a setting sun

It's ridiculous to say it, Xu Xin, she is actually very clear that she is not the kind of person who can shine on others with sunshine all over her body, but she still wants to give her great support when facing Shen Sihan's problems. understand.Although he knew that what he did was not good enough, he still wanted to be that sunny person for Shen Sihan, even a little bit more.But she didn't know that she couldn't control her fluctuating emotions, sudden frustration, and inexplicable doubts.

There will be another voice from the bottom of my heart questioning myself, after doing so much, what has changed?Isn't it still the same as the initial situation, maintaining the relationship with fear, paying attention to emotions carefully, trying to think of the worst thing as the best, but in the end all efforts will be ruined by a self-serving question .

There will be frustrated voices clamoring, how long will you hold on?One-sided continuous output, there will always be a day when the power is cut off. At that time, what will you do?

When I was in the Old Pingfang District in Beijing, one night, Shen Sihan went to 'over there', so Xu Xin was left alone in the room, and she looked left and right in the room, but she was still alone. Unable to control the upwelling of negative emotions in her heart, even though she didn't want to cry at all, the tears kept pouring out of her chest with unbearable pain, and when they were about to rush out of her eyes, she stood up abruptly.

She quickly locked the door, and she walked out to the street alone.

A person, a quiet street, with yellow and green leaves on both sides of the street, the dry leaves on the ground made a crisp click sound, and the orange street lamp kept lengthening Xu Xin's shadow. When she looked up, the moon was very bright that night , although not round but beautiful.

In fact, the images that flashed in my mind were all guesses about what Shen Sihan was doing with her boyfriend at this time.So although the first moment she saw the beautiful scenery, she thought of taking a picture with her mobile phone and sharing it with Shen Sihan, but after taking out her mobile phone, she stopped moving.What is it that she wants to share?Isn't it the loneliness of being alone?What qualifications does she have to share this with Shen Sihan?Isn't it true that Shen Sihan is happier at this time?Compared with this dark blue lonely beauty, isn't it more heart-warming to have a home with many people accompanying you and smelling the aroma of food?She began to realize that her persistence might just be a wrong decision.What she did was to destroy the 'plain happiness' that Shen Sihan had obtained.What noble devotion and touching love?

It's just a beautiful disguise that she selfishly wants to take the warm meditation that brings her warmth as her own.After all, she is just a despicable third party.

He self-righteously put himself in the position of the redeemer, and declared that he was the benefactor who dragged his thoughts out of the abyss.

Just like compared to this so-called 'beautiful' photo, what Shen Sihan yearns for more is the daily meal that can move her index finger, what Xu Xin can give her is nothing but an illusion that has nothing to do with food and clothing.On the surface, they are happy and happy, but they can't solve the problems that actually exist in real life.

In this relationship, she is the spoiler who fell from the sky. If she really loves Shen Sihan, shouldn't she let her go and let her have a simpler and ordinary happiness?

But what to do, she just chooses to save herself when she is close to the warmth and the light in her eyes.

There are so many people in this world, am I the only one who doesn't deserve happiness?Xu Xin put the phone back into his pocket again, turned around and looked at the vehicles that crossed and missed on the motorway next to him, took two steps towards that side, but stopped again.

In my mind, I imagined that after jumping into the traffic, I was knocked into the air.If you lose your life all of a sudden, it will definitely be very easy... These inexplicable emotions and moods will never appear again, and you don't have to reflect on your own right or wrong, and fall into self-blame...

With her hand in her pocket, her fingers touched the cold mobile phone, and her fingertips were icy cold.

In fact, she would imagine herself dying in various scenes very frequently, and she would be tempted by the aroma of death every day. Unfortunately, the only time she made up her mind to do it failed because the blade was not sharp enough.And in the hundreds of millions of imaginations afterwards, she was always worried that she would not be able to do it neatly, so she delayed until now.

Until now, it seems that she has completely possessed Shen Sihan on the surface, but she is still troubled by those frustrated emotions from time to time. Fortunately, the busy work and orderly life, as well as Shen Sihan who can be with her most of the time, healed her. few.The stable job and peaceful life made her a lot more sunny, and the company of Shen Sihan brought a lot of smiles on her face.

