a setting sun

Xu Xin was not like this in the past, he said what he said, and said what he said, these are words that could be used to describe Xu Xin's style of life in the past.

But as she grew older and experienced more and more, she began to become less clear-cut in black and white, and learned to hold back what she wanted to say more often, stop talking and give up communication.

Because many times, without dialogue, she has guessed most of the things going.It is precisely because she understands Shen Sihan's character that she will never show weakness, that she knows that it is impossible for her to convince Shen Sihan with a rational identity that argues for everything.

Reasoning with Shen Sihan can only make Shen Sihan more sober and rational.

Therefore, after Xu Xin successfully prevented the development of the situation, the lives of the two seemed to return to a stable state without any waves.On the surface, it seems that everything has returned to the original state, but Xu Xin can feel the weakening of the relationship between the two.It looks the same, but is actually different.The heart that has already started to deviate from the track cannot be controlled, and the temporary stagnation does not mean that there is still room for change.So Xu Xin has fallen into an indescribable anxiety, just like in the process of rock climbing outdoors, suddenly found that the safety rope on his body has been broken, but he can't find the next foothold when he wants to move on same.It seems like I'm going to die, but I haven't reached the point of death, but the ending is already doomed, but I don't know when and how I will die...

In the process of maintaining this inexplicable state between the two, the two moved once, because the monthly rent of the rented house had increased, so the two had to change to another room that was cheaper but much smaller.

Originally, Xu Xin didn't like this job of selling mobile phones and everyone she came into contact with in this job, but she had the support of Shen Sihan at the beginning, and she also thought about breaking through herself, but as time went by and Shen Sihan Han's changes, she gradually felt tired.

She was tired and felt that she couldn't maintain the state of barely maintaining her relationship and work.She began to feel depressed again, but this time, she chose to give up directly.Say no to this job for no one but yourself.

If you don't like it, you don't like it, but doing it reluctantly just proves that you have enough reasons for not liking it time and time again.Her job is like this, probably, Shen Sihan treats her like this too...

But she was too lazy to continue pretending.She resigned after talking about the job, and she began to hide in the rented house all day long. Shen Sihan urged her to find another job immediately, but she always verbally agreed, and when Shen Sihan left for work, she would turn off the computer , Climbed back to the bed in a daze, she remembered that when Shen Sihan persuaded her, he kept saying, "Can't you be a little sunny? How do you know if you haven't tried it?"

It seems that she is a collection of all the dark sides in the world, and the sun will never shine. In fact, it is just because she is more realistic than most people, and she can't say some beautiful words to comfort others or numb herself.Speaking of the courage to try, probably choosing to follow Shen Sihan with a stern face is the most fearless thing she has ever done in her life. She didn't care about the consequences or changes, she just persisted hard.Resisting the suppression of all my negative emotions during this period, I tried to match Shen Sihan's pace and cater to her wishes.Even though the body and mind are dilapidated, they are still supported by rivets and steel plates.Looking forward to seeing even a small ray of sunshine when I walk out of the silent hill of life.

There are so many poignant and beautiful loves in the world, but the one between Xu Xin and Shen Sihan is not included.Xu Xin knew that until the end, it might just be his own wishful thinking.But why... when it comes to work, she can give up as soon as she says she wants to, but when it comes to Shen Sihan, she keeps thinking about waiting and waiting?

She lay slumped on the bed, looking at the ceiling above her head.

Maybe... She just regarded Shen Sihan as the straw before she drowned... Just like before she came to Beijing, she longed for someone to give her a hand in her hopeless life, Then Shen Sihan appeared.Not only did it give her hope to continue living, but it also gave her a very dangerous desire.

People will always instinctively seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. If you want to ask, did Shen Sihan not feel the danger of Xu Xin?

Oh, how is it possible, she knows her so well.

But why didn't she cut off her relationship with Xu Xin immediately after being targeted by Xu Xin?

Why... It's not because she is too kind.She believed that Xu Xin would not do anything against her, so she let what Xu Xin did.As a good friend for many years, she also likes Xu Xin and treats her like her own younger brother and sister.Knowing that she has a gloomy personality, I thought of pulling her in the direction of the sun to make her happier.None of this is wrong.

Maybe the fault is that her soft heart gave Xu Xin the opportunity to sneak in.

