beautiful him

After the rehearsal, Kiyoi took out his cell phone and found that he had received a text message from Iruma.

【Do you have time to have a meal together】

Iruma is a well-known actor with high popularity. Since he met him through work, he often contacts Qingju.It is no secret in the industry that Iruma is gay.Because he was afraid that the other party would pursue him, Qing Ju always found excuses to fool him, but today he agreed to have dinner with him.

"I thought Qingju didn't take me seriously at all. It's a pleasure to come out and have dinner with me today."

The place to eat is a member-only restaurant, and Iruma toasted to Qingju in the private room.It started as soon as it came up, Qingju picked up the cup and clinked glasses with Iruma while thinking, and said with a smile: "What are you talking about?"

"I thought you already had a boyfriend"

"It's nothing like that. It's just that work is too busy. Besides, I have studies."

"Really"

"Of course it's true. Ah, if you don't mind, come and see my stage play next time."

Qingju took out the tickets from his bag.In a few days' time is the premiere of a play in which he will appear as a guest.The rehearsal has entered the final stage, which is also equivalent to his days at Hirashi's house.

"Yeah. But, it feels good and soon develops into a lover, right?"

Iruma asked while propping his cheek.For a moment, Qingju didn't know how to respond.

"Ah, as expected"

"Well, who knows?"

Too lazy to make excuses, Qingju leaned back in the chair.Kiyoi wasn't the type to enjoy being pursued by someone he didn't like.Even keeping a smile on has become too much trouble.

"Is it unrequited love?"

"The other party said I was his favorite person in the world"

"So passionate. Isn't that how I love you so much?"

"is that so-……"

"Could it be a quarrel?"

"Neither"

Qingju hurriedly stopped the sigh that almost leaked out.Although I'm too lazy to keep smiling, I don't want people to see me depressed.

Depression - even so, it is not because of Heping Liang's conflicts.Qingju now sees Pingliang almost every night, and Qingju feels that the relationship between Pingliang and Pingliang has made some progress.From that day on, they started doing that kind of thing frequently.Sometimes sitting side by side on the sofa, suddenly there is that kind of atmosphere.

--is it okay?

I've done it so many times, but every time Pingliang still asks him.Mingming Qingju had already told him that he didn't need to ask each time, but it was still the same.As long as Qingju doesn't agree with Pingliang, he will never touch Qingju.This made Qing Ju's teeth itch with hatred.And every time Qingju was satisfied, Pingliang would immediately hide and solve it by himself.

Not sure why.

In order to prevent Pingliang from becoming negative, Kiyoi has tried his best to get in touch with Pingliang peacefully.He even gave Hirara an idol smile that made the hair stand on end.But Pingliang still hasn't changed at all.He just blindly worships Qingju, and doesn't want to shorten the distance between the two at all.

If you want the relationship between the two to go further, you can only work harder on your own.Tell Hirara that he likes him, and go from a friendship to a relationship.But Qingju couldn't make up his mind.

——Shall I confess to Hirara....

incredible.Or Qingju didn't want to believe it.Why do I like that freak.When I was in high school, I always talked about the king and the last soldier. When I was in college, I always talked about the rubber duck captain and the golden river. The man who always said these inexplicable things.Do you really want to do this?Qingju sighed, and suddenly heard Iruma's laughter from the opposite side.

"When I think of the person I like, everyone's expressions are wonderful"

Oops.Forgot about Iruma's existence.

"It's okay, even if you have a boyfriend, I'll be happy if you are willing to meet me"

Iruma grasped Kiyoi's hand that was placed on the table, and Kiyoi waved it away with a sneer.

"Ah, living in such a cold place is so addictive."

Iruma frowned in fascination.Whether it's Iruma or Hirayoshi, those who have a crush on Kiyoi seem to be such a guy with a bit of an M temperament.Well, although Iruma definitely doesn't want to be compared with Hera.

Iruma is a well-known actor, and of course he is also handsome.And an adult who is used to having fun.But he couldn't give Kiyoi the satisfaction of being stared at by Hirao.Iruma pursued Qingju only out of fun, and he didn't have the feeling of devoting himself to Pingliang.

Kiyoi came out to meet others because he was angry with Hirara who didn't act according to his own ideas, but when he was with other men, Kiyoi realized again why he liked Hirara.The lonely self who was not valued by my parents when I was a child still exists in my heart now.I want to be loved with all my heart.Hope someone can just focus on themselves.Only Pingliang realized the desire in Qingju's heart.

——It's time for me to make up my mind too.