After the summer officially entered, Shen Sihan's work began to enter a short busy period, while Xu Xin was busy with the company's new summer plan, new menu, new decoration, new aprons for work clothes, and sales volume. Steadily maintained at a high point, the continuous work arrangement made everyone immersed in the atmosphere of working hard and earning money. Tiredness is certain, but Xu Xin did not complain about it, but gradually adapted to this working state.She is not a hypocritical person, and the job is chosen by herself, and hardship is nothing to young people. This kind of experience will become a rare wealth in the process of growth, and she still knows this.

Because he drank a lot of milk tea, ate takeout all day long, and didn't have much time to exercise. Recently, Shen Sihan always talked to Xu Xinxin, "I'm over, I'm getting fat." So the two discussed it and decided to go for a night run. lose weight.

Compared with the crowds of people in the daytime, Shenzhen at night truly embodies the fireworks in the world.Unlike the small northern cities that quiet down at six o’clock every night, Shenzhen’s six o’clock is the time when young people officially start their nightlife. Friends in groups meet for a walk on the street, go shopping, and buy something when they’re hungry. Snacks, chestnut duck neck milk tea with sugar water, oysters, scallops and lobsters are everywhere.

But once Shen Sihan made up his mind, he was more persistent. He gave up late night snacks and milk tea. When he got home from get off work, he simply packed up, changed into light clothes, put on his running shoes and went out.

Of course, Xu Xin would definitely be by his side for fear that it would be unsafe for her to be outside alone at night.

But Xu Xin really has no talent in running, and his endurance is also very lacking. After a while, he was thrown away by Shen Sihan.Fortunately, the range of the fixed running itinerary is near the People's Park. When Xu Xin ran over out of breath, Shen Sihan had already run half a circle around the park. Seeing that her little face was flushed with exhaustion, she was still running. Laughing at her as a sparring partner for her poor physique.

In fact, thinking about the training at the Beijing military base, Xu Xin was better than Shen Sihan in the rest of the physical training, the only thing he couldn't cope with was running.

When Xu Xin was in high school, once at a school sports meeting, because the class teacher arranged an 800-meter race that he was not good at, his right leg muscle was severely strained halfway through.After that, she limped for nearly a month before she felt any pain in her leg.But after that time, she couldn't run long distances at all, and it was always the injured leg that would cause problems.Didn't the doctor say that after the muscle is repaired, it will be stronger than before?Why is it different when it comes to Xu Xin?Later Xu Xin thought about it, maybe it wasn't a muscle that was injured, but a more serious ligament.But she didn't know anything at that time, there was no medicine or cold compress, and she just stiffened for a month.So it is likely that the root cause of the disease fell at that time.But it wasn't a big deal to her at the time.After all, running skills are rarely used in later life.

It wasn't until the moment she became Shen Sihan's training partner that she really felt inconvenient about her inability to run long distances.So I can only take a lazy shortcut to catch up.

Shen Sihan insisted on long-distance running for more than a month, then the weather turned cold and the rain continued, so the weight loss plan had to be shelved.

During these days, Xu Xin would occasionally visit Shen Sihan's store, so all the shop assistants under Shen Sihan knew Xu Xin.But Xu Xin always avoided meeting Liu Chunna, even if he saw Liu Chunna staying in the store from a long distance, he would deliberately avoid it.Maybe it's because she doesn't like Liu Chunna from the bottom of her heart, it's not just that she doesn't like it, it's that she doesn't even want to hit her in person.She doesn't know why, Xu Xin doesn't like the people in Shen Sihan's shop, even if they are just her subordinates, regardless of gender. It just doesn't feel so good.

But because of Shen Sihan's face, greetings and normal conversations are still necessary, and occasionally, when Shen Sihan brings these men and women together for dinner, he will call Xu Xin.

For Xu Xin, sitting and eating with a group of people who have nothing to do with him is indeed a torment, but Shen Sihan pulled her with great interest and wanted her to blend into this group of people, so she couldn't be too righteous of rejection.

Fortunately, Xu Xin and Shen Sihan's vacation time was slowly staggered, so Xu Xin did not participate in such activities several times.

To be honest, for Xu Xin, she has never even been to the private gatherings of the employees in the milk tea shop where she works, and she always refuses them all for various reasons.

Xu Xin always handles the feelings of others very clearly and indifferently. The identity of colleagues and bosses or colleagues of Shen Sihan is not enough for Xu Xin to classify these people as his friends, so these people in Xu Xin Xin's heart is nothing but irrelevant people, so naturally there will be no special treatment.

It can even be said that she is too lazy to get along with these people, and she doesn't even want to pretend on the surface.