Please don't be so hard on me!

"Miao Cun, have you finished your make-up exam? How do you feel?"

"I'm going to the university town this afternoon. If you're happy, can you meet me?"

"I left a pot of flowers at your door, remember to water them once a week."

"I miss you"

……

"Why does it keep turning off? I won't harass you, if you can, tell me you're safe."

"Miaomiao, please answer my call once, only once."

"The potted flower is dead"

"Miaomiao, aren't you home? When will you be back?"

……

"I'm going to New York for inspection in the next half month. Take good care of yourself. When I come back, can we meet?"

"Miao Cun, I can't stop thinking about you."

……

"Luo Yuanhe returned to France today."

"Did you go with him?"

……

"I've been very busy recently. Lily reminded me that I didn't know that the university has started and the summer vacation is over."

"That's right, Miao Cun has been suspended at the end of last semester."

At the beginning of the semester, the entire Academic Affairs Office was so busy that the students from the Student Union and the Youth League Committee helped out. The counselor in a plaid shirt stood up, scratched his face, and smiled awkwardly: "You look so much like Professor Luo. Are you twins?"

The tall man in front of him was expressionless, but nodded silently.

"Miao Cun came to suspend school by himself after the make-up exam. I thought he didn't understand the situation, so I specially reminded him that there is no need to go through formalities for exchange..."

"He didn't go abroad?"

"No," the counselor was a little surprised, "Didn't Professor Luo tell you? Miao Cun is the most taken care of by him—sorry for a moment," stopped a student passing by, confessed in a few words, and turned back again When God came, he smiled timidly at the person in front of him: "Professor Luo should know."

Facing such a face always seemed to be reporting to Luo Yuanhe, which made him nervous unconsciously.

In any case, they are really too similar. Although the two have different attitudes, in the eyes of people who are not familiar with them, they are almost carved out of the same mold.

Luo Minghan hadn't contacted Luo Yuanhe for a long time, and he didn't even attend the meal for him to practice.It's not that he didn't like to see Luo Yuanhe, but he thought that Luo Yuanhe probably didn't want to see him, so he didn't bother him.After going to France and settling down, the two usually chat once or twice a week, but in the past two months, they have a tacit understanding as if they have blocked each other.

Luo Yuanhe knew that Miao Cunxiu had dropped out of school, but he didn't tell him.

Luo Minghan hooked his lips in a self-deprecating manner, very shallow and fleeting.

"Why did he leave school, did you tell me?" He asked the counselor.

Because there are very few students applying for suspension of school, the counselors remember it clearly: "Suspend due to illness."

"Because of illness?" Luo Minghan was taken aback, his whole body language changed - he bent down, clenched his fists on the desk, and stared at the other party with a pair of deep eyes: "What is the illness? Does it matter? He is alone Here? Are there any family members around you?"

The counselor was taken aback by his posture: "That's right, Mr. Luo, we are obliged to help students protect their privacy..." He said awkwardly.

Luo Minghan finally asked: "Then can you give me Miao Cun's emergency contact information?"

The counselor pulls down his chair, sits down, and retrieves the form from the computer.After all, Miao Cun was young, and the hospital treated him as a minor before. The contact person was updated every semester, with two columns in total.Holding the mouse, he pushed his glasses and reported: "One is his father Miao Jiancheng, the number is... and the other is brother, Luo Minghan,..."

The hand pressing the dial key stopped, and Luo Minghan listened to the series of familiar numbers in the other party's mouth in disbelief.

Miao Jiancheng is a liar, which means that if something happens to Miao Cun, the only person who can really help him is Luo Minghan.

He trusted him to such an extent, but in the end he personally imprisoned him for half a month.

There was no expression on Luo Minghan's face, but he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, concealing the surging pain in his eyes.

After leaving the administration building of the college, he called Miao Jiancheng. He heard that he was busy playing cards.

"What? Miao Cun? How do I know where he died?" Miao Jiancheng frowned, "Hey put it down—to two—don't ask me don't ask me—I have nothing to do with him."

To go home for dinner at night, the driver was driving, Luo Minghan closed his eyes in the back seat and rested his mind, his fingers subconsciously rubbed the corners of the phone, and after 5 minutes of pondering, he finally decided to call Luo Yuanhe, not for the sake of asking questions, but for I wanted to ask him if he knew Miao Cun's recent situation, what kind of illness he had, and which hospital he went to for recuperation.

