Pain at minus 7 degrees Celsius

Cheng Yifan never showed up that night, no one knew where he went.

Maybe only one person knows.

That night in the cemetery where Gu Jingyan was, the old man guarding the mausoleum visited the dormitory for the last week and was about to go back to sleep. Just when he was about to close the gate, there was a loud knock on the door with a strong sense of urgency.

According to the regulations, the cemetery at night cannot be opened to the public at all. There is a saying that it will disturb the sleeping soul. The door asks who is coming.

The person outside the door spoke incoherently, couldn't complete a sentence, and even choked up. The old man once thought that the man was an alcoholic who had drunk too much and pretended to be crazy. .

In the end, the old man made an exception and let the person outside the door in. He didn't know why, but he felt that the man's mournful voice aroused the long-lost true feelings in his heart.

Cheng Yifan borrowed a flashlight and went up the steps, and found Gu Jingyan's tombstone with ease, no matter how late at night the dew was heavy, he sat on the floor, the light of the flashlight was a bit dazzling, illuminating the photos on the tombstone like daytime, the wife in his memory Still stuck in the most beautiful time more than ten years ago, Gu Jingyan smiled gently, always able to have the gorgeous feeling of flowers blooming into the sea.

"Jingyan, I'm sorry."

"I...I dare not go to see Ayue, I am afraid to see our son."

"I'm afraid that when I see him, I will think of my miserable past..."

Cheng Yifan murmured, the dusty memory buried in his heart was so long that he thought that the past was just a mirage and nightmare, as soon as the sun came out, those fantasies would disappear.

How should he tell his wife and children that a long, long time ago, in the softest part of his heart, there lived the figure of a man.

Yes, the first person he ever fell in love with was also a man.

He was wearing washed jeans and a white cotton shirt, running on the campus basketball court, full of youth and heroic.

He would quietly stand under the basketball hoop and watch his running figure from a distance, drawing his clear outline little by little.

That man's name was Gu Jingze, and he was Gu Jingyan's elder brother who died early that year.

Sitting in front of Gu Jingyan's tombstone, Cheng Yifan burst into tears. This was the deepest scar in his heart.

He only dared to comfort himself softly, he was afraid of seeing Cheng Yue and even didn't want to forgive him, because he and his wife had somewhat similar faces, but he didn't dare to face him, Cheng Yue's face was very much like Gu Jingze back then.

"Jingyan, you can imagine my shock when I found out that Ah Yue likes men. The past I have been forcing to forget, those terrible nightmares, I thought they would disappear with Jingze's departure, but , my son, the son I have always been proud of, actually followed in my footsteps."

"It wasn't until something like this happened to Ah Yue that I finally knew what kind of state my father was in back then. I was so mad at my father that my own son did the same thing as I did back then. This is retribution!"

Cheng Yifan stretched out his trembling arms to touch the photo on the tombstone, but he froze in mid-air.

"Jingyan, my heart hurts... more than ever..."

Gu Jingyan's gentle and serene smile made Cheng Yifan's heart ache even more.

This woman has always been smart and transparent. She may have already seen his love for Gu Jingze, but she didn't say anything. Ten years have passed, and the husband and godson have shouldered the responsibility of her brother by herself. responsibility.

Maybe later he really fell in love with this gentle, quiet, tolerant and open-minded woman, but when he was transparent, when he wanted to make up, God no longer gave him a chance.

"Are you also blaming me for refusing to forgive A Yue for so many years, I am not a good husband, I am not a good father, I know the status of my family in A Yue's heart, but I still ignore him, I always thought that punishing him like that would ease the pain of losing you for so many years, but I didn't realize until today that I am just a selfish father!"

"Did you also see the bastard things I did to Ah Yue? You clearly knew that this hospital was the brainchild of your family members, and you knew that he was in trouble, but you still begged him to save Ah Han in such a despicable way. I know, even if I don't ask, he won't just watch Ah Han die, but I still want to measure the family affection that blood is thicker than water with the eyes of a businessman."

"Ah Yue is as stubborn as you are. I have refused to forgive him for so many years. Perhaps, more importantly, I am unwilling to forgive myself. Every time I see him or think of him, I think of Jingze, Thinking of you, thinking of the unbearable past, thinking of my youthful and frivolous past. My father never forgave me until his death, but he still kept his secret about my liking for men. But after so many years, I still couldn’t accept my son’s crimes. I made the same mistake as I did back then..."

"Jing Yan, am I wrong? I am the one who should be cursed the most!"

On the hillside that day, the old man guarding the mausoleum sat under the thick pine and cypress tree next to the row of tombstones with a pipe that had been used for more than ten years in his hand, and looked at the man in suit and leather shoes not far away. The man choked up silently in front of a certain tombstone.

Having been a mausoleum guard for so many years, the old man is used to such scenes of crying bitterly, and there are many people who show off, and the sound of crying shakes the mountainside, but he doesn't know that the saddest look is that he can't even cry .

It's just that those mistakes may be separated forever by the time they want to make up for them.

Cheng Han's disappearance was discovered by Yan Huachong who was doing a routine ward round. A group of people almost tore off the roof of the hospital, and finally found the person curled up in Cheng Yue's office in Cheng Yue's office.

For some reason, Yan Huachong suddenly had an illusion from a short distance away that that figure was the same as Cheng Yue in the past, frail and lonely.

