sickness

During Zang Bai's sudden outburst, Lin Bochuan didn't stop him, and didn't say anything, he just watched this person lose his composure in front of him for the first time.

Lin Bochuan knew Zang Bai well. He looked thin and weak, but in fact he was very stubborn, strong and self-controlling.He is reluctant to reveal his emotions in front of others, because any venting of intense emotions is a sign of weakness.

A few minutes after he left, Lin Bochuan stood up, stepped over the shattered glass, and found someone on the balcony outside the living room.

The balcony is open, there is no air-conditioning, and the height of the 37th floor is noisy with the hot and humid river wind.

The wind poured in from the collar of the shirt that was turned up, blowing up the back of the hem of the shirt, and Zang Bai turned into a balloon, as if it was about to fly away at any time.

Lin Bochuan walked up to him, and tightly grasped his hand holding the railing, like grasping the rope tied to a balloon.

"I'm sorry..." Once the apology is said, it seems that people can learn to coax others without a teacher. "It was my fault that night. I apologize to you. I won't be like this in the future. Don't be angry."

Zang Bai didn't speak.

After saying this, he felt that Zang Bai should at least calm down a bit, and tried to grab his waist again.

As soon as it touched it, it was pushed away.

The wind blew his hair, but Lin Bochuan found that he was not just angry, but rather hurt and sad than angry.This made Lin Bochuan somewhat at a loss.

"Tell me what I'm doing wrong, don't be like this...cough cough cough..."

A gust of wind poured into his throat, Lin Bochuan turned his back and coughed repeatedly, the wind made his cough tremble.

Zang Bai opened the glass door of the balcony with a "kuang", and he went in, followed by Lin Bochuan.The two stood on the inside of the glass door, blocking the frenzied wind from the outside.

Zang Bai asked: "Why did it take so long to apologize?"

"Sorry……"

"I asked you why you live so many days."

"...you don't talk to me."

"I don't talk to you?" "Who didn't come home for lunch the other day, and came home late every night? Who is hiding from whom?"

"...it's work..."

Zang Bai stared at a pair of red eyes, as if he was about to cry: "Obviously you did something wrong, you deliberately ignored me, cold war with me, Lin Bochuan, why are you treating me like this?"

Lin Bochuan's whole face collapsed, he had his own reasons, but it did look like this: "I'm sorry, I..."

"Don't apologize, tell me, why hide? Why come to apologize to me now?"

"I..." Lin Bochuan swallowed his saliva and moistened his dry throat, "I'm afraid that you'll be bored, and I'm afraid that I'll make you unhappy again. I apologize to you, but I can't help it..."

"Are you really not telling the truth? All right."

Zang Bai blinked, and tears rolled down his face. He took a deep look at Lin Bochuan, full of disappointment, then grabbed his phone, and hurriedly walked towards the entrance.

When he started to put on his shoes, Lin Bochuan seemed to forget that he was still having a fever, he only knew that he couldn't let Zang Bai go away.

It seems that this walk is not to step out of this door, but to disappear from his life from now on.

He knew how the balloon flew away, he only needed to be a little careless, careless, and he didn't even know when he let it go.

Lin Bochuan took two steps at a time, picked up Zang Bai, who was bending over to put on his shoes, and hurried back to the room, threw him on the sofa, put his hands on his sides, panting, "Where are you going?"

"I love to go wherever I go."

"do not go."

"Can you handle me?"

Lin Bochuan rushed down and hugged Zang Bai, his hot breath from the high fever hit Zang Bai's ear: "Don't go..."

Another string of tears rolled down the corners of his eyes, Zang Bai closed his eyes, with a choked voice in his nasal cavity: "Then tell me, why are you avoiding me?"

The silence stretched the time infinitely, Zang Bai tried his best to sob in the middle, and Lin Bochuan breathed with difficulty as if his throat was being choked.

Why do you want to hide from Zang Bai?The answer to that question shamed him and frightened him.This is his last fig leaf, once it is revealed, Zang Bai will definitely not accept it, but the other party is so persecuting him.

"Let go of me..." Zang Bai had given him enough time and began to struggle.

Lin Bochuan just tightened his arms in silence, and Zang Bai was even more angry. He stopped struggling, even stopped crying: "Lin Bochuan, don't force me!"

Lin Bochuan had no choice but to let go.

He got up from the sofa, sat silently aside, and murmured: "Don't go..."

"Then tell me why."

Lin Bochuan was like a small animal cornered, so weak and helpless.

Not knowing if it was cold or what, he hugged his arm, trembling a little.His mouth was dry, and he swallowed hard, which only hurt his throat.His voice was hoarse and his speech was weak.

"I was terrified... that night, I couldn't control myself. It made you feel uncomfortable, made you angry because I got up...

"I have desires, I am to you..." Lin Bochuan glanced at Zang Bai, then lowered his head deeply in shame.Fever and shame consumed his extra energy, and his voice became weaker and weaker, "I have a lot of desires, my mind is full of evil thoughts, and I can't control it...

"I'm afraid to hurt you again, just like back then."

That's it, that's it, Zang Bai opened his mouth several times, but didn't know what to say.

