Because I'm too afraid of pain, it's worth all the looks

The sound of gentle sea waves could be heard in the ears, the brackish sea breeze made one's cheeks itch, and the brilliant sunlight projected on his face, Ming Qiu couldn't help but raised his hands to cover his eyes, and turned over in a daze.

Wait a minute... sunshine?

Ming Qiu sat up abruptly, looked around, and realized that he was lying on the sea surface, and there was nothing but sea water around him, with no end in sight.

It looks like flowing sea water, you can touch the sea water with your hand and feel the heat of the sun, but your body seems to be suspended above the sea water, your clothes are not wet by the sea water at all, and the white ripples cut the mirror-like sea surface into There are multiple individuals, just like the multiple facets of a gem under the plane, beautiful and moving, this kind of scenery is like a dream.

At this moment, the body that was full of soreness no longer felt anything, as if it had been rested for three days and three nights. The blood-soaked clothes disappeared, replaced by a long white dress.

This is not the real world, but a virtual world where "books" exist.

Ming Qiu looked down at his hands, suddenly realized something, and shouted loudly: "Oops... that guy... Osamu Dazai! Where are you!"

Such a voice spread out and echoed continuously, but there was no other voice other than her.

Ming Qiu was slightly taken aback, then lowered her head, and said, "Ah, I'm the only one left." She walked barefoot on the water, and said, "When will I be able to see 'Book'... "

She does figure out how to get to where the "book" is on her own, but so far, she doesn't seem to be entirely successful.

According to her own guess before, as long as she touches Mingqiu's own heart and puts her body in a state of near-death, it is possible to reach the place where the "book" is, and Oda Sakunosuke's experience proves that Mingqiu himself touched is a key point, and another key point is "dying".

It was herself who appeared here now, which meant that the focus was on touching and dying, and it didn't matter who the dying person was.

To be on the safe side, Ming Qiu chose to perform the ceremony of realizing the third method and the ceremony of arriving at the location of the "book" at the same time, so that her body must be sacrificed, that is to say, she was left "outside". People can no longer reach the location of the "book" by touching her body.

As for whether the third method is realized, it is not important to Ming Qiu. After all, the Creation Division only holds such an idea and does not pin all its hopes on her.

Thinking this way, Ming Qiu sat on the sea again, with his arms wrapped around his knees, sitting quietly by himself.

In the end, it's all just back to the beginning.She originally completed these two ceremonies with the idea that she would never "wake up" again, but so far, it seems that she has not achieved either goal.

From one person to a group of people, and back to one person again.

The only gain is probably that she understands more emotions.

Worry, happiness, heaviness, lightness, pain, pleasure, dislike...and likes.

In the past, I was just carrying it alone. Even though I could see different people and understand different emotions through the Internet, in the end it seemed that it was just one-sided feelings like words. Only after I came here, these feelings became so clear and three-dimensional.

It is not so much because of going to the "outside world", but rather because of meeting "those people".

"It would be great if I could still see it..." After saying this, Ming Qiu showed a self-deprecating smile again, and said, "What... I have nothing now, and I am still begging for someone to see? They After being left behind by me, and that guy is dead, is there anyone else in this world who expects me to go back?"

When she said this, she couldn't help showing a dazed expression, and tears flowed down her eyes unconsciously.

"Don't shed tears... You have to be stronger by yourself. It's only been a while before you start crying. You're too fragile." Ming Qiu wiped away her tears, and then said softly, "Since I've been allowed to get here, let me get here." I saw you, and my wish came true."

There was still no echo around.

"I'm such an idiot..." Ming Qiu buried his head between his knees, trying to isolate everything in this emptiness.

It is obviously a success, but why does it seem to be more uncomfortable than failure, even if it disappears completely in this world, what is it like now?

I can neither return to the original world and continue my empty life, nor can I return to the world where everyone is there to reunite with them...

