sickness

"..."

Lin Bochuan was caught off guard by Zang Bai's series of questions: "That's not the case, you misunderstood, I can explain..." He went to pull the other's hand covering his face, but was waved away, and then went to grab his shoulder again. Refused, "Listen to me..."

"You said."

Zang Bai turned his head to look at Lin Bochuan, his eyes were very red, as if he had cried, but there were no wet marks on his face.

Seeing his appearance, Lin Bochuan felt as if his heart was being pinched and twisted hard.

He took the other's hand again, holding his cold fingertips.He originally wanted to be more considerate about those things and relieve Zang Bai's worries and anxiety, but he didn't expect that it would be the opposite, and he still messed up.

He lowered his head, deliberating over how to say it.And Zang Bai kept looking at him, quietly waiting for his explanation, or an excuse.

"I came back late at night because I was really busy. The municipal government of the ancient town project gave a lot of preferential policies, and at the same time put a lot of pressure on the construction. I don't want to take the work home to do it, because I'm afraid it will disturb your rest, and I don't want to Mix work and life."

"The matter of the company's Omega transfer," Lin Bochuan raised his head and looked at Zang Bai when he mentioned this, "It's really meant to avoid suspicion. I'm worried that you're worried about it, but it's hard to say it out, so I... Maybe I'm thinking too much. "

Lin Bochuan was also a little embarrassed when he said the last question: "It's not that I don't want to make out with you. In fact, I endure it every day, and I don't even dare to get too close to you... Maybe it's the pheromone treatment during this period. Something's wrong, I'm worried that I can't help trying to bite you in the process..."

That time half a month ago, when he was most excited, the scene in front of him began to become blurred and distorted.He stared at the back of Zang Bai's neck, stared at the tattoo, imagining the feeling of his teeth digging into the flesh and tearing off the whole piece of flesh; he stared at the artery on the side of his neck, and seemed to be able to see the direction of blood rushing , imagining the scene of blood vessels bursting and blood gushing...

He secreted strong pheromones and swallowed non-stop.His soul seemed to be pulled out of his body, he watched himself prostrate on the back of Zang Bai's neck, and couldn't bear to turn those assumptions into reality.Only at the last moment, all rationality turned into an action, he grabbed the pillow and stuffed it into his mouth, taking the punctured cotton cloth as pale skin.In that bloody imagination, he reached an unprecedented climax.

Afterwards, he was terrified and held Zang Bai in his arms all night without daring to close his eyes. As soon as he closed his eyes, it was a dream that he really bit down and was dripping with blood.

He called Dr. Chan and asked if it was a side effect of the pheromone treatment.The doctor said no, and told him that it was the result of Alpha's instinctive need to mark that he could not be released. If he did not mark, this impulse would always exist and could be controlled by drugs.But he is currently undergoing Omega pheromone treatment, which is contradictory to the drugs that control this impulse, so he can only come one by one.

"...Zang Bai, it is impossible for me to dislike you or face you in my life. You know how important you are to me..."

Lin Bochuan only thought it was a misunderstanding, but now that the misunderstanding has been resolved, he hugged Zang Bai again, but was pushed away again.This time he was really annoyed, he pulled him over forcefully and hugged him: "If you have any complaints, if you need me to explain anything, can you tell me all about it?"

He is not afraid of anything, but he is afraid of quarreling with Zang Bai.He considers himself a calm, self-restraining, and fearless person, but whenever he quarrels with Zang Bai, he becomes flustered, sad, worried about gains and losses, filled with human flaws, feels extremely fragile, on the verge of losing control, and wants to cry bitterly.As long as he can stop, he is willing to do anything.

"Can you trust me?" Lin Bochuan was also extremely wronged.

Zang Bai took a deep breath, and he didn't feel any relaxation, instead, he seemed to be sinking gradually in the water, and was about to sink to the bottom of the lake.

"I also want to just believe everything you said, and believe that we are still the same as before, but I know you too well, I really know you too well..." Zang Bai couldn't help but wet his eyes when he said these words , "Your explanations are not for me, but for yourself. You are afraid, have you found out?"

"Since you knew that I don't have glands, you have completely changed. You have carefully protected and avoided this reality, for fear of encountering this reality. You can find reasons for yourself and say that it is for me, to protect my dignity, to take care of me But in fact, the only one who is afraid of touching this reality is yourself.

"You are very scared and disturbed. You experience the pain that Alpha cannot mark, and there is no pheromone to comfort you. You have a much clearer perception of our future outcome than I do. I have lost my glands for more than ten years. Already accepted and used to all this, it doesn't affect me in any way. Now that your pain and anxiety about it have been clearly communicated to me, do you continue to deny it? Can we really continue to whitewash All this, pretending everything is fine?"

