lightly cooked

Xu Shuyuan said he would come back on the weekend, but he didn't make it.

Fu Jia was queuing up to bind the report when he got the news.A colleague reminded him: "Xiaojia, Xiaojia—your phone is ringing."

"……it is good."

When I came back to my senses, seeing Xu Shuyuan saying that he would not be coming back for the time being, I felt a kind of sad luck in my heart.

Yeah.

There is no way to face the upcoming things, so I can only use work to numb myself.Fu Jia, who was in the group, started rushing to do the work, and didn't go downstairs at noon, so he just ordered a takeaway to deal with it.

The mother could go home for treatment, but chose to be hospitalized for safety reasons.After get off work, Fu Jia would go over to accompany her to bed, and would not go back if it was too late, and would spend the night in the hospital.

Business remains in full swing Wed.During the lunch break, Fu Jia received a text message from Sister Wang asking him what he would like to have for dinner, she did and took him to the hospital.He said he could eat anything, but he had no appetite at all.

Trivial things were the most distracting. He was so busy all afternoon that he found a break after five o'clock to catch his breath and lay down on the table for a while.Not long after, the table was suddenly knocked twice.

knock --

He raised his head, still not daring to confirm for a moment.

It's Xu Shuyuan.

The setting sun came in from outside, Xu Shuyuan looked tired, stared at him intently and smiled: "Are you lazy?"

Such a gentle and deep tone, as if I haven't heard it for a century.Fu Jia's heart suddenly became sour, and she forgot to stand up.The colleague next to him has noticed: "Shuyuan? I haven't seen you for a long time, and you just came back from a business trip?"

"Ah."

Just arrived in Linjiang an hour ago.

"Wait, I'll mop a chair for you."

"No need," Xu Shuyuan said, "I'll stand for a while."

Fu Jia came to his senses, and quickly got up with lowered eyes: "Manager Xu, please sit down."

"No, you sit down."

"You sit down." He moved his eyes and took a small step to the side. He didn't notice that he stepped on the foot of the chair next to him and almost lost his balance.Fortunately, Xu Shuyuan helped him, "Be careful."

There is still a feeling of electric shock at the moment of physical contact.

Fu Jia lowered her head and hurriedly stood firm: "Thank you."

Xu Shuyuan didn't intend to avoid suspicion, so he took Fu Jia's seat.There are old acquaintances on the front, back, left, and right sides, and everyone asks each other: "How many stars do you live there?"

"There is no star rating," he smiled, "I live in a guest house."

The other party snorted: "It's really good, how about eating normally?"

"One dish, one soup."

"I've been to that place, and I'm still embarrassed to think about it now. The food made in their cafeteria...you can eat bugs at every turn!"

"Just treat it as an extra meal, high protein, Shuyuan, don't you think so?"

For a while, Fu Jia couldn't get in, so she quietly stared at Xu Shuyuan.Xu Shuyuan was talking to everyone, and he seemed to feel something for a while, and the two eyes collided silently.

They probably stared at each other for a while.

Feeling really miserable, Fu Jia turned around and walked to the bathroom.Halfway there was a place for storing sundries, the door was ajar, someone caught up and pulled him in.

He exclaimed.

The inside is small and dark, and there are printed cardboard boxes stacked more than one meter high in the corner.Xu Shuyuan pushed him against the door and covered his mouth: "It's me."

The voice is full of longing.

Xu Shuyuan looked at the person in front of him quietly, Fu Jia's eyes were full of panic, and he struggled to pull his hand out, "Don't—"

"I want to give you a surprise, it seems to be frightened." Xu Shuyuan let go of his hand, "Aren't you happy that I'm back?"

Fu Jia looked at him for two seconds and then looked away: "No, it's just that I've been busy all day today, so I can't cheer up."

The white walls were reflected in his eyes, he was powerless even to lie, and his face was flushed with discomfort.

The voice fell, and someone touched his forehead.

"It's so hot, is it sick?"

"It's just a little hot." Fu Jiagu talked about him, "How long will you stay this time?"

"Leave tonight."

"what?"

Xu Shuyuan touched Fu Jia's face with his right hand: "I didn't ask the boss for leave, I bought a sleeper at ten o'clock tonight, and I will arrive early tomorrow morning."

Running all the way back to see each other is not in line with his prudent style.Fu Jia's eyes lost focus: "Then I won't go to work in the afternoon, I will accompany you and take you to the train station in the evening."

"No, I'll find a phone booth on this floor and sit for a while." Xu Shuyuan also had work to do.

Fu Jia nodded and spent the afternoon in a state of disorientation.

As soon as it was dark, the two left the office and went to find a random restaurant upstairs in the shopping mall.When ordering food, Fu Jia couldn't think of anything to talk about, so he kept looking down at the menu.

