped down countless times.

The well-informed child at the orphanage said that the adoptive family who brought Wenwen back left a sum of money for Wenwen, and the cake was bought with that money, which was enough to buy Wenwen's cake for half a year.

Wu Luming was always tired due to illness, and he rarely paid attention to others.

But because Wu Lupal couldn't help looking at the cake and swallowing his saliva every morning, he wrote down the boy named Wenwen and the cake.

Midsummer in the mountains is not difficult to endure, even very short.

The weather turned cold in the blink of an eye, and the cold air made him very uncomfortable, so after meals, he and Wu Lupal would go outside to bask in the sun for half an hour before going back.

Wu Luming remembered that it was a sunny day.

Because the sun was so good, he and Wu Lupal stayed outside for half an hour longer than usual.

When we got back, the lounge was unexpectedly noisy.

Children's quarrels, life teachers' tired admonitions.

Wu Luming walked into the room and listened to the general idea.

It was the boy named Wenwen who lost the milk that was handed out today. He insisted that someone stole it, so he called the life teacher to help him search it.

The rest room was flying like cats and dogs, and several children who had their lockers checked angrily cursed at Wenwen.

Wu Luming just glanced roughly, and suddenly met a little boy with a pale face in the corner.

When the little boy saw him look, panic flashed across his face.

Wu Luming withdrew his gaze and didn't care, supported his body a little tiredly, went back to his bed and lifted the quilt, a bottle of milk was right in the middle of his bed.

A child nearby saw it and suddenly exclaimed.

"Xiao Ming, I remember it's not your group's turn to distribute milk today!"

These words immediately attracted the attention of everyone in the lounge.

Before Wu Luming opened his mouth, Wu Lupal said nervously: "It can't be my brother who took it! I've been with my brother all the time!"

Someone asked: "But I remember that your group didn't distribute milk today, so where did he get this carton of milk?"

Wu Lu Palm was young, couldn't think of a reason, blushed so anxiously, and finally could only say repeatedly: "Anyway, my brother didn't take it! My brother can't steal anything!"

What she said became more and more like sophistry.

Not long after, the life teacher came to Wu Luming's bed, picked up the bottle of milk and asked Wu Luming wearily: "Little Ming, is this your milk?"

Before Wu Luming could speak, Wenwen's voice came: "Teacher, every time I get milk, I will draw a blue five-pointed star on the bottom of the milk box."

The life teacher turned over the milk, and there was a blue five-pointed star drawn on the bottom of the milk carton.

The children around suddenly started talking.

Wu Luming didn't have a good appetite today, so he shared half of his breakfast with Wu Lupal, and now he was so tired that he just wanted to lie down and not say a word.

But he still managed to respond out loud: "I didn't take it."

At this time, a little boy's excited voice sounded in the crowd: "Why did you not take it on your bed!"

With this sound, the children around were also making noise and discussing endlessly.

Wu Luming raised his eyes to look at the child who spoke first.

It was the thin boy who saw him flustered.

He didn't want to say a word, he raised his hand and said, "He took it."

The skinny boy who was pointed at suddenly jumped up; "You! You are talking nonsense! I... If I took it, why didn't I just drink it!"

Because it was too late to drink directly.

Because after stealing, I realized that the boy named Wenwen was not easy to fool, so I regretted it again, but it was too late to return it.

There can be many reasons.

But Wu Luming was really tired, because of the noisy surroundings, his mind even started to buzz.

He opened his mouth and breathed with difficulty for a moment, and finally he couldn't say anything, and lay down on the bed.

The life teacher had obviously run out of patience by this time.

She gets up early in the morning to feed each child, and then helps the children who can't wear clothes to dress up, and then immediately prepares lunch. She really doesn't have the energy to guess whether a bottle of milk that she has found is who took it.

So she just handed the milk back to Wenwen, and said to each child ambiguously: "No matter who it is, don't steal anything again next time!"

After the life teacher left, Wu Luming saw the boy named Wenwen holding the recovered milk, and looked at him with a very interested look.

Wenwen threw the milk in his hand twice, and finally threw it to the boy who corrected Wu Luming, saying: "Thank you for your bravery in helping me correct the thief. Let this bottle of milk be my thank you gift."

The thin boy took the milk, his eyes lit up, as if he had discovered something extraordinary.

So this thing started to happen the second time, the third time...