Isn't Xu Xin clear about this?No, she knows better than anyone else, so no matter how uncomfortable and heartbroken she is, she has no way to impose the fault on Shen Sihan.It was the misplaced relationship that ruined Xu Xin's mood, not Shen Sihan.

She tilted her head, moved her fingers, and sighed.After a long walk, she thought she had found the exit of life, but she didn't expect to go around and return to the original point.

Are you really doomed to achieve nothing and have nothing?

Thinking that she was about to lose Shen Sihan, she couldn't help but feel sore eyes. From 14 years to 18 years, in four years, she felt that she didn't seem to grow up in such a long time.However, Shen Sihan followed the steps but persevered, and had already gone a long way, leaving her behind.

Xu Xin always talked about his reality, but he didn't save any savings to fight against reality.

She remembered.

I don't remember how long ago, Shen Sihan said such a thing.

"Even if we can't get a certificate, we can still take wedding photos together. There is always a sense of ceremony, right? I don't want to ask for a wedding anymore, and the photos still have to be taken."

What did Shen Sihan think at that time?Did you really decide to be with Xu Xin for a long time?But now?What was she thinking?

Xu Xin turned over from the bed and sat up.The tears in the corners of my eyes didn't have time to wipe away, but suddenly realized.

She has always focused on Shen Sihan, worrying too much about the relationship between the two and Shen Sihan's smiles, but she has never worked hard for the future of the two of them.Subconsciously, I only think that the two of us can live well today, and let's talk about tomorrow's affairs tomorrow.

From the age of 24 to 28, the very important struggle time for a person was wasted by Xu Xinhuang.Still like a child, indulging in love and love all day long, living an unrealistic life, regardless of how old you are, how will you live?What makes Shen Sihan happy?

Besides, she thought about it.She even never promised Shen Sihan anything.It's no wonder that Shen Sihan never told her I love you.Because it seems...Xu Xin's so-called love is only at the level of "there is wine today and drunk today".

Think about it differently, and judge yourself from Shen Sihan's perspective.Are you a person worthy of entrusting your life?

According to the present, the answer is obviously no - I have been nesting in the house like a waste for almost a month, have not gone out for an interview, have not sincerely searched for a job online, and have been struggling with a job all day long. face, relying on Shen Sihan to help bring food back so as not to starve to death.

In this case, what's the difference with some little white faces who rely on their wives to go out to earn money to support themselves after they get married? ? ?

The key point is this situation. Before, Xu Xin had always confidently believed that finding a job or not was his own business, and Shen Sihan didn't need to worry about it.

You need education and no education, you need ability... I don't know if you have it, you are not motivated and have extreme thoughts, you will be blown back if you are said a few words, your life is irregular, and your thoughts are not sunny...

Even if Xu Xin simply counts with his fingers, he will know how bad he is... This kind of thing has nothing to do with gender. Since you have to be responsible for the person you love, it doesn't matter whether your shoulders are broad or narrow, your arms are thick or thin, right? Should we all stand up straight and hold our chests high to protect the one we love from the wind and rain?How can you point the finger at the person you love instead?If you are good enough, how can you be afraid that the person you like will fall in love with someone else?

Xu Xin finally realized his fundamental mistake.Talking about the pursuit of happiness, but without the slightest effort or plan, I ran around like a headless chicken all day long, thinking that I was living a good life.

As soon as something bad appears a little bit, it immediately bounces far away, avoiding it for fear of being too late.In fact, it's just because they didn't take responsibility.

Xu Xin got up from the bed, submitted his resume on the recruitment website, and then sat there waiting for a while, but no phone calls came in, and no one contacted her.

Although there are many jobs in this city, and most companies are recruiting, it doesn't mean they are recruiting everyone.There are jobs, but they are only for capable and experienced people.The most likely way to cast a net like this is to catch a pile of rubbish.

no more.Can't wait.

Ever since he realized what he should do, Xu Xin felt that the time was running out, so he jumped off the chair, took out his clean clothes and pants, packed his resume in a file bag and stuffed it into his backpack.He hurriedly changed out of his pajamas, rushed to the bathroom to wash up, spit out the water in his mouth, raised his head and looked at his hair like a chicken coop in the mirror, um, it needs to be washed.

Everything was tidied up. Before going out, Xu Xin looked around in the mirror again. His hair had been dried and grasped, the collar of his shirt was neat and smooth, and all the buttons were buttoned up. There were no lint on his trousers, and his shoes were clean and free from dust.OK, let's go!