Don't play games with crazy vests

"There are no monsters, just you, always, always."

"You killed your own shikigami."

From beginning to end, there is only one Hiirago.

This is a strong and flawless Onmyoji.

He has no opponent.

There are no unfounded monsters trying to hunt down Hiirago.

There is only Hirago alone.

The so-called monster is Hiirago.

Hiirago's spirit has undergone absurd changes long ago.

He's been trying to kill himself since sometime years ago.

For some unknown reason or no reason, just because I don't know when it started, an indescribable voice suddenly rose in Hiirago's mind.

It was a completely unfamiliar voice that was occasionally full of terrifying murderous intent, and occasionally made Hiirago feel that it was the most trustworthy voice.

Contradictions and divisions, when this situation is the most serious, it even makes Hiirago often confused where he is.

He was beginning to lose his sense of time and space.

But no one found out.

After all, who can expect to be aware of the silent mental illness ahead of time in the feudal ancient society?

Schizophrenia.

Half a year of getting along is enough for Osamu Dazai to figure it out.

He is like a psychiatrist who doesn't fit his age, he can easily find out the illness that Hiirago didn't even figure out himself.

Humans who don't understand this field often can't tell the difference between "schizophrenia" and "split personality" because of the name.

But in fact, a little understanding shows that these two mental illnesses are completely different.

People with multiple personality splits split into more than one other consciousness.

Even if the main personality didn't notice the emergence of the sub-personality at first, but every time the long-term fragmented memory loss caused by the appearance of the sub-personality, the main personality will notice something is wrong sooner or later.

Hiiragi Wu has lived for an unknown number of years, his mind is so good that he can't find it until now.

Not to mention that the split sub-personality will more or less compete with the main personality for the executive control of the body. Osamu Dazai has never seen Hiirago lose his temper even though he lived here for several months.

Osamu Dazai easily ruled out various other illnesses.

Sensory cognitive impairment - Hiirago's auditory hallucinations, visual hallucinations, the increasingly serious cognitive impairment caused him to be hunted down by indescribable monsters.

Even if I have been fighting for thousands of years, I think that I have merged with the monster under the "unavoidable" situation, and now I still have hallucinations from time to time under the extremely restrained situation.

Hiirago has always been able to feel the monsters dormant in his consciousness, as long as his thoughts show unsteady emotions, these monsters will appear in his life everywhere, so Hiiragi has always insisted.

He insisted not to fall down, not to let the monster in his body reappear.

Hiirago never doubts the rationality of the existence of these absurd monsters. After all, the whispers in my ears and everything I see before my eyes are so real.

He even felt the monster's sticky skin and stinky saliva.

Not to mention that he was chased and killed by these monsters in such embarrassment, and lost the most precious shikigami.

This has always been the motivation for Hiirago to live on.

Hiirago didn't believe the truth that was suddenly revealed from Osamu Dazai's mouth.

Osamu Dazai sat casually in a corner of the pavilion, not at all afraid of the chilling Hiirago who was obviously out of mood in front of him.

This was the first time for the two of them on the top of the mountain, and neither of them had the heart to watch the sunrise.

Osamu Dazai continued to tell Hiirago about the clinical manifestations of schizophrenia without haste.

After all, Zhongwu has been living in seclusion. He has been separated from human society for too long. He just watched the rapid development of human technology, and he has long forgotten that human progress is all-round.

Although there are still many unsolved mysteries in the research of mental diseases, the rapid development of modern science is enough for Osamu Dazai to use it wantonly to attack and coax Hiirago who knows nothing.

Osamu Dazai knew he was guiding a psychopath.

But he feels no guilt.

"Thought disorders—a core presenting symptom of schizophrenia."

Hiiragi suppressed his irritability, and seemed to dismiss Dazai Osamu's words, but he couldn't help listening to it with a little concentration when Dazai Osamu said "core performance".

Not only the character itself, but Kashiwahara Zamo as a player didn't notice it.

It turned out that he was really sick.

With Dazai Osamu's "kindness" explanation, Kashiwabara's game panel changed, and in just an instant, Hiirago's character card had this debuff on it.

【Severe schizophrenia】

【Uncontrollable onset, hard to recover, recurrent attacks, continuous deterioration】

Kashiwahara looked at the debuff on the character card, the font color was dark red, symbolizing a strong sense of ominousness.

But he is not afraid.

After just looking at it lightly, he moved his eyes away.

This little bastard was really right.

Dazai Osamu didn't miss Hiirago's small movements of concentrating and preparing to listen carefully when he was speaking, and his smile was even bigger.

It is also thanks to the electronic equipment specially installed by Hiirago in his room back then, all of this knowledge was found by him using the computer.

"Mental disorders mainly include thinking form disorders and thinking content disorders." Dazai Osamu will not explain clearly to Hiirago in meaningless places.