Every time the milk appeared on Wu Luming's bed, the thin boy would jump out and be the first to accuse him, and the milk that was withdrawn in the end naturally fell into his hands.

Wu Luming didn't react too much to this, his physical condition visibly deteriorated after the cold weather.

It is even difficult for him to get up and go to the dining hall to eat sometimes, and he can't get up to argue with others about it.

After a few days, Wu Lu was angry and found that the people who were chattering were too much to argue with, and he was worried about Wu Luming's body, so he simply turned a blind eye.

This situation lasts until winter.

Children are naturally forgetful.

Because Wu Luming was in poor health, he couldn't remember the past when he came to the orphanage. Wu Lupal remembered a little, but after staying in the orphanage for a year, he could remember the names of his siblings clearly, and he forgot everything else.

After winter came, Wu Luming started to have intermittent fever again.

One night Wu Lupal lay on his bedside and whispered, "Brother, I heard from the teacher that there will be adoptive families coming tomorrow, so let's fight for it too. If you can get out and you can be admitted to the hospital, won't it be so?" Suffering?"

Probably because of good luck, the next day was a rare sunny day.

Wu Luming didn't have a fever, and when he woke up in the morning, his complexion was rosier than before.

He put on the clothes that Wu Lu Palm carefully selected for him all night, and after breakfast, the school-age child was taken to a warmly decorated room by the teacher.

There was a young man and woman with kind faces in the room.

Under the introduction of the teacher, the two greeted each child one by one with a smile.

After a few words, the husband and wife obviously have a great affection for Wu Lupalm.

Therefore, at the end of the interaction, the dialogue between the two was completely focused on Wu Lupalm.

Wu Lupalm looks better than most of the children in the orphanage, speaks softly and politely, and has the optimism and liveliness of a child.

At the end of the conversation, the couple simply asked, "Xiao Palm, would you like to live with your uncle and aunt?"

The moment Wu Lu Palm heard the words, he replied without any hesitation: "Uncle and aunt, I am willing, but no matter where I go, I must be with my brother!"

As she spoke, she pulled Wu Luming back and looked at the husband and wife with hope in their eyes.

Unlike Wu Lu Palm, Wu Lu Ming, who was only four years old and was sick all the year round, was very thin, and his skin was obviously sickly and pale.

It was obviously more difficult for him to breathe than a normal healthy child, and his whole body was obviously sick.

Therefore, when the husband and wife looked at the past, there was obvious hesitation in their eyes.

But they seemed to really like Wu Lupalm, so they didn't give an answer right away.

At this moment, the voice of a skinny little boy resounded in the room: "He's a thief! Xiao Ming is a thief!"

This voice provoked the response of several children who were originally disobedient. The remaining children just watched from the sidelines, and no one stood up to speak.

"My brother isn't!" Wu Lupal was anxious, "You are! You're the one who drinks the milk in the end!"

The thin little boy responded repeatedly: "That's what Wenwen rewarded me for helping him catch the thief! He obviously stole it!"

Listening to the noise of several children, the husband and wife looked at the teacher beside them with inquiries.

The teacher's face was a little ugly, and he couldn't speak for a while.

After all, they had heard about Wu Luming's "stealing" of milk.

Wu Lupal yelled for a long time and saw that everyone thought Wu Luming was a thief, she turned her head to look at Wu Luming who was struggling to stand up because of her physical discomfort, and immediately cried out aggrieved, and dragged Wu Luming out of the room.

She ran too fast, Wu Luming couldn't keep up, and fell over not long after leaving the room.

Wu Lu Palm stopped immediately, and looked at Wu Lu Ming nervously, "Brother, are you okay, did you fall and hurt?"

The skin on the palm of his right hand was scratched, he curled up without letting Wu Lupal see, but raised his left hand to wipe Wu Lupal's tears: "In the future, no one will say that I am a thief."

Wu Lu Palm felt aggrieved when she heard these two words, she sniffed: "How is that possible! They are all villains, they won't listen to anything!"

The two children snuggled together, Wu Luming lowered his eyes tiredly, and said softly, "Don't worry, there won't be any more."

The human heart is a bottomless pit. Once you find a method that can make you a quick profit without any burden, if you don’t restrain yourself, you will eventually be unable to escape the end of swallowing yourself.

Wu Luming didn't wait too long, and just before going to sleep, he found a brooch under his pillow.

He glanced at it under the moonlight, and at a glance he recognized it as the dean's favorite brooch.

