The county horse is a medicine jar

The night was as cold as water, Lin Sishen was lying on the desk in the study, flipping through the secret letters he had taken out from the hidden compartment, wearing a thick fur coat, with the freshly boiled ginger soup in Mozhu in hand, and beside the burning stove.

Although she fell into a coma for three whole days, but fortunately everything was still being arranged in an orderly manner, Lin Sishen breathed a sigh of relief, and just as she was about to stand up, her throat suddenly sweetened, and a strong smell of blood spread from her mouth. Coughing violently from his lips, greasy and warm blood overflowed from between his fingers and dripped onto the table.

Staring at the scarlet blood on his palm, Lin Sishen was a little stunned. Just at this moment, the door of the room was knocked suddenly, and Lin Sitao's deep voice came from outside the door: "Shen'er, are you inside?"

Lin Sishen didn't have time to think about it, so he hurriedly took out a silk handkerchief from his sleeve and wiped the corners of his lips, wiped off all the blood on his hands on the table, and quickly stuffed the bloody silk handkerchief back into his sleeve.

Then she sat down straight with a flick of her sleeves, cleared her throat and said, "I'm here, brother, come in."

Hearing this, Lin Sitao pushed the door open, and when he saw Lin Sishen, he was stunned. He turned around and closed the door and walked quickly to Lin Sishen's side. He frowned and looked at Lin Sishen's pale face, and asked worriedly, "Why isn't there any color on his face?" , when I saw you yesterday, you weren't so haggard."

While talking, Lin Sitao reached out to touch Lin Sishen's forehead, but before he touched Lin Sishen, he pushed him away, smiled and said calmly: "It's just a cold, and it will be cured in two days."

After finishing speaking, Lin Sishen couldn't ask Lin Sitao any more, so he quickly changed the question and asked why he came: "It's late at night, what's the big brother coming to see me?"

Lin Sitao was interrupted, and subconsciously replied: "Just now, Cai Niang came to me and asked me to clean up tonight and go back to Qingzhou with her tomorrow, do you know about this?"

"Ah."

Lin Sishen nodded and lowered his eyes, Lin Sitao hurriedly said after seeing this: "But I heard mother said that you won't go with us? You want to stay in the capital with father? .

Lin Sishen held tightly the bloodstained silk handkerchief in his sleeve, and said in a low voice: "Yes, father can't leave Beijing without his resignation. As for me... I still have some things to do, I can't leave."

Lin Sitao sat down next to Lin Sishen when he heard the words, frowned and said: "Shen'er, I know the situation in the capital is critical now, and if you and your father stay in the capital, you will definitely be involved. Let mother and second brother go back to Qingzhou tomorrow. stay with you."

"No."

Lin Sishen resolutely refused, and she said sternly: "Brother, if you don't leave, I will inevitably be distracted. Once something happens to you, how can I explain to my mother?"

"But what if something happens to you and dad? Do I just hide in Gyeongju and do nothing? Do nothing?"

Lin Sitao stood up abruptly, and said firmly, "No matter what, I won't leave. I want to stay in the capital with you."

Lin Sishen rubbed her forehead with some headaches. She was holding the blood-stained silk handkerchief in her sleeve, and she suddenly felt very anxious, so she blurted out: "Then what can you do if you stay? You can't help me with anything."

As soon as these words came out, Lin Sitao froze. He looked at Lin Sishen in disbelief. After a while, his eyes dimmed. He sat down dejectedly, held his head in his hands and asked in a low voice, "Shen'er, are you serious?" Do you think I can't help you with anything?"

Lin Sishen knew that she had said something wrong. Her words just now must have hurt Lin Sitao's heart. She regretted her indiscriminate words, but she couldn't take back what she said. Her eyes flickered and she was at a loss and explained: "Brother, I didn't mean that, I..."