Xu Shuyuan left on the way, and came back with extra cold medicine bought for him.

"Twice a day, take one capsule each time, after meals."

Fu Jia put away the medicine and said "OK" in a low voice.

"How's your parents going?" Xu Shuyuan asked, "Have you calmed down?"

"Not yet..." Fu Jia didn't know how to tell him about her mother's illness, because there was no solution to this matter, and he wouldn't be able to help.

"Do you need me to talk to them?"

"Don't do it for now, they will only get angrier if you go." Fu Jia lowered her eyes, holding the glass of water on the table tightly.

Xu Shuyuan was silent for a long time before saying, "Okay."

After eating without taste, the two slowly went downstairs along the escalator.It was already eight o'clock, and he had to leave for the train station at nine o'clock anyway, and time waited for no one.

As soon as she left the shopping mall, her mother called. Fu Jia stopped at the door and said to Xu Shuyuan, "I'll answer the phone."

Xu Shuyuan hummed and walked away.

Fu Jia stood at the leeward side: "Mom."

"Not off work yet? Your dad and I are waiting for you to have dinner."

"I've eaten," he didn't want to lie, "I'll go back later, you don't have to wait for me."

His mother asked casually: "Who did you eat with?"

He was silent.

I only heard the slight sound of the mattress over there, as if his mother sat up from the bed: "You ran to meet that person again?"

He still doesn't speak.

"I don't care if I don't listen to you." Fu's mother's tone instantly became severe, "It's only been a few days, I think you want to piss me off."

Fu Jia was so stuffy that she couldn't breathe, she could only tap her forehead against the wall lightly, again and again, but the panic in her heart didn't diminish at all.

"Mom...give me a little more time, and I'll take care of it."

Mother Fu was silent for a moment, and said, "Just trust you again!"

Then put down the phone.

Fu Jia leaned against the wall and did not move for a long time, until Xu Shuyuan came over and hugged him from behind.He slowed down, turned around and hugged Xu Shuyuan tightly like an inertial reaction, and buried his head in the chest in front of him without moving.

What else can I do?Can't think of any other way.

He didn't ask Xu Shuyuan if he didn't mention it. After a long silence, the two set off for the train station.

It's crowded at all times, including weeknights.Xu Shuyuan had no luggage, only a computer bag.Fu Jia ran to buy him a bottle of water, exchanged his ID card for a farewell ticket, and sent him all the way to the platform.

Maybe it was because it was so late, the platform was quiet, and no one talked much.

The two stood by the road, and the luggage cart almost hit Fu Jia.Xu Shuyuan stretched out his hand to protect him, and his hand rested on his wrist, but Fu Jia slowly withdrew it away.

"How long will you be working on this project?"

"I don't know." Xu Shuyuan glanced at his hand, "If it's fast, it will be half a year, if it's slow, it's nowhere in sight."

Fu Jia nodded dully, with a blank expression.

After a long silence, Xu Shuyuan asked, "Aren't you willing to wait for me?"

He didn't ask "Would you like it", but directly asked "Would you like it?" It seemed that he had a premonition.Fu Jia shook his head first, then stopped after reacting, and stood there silently.

Xu Shuyuan's eyes flickered, and he took a deep breath.

"If you don't want to have a long-distance relationship, I can resign." He said, "There are so many companies in Linjiang, and there are always areas that your father can't control. If I find another job, we can live our lives well even if we start from scratch. "

The word "we" is so intimate, but Fu Jia dare not answer it.He bit his lip tightly, almost tasted the smell of blood, and when he let go, there was a deep line of blood on his lower lip.

"Not only my father, but my mother is sick..."

"What disease?"

"Breast cancer has recurred. She is currently undergoing chemotherapy and may need surgery. She has been in poor health, and now she can no longer be stimulated."

After speaking, the air suddenly became quiet.

Xu Shuyuan breathed silently, as if racking his brains to find a solution, and finally said after a long time: "The elder's body is important. But we can take our time, and I can wait."

"But I don't want you to wait any longer, I feel very tormented." Fu Jia shook her head, gritted her teeth and said what she said in her heart, "There are parents on one side, and you on the other... I haven't been able to sleep all night recently, just Can't think of a solution that's the best of both worlds. Even, even I'm thinking, there might not be a best-of-both-worlds solution at all."

Xu Shuyuan suddenly raised his voice: "So what do you mean?"

"I--"

He'd never asked that question before.Fu Jia raised her eyes and looked at Xu Shuyuan at a loss.Xu Shuyuan also looked over, probably because of the night, his eyes were so dark that he couldn't see any light.

"One side is my parents, the other side is me..." He repeated Fu Jia's words.

Fu Jia choked up and asked, "If it were you, how would you choose?"