But no one answered all of Luo Yuanhe's contact information.

When it was time to eat at night, Mother Luo sighed in disbelief: "I don't know what happened to Yuanhe, my heart is always up and down."

"Call him if you want to." Luo Minghan replied calmly.

"He is retreating, where can I find him?" Luo Mu gave him a white look, "It is said that it has reached a bottleneck period... I don't understand, what kind of bottleneck period can there be in painting," she rambled on, both to Luo Yuanhe Distressed and complained, "If you say disconnected, disconnect, not even a little news."

"An artist." Luo's father still turned the lid of the thermos cup and took a sip of hot tea.

"What art is art? If you have something to do, you know it and keep it in your heart. Do you know if it hurts your body?"

"There is an old saying that a poet is born of suffering, so relax." Father Luo smoothed things over.

"I don't want a poet, I just want my son to be good!" Mother Luo pinched him in hatred, then turned to glaring at Luo Minghan: "And you!——Luo Minghan! Look at how you have come back these past few months. Not a single word!"

The flames of war burned on him suddenly, Luo Minghan pursed his lips and smiled formulaically, then put down the bowl and chopsticks: "I'm done eating."

"Hey, you—"

Luo Minghan took off his suit jacket from the back of the chair: "I still have something to do, let's go first, and I will come back to see you next time."

"Tell the driver to drive slower! Smile more!" Mother Luo shouted behind her.

Luo Minghan raised his arms lazily.

He went back to the place where Miao Cun lived. He had been here a few times before, and the doorknob was covered with dust.

This kind of aimless waiting is meaningless. It is like buying a lottery ticket. When you walk out of the lottery station, no one knows which day the fateful prize will come by chance.Luo Minghan sometimes felt that he was walking downhill, he didn't know where the slope was and what it was.This downhill road has no end, and he can only keep going.

What if.

"What if" really came.

Before the car arrived, the driver let out a snort.Luo Minghan lifted his eyelids from a short light sleep, and saw the living room with the lights on, but he didn't react in a daze until he heard the driver say: "President Luo, the lights are on, look Someone is at home today."

The sudden surprise in his heart almost made him unable to breathe. Before the Maybach was fully stabilized, he pushed open the car door, strode like a shooting star, and almost started to trot in the second half.

He had never run to see anyone before, and this was the first time he knew that the feeling of running to see someone like this would make his heart beat so fast and disorderly.

The doorbell rang three times in a row, fearing that Miao Cun would feel impolite, Luo Minghan restrained himself, stopped pressing the door, but knocked on the door: "Miaomiao."

Footsteps sounded behind the door, Luo Minghan took a step back, swallowed back the heart that was in his throat, and made a decent and handsome demeanor.

The door opened.

The Germanic figure and facial features appeared in front of his eyes, and Matt was taken aback for a moment, then laughed enthusiastically: "Heybro, are you looking for Miaomiao?"

"Is he there?"

"He's not here," Mat shrugged, "and he won't be."

Luo Minghan frowned, and asked eagerly, "What do you mean?"

"He's moved away," he turned sideways to make way for the passage, "Nong, the first floor is empty now, and I'm still looking for a new roommate."

In the living room, there is no longer the carpet where the two of them sat and played games. He used to hold him and kiss him on the dining table, which is now full of messy debris. The small blackboard in the entrance has no notes from Miao Cun. and class schedule.There was no longer an easel in the corner, and the paint tubes he had squeezed for him, together with all Luo Minghan's memories here, were all emptied.

Perhaps it was because Luo Minghan's face was too ugly and depressed, Matt tentatively asked in embarrassment: "Did he not tell you?"

Luo Minghan came back to his senses: "Has he contacted you? Has he left any messages, or talked with you about his plans?"

Matt shrugged his shoulders and spread his hands: "Does studying in France count?"

This joke was obviously not funny, he realized it himself, and coughed awkwardly: "Well, he did tell me that if you come to him..."

Luo Minghan took a step closer and couldn't wait to ask: "If I come to him - what?"

"Let me advise you not to look any further."

Mat had never seen such a cruel magic, which can make all the light disappear from a person's eyes-in a time faster than the blink of an eye.