He skipped these a long list of professional terms, and said to Hirago: "Actually, delusion is the most common and important thought content disorder, and the vast majority of patients will show this feature."

Hiiragi felt that he was directly pierced by Dazai Osamu's stare.

And the most common delusions are...

"Delusion of persecution."

Osamu Dazai is very interested in Hiirago's spiritual world: "I heard that your spiritual world will be wonderful."

He continued almost impatiently: "Delusion of persecution can produce extremely strong defensive attacks because of a high sense of insecurity."

"It's even more severe in the case of hallucinations in the presence of impaired perception."

For example, for the sake of self-protection, an active defensive attack is regarded as an attack launched by the enemy, resulting in cognitive dislocation.

Hiirago's defensive attacks were all determined by him to be from the monsters hiding in the black mist.

What Dazai Osamu said later was not heard by Hiirago.

"Delusion of persecution."

The meaning of this phrase is too intuitive.

Hiiragi can never forget that memory, even though nearly a thousand years have passed.

932 years ago to be precise.

Hiirago always remembers, he just refuses to remember exactly how long has passed.

But at this moment, Hiirago didn't expect to be resisted by him, so he remembered it so clearly.

The memory that tormented him over and over again.

The unsolvable monsters that suddenly appeared, they were shrouded in endless black mist, they had no weakness, they could not be eliminated, even if they were as strong as Hiirago, they were no match at all, he didn't know how to deal with them at all.

Hiirago insisted that those monsters had a very high killing intent towards him.

They were coming for him.

Hiirago could sense that the only goal of those monsters was to kill him.

But now he was caught off guard, and someone came to tell him that these were all fake.

There are no monsters, no black mist, and no unprovoked killing intent on him.

Everything is because of something wrong with his brain, imagined.

He's just a lunatic with persecution delusions.

If, if that's the case, isn't the desperate protection of my shikigami a complete joke?

The so-called toughness, insisting on living, all seem so ridiculous.

Hiirago himself did it.

With those cruel and strange killing methods, each of his shikigami's death conditions is extremely miserable, and no shikigami can even have a complete corpse.

Shikigami cannot refuse his master's orders.

Even if the master wanted to kill the shikigami, the shikigami couldn't resist, and could only watch with his own eyes—hiirago killed them.

At that time, Hiirago looked like a monster, violent and bloodthirsty.

In the eyes of monsters, these shikigami are enemies and must be killed.

Not just monsters, Hiirago's delusion has been persecuting Hiirago himself.

He was running away all the time, exhausting his physical strength tirelessly, almost dying on the way to escape.

At that time, Hiirago was tortured by monsters all the time.

But the last words of the shikigami are for Hiirago to survive.

So Hiirago was very persistent and determined to survive for them no matter what.

It's so funny.

The Shikigami who are loyal to protect the lord finally unanimously insisted that there is another meaning in it.

Hiirago finally managed to save himself with the blood of shikigami.

Although he could treat the symptoms but not the root cause, at least it allowed his overly crazy spirit to reach a certain balance for the time being.

Once it was balanced, it was leveled for more than 900 years, until it met a Dazai Osamu.

The fragile pillars supporting the spiritual world were suddenly broken.

Hiirago at this moment,

Broken mind.

Zhongwu survived the days when he was unable to resist being crazily abused when he was young, and accompanied his teacher through the famine and war that made people miserable.

He is like the protagonist in the storybook, he has gone through all the ups and downs, and the storybook is coming to an end. The protagonist seems to have followed the storybook to live in seclusion, and all the wind and rain have nothing to do with him. From then on, he is destined to live in the mountains A good life.

Seems like it should be.

Weird.

No one knows what Hiirago went through.

A series of extreme environments, being suppressed in the dark by pressing his head since he was a child...

If Hirago had never seen light in his life, then he would just be a normal, ordinary person who died in a dark corner.

It's a pity that Hiirago is a doomed unfortunate person.

What happened to him was very fateful.

Always being rescued by kind and good people after encountering extreme villains, the good people would die because of him, and then Hiirago, who lost his shelter, was found and tortured by the wicked again...

The cycle goes on and on until Hiirago becomes the most powerful Onmyoji no one dares to mess with.

This ends this tedious cycle.

It is impossible for Hiirago who has experienced this not to go crazy.

Therefore, at the last moment, Hiragu finally had a strong sense of contradiction in the face of the unreserved kindness of the shikigami.

He is a conceited and inferior person.

In the darkest corner of Hiirago's heart, he enjoys the kindness of his shikigami with peace of mind and complacently.

At the same time, he feels extremely guilty and thinks that he has been mired in the mud and is not worthy of touching the light.

The long pull was like a blunt saw, pulling Hirago's brain bit by bit, becoming the last straw of madness.

