Wutai's happiness lies in persecution

My name is Hideo Hayakawa, and as the name suggests, I am a Hideo.

I am excellent from birth to talent to brain. ——for ordinary people.

Once upon a time, I was also an ambitious person, thinking that I was born to be the protagonist, and I must be a powerful boss in the future.

Until I found out that everyone around me was a monster.

Because of my excellence and background, I got the attention of relevant departments very early, so I spent my childhood in a place that specially cultivates military talents from an early age.

In the initial stage of training and screening, my performance was excellent, and I entered a small class with confidence.

Then she was beaten by a female classmate and was put on the bed for two weeks.

Okura Yeko, I will always remember that cute girl who ran towards me, and how she slapped me into the wall, and it took the instructors a long time to dig me out.

I was stunned by that slap.

I am not the protagonist at all, but cannon fodder or a passerby.

So later, I didn't fight or grab, I just wanted to dawdle.

The classmates in the same class awakened their abilities one after another, and the ordinary me was transferred to a normal police academy.

It's far easier to hang out in the police academy than in the special training class. I can easily hang out until I graduate, and I plan to work for a few years before going back to inherit the family business.

The difference between me and Tiao Ye Caiju, who was in the same class at the time, is that he was begged by his family to go back and inherit hundreds of millions of wealth, while I was ordered not to go home and eat the old before the age of 30.

Probably because I love to touch fish offended the public, I was sent to perform a very dangerous task.

It is said that the colleagues who performed this task are like consumables. After a while, those who are replaced suffer from serious mental illnesses, and some even embark on the road of violating crimes.

I took my boss's instructions to "report and change people in time if I feel mentally ill," and got on the Shinkansen to Yokohama.

Sitting in the car, I found that the mobile phone signal was not very good, so I regretfully turned off the game, opened the file of the mission target that I had sent a long time ago, and looked at it.

The bright sunlight outside the window came in through the car window and shone on my mobile phone. The strong reflection hit my eyes. I calmly closed the curtains and saw four "psychologists" in the occupation column of the task target. Character.

I immediately opened the curtains to let the noon sun shine on my phone, trying to dispel the evil spirit on it. Unfortunately, when I closed the curtains again to look at the phone, the word "psychiatrist" was still there.

A psychiatrist who causes psychological distortions in those around him.

Before praising the other party for "as long as you keep creating patients, you will not lose your job", I still have a question-why this person was not arrested, but kept consuming state officials to monitor him?

With doubts, I continued to read his file.

Before the age of 14, the resume was missing, and after the age of 14, he was a member of the Port Mafia (later became a cadre) → a member of the Armed Detective Agency → a doctor at the Yokohama Psychological Counseling Center.

Good guy, not to mention missing two years of experience in the middle, even this resume is amazing.

Most people are gone when they take the first step.

It can be seen that this person is the protagonist.

Although his personality is not passionate, sunny and positive, but it is bizarre enough, and it is also very open.

And the male lead of the dark type is more popular than the male lead of the holy father recently.

I ignored the red and bold words that read "This person has an extremely dangerous anti-social personality and a high IQ crime. Please keep a distance and monitor, and report the situation to the headquarters at any time. Don't talk to him without authorization." I was determined to build a good relationship with him. , Complete the counterattack from cannon fodder to passerby.

Tell the truth.

Aside from my buddies at the police academy, I'm the only one in my circle who isn't a sociopath.

Extremely crazy, cold and without empathy, extreme and wonderful.The most typical ones are some two of the current army and police hounds.

But I actually feel at ease in putting the security of the country in the hands of such a person.

Maybe the world itself is chaotic.

cigarette jpg.

With the mentality of eating melons, I continued to look at the target person's relationship network, entangled and intertwined, with red marks, all of which need to be paid attention to.

My target person, Osamu Dazai, I would like to call "the social butterfly who is popular in Yokohama, black, white and gray".

The high level of the port mafia, the executive officer of the supernatural secret service, and the members of the armed detective agency, I will all call them Dazai chefs.

And Osamu Dazai, who is able to swim between the various forces and repeatedly jump across the camp without being injured, is the strongest dancer in the minefield.

Gentlemen, I am already excited, I feel that my wonderful life of fishing and watching movies with pay is about to begin!

However, on my first day at work, the target person stole the dried fish.