After all, it is the benevolence of the doctor. Although Yan Huachong can't understand Cheng Han's various practices, and even can't forgive him like those who guard the door of the ICU, this person is Cheng Yue who gave up his life To save him with all his strength, he finally found a wheelchair and pushed Cheng Han back to the ward. Fortunately, his immunity and resistance were further recovering and improving, and unexpected complications appeared.

It's just that the man was not as energetic as the previous days, and he lay sluggishly on the bed and let the nurse play with him.

Cheng Han recalled that night when he was disgusted by everyone around him, as if he had switched roles with Cheng Yue overnight. In this world, the person who was spurned and hated by others finally became himself. After Lu Ziqian pulled Xiao Hao away, he Persuading him to leave, the rest of the people didn't even give him a look.

Wandering in despair in those long corridors filled with the smell of disinfectant water, Cheng Han finally understood what it means to be lonely, walking alone, and only then did he fully understand what kind of life Cheng Yue has lived these years.

He even took the elevator to the top floor of the administrative building, went up to the top, and then sat by the guardrail and looked down from the top of the building. His eyes touched the floor of his ward, and he imagined in his heart that in one of the windows, almost A few months ago, how bleak and lonely is the figure.

Why is there no regret medicine in the world?

Thinking like that, Cheng Han actually stood up while leaning on the guardrail, and then stepped over to see the bright lights downstairs and the neon lights flickering in the distance. He really wanted to jump down and end his guilt and those irreparable debts .

After all, Cheng Han still didn't do that.

Cheng Yue's cold and desperate words echoed in his ears, and he couldn't get rid of them no matter what.

He said live well,

He said don't be impulsive and reckless,

He said to stay with Dad well,

He said, please.

Finally understood the emotion contained in those words, Cheng Han sat on the roof and cried bitterly.

Cheng Yue has always been the towering and tall brother in his mind, with extraordinary talent, kind heart, and courage to take responsibility. He has never changed.

However, he lost himself.

Cheng Han cooperated with the infusion, and then asked Yan Huachong's permission to go to Cheng Yue's ward. The couple Xiao Pei and Lu Ziqian stayed overnight and left first because of their respective jobs. The experience of the old couple in the Xiao family After so many things, he has already developed a vigilant mentality, so Cheng Yue's matter can't be hidden, and the two old people hurried over early in the morning.

When Cheng Han came over, he was seeing such a scene. The two irrelevant old men were standing in front of his brother's ward, quietly wiping tears. Xiao Hao still maintained the posture of last night, motionless like a sculpture.

Neither Feng Zhichu nor Qiao Jiawen dared to close their eyes in the ward. They each stared at the data beside the bed to see the dawn. Neither of them heard the reason, and they were unwilling to go out to see Xiao Hao, so they simply sat inside to accompany Cheng Yue.

It wasn't until they went out that they realized that the elders of the Xiao family were standing at the door, and Cheng Han, who was silent not far away.

"How is Ah Yue? Are you out of danger?"

Now in Xiao Hao's eyes, apart from Cheng Yue, it was the two people in front of him. When he saw them, he rushed towards them as if he had met a savior.

The old couple sitting on the bench supported each other and stood up with the same look of expectation.

"There is no danger for now, it's just..."

"Just what?"

"His desire to survive is still not obvious, and he still resists treatment subconsciously."

Qiao Jiawen was thinking about the scene just now, and Cheng Yue was lying on the hospital bed babbling rarely, he instinctively moved his ears forward, slightly removed the oxygen mask covering his face to listen, and heard the few broken words Tears slipped out of the eyes in an instant.

Cheng Yue said, "Don't save me..."

He said don't save him!

He said he was so tired!

He said he worked so hard!

Qiao Jiawen even had a momentary urge to remove the oxygen mask in this hand, or directly unplug those complicated pipelines, perhaps, that would be the best ending for Cheng Yue.

However, he was reluctant.

He couldn't bear it at all.

As long as Cheng Yue still has breath, no matter if he is lying unconscious or relying on an oxygen mask, ventilator and those cold equipment to maintain his life, he is willing.

"Let me go in and see him!"

Under the gaze of everyone, Cheng Han approached step by step, and he saw that almost everyone's eyes flashed with complaints or deep guard!

But this time, he didn't want to back down.

"Let me go in and have a word with him."

Xiao Hao was the first to move, and when he wanted to reach out to grab Cheng Han's collar again, Feng Zhichu, who was standing aside, grabbed him first, but he couldn't stop his anger.

"What are you going to say to him? You still don't understand how he looks like now, do you?"

"I just thought, at this time, maybe I have a little more hope of going in than you."

Cheng Han didn't react too much to Xiao Hao's anger or hatred. Although he deliberately changed the hospital gown when he came out, his face was still far less rosy than before, a slightly pale face. There are not too many expressions on the face.

"Go to the next room and ask the nurse to give you a sterile suit, and I'll take you in."

"Senior Brother Feng?!!"

"Doctor Feng!"

"Let him in."

Facing Qiao Jiawen and Xiao Hao's puzzled eyes, Feng Zhichu didn't know why, it was just a coincidence, or the obedient person's own heart, he always felt that the person who untied the bell had to tie it. Perhaps, at this time, Cheng Han really wanted to Much more useful than Xiao Hao.

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