It is not easy to enter the mountains in winter, and people who deliver food and clothing come only once every month.

Not all children in the orphanage are thrown here at birth, and many children can have things brought by their previous families.

Some are worth a little money, and the children can ask the uncle who came to deliver the food to help them sell them and exchange them for something they want.

In three days, it will be the day when the uncle will come to deliver the food.

Wu Luming put the brooch back under the pillow.

How stupid, he thought, closing his eyes, to steal and sell such a thing.

He rarely fell asleep at night, and waited until late at night before slowly getting up with the brooch, and put the brooch in the padded jacket pocket next to the thin boy's bed.

After breakfast the next morning, the life teacher suddenly closed the door and told everyone not to leave.

She said in a serious voice: "The dean lost her favorite brooch. Now the teacher is going to search everyone's pockets. The teacher doesn't want any of you to take it. If you don't take anything, don't be nervous. After the teacher finishes checking It's time to leave, now everyone sits in their seats."

Wu Luming quietly put down the tableware, and glanced at the thin boy across from him.

After stealing more than a dozen times, he has completely lost the panic he felt the first time.

This composure lasted only until he reached into his pocket, however.

Obviously touching something in his pocket, the thin boy suddenly looked at Wu Luming, his eyes widened.

Wu Luming didn't avoid his gaze, and faced him directly. After thinking for a moment, he smiled lightly at him.

The thin boy was obviously stimulated by his smile, and jumped up from his seat.

His unusual behavior instantly attracted the teacher's attention, and before he could find a place to hide the brooch in his pocket, the teacher found it out.

He turned pale, and immediately ignored Sanqi 21 and shouted: "I didn't take it! It was... Xiao Ming stole it and put it in my pocket!"

As a person with a "conviction record", the thin boy's words immediately diverted a lot of attention.

Wu Luming sat on the seat unmoved, still looking sick and tired.

He didn't speak aloud, but the life teacher's inquiry sounded first: "Why did you say it was Xiao Ming who stole it?"

The skinny boy blushed: "He...it's not the first time he has stolen something."

The life teacher didn't particularly agree with this statement, she frowned slightly and glanced at Wu Luming.

Because of poor health, Wu Luming seldom speaks.

He took several deep breaths before he seemed to gather enough strength to speak, and finally said, "If I stole it, why did I put it in your pocket?"

"Because... because you want to kill me!"

Wu Luming showed a puzzled expression, coughed twice, eyes filled with steam, and looked at the teacher and the thin boy watery: "I usually talk, and I don't even have the strength to walk, cough cough, the dean's office is so far away, I might Why would I take the risk of fainting just to hurt you when I walked over and couldn't come back?"

"Because... because." The thin boy was speechless, he was so anxious that he almost wanted to tell about the milk.

At this time, the life teacher's eyes turned around the two of them twice, and he probably knew it in his heart.

After all, the dean’s room is really far away from where the children live. It takes adults 10 minutes to walk there, and children at least double the time. Wu Luming’s poor health is well known, and it’s not easy for him to stand for 20 minutes at ordinary times. Let alone a 40-minute walk.

The emaciated boy was taken away by the teacher.

It was already afternoon when he reappeared, his eyes were red, and he stared at Wu Luming bitterly for a day.

Wu Luming ignored him.

But it doesn't mean he doesn't pay attention to him. After all, the thin boy's hatred is too obvious, and he obviously wants to do something more.

After waiting for a day, Wu Luming found a bracelet in the corner of the locker when he routinely checked the locker and all the clothes and beds around him before going to bed these two days.

He just glanced at it and didn't look again.

Still waiting for everyone to fall asleep at night, he took the bracelet out of the cabinet, instead of looking for the thin boy's cabinet, he found Wen Wen's cabinet, and put the bracelet into Wen Wen's cabinet.

Wen Wen obviously knew from the first time that the thin boy got the milk, so he purposely found out that Wu Luming stole it in the end, and rewarded the thin boy with the milk, making it clear that he wanted to watch the excitement.

Neither of the two is better than the other. Since they want to pay back, neither of them can run away.

After finishing these, he moved the milk that Wu Lu Palm had kept for a long time to his locker.

When he got up early the next day, on the way to the dining hall, he whispered a few words to Wu Lupalm.

Everything is not much different from the expected trajectory.

The one who lost the bracelet was the life teacher.