"Mr. Police, do you actually steal snacks during work?"

When I heard this sentence, I don't know why I suddenly thought of "You have successfully caught my attention", and Lei De almost couldn't hold the Coke in the other hand.

It doesn't matter, as long as I have a thick skin and a natural attitude, this is a normal thing.

"My job is the 007 system. If you don't eat, you will die. I hope you understand and cooperate... Fuck me, put down my biscuits, or I will put personal emotions in the report!"

Of course, this sentence is to lie to him.

I have never written a report properly. I always report urgent situations immediately, and this kind of paperwork that I want to use to fool my boss, I always follow the format and use a sincere tone to talk nonsense.

Having won many literary awards, I often feel that I should be a writer instead of a policeman. I didn't give up this tempting idea until my colleagues found out that I was charged with espionage.

The content is all made up and there is no real plot. Is it my fault that it is too realistic?

My ability to tell lies with my eyes open is to the extent that I can fool any instrument, and I can withstand the test of anyone except that devil Tiaoye Caiju.

So I managed to bluff the target and save my cookie.

Afterwards, I kept a sense of size with a bandage geek, and made an agreement: he would not run around while I was sleeping, and I would continue to write my own report indiscriminately.

I titled my report "Things to Say Between Osamu Dazai and His Patients".Behind each of his patients was a headline-worthy drama of a wealthy family, and it would take me a long time to boil down the story to the length of a report.

Probably because the gossip was well written, I quickly raised my salary and received all kinds of condolences, and my superiors no longer said "go early and return early, I don't want to be put on small shoes by your family" as they did at the beginning, but said "I hope you Stay in this post and save others from fire and water."

Thankfully, there were no acquaintances of mine among the patients.

Because those crazy people don't care about their own madness, and even feel very happy.

Time passed unknowingly, several months had passed since the first day I monitored Osamu Dazai, and I was pulled back for a physical examination and a psychological test.

Except for the weight gain of ten pounds, it is the same as when I left.

I clearly remember that day, the mother who specially used her private power to come to me and check my test report sneered harshly at me.

"When I first met you, I thought it was my illusion that you were fat, but it turned out to be true. If you still look like a ghost at the end of the year, don't go home."

I really bought snacks.

But it is still a little difficult for me to go home at the end of the year. I am irreplaceable in my position. Unless Osamu Dazai dies suddenly or the upper management suddenly lifts the supervision of Osamu Dazai, otherwise I will take this job. 007 has been doing it.

Later, a fairy figure appeared, and the [-]-word praise is omitted here. In short, it is because of him that I managed to go home for the New Year and escape from the black mud of Osamu Dazai.

This person is called Wujo Wu.

It was an unremarkable day, and I saw the door of Osamu Dazai's clinic being opened by the air, and then closed politely.

Then Osamu Dazai and "air" started a friendly exchange.

There also seemed to be an assistant at the clinic who, along with Osamu Dazai, was fooling the poor man I couldn't see.

The victim seemed to have a bad temper, so he directly ordered Osamu Dazai's consultation desk worth 100 million.

Before I could applaud, they were grilling the crabs over the flames at the table.

At this time, the protagonist of the story finally arrived late.

Seeing the changing situation, a tall man with blindfolded rua hair, a very energetic young man walked towards him, knocked on the door of the psychological clinic, and showed his black card.

How many fish ponds do you have at home, and how many fish you sell to have a black card?

I thought sourly, and then I was shocked to see that spirited guy took off his mask and turned into a handsome boy with a pure and innocent face, and I couldn't help but feel even more sour.

Fortunately, while God gave him a handsome face that angered people, he also gave him the character of a silly son of a landlord. I watched him pay a deposit of [-] million yuan for the treatment of eye diseases at Dazaiji.

In this day's report, I used two-thirds of the report text to describe what [-] million can do, and severely reprimanded them for raising prices and wasting money.

My own father, who saw my report, gave me [-] million with regret, and told me to take good care of these two people, and don't let Gojo Satoru be tricked into doing things that endanger public safety.

Ah.

I knew the people above would make fun of my reports when they were bored.

Being so rich, I placed an order for food and tried new expensive snacks, and then threw the exhortations behind me.

Just kidding, if I had the skills, I should go save the world.

Things are developing in an uncontrollable direction.