To confess, momentum is the most important thing.Just had a little drink.Alright, I'll confess to Hirashi tonight, and Qingju drank the red wine in the glass in one go.

Iruma invites Kiyoi to the next shop, Kiyoi refuses and sets off to Hirashi's house.

As the tram got closer and closer to the station, it became more and more difficult for Qingju to calm down.like you.Obviously there are only three words, but it is extremely difficult to say them.After saying it, you will definitely feel that it is not difficult.Walking while thinking about these, he arrived at Hirashi's house in a short while.

Anyway, calm down first.Qingju took a few deep breaths, opened the door with unprecedented nervousness, and found many pairs of shoes in the entrance.There were many voices in the living room.

"Pingliang?"

Qing Ju probed into the living room, and the sound also stopped.

"Qingju, didn't you text me and say you're going back to your home tonight?"

Hirara hurriedly stood up and ran to Kiyoju's side.

"That's what I planned, but I changed my mind. Did I bother you?"

"It's okay. Ah, um, these are my friends from the university club"

Pingliang turned around and introduced, and the eight boys behind said "good evening" and "excuse me".They were all boys who looked similar to Hera, and Kiyoi's eyes were fixed on one of them.

Xiaoshan's younger brother.Xiaoshan's younger brother is also staring at Qingju.Although Pingliang said that he would not associate with Xiaoshan, they still seem to be in touch now.Xiao Shan saluted Qing Ju first.

"Good evening. Thank you last time. The stage play is very interesting."

Others asked, "Do you know each other?" Xiaoshan briefly introduced that Qingju is a professional actor who once participated in the stage play of the troupe that his brother helped, and Hepingliang was a high school classmate.

"It's amazing——it's the first time I've seen a star with my own eyes."

"Speaking of which, I've seen you in a drink commercial"

Everyone chattered: "Advertisement?" "It's amazing" "Please sign it for me."When Qing Ju was speechless because of their noise, Xiao Shan advised: "Now is the rest time for others, don't do this."

"Qingju-kun, I'm sorry, because everyone is a little drunk after drinking a lot. Today we came to visit unexpectedly. Because Hirao said that he would quit the club, we came to talk to him."

"You don't need to tell Qingju about these things."

Pingliang said, but everyone immediately complained about Pingliang.

"What are you talking about. You don't know our good intentions at all. Everyone is afraid that you will have some troubles."

"A weak community like ours with few people, why do you want to quit?"

Qingju finally understood the situation.Hirara also seemed to be trying to keep a distance from Koyama in his own way.Although it's a pity that the timing of the confession was messed up like this, but knowing that Hirao still has some ordinary people's sensibilities at least, this made Kiyoi a little relieved.

"Recently, Xiao Shan has not been very active. Don't worry your wife."

"young married woman?"

Qingju couldn't help asking back. "Ah, because Xiaoshan and Heliang have a good relationship," the other party replied casually.Obviously there is no deep meaning.But I still care about it very much, Qingju hates this kind of me.

Qingju glanced at Xiaoshan, and found that the other party gave up a vacant seat for one person and invited Qingju to sit down.Kiyoju was a little annoyed by the attitude of Hirashi's wife, but he sat down anyway.

"Qingju, is beer okay?"

When Hirashi was about to get up, Koyama held Hirashi's shoulders and stood up and said, "Ah, it's okay, I'll go."That intimate look made Qingju even more unhappy.But Hirara just thanked Koyama in a very ordinary way.For the two of them, this level of contact is normal.

—Obviously you tremble with fear when I touch you...

Just when Qing Ju was in trouble, Xiao Shan came back with beer and appetizers.

"I forgot to take out the fried chicken just now. I just grabbed a plate from the shelf and used it. Are you okay?"

Faced with Koyama's question, Hirao nodded and said it was all right.

"It looks like a very high-end plate, which makes people afraid to use it."

"My aunt seems to like collecting these things"

"I don't know if your aunt will be angry if she knows that we use such high-end plates to serve fried chicken nuggets from convenience stores."

Xiaoshan took out his mobile phone and said, do you want to take a picture and leave a certificate? "Stupid" Hirara hastily stretched out his hand to block the camera.It was a completely different and straightforward reaction from when he faced himself, watching these Qingju gritted his teeth silently.Feeling awkward, Kiyoi had no choice but to drink beer blindly, when Hirara brought over a plate containing fried chicken nuggets.

"Bought at a convenience store, do you want to eat?"

"No. I ate it"

"Then let me know if you're hungry. I'll make you ochazuke or onigiri"

"Um"

Qingju hummed and nodded.Looking at these hills, he was puzzled.