The sensor lights in the corridor went out, together with the lights on Luo Minghan's face and heart, they also went out.

Under the night, his face turned gray, "Really."

"And... I wish you happiness."

Luo Minghan curled his lips expressionlessly.

"Miaomiao asked me to tell you that he doesn't blame you, saying that you don't owe each other any more."

Luo Minghan took a deep breath, wiped his face, and finally asked: "Do you know he is sick?"

It was Matt's turn to be stunned for a moment: "I don't know."

After the door closed, Luo Minghan walked back under the familiar corridor eaves, his steps were slow and his shadow was long.The driver saw him coming and started the car ahead of time, but he saw his boss stop abruptly in the middle of the road, then took out the empty cigarette case from his trouser pocket, turned his head and lit one.

The cigarette was lit, and he didn't continue to move forward. Instead, he squatted down as if he couldn't stand, with his arms on his knees, smoking, his face could no longer be lifted, and his left hand was tightly covering his eyes all the time.

About the time a cigarette was burned to the end, the mobile phone in his pocket vibrated untimely.

It's a strange call.

Luo Minghan took a deep breath, threw the cigarette at his feet and stomped it out, and picked it up with sore eyes, but his tone was calm: "Hey, who is it?"

"Is... is it Mr. Luo?" A middle-aged female voice was unfamiliar but slightly familiar.

"I'm Luo Minghan, may I ask who you are?"

"Oh, I'm Cun Cun—Miao Cun's aunt, do you remember?"

His pupils widened in disbelief, Luo Minghan stood up slowly, and said in a deep voice, "Remember, you are looking for me..."

"Help Miao Cun, okay? We really have nothing to do."

·

In September, Xishuangbanna is not so hot and humid. The weather is slowly becoming drier, but the temperature is still warm. The fields and forests are harvesting one after another. When you open your eyes and breathe every morning, you will be filled with the sweetness of melons and fruits.

Luo Minghan got out of the airport, learned from the past, and only asked Lily to help him rent a [-]WD Land Rover from the airport store, and he drove there himself.

My aunt and uncle had already greeted him at the intersection. When they saw the unfamiliar white Land Rover, they tiptoed around hesitantly, not daring to reach out to stop him.Luo Minghan stopped the car and lowered the window: "Why are you waiting for me here?" He asked the two to get in the car.

He didn't know, because the village entrance and the end of the village were often a place where gossip was produced and spread. My aunt was clumsy and could not resist those inquiries at all.

For example, how is Miao Cun's illness now?Has it become normal?Or is it becoming more abnormal?Will it run out?Are you sure the door is closed?There are also some more cryptic ones. Although they didn't ask directly, they are all hidden in the corners of the eyes and the subtext-will he lose his mind and run out with a knife to hack people?

To the villagers, Miao Cun many years ago was just a stupid kid who couldn't speak. Although he was weird, he was not harmful.Now that he has grown up, he is still suffering from psychological and mental illnesses, and the degree of danger is not the same-in short, it is harmful to keep such a person in the village.

My aunt could not explain to them that Miao Cun is harmless, he is just... just closed, just silent, only sometimes sober and sometimes closed, just draws pictures day by day, misses his mother, and does not have other dangerous behaviors .Sometimes, he even sees their family as peacocks or flowers and plants on the side of the road, he can't recognize them, and he is not interested.

Two months ago, Miao Cun, who relied on willpower to deal with all the affairs, stumbled back to this small village where his mother was buried.

"Auntie, let me stay here for two months. If I get better after two months, I will go back. If I don't get better, wait until the money is used up," Miao Cun said calmly, "Give me to Miao Cun." Build it, and he'll deal with me."

He handed the bank card to his aunt, and told him the password, the address of the bank where the account was opened, and the balance of the deposit: "There are a total of 35 here, please don't send me to the hospital, please."

From that day on, he stepped into the closed desert alone.

Luo Minghan squeezed the steering wheel tightly.

"Mr. Luo, Mr. Luo,—dogs! There are dogs!—be careful!"

She slammed on the brakes, and the seat belt was tightened in an emergency. My aunt repeatedly covered her heart and looked at Luo Minghan in shock.

"Feel sorry."

A little yellow dog with flat ears ran past the car.

"How is he now?"

My aunt looked at him hesitantly.