"This is my useless life, a fool struggling and getting nothing."

"Idiot, idiot, Osamu Dazai, that idiot...why do you want to die? If you die, wouldn't all of this be meaningless? You promised to help others..."

The sea breeze surrounded her, and occasionally there was the sound of waves coming, but all of this had nothing to do with her.

"Is Qiu crying?"

Ming Qiu was slightly taken aback, and his fingertips twitched slightly.

Was the voice just now her hallucination?

No, it's not an illusion, it's a more real voice than all previous calls!

Ming Qiu raised his head in a daze, and found that there was a person standing opposite him, with his back against the light and his hands in his pockets, as if he was extraordinarily leisurely.

"Eh?"

"As Qiu said, what an idiot, hiding alone and crying secretly."

Ming Qiu stared at the other party in disbelief, then stood up and said, "You... are still alive... No, not only that, but you followed me here..."

The lacrimal gland seemed to be completely destroyed, and the tears fell for free, pattering into the sea water, as if to make this sea area wider.

Osamu Dazai smiled and said, "Let me just say, I want to become unfortunate people with Qiu, no matter what kind of misfortune it is."

Ming Qiu blinked, restrained himself from staggering a few steps forward because of this, raised his hand and gave him a slap in the face.

Obviously the one being beaten, Dazai Osamu didn't look angry at all, instead he said softly, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

"You...you did it on purpose..." Ming Qiu's eyes turned red from unstoppable tears, and she was already starting to ache. She sobbed and said intermittently: "It's basically, it's the plan. Okay, pretend to be dead on purpose and deceive me...you big liar, do you have any heart, bastard..."

Osamu Dazai reached out and touched her head, and said softly: "Because I touched Qiu's body before I was about to die, so I came here together, and thanks to the information provided by Odasaku, otherwise I probably would not have thought of it. I want to complete my plan through Qiu's death."

Ming Qiu was slightly taken aback, then choked up and said: "You...are you a fool, if you can't be sure of this, you are really dead..."

"Ah, that doesn't matter, anyway, from the 'outside', it looks like we both died together, so my wish has come true." Osamu Dazai said with a smile: "Right? From everyone's point of view, it looks like a 'heart'."

Ming Qiu stared at his red eyes, and said: "Who wants to die for love with you!"

Osamu Dazai was very proud of his "little trick", and said, "Everyone thinks so, right? Just take it as my reward for myself."

Ming Qiu lowered his head and didn't speak.

Every time she felt that she understood what this guy was thinking, Osamu Dazai would make further moves, always catching her off guard.

Seeing her silence, Osamu Dazai thought she was angry again, he couldn't help but slightly bent down, and sincerely apologized: "Qiu must have seen the scene of my death, so he was frightened, right? It's my fault, I'm sorry, Aki. But... not the protector sent by the special agent department, not the former cadre of the port mafia, not the mysterious Mr. Bandage who loves pranks, but just as an individual, as Osamu Dazai, I want to be with Qiu, no matter in what way, even if I die, I want to stand with you in the most authentic way."

After saying these words, Ming Qiu still didn't speak, so Dazai Zhi could only pat his head.

Then Ming Qiu suddenly stood on tiptoe, stretched out his arms and hugged Osamu Dazai's neck tightly.

She is hugging him.

Osamu Dazai was taken aback for a moment, and then carefully stretched out his hand to hug her. While smelling the faint fragrance of Ming Qiu's hair, he couldn't help laughing softly.

Ming Qiu buried his face in his chest, and faintly heard his heartbeat, and then he said sullenly: "Is it that funny...or do you really hate me for holding you...?"

"At first, I thought that if I said such a thing, Qiu would feel very strange." Osamu Dazai lowered his head and said, "But now it doesn't feel so strange, because I am being hugged by Qiu."