The life teacher was very angry when the orphanage threw things again and again, let alone this time it was her throwing things.

After she found out, she immediately gathered everyone in the lounge, and checked everything from clothes to cabinets.

The only thing that derailed the whole thing was that the bracelet that was supposed to appear in the writing cabinet was changed into the thin boy's cabinet.

The skinny boy was arrested again, this time struggling and protesting fiercely.

He scolded Wu Luming furiously, but before he could swear a few words, Wu Lupal suddenly overshadowed him: "Oh my god, brother! Why are there so many milks in your cabinet!"

Of course Wu Luming knew how the milk came from, and what she said now was what Wu Luming told her to say in the morning.

These words immediately attracted the attention of many people.

Wu Lupal looked at Wu Luming, and continued nervously: "Exactly 18 bottles, brother, I remember you received milk 18 times in total, why didn't you drink a bottle!"

Only then did Wu Luming speak softly, his voice was weak: "I can't drink milk, I vomit when I drink it."

Discussions arose all of a sudden, and someone asked: "You can't drink milk, what are you doing stealing milk?"

"Isn't this milk also stolen? Although I have never seen you drink milk, but..."

Wu Luming resisted the discussion, took out a bottle of milk from the cabinet, opened it and drank it.

Then almost instantly, he ran to the trash can and vomited pale.

The surrounding discussions suddenly disappeared.

Because of Wu Luming's appearance, he really vomited as if he was about to pass out in the next second.

Seeing Wu Luming like this, Wu Lupal immediately didn't care about what lines to say, and quickly ran to Wu Luming's side, anxiously said: "Brother, how are you? Why do you want to drink if you can't drink it!"

As she spoke, she couldn't help muttering in a low voice: "When did you stop drinking milk?"

After all, they secretly drank a bottle while hiding on the balcony a few nights ago, but Wu Lu Palm didn't say that.

Of course, it's not that Wu Luming can't drink milk.

He poured ice water before entering the house, and has been enduring nausea since entering the house.

Originally, he was in poor health, and no one would notice the abnormality.

What's more, most of the children present are the type who believe what they say.

He vomited for a while, until he vomited out all the contents of his stomach, and heard someone muttering in a low voice: "Then you didn't steal that milk? Then why didn't you say it?"

Wu Luming took the water handed by Wu Lupal to rinse his mouth, and replied with effort: "I said it the first time, I didn't take it."

These words reminded many people of the scene at that time, and Wu Luming pointed at the thin boy and said that he took it.

Now with the two thefts of valuables, no one will doubt the authenticity.

The boy named Wenwen was quite surprised at this moment and said, "It's always been you! So, every time you stand up and point out for the first time, and you are the one who drank my milk in the end, it is indeed very impressive. Doubt!"

These words were equivalent to a final conclusion. The thin boy was already guilty, blushing and speechless.

This time he was taken away by the teacher and did not come back at night.

Wu Luming had a fever again.

He guessed it, but the momentum of the fever was unexpectedly too strong.

After taking the medicine at night, half asleep and half awake, I suddenly caught a glimpse of a person standing by the bed.

He woke up instantly, squinted his eyes for a while, and found that it was the boy named Wenwen.

Wenwen noticed that he opened his eyes and smiled at him.

Wu Luming ignored him, closed his eyes and prepared to continue sleeping.

Wenwen said at this moment: "I know you put the bracelet in my locker."

He said in a firm tone: "You can definitely guess that I put it back in that guy's locker."

Wu Luming still ignored him.

He was very tired, his whole body was hot and weak, and his stomach was still screaming with cramps.

I don't have time and I don't want to talk to this person.

Wenwen waited for a while but still didn't get a response, and suddenly said: "I saw you and your sister drinking milk on the balcony, you are not allergic to milk at all."

Wu Luming finally reacted and looked at Wenwen vigilantly.

Wen Wen had already sat beside his bed, and the scars on his eyelids that hadn't faded were particularly distinct under the moonlight.

Wenwen seemed to be pleased by his expression, and suddenly laughed.

While smiling, he moved closer to Wu Luming, stared closely at Wu Luming's vigilant eyes, and said in a cheerful tone: "From the first time I saw you, I had a hunch that you are the same as me."

"Pretending to be docile and harmless, weak and helpless in front of everyone," he put one hand on the head of the bed, looking at Wu Luming who was clutching the quilt tightly with his head, "but in fact, since the first time I was in front of so many Since you started framing you as a thief, you already have a plan in your mind to take revenge on me, right?"

