I was on the clouds

Chi Xiangnuan tapped on the computer screen every day, his schedule was completely chaotic.

Ye Xi is accurate to every minute and every second, going to bed at ten o'clock and getting up at five o'clock, with a routine that remains unchanged for thousands of years.

As her depression got worse and worse, Ye Xi pretended to be infected with chickenpox and took sick leave from school for a long time. During this period, she had been taking antidepressant drugs, and the effect of the drugs was immediate. What was suppressed along with the disease was her freshness. breath.

If a cold, virtuous person suddenly becomes sickly and always listless, no one, however dull, will notice something.

Chi Xiangnuan, who is very sensitive to other people's emotions, immediately sensed that something was wrong, but she was helpless, and there seemed to be no other way except to make the food more delicious.

At one o'clock in the morning, Chi Xiangnuan was typing on the keyboard in the room. The night in the community was very quiet, and nothing could be heard except the sound of the keyboard and the ticking of the alarm clock.

At this moment, Chi Xiangnuan heard footsteps, she didn't pay attention at first, thinking it was Ye Xi getting up at night, but after a while, there was a loud cracking sound in the living room.

This sudden sound was particularly frightening in the silent night, Chi Xiangnuan subconsciously trembled, her typing fingers paused on the keyboard for a while, her heart was pounding.

It was only for a while, and a louder sound came through the door of the room. It seemed that a bigger object was thrown on the ground and smashed. Fry up.

Chi Xiangnuan's heart was beating violently, and she was suddenly out of breath.

She put down the computer in her hand, walked up quietly and carefully turned the doorknob to open the door, she leaned in to look through the door.

Seeing the messy living room under the dim light, the floor was covered with broken porcelain pieces, and the coffee table was also on the ground.

Standing in the mess, the tall girl was bent over, leaning on her knees and panting heavily. She seemed to find someone looking at her, and immediately raised her head. Her eyes were particularly sinister. There was a pain in Xiang Nuan's eyes.

The dim yellow light of the night light hit her face, Chi Xiangnuan saw her pale face, she overcame the timidity in her heart, ran out in a hurry, grabbed Ye Xi who was panting heavily, and pushed her down on the sofa.

"What's wrong with you?" This is the same sentence over and over again.

Ye Xi tightly held a silver paper knife in his fist, veins popped up on the back of his white hand, and red liquid remained down the palm, carrying a sinister smell.

Chi Xiangnuan desperately broke her hand, finally broke her hand and pulled the silver paper cutter out of Ye Xi's hand.

After the paper knife was pulled out, blood still flowed down the wrist, and the sleeves of the pajamas were stained with blood. Chi Xiangnuan was taken aback, and suddenly rolled up Ye Xi's sleeves, and found that there were deep wounds all over that arm. Blood oozes out.

Ye Xi's forehead was covered with cold sweat, Chi Xiangnuan ran to get tissues and a medicine box, and frantically treated the wound on Ye Xi's arm.

Only the tip of the paper cutter blade was exposed, and it cut a narrow and deep wound on Ye Xi's palm. Chi Xiangnuan held a cotton ball dipped in alcohol to disinfect with shaking hands. She was afraid of Ye Xi's pain, so she moved freely. It was much lighter, Ye Xi was just panting violently at the side, as if he couldn't feel the pain in his limbs.

As Chi Xiangnuan was treating the wound, one bad thought after another came to his mind.

The first thing that comes to mind is smoking/drugs?

Her heart hung in her throat, and she felt that the legendary drug addiction attack was a state, but after careful consideration, it seemed that it was not.

Chi Xiangnuan suddenly lost all hope in her heart. She thought about whether to call the police and send Ye Xi to a drug rehabilitation center. At that moment, she really thought a lot.

Circles and circles of gauze wrapped Ye Xi's hands tightly. At this moment, Ye Xi had calmed down, and her panting was not so serious. Now she was lazily leaning on the sofa, her eyes were empty and lost in a daze. the soul in the body.

Chi Xiangnuan cleaned up the broken glass on the ground, and Ye Xi's eyes regained some light after an hour, she opened her mouth, her voice was hoarse and dry, "Don't clean it up, sit with me for a while."

Chi Xiangnuan sat beside her silently, hugging the sofa cushions, with a serious expression: "Ye Xi, tell me the truth, are you taking drugs?".

Ye Xi looked haggard, she smiled slightly with a pale face, and shook her head: "Don't think about it, I don't take drugs."

Chi Xiangnuan hesitated to speak.

Ye Xi closed his eyes wearily: "Have you heard about bipolar disorder? I have this disease. I found out half a year ago. I ran out of medicine yesterday and I couldn't control my emotions. I hope I didn't scare you."

Chi Xiangnuan breathed a sigh of relief, as long as he wasn't taking drugs, he could say anything.