Zang Bai's words were as straight as a needle, aiming at the center of the acne and piercing deeply and ruthlessly, and then all the deep-seated uneasiness and gaps spewed out.

Lin Bochuan's Adam's apple was sliding up and down, his throat was dry, the corners of his mouth were stiff, and he could no longer speak.

Zang Bai pushed his arm away from him, and stretched out his hand to pull the door of the car.

Almost at the same moment, Lin Bochuan held down his hand, his chest was overwhelmed, and finally found a word, he begged and almost cried out.

"Ruirui, I really... love you..."

"……I know……"

But not everything can be solved with "love".

"This happened so suddenly. I admit that I was a little panicked. I didn't know what to do for a while. This situation was not within my life plan, so I..."

"I know. I just want to get out of the car and calm down for a while, you go home first."

Lin Bochuan didn't move.

"I just want to be alone for a while..." Zang Bai bit the corner of his mouth that couldn't help but tremble. He was also on the verge of collapse, and at this moment he just wanted to escape and take a breath.

Lin Bochuan finally let go of his hand and let Zang Bai get out of the car.

It was summer in the tea city again, the temperature outside the car was over 30 degrees, and the sun was hot and dazzling.

Zang Bai walked slowly along the sidewalk, as if he didn't feel the sudden heat wave.The crowds and vehicles passing by, the street peddlers braving the scorching sun, this noisy and lively world seemed to have nothing to do with him.These voices seemed to reach his ears through a thick membrane, and his eyes were blurred.

Tears flowed down the corners of the eyes silently, and overflowed from the cracks of the lips into the mouth, which was salty.

He also tried to deceive himself, blaming himself for being too sensitive and thinking too much, but in the end he couldn't do it, he couldn't deceive himself and others.After all, he personally uncovered Lin Bochuan's last layer of disguise, making himself and the other party very painful, but he was helpless about it.

The car behind him blared its horn crazily, because Lin Bochuan was driving slowly behind him, blocking the way of other vehicles.

At the intersection ahead, Zang Bai stopped.

The car behind him approached slowly, and finally stopped beside him. The window was lowered. Lin Bochuan held the steering wheel with his arms, looked at him with tears in his eyes, and did not speak.

The tears that had been so hard to stop just now couldn't help breaking the embankment again at this moment.Compared with himself being sad, he couldn't bear to see the other party so sad.

He pressed his hands on the car window and bent down, Lin Bochuan stretched out his hand to wipe away the wet marks on his cheeks, and called his name with sobs: "Ruirui..."

"...You go home first..."

Lin Bochuan looked at him deeply, and in the blink of an eye, a string of tears also flowed down.

"...Let me stay alone for a while, can't you?" Zang Bai's heart also hurt, but he was too messed up, the whole mess was messed up, and he couldn't care about anything.

The car left with a roar, and the moment it disappeared, he couldn't help it anymore, sitting on a bench by the street, holding his face in his hands.

In the hot afternoon, there were very few pedestrians, and no one stopped for a frustrated weeping person. After all, there are too many weeping people in this world.

It didn't take long for him to completely collapse, and he stopped crying quickly, but it didn't feel better because he was alone.He's messy, and problems once singled out mean they have to be confronted.But he just poked the problem, but couldn't come up with an answer on how to solve it.

The only choice left is to endure the unresolvable conflict between them until the day when Lin Bochuan fully realizes that what he needs is a real Omega, and Zang Bai feels that that day is not too far away, or we can separate now, Before the feelings are completely exhausted.

Zang Bai sat on the side of the street until the sun went down, and the curtain of night gradually opened.He didn't know if he had tidied himself up, at least he didn't want to cry anymore.His mind was always numb and blunt, but he also made his choice.

Unsuitable lovers will only torture each other together, and this moment is just the beginning of this long torture.

Just like an apple, when you find a little corruption on the skin, you think that as long as you deal with it in time, you can at least save the remaining intact part, but when you cut it open, you find that the inside is rotten, and even the part that is not rotten has mold and toxins , can no longer eat.

Their relationship at the moment is like an apple that has rotted to the surface.If you continue, you will only see it completely rotten little by little, but if you give up now, at least you will still think that you have owned a complete apple, and you will still think of the other party's good.

Zang Bai has always thought that he is a cruel person, he is cruel to others and even more cruel to himself, and he is rarely indecisive.While Lin Bochuan seems to be cold, in fact it is just the opposite, especially emotionally, he is a person who completely depends on others.

So let the bad guys do it themselves.