I witnessed with my own eyes the scandal of "family reorganization" spread between Dazai Osamu and Gojo Satoru, who have been flirting with countless girls.

I understand, let's spread rumors about me and my goddess jpg.

Although the love history between Dazai Osamu and Gojo Satoru shocked all relevant circles, it has nothing to do with me.

I'm just an innocent eater with first-hand information.

As a salty fish who is not aggressive, does not hold grudges, has passed the test of business ability and has no pursuit, and has a little background, my life has been smooth sailing since I learned to give up, but life caught me off guard and gave me a big mouth.

On the day when Osamu Dazai was arrested, a bastard named Ayatsuji Xingren told me that the reason why Osamu Dazai was so doggy and tolerated was because he knew a secret that must never be revealed to the world.

For a while, I hated my clever brain.

Because I guessed what it was when the other party's voice just fell.

Fukuchi Sakurachi, the human hero who I wanted to be the other person when I was young, but quickly became disillusioned after meeting a real person.

Unremarkably died of insanity and drunken suicide.

Jono once warned me not to communicate too much with Osamu Dazai.

It was because of this.

I am not interested in what the other party did to prevent certain news from being known, I am only worried about whether I can live to go home at the end of the year.

In a sense, I who failed to pass the screening was a person who had already been abandoned once, and was sent to Dazai Osamu to monitor him, which was a second exile.Although my parents hold high positions, they are very traditional "public over private" guys, and they would choose "social security and stability" instead of me.

At this time, I regretted being a salted fish without much contribution.

But regret is useless, so I packed two big boxes of snacks and took over the prison where Osamu Dazai was held.

Wow, this is the first time I have seen the scene of evacuating a district's personnel, including criminals, for one person. I can only say that it is indeed Osamu Dazai.

Then Gojo Satoru was also locked in.

I laughed for a good 10 minutes in the monitoring room, but the joy only lasted until they started having some kind of conversation that I wasn't supposed to hear.

In the evening, I was forced to watch some kind of program that should be paid for.

On the second day, he lost the dignity due to the warden and was robbed of snacks and drinks.

Afterwards, he experienced brutal persecution.

Even if I don’t hold grudges, I still hold grudges fiercely. I wrote the story of the two of them into a [-]-word essay and handed it over to the superiors. People think that Osamu Dazai and Gojo Satoru are real.

Afterwards came the more famous Kyoto incidents of "the daughter-in-law came to the door" and "not being approved by the mother-in-law". Don't think it's silly. As an ordinary person who can't see all kinds of special effects, these two are the biggest highlights of the incident.

Later, Osamu Dazai lived up to expectations and killed himself while Gojo Satoru was on a business trip abroad.

I successfully retired from duty!

The next day, I packed my bags and went straight back to my [-]-square-meter mansion. I lay down on my six-figure big soft bed and fell asleep in the dark. I stayed at home for several months and lived a good year. As an older child, I received various red envelopes from the elders of the family, including my parents.

And just when I thought I could grow old with peace of mind, the organization decided to send me to be an undercover agent.

Undercover.

I didn't expect that there would be a day when I would be associated with this word.

My boss pinched my rounder face due to the Chinese New Year, and looked at me with loving eyes: "A person who can endure the torture of Dazai for so long and still be so healthy is admirable. I believe you can do this well." Yes."

They seem to have overly demonized the man "Dazai Osamu".

That's just a person who has lost the meaning of life, so it doesn't matter what he does.

Osamu Dazai doesn't take pleasure in playing tricks on people's hearts, and the occasional pranks are more like sad entertainment.Most of the time, he strangled himself by the throat on the verge of madness, in order to maintain barely lucidity.

At least in my eyes, he is gentler than many people.

And those who have no ghosts in their hearts will only see fireflies even if they stare into the abyss.

With the idea of ​​"the whole world is in a coma and I am alone", I went to the famous organization in black.

A happy-go-lucky person like me is always receptive to the status quo.

According to the process, I gave myself a false identity.

The surname was inspired by Wutiao Wu. I chose one of the two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine without hesitation. The name retained the essence of my real name—Xiu.

But it's not very good to be exactly the same, so I changed it to Xiuyi, Yiyi Xiuyi, what a symmetrical and excellent name!

Yet the name caught the attention of group members.