In fact, Luo Minghan could see it without her answering.

The car stopped in the yard in front of the bamboo house, and my aunt chased away the peacocks who were poking around, "Go! Go!" and said to Luo Minghan, "Miao Cun lives in the small house behind the yard, where his mother used to live."

She led the people through the dim lobby of the bamboo house to the backyard, and walked along a narrow cement road in the backyard for 3 minutes before seeing a single wooden house with two bamboo fences stretching out like arms. A yard was formed around it.There is a peacock walking around in the yard as if no one else is there. If you look closely, you can see two rabbits, one gray and one white, chewing on something.

Luo Minghan was taken aback for a moment, and immediately frowned fiercely and asked: "How can you lock him here alone? He is sick, not crazy!"

My aunt was stunned by his series of questioning, she grinned in embarrassment, lowered her head and twisted her fingers and said, "People in the village are scared."

Otherwise, Miao Cun might not even be able to stay in this village anymore.

My aunt walked a few steps quickly while talking, and inserted the key into the lock: "If Cun Cun doesn't recognize you later, or if he does something else, don't be afraid...he is Xiao Cun now. child."

The yard is quiet, yellow butterflies rise and fall, and stop on the swaying white flowers.At the end of the masonry road, an easel was set up, and the oil painting on it had already been outlined.The boy sat in front of the painting, his slender back still straightened, and he didn't turn his head when he heard the voice behind him.

Because except for the small piece of the world he is interested in, he has become indifferent to all the people and things around him, and he doesn't even roll his eyes for it.

"Cuncun?" My aunt approached lightly, afraid of scaring him, she patted him on the shoulder first: "Cuncun? Look, who is here to see you?"

The brush that was tracing the color stopped, and Luo Minghan's breathing also stopped, and the hand holding the suit jacket was clenched into a fist.

"Look quickly, just take a look, okay?" Auntie persuaded patiently: "It's the elder brother that Cun Cun likes very much."

Luo Minghan's eyes rested on Miao Cun's profile with nostalgia.

He has lost weight.

Both he and Luo Yuanhe tried to raise him well, but in the end they became thinner and thinner.

"Come on, don't be afraid, hold Auntie's hand." Auntie stretched out her hand that was full of calluses due to hard work.

After a long moment, the paintbrush was gently put down, and the slender and white hand was hesitantly held by my aunt gently.

The banana leaf made a soft rattling sound in the wind, the sapphire blue peacock tilted its head, and even the rabbit was startled by the wind and grass, and stared at the man in front of him vigilantly.

A gust of wind blew up in the wilderness, blowing Miao Cun's white T-shirt mottled with paint.His hair has obviously not been taken care of for two months, and it is blown in the direction of the wind, and the color of the sunset is reflected in the luster of the top of the hair.

A sourness rose up to the tip of his nose unreasonably, Luo Minghan forcibly held back, and stared at Miao Cun.

Miao Cun also looked at him, with his face tilted at a distance of nearly ten meters, his expressionless face had the clearest eyes.

The childlike eyes are full of ignorance, as if trying hard to identify and remember, but in vain, they can only frown hard, looking at the person coming with some fear, irritability and frustration.

"Did you remember it?" My aunt followed the temptation and felt her hand was tightly squeezed by Miao Cun. She quickly comforted her: "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, Cun Cun is not afraid, let my aunt be afraid."

Luo Minghan walked towards him and stopped in front of him: "Miao Miao."

My aunt looked up at him, watching him shake off his suit, and gently put it on Miao Cun's shoulders, shielding him from the wind in the twilight.

Luo Minghan curled his lips, his eyes were calm and gentle, he didn't seem to be facing a difficult problem.

The second the plane landed in Xishuangbanna, he had already made a decision in his heart.

Although he is a child, as an adult, he can't deceive him so brazenly, can he?He would still be sad and disappointed—the moment he saw that the person who came was not his brother he liked.

The person he wants to meet should be Luo Yuanhe, not Luo Minghan.

When Luo Yuanhe appeared here, he was the savior. When Luo Minghan appeared here, he was just an insignificant uninvited guest.

His broad palm supported Miao Cun's shoulders, he looked into Miao Cun's eyes, and said gently word by word——

"I'm Luo Yuanhe."

From now on, "Luo Yuanhe" will be with you until the day you really get better.