"But you don't have to worry... I've already had an injection... I won't..." Before finishing speaking, he shook a few times and fell headlong beside Zang Bai's legs.

"Lin Bochuan...Lin Bochuan...Lin..." Zang Bai stretched out his hand to help him, and everything he touched was hot.

Zang Bai had mixed feelings in his heart, and then he blamed himself very much, it was all forced by him.If it wasn't for forcing him like this, he wouldn't have fainted again. He knew he had a fever, and he felt very uncomfortable.

"Lin Bochuan, wake up, I'll help you lie down in the room..." Zang Bai shook a few times, seeing that he seemed to have regained a little will, he grabbed his arm and tried to prop him up.

"Don't go..."

"No, I won't go."

"Don't go...I'm sorry..."

Zang Bai bit his lip, and with great effort pushed Lin Bochuan to the bedroom, letting him lie down on the bed.

Fortunately, this is the second time, and he already has some experience.Even with the air conditioner turned on, the man's clothes were already soaked in sweat.

Zang Bai took off his sweaty clothes, took the water, twisted the towel, and wiped the sweat off his body.After wiping, put a cool towel on his forehead and underarms to cool him down.

Lin Bochuan half-opened his misty eyes, looking at him vacantly, his powerless hands were hanging on the side of the bed, his strength was only enough to raise his fingers to reach his clothes.

Zang Bai put his hand in his hand, and Lin Bochuan held it weakly in his hot palm. His anger had dissipated, leaving only sadness.

He saw Lin Bochuan move the corner of his mouth, and after a while, he heard him call him: "Ruirui..."

Zang Bai didn't react for a while, until Lin Bochuan shouted again: "Ruirui..."

Zang Bai's nose was sore, he leaned closer to his face, and said "Mmm".

"……sorry……"

"Ah."

"do not go……"

"I do not go."

"Sorry……"

Zang Bai brushed across his face that was as red as a hot iron, and when he closed his eyes, another stream of tears rolled down his face.He choked up and kissed Lin Bochuan's face: "...it's okay."

Lin Bochuan suddenly pressed his hand back on the top of his head, turned his face to kiss him.

He didn't even have the strength to kiss, he finally gave up the exchange of lips and tongue, just sticking.

Zang Bai couldn't help it, cupped his face, rolled over his lips inch by inch, and licked the tip of his tongue lightly.Very hot, very hot, Zang Bai seems to have a mouthful of burnt sugar, the first taste is too sweet and greasy, but slowly you can taste the bitter aftertaste.His tears couldn't stop flowing down, flowing over dry and cracked lips, soaking between the entangled lips and teeth, adding astringency to the sweet and bitter, just like their feelings.

After the kiss, Lin Bochuan seemed to have finally been comforted, calmed down, and fell asleep leaning against Zang Bai's arms.

Zang Bai turned off the light, sat on the head of the bed, let Lin Bochuan pillow on his lap, and recalled what he said just now.

This makes sense, avoiding him because of the reaction.Uncle Hua brought the injection, and after taking the medicine, he came back to make friends with himself.

They don't each take what they need and keep each other warm, there is something else between them.

Zang Bai inserted his fingers into Lin Bochuan's hair, and gently combed it back.He felt tired, hating and resenting was very tiring, loving the object of resentment was even more tiring, he didn't want to be so tired, he decided to forgive Lin Bochuan.

Then forgive the self who forgave Lin Bochuan.

Life is only so long, he has already consumed himself in resentment for ten years, he should stop using the past to torture himself.He should also tell Lin Bochuan this truth, so that he will not consume himself in self-torture and atonement.

Thinking in a mess, Zang Bai just leaned on and fell asleep.

After an unknown amount of time, he was awakened by a burst of rapid breathing and suppressed humming in his arms.

He thought it was Lin Bochuan who was not feeling well, but he yelled twice but found that the other party did not respond. Then he remembered that he had a habit of having nightmares, so he turned on the light and woke up the person who was haunted by nightmares.

Lin Bochuan's eyes were wide open, his body was covered in cold sweat, his chest heaved violently, and he was still absent-minded looking at Zang Bai.

"You're having nightmares again." Zang Bai touched his forehead and then his own, "The high fever subsided a little."

Lin Bochuan closed his eyes again, and when he opened them again, he regained some sanity and showed a tired expression.

"I'll go get you a glass of water."

Lin Bochuan subconsciously grabbed Zang Bai's arm, his throat rolling.

"Just to pour water, not to go."

After hearing the reassurance, he hummed and let go.

After drinking the water, Zang Bai asked, "Is it better?"

"Ah."

"Go on to sleep, it's only two o'clock at night."

Seeing that Lin Bochuan was feeling better, he turned off the light and planned to go back to his room.But Lin Bochuan pulled him back, his voice became hoarse: "Can you stay with me tonight?"

Zang Bai lay down, and Lin Bochuan hugged him.At first, she put her forehead against his back, then turned her shoulders around after a while, and buried her head in his chest again after a while.

"What did you just dream about?"

After a while, I heard him say: "I dreamed of you."