Lin Sitao shook his head, he interrupted Lin Sishen, and whispered softly: "I know that I have been giving up on myself all these years, and instead of sharing my parents' worries, I let them worry about me. No one knows that I am your helper, a helper What a waste, hehe."

As he spoke, Lin Sitao suddenly laughed out loud. He parted the corners of his lips ironically, and smiled softly to himself.

Lin Sishen had a headache and supported her forehead, she really couldn't be distracted anymore, she was tired enough these days: "Brother, I... I'm just a little tired, I don't have the time to think about other things now."

Lin Sitao slowly raised his head, he looked at the unconcealable tiredness on Lin Sishen's face, and suddenly said softly: "Shen'er, you are actually very similar to the princess, do you know that?"

Lin Sishen's expression changed, and he turned his head to look at Lin Sitao, only to see him shaking his head bitterly and said: "You complained to me before that the Princess always keeps everything from you, but why not you, she keeps you from you, you Just keep it from my parents and me, no matter what happens, I will hit myself on the shoulder, even if I know I can't fight it."

Under Lin Sishen's stupefied gaze, Lin Sitao sighed, "I think you should understand my current state of mind very well. I thought it was good for us to do this, so I kept it a secret. Isn't that what you and the Princess are like? ?”

Lin Sishen was a little dazed, she never thought that she was so similar to Shen Qingwan all the time, maybe unknowingly, she also gave the pain and torture she had endured to the closest people.

Lin Sitao also felt tired, he lowered his head and said in a low voice: "You know, my mother talked to me for a long time today and cried for a long time, she told me that she had never been so sad like today, she said she couldn't see Knowing what you want to do, I can't guess what you are thinking. She said that she is afraid that if she leaves tomorrow, she will never see you again in the future, but she has to leave. She knows that she can't hinder you. you."

"You let us go so that you can feel at ease, but have you ever thought about whether we will feel at ease after we leave?"

Lin Sitao's voice of questioning was inexplicably familiar to her ears, and Lin Sishen remembered that she had also questioned Shen Qingbian in this way, and at that time she even began to suspect that Shen Qingwan didn't really care about herself.

She felt that Shen Qingwan was wrong, so was she also wrong?

At this point, Lin Sitao stood up, put his hand on Lin Sishen's shoulder, and said with a wry smile: "Shen'er, this is actually human nature, the more you care about it, the more you are afraid of losing it. I understand why you do this, no matter what happens , neither my parents nor I will blame you, maybe we just can't forgive ourselves."

Can't forgive myself, can't forgive my weakness, can't forgive in this life...

Lin Sishen was like enlightenment, just when Lin Sitao was about to leave with heavy steps, the corner of his clothes was caught suddenly, he turned around slowly after a pause, and found that Lin Sishen was hanging his head, his fingertips tightly Pulling the corner of his clothes.

Lin Sitao looked at her convincingly, and subconsciously murmured: "Shen'er..."

Lin Sishen's face was covered by the shadow, and he couldn't see her expression clearly. Lin Sitao only felt that her hands were trembling. He hurriedly bent down and grabbed Lin Sishen's shoulders with both hands, and asked anxiously, "Shen'er, what's wrong with you? Are you It's not uncomfortable, you can talk to your elder brother quickly."

Under Lin Sitao's hasty questioning, Lin Sishen finally made a move. She rushed towards Lin Sitao fiercely, almost knocking Lin Sitao to the ground with so much strength, her emaciated hands tightly wrapped around Lin Sitao's neck, and that's it without saying a word. Hugging tightly, like a drowning person desperately grasping the straw floating in his hand.

Lin Sishen had never shown such a weak side in front of others. Although Lin Sitao didn't know why, he didn't have the time to think about anything else. His heart was full of distress. He hugged Lin Sishen back, feeling warm water droplets on his neck. smash down.

This time, Lin Sishen finally cried aloud, crying in Lin Sitao's arms like a child who has been greatly wronged.

"Brother, I really can't hold it anymore."