She said firmly, "Then I'll sleep with you tonight, it's too dangerous for you to be alone in this state."

Ye Xi was stunned.

After a few seconds of silence, Ye Xi chuckled: "Little fool, do you know that people with bipolar disorder are very dangerous? In other words, I am a mental patient. Have you thought about the consequences of being in the same room with a lunatic?" Do you accept the heart of the Virgin Mary properly, and don’t move yourself with those stupid kindness.”

Chi Xiangnuan was choked with anger, her face turned into a liver color, and she said loudly: "Why is it the Virgin Mary, don't you just watch you hurt yourself because you can't control yourself, you can't do it in your current state Leave you alone!".

Ye Xi's eyes narrowed slightly, and her whole body was trembling uncontrollably. Chi Xiangnuan noticed it keenly. She stared at Ye Xi with her eyes open, without flinching or compromising.

In the end, Ye Xi looked away, and said in a somewhat embarrassed way: "Then it's up to you."

Chi Xiangnuan hugged the quilt and walked into Ye Xi's bedroom with a serious face. Ye Xiping was lying on the bed with the quilt covering his chin, staring at the ceiling with eyes of different colors, not knowing what was going on in his heart.

Chi Xiangnuan was lying on the side, also lying on her back, and she suddenly said in this terribly serious atmosphere: "The mattress in your house is more comfortable than mine, how much is it? ".

Ye Xi's voice came from under the quilt: "14, my second uncle bought it, I can't remember clearly."

"Your quilt feels more comfortable than mine, that brand."

Ye Xi popped out a word, and Chi Xiangnuan grinned: "Just say the price."

"Twenty-four thousand".

Chi Xiangnuan stopped talking, she pinched Ye Xi's quilt corners with a look of heartache, after pinching a few times she ran out of bed, took her silver-gray notebook, put it on her lap and started typing.

The sound of typing on the keyboard was even, and Ye Xi, who was lying on the side, suddenly asked, "How is the novel going?".

"It's pretty good. I signed the contract when I was [-] characters. Now that I'm in V, the subscriptions have increased. I can make do with a few meals. Although the income is a little less, I saw a message from a reader saying that I like it. It’s a pleasure, it’s one of my hobbies.”

Ye Xi closed his eyes, listening to the sound of the keyboard in his ears, his tired and anxious heart slowly calmed down.

She pulled down the quilt, revealing her lower lip with deep tooth marks. She stretched out her tongue to lick the wound on her lip, and the tip of her pink tongue was stained with blood.

After finishing writing Chi Xiangnuan's novel, she closed the computer and turned her head to look at Ye Xi, just in time to see this scene, she was shocked by this scene, her eyes lingered on Ye Xi's lower lip with teeth marks.

Ye Xi stretched out the tip of his tongue to lick the wound again, Chi Xiangnuan's scalp suddenly went numb, as if a layer of frost had formed, freezing his entire scalp.

Her heart was pounding, and she subconsciously bent her legs. The computer on her lap slipped from her knees and fell on the carpet in the room.

Chi Xiangnuan lifted the quilt and ran out of bed to pick up the computer, Ye Xi looked over suspiciously, Chi Xiangnuan blushed, put the computer on the bedside table silently, and pulled the quilt down under his eyes.

Ye Xi glanced at her inexplicably, Chi Xiangnuan felt her gaze, pulled the quilt directly over his head, and buried himself in the quilt.

The inexplicable Ye Xi: "...".

Ye Xi couldn't fall asleep that night, since her mother committed suicide by her side, she couldn't tolerate another living creature besides her on the bed.

Chi Xiangnuan next to him was sleeping soundly, Ye Xi sighed looking at her face, he didn't know whether to call her childish or stupid, sleeping so reassuringly next to a manic-depressive patient.

She has no clear understanding of bipolar disorder at all, and she is full of stupidity and self-righteous kindness. Besides, her whole body is light and boneless, and her wrists can be broken when she is thin. What can she do.

Ye Xi knows how tormented it is to get along with a mental patient. It can make a person go crazy, slowly wear down your humanity, and even assimilate you, making you an out-and-out lunatic.

Now she has become exactly like her mother, and she still clearly remembers the woman's beast-like screams, sharp and vicious curses, hysterical crying, and the house that she always made a mess of. She has become completely new, the damaged places have been carefully filled by her, and the broken things have been carefully thrown away. She will always only go crazy in front of her, and maintain a beautiful appearance in front of others.

Only her daughter knows that she is a madman. When she is mad, she closes the door and does homework quietly. After she is mad, she opens the door and goes out to open the refrigerator to get some noodles to cook. She always hopes that someone will find her mother. How crazy, but her father has not been home for a long time, no one believes what she said.

No one else knows.

"Is your spirit of that day watching me who is suffering at this moment, watching me go crazy with joy, watching me go crazy with joy, watching me destroy bit by bit with great satisfaction."