"Even though we've known each other for such a long time, Hirao and Kiyoi-kun are as polite as outsiders."

Xiao Shan looked straight at Qing Ju.

"Not so much a friend, but more like a master and a slave"

"……what?"

Sensing the obvious malice from the other party, Kiyoju narrowed his eyes.

"Excuse me, I'm going to the bathroom"

Xiao Shan got up and left the living room, Qing Ju was stunned.

"……sorry"

Hirao apologized softly.

"Why are you apologizing?"

After Kiyoi asked angrily, Hirara closed his mouth with an expression of not knowing how to answer.

A friend sitting across from him asked Hirashi a question, and Hirara answered the other side instead.The ordinary scene made Qingju anxious.Disgusting, annoying, totally clueless freak.Kiyomi always thought that this was the common opinion of all people who knew Pingliang about Pingliang.However, this is not the case.When talking to friends in college and Koyama, Hirara is just a slightly old-fashioned boy who can be seen everywhere.

——Even though we have known each other for such a long time, Hirao and Kiyoi-kun are as polite as outsiders.

——not so much a friend, but more like a master and a slave.

The guy who didn't want to listen to him pointed out the part that Qingju cared most about.Be polite like an outsider.Master and servant.Even Qing Ju himself couldn't deny it.Qingju slowly stretched out his hand, and touched Hirashi's hand under the table.Hirao looked at him in surprise.

"What, what's wrong?"

"what is the relationship"

Hid under the table and took Ping Liang's hand.Even if it is such an insignificant thing, Qingju wants to prove something with this.

"Are you still there?"

"Take it for a while and nothing else"

"But...if it is discovered, it will discredit Qingju."

"Because we're both men?"

“There is also this aspect”

"what else"

"Just like me..."

Negative self-centered again.But the more I was rejected, the more I wanted to do this.Hirao pretended to be inadvertent and wanted to break free, Kiyoi held Hirara's hand even harder.

"I said it's fine, what's the matter?"

"No, but—"

Just when they were pushing and giving way, Qingju felt someone else's gaze.It turned out that Koyama had come back from the toilet at some point, and the moment Kiyoju was distracted, Hirara broke free, "Ah!" Kiyoju couldn't help making a sound.

"...Hirara is very shy"

Koyama murmured as if talking to himself.Qingju looked over, but Koyama sat down avoiding Qingju's sight, and started talking to other friends.That sentence just now was said to Kiyoi, isn't it as if he was forcing Hirao?Although the fact is true——.

Feeling his cheeks getting hotter and hotter, Kiyoi stood up.

"I'm going to rehearse"

"Hey, ah, Qingju"

Qing Ju left the living room without looking back.That kind of embarrassing scene was just seen by Xiao Shan, it was terrible.After locking the soundproof room, Qingju took out the script from his bag and opened it.In short, only by filling my mind with lines can I forget the embarrassing self just now.

I don't know how long it took to rehearse.Because Qingju came out of the soundproof room because of thirst, the corridor was very quiet.There was the sound of water in the kitchen.Qingju leaned over and found Hirara washing things.

"where are they?"

Hearing Kiyoi's voice, Hirao turned back in shock.

"Going back. It's the last bus"

Leaning against the kitchen wall, Qingju snorted.

"Qiuju, I'm really sorry tonight. The club guys are noisy. If I knew you were coming back, I would have rejected them."

"This is your home. Why are you so jealous of me?"

In fact, the words of not wanting them to come again had already flowed down Qingju's throat.

The club guys don't care, but Qingju doesn't want Xiaoshan to come.But it sounded like he was jealous and Kiyoju didn't say it.Although he was actually jealous, Kiyoi didn't want Hirara to know.Thinking of this, Qingju stopped making a sound like an awkward child.

"This is a home prepared for Qingju. I want to put Qingju first"

Hirashi stopped what he was doing and walked over to Kiyoju.Hirao is very gentle.Very gentle.Worship Qingju and dedicate yourself to Qingju.What can I say to make him understand that these make me very anxious.

"Why is this only for me?"

"Eh?"

"Even though you talk normally to the members of the club and Brother Koyama, why are you so polite when you only talk to me? You also talk to me like normal. It doesn't matter if you're joking or using rude words."

"I can't treat Qingju like everyone else"

"But, you make me very upset. What are we? You always worry about my feelings like a fool, we are not friends at all."

"...well, we're not friends"

Hirao lowered his eyes.

"But we're not lovers"

"That's impossible"

Hirao's outright denial made Kiyoju's inner dissatisfaction suddenly heightened.