Ming Qiu jumped out of his arms immediately, and said, "If I had known earlier, I wouldn't have hugged you—"

Osamu Dazai took her hand, and said briskly, "It was Qiu who took the initiative to hug me just now, and I was not the culprit in this incident."

This is the only person who has warmth besides the sun and sea water, and no matter what, he doesn't want to let go of him.

Ming Qiu had no choice but to look away, and muttered: "I don't understand, logically, you should be able to see the 'book', why didn't you..."

Osamu Dazai fell silent suddenly, and asked after a while: "Does Qiu want to see 'Book'?"

"Of course, right? I want to live in this world!" Ming Qiu turned her head abruptly, only to realize that the relaxed expression on Dazai Osamu's face was replaced by a somewhat serious expression. He said with some unease, "You... what kind of expression do you have..."

Osamu Dazai stretched out his hand to cover her eyes, and said, "Is Qiu ready?"

Ming Qiu couldn't help but make a suspicious voice: "Huh?"

Osamu Dazai continued, "We're here."

Ming Qiu pulled his hand covering his face, only then did he realize that the scene in front of him was completely different from before.

At this moment, it looks like on the beach at sunset, light purple, golden yellow, wine red... all kinds of colors are intertwined, which is extremely beautiful, but it is different from the scene just now, suddenly there are many more people around. Books, one by one, are stacked together, covering the entire sea.

"Is this where the 'book' is?" Ming Qiu looked at Dazai Zhi, and said, "But why didn't I come here just now..."

"Because Qiu was thinking about other things." Osamu Dazai said as if joking: "It's thinking about me."

Ming Qiu said awkwardly: "No."

Only then did Osamu Dazai seriously speculate: "It should be said that Qiu still has unfulfilled wishes, which are more urgent than seeing the 'book', so the 'book' rejected your arrival and isolated you in another space , this is probably also a protection mechanism. As for me, my wish has already come true, so bringing Qiu here is just a piece of cake."

Ming Qiu was taken aback for a moment, then blushed and said nonchalantly: "Is that so..."

She was indeed thinking about other things just now, such as Osamu Dazai who died in front of her, and other things...

In order to change the subject, Ming Qiu bent down and picked up a book, saying: "What kind of books are these...there are names written on them, are they the authors?"

Osamu Dazai touched his chin and explained: "It should be a book that records all the events of human beings in this world. In everyone's cognition, there should be only one 'book', but in the narrow sense it should refer to a book that can fulfill wishes. 'Book', but everything in this world is recorded, and it will also be presented in the form of a book."

"Is that so...Xiaozhijiang also said about this matter." Ming Qiu was a little concerned, she carefully flipped through the book in her hand, browsed briefly, and then put it back in its original place. She looked at the densely packed pile of books , softly said: "The books here have records for everyone in this world, but I don't... because I am not a person who exists in this world..."

Dazai Osamu noticed the faint disappointment in her tone, and then said as if nothing had happened: "Autumn is a miracle that suddenly came to this world that did not belong to me. This is the correct definition."

Ming Qiu stared at his iris-colored eyes for a moment, then quickly moved away, trying to ignore his own heartbeat, and said, "He's saying these strange things again..."

"Is there anything Qiu wants to see? This is a place where you can see anyone's past." Dazai Osamu said in a very relaxed tone, "For example, to see how stupid the little dwarf slug was in the past?"

Ming Qiu thought about it for a while, and said, "I want to read about you, about your entire past."

As soon as she finished speaking, a few more books suddenly appeared on the pile of books in front of her, with the words "Osamu Dazai" written on them.

Osamu Dazai was taken aback for a moment, and then realized that his hands were tightly held by her, and he could not escape.

He couldn't help showing a wry smile, and said, "Qiu is starting to learn badly."

Ming Qiu showed a small expression of being able to handle him, and his tone was a little more complacent, saying: "Even if I failed in my studies, I learned from you, and it's all your fault."

"Yes, yes, I understand, I will always bear the 'evil consequences' I planted myself."