"How should I choose?" Xu Shuyuan looked at him, "I only have you."

Fu Jia felt a tearing pain in his heart, and couldn't help but took a step forward, wanting to hold Xu Shuyuan's hand.

Xu Shuyuan took a step back, "I understand what you mean."

Fu Jia could only lower her head even deeper.

There is a lot of dust on Xu Shuyuan's shoes, so they look very old.The back of the hand carrying the bus bag is full of blue veins, and the surface of the nails is white, as if lack of nutrition.

This is my own Xu Shuyuan, a flesh and blood Xu Shuyuan who can feel pain and fatigue.

"Is there anything else you want to say to me?" he asked.

Fu Jia was silent for a long time, and slowly said word by word: "Don't worry about work, I will beg my dad when I get back, I will definitely... definitely let you transfer back as soon as possible."

"It's not necessary." The voice of the answer suddenly lost its temperature, "I can handle it myself."

The meaning of this sentence is self-evident.Fu Jia looked up and found that Xu Shuyuan was looking at him, his eyes were cold, and he could no longer find the tenderness in the past.

"Are you blaming me?" Fu Jia's voice was hoarse.

"I respect your choice."

But feelings are never a choice, feelings are what you say.

The night wind passed through the gap between their bodies, taking away the last bit of warmth.The train slowly entered the station, and the huge electronic clock above the head jumped by one frame every second, and the last 10 minutes were only [-] frames.

Is that what we are?Fu Jia didn't feel the truth at all.

The beginning was impulsive, and the end was hastily ended. In the end, I didn't even say the word "breakup".

Other people around him began to line up to board the car, the line twisted and twisted, tightly entangled like a line in the middle of the night.

Fu Jia didn't know if she was numb, but she didn't shed a single tear.He accompanied Xu Shuyuan to the end of the line, Xu Shuyuan took out his pocket to find the ticket, and he even offered to help with the briefcase.

It seems that this is just a short trip, and I will pick it up again after sending it off.

The leader of the team started to board the car, and the team moved slowly. Xu Shuyuan turned around and called him.

"Fu Jia."

Fu Jia raised her head, out of inertia at that moment, she almost thought she was about to kiss Xu Shuyuan.

"Take care of yourself." Xu Shuyuan said neatly.

Fu Jia groaned, her throat was as dry as if it had been scraped by a razor blade, and a smile appeared on her face, "You too."

Xu Shuyuan got into the car without looking back.

Fu Jia stayed at the end of the line and watched blankly, watching the figure disappear before his eyes, watching the flight attendant take away the pedal, the door slammed shut, and the train slowly drove away.

The platform became very empty again, as if everything had never happened.He and Xu Shuyuan, these three months also disappeared out of thin air, evaporated without a trace like water vapor.

Fu Jia didn't know if Xu Shuyuan was in pain, he couldn't see clearly, because Xu Shuyuan walked so fast that he didn't even give him a pause.

All the heart-piercing, redemption or accusation that he imagined did not happen, and the separation was much smoother than he imagined.

The train left, and so did his books.

Because it was the last train, all six beds in the sleeper car were full, and the people on it started snoring as soon as they lay down.

On the right side of the lower bunk sat a mother and daughter, the child was braided and looked to be three or four years old at most.The child's mother brought a lot of snacks, and the child probably thought that they should share, so he pushed the bag of potato chips to the center of the small table, "Uncle eats too."

The person opposite did not respond.The figure facing out the window was very stiff, and his expression could not be seen clearly. The side of his neck was full of protruding blue veins, as if he was enduring some great pain.

The mother pulled her daughter's naughty hand back: "Uncle won't eat, good boy, you can eat."

The daughter blinked her eyes, looked at the man in front of her for a while, then leaned into her mother's arms, cupped her mouth in her hand and whispered to her mother, "What's wrong, uncle?"

"Don't ask nonsense." Mom glanced quickly, "Uncle is not feeling well."

The carriage returned to silence, and the train started to gallop after leaving Linjiang.

Xu Shuyuan didn't know what he was thinking.

He came back this trip because he wanted to see the person he loved, but he didn't expect the other person to push him away.He looked out of the window silently, looking at the strange scenery outside the window, wanting to let himself down for a long time.

I think that four years is enough to change a person, I think that as long as I have enough patience and wait, I can always wait for the answer I want.

Still waiting? Xu Shuyuan.

The phone vibrated, and Fu Jia texted "I'm sorry".

Xu Shuyuan stared at these three words intently until he understood Fu Jia, accepted the fact, and realized that there was no need to wait any longer.

There was no misunderstanding between them, nothing to justify, and therefore no excuses.Some are just an insignificant feeling, a feeling that has not been chosen.And it's useless to just wait for this feeling.