"What, such a denial"

"Eh, but"

Hirao blinked.here we go again. "What are you guys talking about?" The same attitude, as if he was the one who could get the wrong idea. This attitude made Kiyoi very angry. Kiyoi took a step forward and hugged Hirara's neck, forcefully Kiss Pingliang.

"Wow..."

Hirao reflexively wanted to push away.But Qingju didn't let go of him.Instead, he hugged Pingliang with all his strength, and stuck his tongue into Pingliang's mouth as if giving up on himself.Hirao, who was still hesitant at first, slowly began to wrap his arms around Kiyoi's waist, hugging Kiyoi tightly.See, security mixed with anger welling up in my heart.

"...Would you do something like this with someone who isn't a lover?"

After the kiss, just like that being hugged by Hirao, Kiyoi glared at Hirao, Hirao hurriedly separated as if he had finally come to his senses.No, it's not separation, it's pushing Qingju away.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I'll never do it again"

"I didn't mean that. I—"

Before Qingju had time to say that he liked you, Pingliang had already lowered his head and shook his head desperately.

"I'm sorry, no. It was really my fault just now. Qingju is special. It shouldn't be the object of the behavior just now. I know it in my heart but I still follow the trend..."

Qingju suppressed the anger in his heart.

"I don't understand what you mean at all. Haven't we already done something deeper, why are we so flustered now? You can do it with your mouth, but you can't kiss. Isn't this contradictory?"

Hirao clenched his lips as if being poked at a painful point.

"...Hmm. It's like Kiyoi said. I'm too bad. Just die once."

"I didn't say that"

"But I've been repeating the same thing for a long time"

"Same thing?"

"Whether it was in high school or college, I always wanted to do Qingju."

"doing what"

"........."

Hirara lowered his head with a look that was difficult to speak, ah... Kiyoi remembered.Kiyoi really felt disgusted when he heard Hirara masturbating with pictures of himself in high school, but he doesn't hate it now.Even feel that you just do it.

"It's normal for a man. I don't care"

"I hate this"

Hirao said bluntly, huh?Qingju was shocked.

"After I finished it, I felt very uncomfortable, and I really wanted to die. Every time I swore that I would never do it next time, but it was still the same every time. I wanted to stop but every time... I really won't do it in the future Kiyomi is not the type to do such a thing. I'm really sorry"

Seeing Hirara bowing his head and apologizing, Kiyoi didn't know how to react.The man he likes apologizes to himself and says: I can't do it with you.Even if the reason is because you like it too much, it is true that you were rejected.

"...what is this?"

Qingju tightened his face and scratched his hair.

"Sorry, I'm not good at talking"

That's not what it means.Pingliang started talking about kings, ducks, and monks dedicating their lives to the gods.Although Qingju didn't know what he meant at all, there was only one thing Qingju finally figured out about Hirao's words, that is: Hirao would never become a lover with herself.They have kissed each other, and they have done more in-depth things, how can it be like this now, Qingju couldn't help but want to cry.

"...Did you never think that I might like you?"

"Eh?"

Hirara's eyes seemed to be looking at something unbelievable, and Kiyoi was swept away by a sense of powerlessness beyond anger.

"I'm already self-willed, and you are about the same as me."

I always thought that I was special to Pingliang.There is nothing wrong with that.But what is important to Ping Liang is the ideal Kiyomi that he molded in his mind, not the reality of himself, and Kiyomi finally understands this.

"Even if I spend another 100 years, I won't understand you."

Qingju returned to the soundproof room.Picking up the script on the floor, stuffing it into the bag, leaving the room, and walking straight towards the entrance, Hirao anxiously chased after him.

"Are you going back?"

Kiyoi put on his shoes and looked back at Hirara.

"I won't be back. Goodbye"

"…………Eh"

"Bye-Bye"

He turned his back to Hirao who was still there in a daze.

Stride through a residential area late at night.Thinking that this would be the last time he saw the scenery here, Qingju didn't feel any nostalgia at all.I just feel dissatisfied.If only I could stumble over a small stone in the road and fall over my head now, and forget about this month.How easy it would be.

Qingju has always believed that as long as he confesses, they will immediately become lovers.She put on a smile that didn't suit her, and paid attention to her words so that Hirara wouldn't be afraid to pay attention to herself.Such a self is too embarrassing.

At the station, Qingju realized that he had missed the last train.Damn it, Qingju said dumbfounded, and had to wait for a taxi, but he couldn't wait.In the empty station, his body gradually became cold, and Qingju suddenly had a sore nose.Qingju bit her lip to hold back.How can you cry for that disgusting and annoying guy.