Toru Amuro, this guy with a "zero" in his real name, looks like a handsome guy with thick eyebrows and big eyes, but he is actually an undercover agent like me.Still a few years before my senior.

At the beginning, he obviously didn't know my identity, but he had an extraordinary enthusiasm for me. He seemed to be very keen on cultivating me into a star figure in the organization. Various tricks.

I got the code name surprisingly quickly, but the title was far from the coolness I imagined.

Bai Ganer.

Ordinary sorghum wine.

Unable to accept the reality, I cleverly translated Bai Ganer's Japanese back into Chinese and became Kapel.Well, it looks like an English name now, so that's what I'm saying about my code name!

I'm such a clever little devil!

Afterwards, I probably ate too much during the Chinese New Year, and felt that the world became very simple after being far away from Osamu Dazai, so I became damn curious——I was very curious about how many undercover agents there were among the core members with code names in the organization .

So I just made up some words that can be understood in various ways to set them up, and one set is accurate.

Tsk tsk tsk, the Black Organization must have been able to develop to the present level, presumably it cannot escape the undercover contributions from the intelligence organizations of various countries.

Reverse the flow of time and bring the dead back to life.

Human beings are always full of exploration and greed.

When I got the big news, I had no one to share except the report, so I sent a message to Osamu Dazai who had been "dead" for a long time.

Actually received a reply.

Give me another chance, I will not be cheap! ! !

But it was still useless to regret, I soon met Dazai Osamu in the organization, not only Dazai Osamu, but also Gojo Satoru.

Gojo Satoru's code name is still Coke, which looks fake at first glance.

I have no way of knowing the joy of Osamu Dazai pouring water into the winery. I only know that I was inexplicably involved in the feud between Shuichi Akai and Toru Amuro.

When I heard Shuichi Akai say, "What do you want to do by deliberately raising a junior with the same name as me", I also wanted to ask them what they wanted to do.

I'm just an innocent undercover eater!

Are you going to force me to join the Shura field of the two of you because of my excellence? !

Whether I like it or not, I have to meet Akai Shuichi often and often break heads with him in this Tokyo where there are only a few streets, every street has Conan's footprints, and every street is full of dead people.

Akai Shuuichi has inherited the consistent tradition of fake liquor in the winery: he is smart and excellent.

He's better than that, at least no one I know has a sniping range of seven hundred yards.

As expected of a man whose name collided with mine.

But as a person who has struggled with all kinds of devils, I don't seem to have much use for my physical skills, so I can punch his handsome face when we meet face.

It is said that another senior of mine died because of him, and another beautiful sister died because of him. A slap in the face should be very satisfying.

Next, let’s talk about Toru Amuro.

That was really bad.

I don't want to complain about his car skills that can drive Gundams anymore, after all, it is a nightmare of my life.

The point is that he clearly knew that I was an undercover agent before the Curacao incident, but he didn't say anything. He kept training me and tried to make me improve.

It is impossible to make progress, and it is impossible to make progress in this life.I can only go back and lie down every time I finish the mission.

It is absolutely impossible for me to work several jobs at the same time like Amuro Toru!

Then I was pinned to the position of the boss of the black organization.

My parents actually had a real fight over this matter, and then they both took annual leave to travel.

Only I was left crying with the legacy of the previous boss of the winery that didn't belong to me, and I had to fight for my interests as much as possible before I lost my way.

Fortunately, after going through this tormenting time, I successfully retired, returned to my family, and lived the retirement life I dreamed of.

Yes, at this time, my assets are actually enough for my retirement, and I don't need to eat my old age.

Later, Dazai Osamu and Gojo Satoru invited me to go when they got married. I was very pleased and refused. Then when I was dating a beautiful woman, I was kidnapped by a monster disguised as a beautiful woman to the wedding scene.

Became the master of ceremonies.

Just because they think my words are more interesting, and the twisted melon is sweeter.

My expression on the spot was exactly the same as that of Xia Youjie in the children's seat.

But no one can refuse Osamu Dazai and Gojo Satoru, and there will be no. The speed of my surrender is faster than I imagined.

"Next, let us bless the couple, and hope that they will have a happy union for a hundred years, hand in hand, and never be separated."

Lock me down thank you! !

At the end of the autobiography, I want to warn everyone who reads it: don't get close to Osamu Dazai and Gojo Satoru! ! !will become unlucky.