"Does it mean that every time I frame you, your plan to revenge me in your heart will become more perfect?"

Wu Luming stared closely at Wenwen's smiling face.

After a long period of silence, his hoarse, almost shapeless voice sounded: "So what?"

Wenwen looked happier.

"Of course it's different." He straightened up and pointed to the other sleeping children next to him, "Those idiots, being bullied, have always just cried and howled uselessly, once like this, Same thing a hundred times."

"In other words, 90.00% of the children in this world, and even many self-righteous adults, are the same. They are cowardly and incompetent, and they can't even take revenge."

The boy's tone was relaxed as if he was telling a joke: "Your hypocrisy, cruelty and impeccable evil are so many that people can't learn in a lifetime."

Seeing that Wu Luming hadn't responded for a long time, Wen Wen suddenly said again: "Do you know what kind of child would be abandoned here by their parents?"

He threw out a question, but he didn't seem to want Wu Luming to answer it, so he quickly answered it.

"One is intellectual disability."

"One is physical disability."

The gash on his left eye was elongated, downward like an upside-down smiling face.

Following him, he lowered his voice and spoke like a ghost.

"The remaining one is a natural monster."

Natural born monsters.

These words flashed through Wu Luming's mind, causing another spasm in his stomach.

He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened his eyes to look at Wenwen, there was no emotion in his eyes: "Don't think that if you divide me into the same category as you, I will stop revenge on you, 18 times, not less."

Wenwen seemed to hear something funny and amusing, he laughed for a while, and suddenly said: "It shouldn't be, I heard from them that when you came here, you have no memories of the past, but your sister still remembers a little .”

"It's impossible." He said in a firm tone again, "Your IQ is much higher than your sister's. How can you not remember the past?"

He didn't get a response, and he continued to say: "I even remember the picture of my mother throwing me at the gate of the orphanage when I was more than one year old. That woman is so funny, she keeps saying sorry. Disgusting and saying it for her own use I'm sorry to reduce the guilt, if three words can be worth a life, how cheap a life is."

He said that it seemed that Wu Luming didn't need any response from him.

After ridiculing, he suddenly looked at Wu Luming with that kind of interest: "I heard from the teacher that you and your sister were abducted here?"

Wu Luming still didn't speak, but this time he looked at Wenwen.

Wenwen sneered, it was clearly a childish voice, but the words were as elusive as an adult: "Do you believe this reason?"

He raised his finger and pointed to the longevity lock that fell out of Wu Luming's neck, and then pointed to the medicine on Wu Luming's bedside: "This, this...and your pile of clothes, I heard that they all came with you, God Before abducting you, which kind-hearted human trafficker would come to your house to help pack your clothes and medicines, and you didn’t sell the valuables that are so obviously hanging around your neck.”

He smiled at Wu Luming again: "You said these things look like my mother said I'm sorry when she lost me?"

After a long silence, Wu Luming finally spoke: "You are too noisy."

Wenwen couldn't help laughing again, his smile was still full of sarcasm: "Adults like to hypocritically give small favors to make up for their conscience after receiving huge benefits. You said they gave you so much, it should be throwing away a monster like you , can make a lot of money, right?"

A moment of silence: "Do you really not remember, or do you not want to remember?"

Wu Luming breathed gently, and after a long time, he retracted his gaze from Wen Wen, closed his eyes, and turned his back to him.

Wenwen said a few more words behind his back, but finally felt bored, and finally left.

After the room was quiet for a long time, Wu Luming opened his eyes again, staring at the white mosquito net in front of him.

The spasms in his stomach got worse, and his breathing became more difficult than usual.

Whether I really don't remember or don't want to remember, it doesn't matter now.

Because he really did not have any memories before coming to the orphanage.

The author has something to say:

Friends here I come!There will be about 4 chapters about Xiao Ming's past, explaining some things that have not been explained clearly before, and by the way, let everyone understand why Xiao Ming has the character he is now.

There are hundreds of words in this chapter that overlap with the previous ones, because it is a necessary plot, and I can’t skip it, but it’s okay, my friends, I will post a chapter of free extras in Zuohua

Seeing that everyone knows me better than me in the last chapter, I decided to think about it pragmatically

That's right, I can't go back years ago (hehe, hehehe)