So, he broke.

It's already broken.

At first it just felt like the night was a little longer than before.

And then there was the curtain that seemed to be shaking slightly without anyone exerting any force.

Customized paper doors, vases that change their positions...

Although none of the shikigami noticed, Hiiragi still confirmed that something had entered the house.

A strong uneasiness rose in his heart.

Something dangerous must be lurking in the house.

That dangerous creature wanted to harm him and his shikigami.

That's right, that's it.

Just a few days after Zhongwu "figured it out", one morning, Zhongwu suddenly heard a strange voice coming from his mind.

Not long after that, the increasingly dense black mist surrounded Hiirago's courtyard.

When the black fog is so thick that it is impossible to see any scenery through the fog.

Finally, Hiirago saw those monsters for the first time.

Dazai Osamu's voice was like a thunderbolt crashing into Hiirago's head.

Hiiragi didn't accept it.

He couldn't accept Dazai Osamu's words at all.

If these are false, then why...

Why can he still see monsters standing around the whole pavilion?

Those sticky and terrifying tentacles protruding from the black mist flapped in front of Hiirago, and they seemed to be mocking Osamu Dazai with this swaying movement.

The dense black fog around him prevented Hiirago from seeing the sunrise.

There is no way for sunlight to penetrate in, so how could it be fake.

Not to mention that I can still smell the stench from the monsters at this moment.

Hiirago is still holding on.

He totally disapproved of Dazai's tricks.

Dazai didn't mind either.

He knew that Hiirago had already shown obvious self-doubt.

At best, just wait.

Osamu Dazai knew that reality was just another vain dream to them.

it's the same.

But Dazai Osamu did not expect Hiirago's next move——

After listening to what Osamu Dazai said, Hiirago sat straight on the spot and waited until the sun rose to the highest point in the sky before making any movements.

It's already noon, Osamu Dazai got up at four o'clock in the morning, and he hasn't drunk any water until now. His stomach is conveying the message of hunger, and his mouth is a little dry and flaky.

it's fine.

Osamu Dazai knew that Hiiragi needed time to calm down the storm in his head.

He even looked forward to it.

Looking forward to destroying a person, or looking forward to going out and playing your own suicide game without worry.

None of this matters.

Until now, Hirago said: "No, actually you may have guessed completely wrong."

He still hasn't forgotten his smile.

It doesn't matter, the black mist has dissipated, and he imprisoned the group of monsters again.

So he won.

He is right.

On the surface, it seems that Hiirago is not affected by Osamu Dazai at all, he has digested Osamu Dazai's offensive methods and restored his previous calm.

He said with great certainty, "I'll show you a piece of evidence."

Osamu Dazai didn't know what Hiirago was going to do, but he still sat upright and motioned to Hiiragi.

Hiirago immediately stood up.

Dazai Osamu did not expect that the "evidence" that Hiirago said was actually in himself——

Hiirago took off his shirt in front of Osamu Dazai.

He turned his back to Osamu Dazai and loosened his robe.

Using a little force with his fingers, he pulled the corner of the clothes and pulled them down. With the slight sound of the clothes falling, Hiirago's entire back was exposed in front of Dazai Osamu.

From the slightly raised swan neck, to the smooth waistline, from the narrow waistline to the invisible place hidden under the belt, Hirago's back is fully reflected in Osamu Dazai fundus.

On the white to reflective large back, you can see the smooth and delicate skin.

Under the sunlight, the tiny white fluff is faintly illuminated by the sun.

very nice.

Don't get me wrong, Osamu Dazai is not one to glorify same-sex bodies.

——He was admiring the row of steel needles nailed to Hiirago's back from the bottom of his heart.

On the seemingly weak back, 24 long nails were firmly nailed into Hiirago's spine, densely arranged.

If you don’t look carefully, it’s easy to mistake these exquisitely crafted iron nails for a row of delicately connected and exposed metal spines.

The nails are driven into the bone marrow in a special way. Not only does it look good, but the peculiar angle of the nails makes it difficult for others to find that there is such a row of protruding nails.

If it wasn't for Hiirago taking off his clothes for others to see, outsiders wouldn't be able to find out.

These things attached to Hiirago's back look more like exoskeleton products from the future.

At this time, under the sunlight, it was glowing with a cold metallic luster.

But if you take a closer look, you will find that these spikes are all carved with dense incantations that Osamu Dazai can't understand.

There are different incantations depicted on each spike, they are deeply nailed into the body of Hiirago, and they are all knocked into the spine of Hiirago by a special method, but it does not affect any of his behaviors at all. Go, run and jump when you should, just continue to run and jump like before.

Even after Hiirago got used to it, he couldn't feel the pain in his back.

After a long time, Zhongwu deliberately ignored the influence of this row of nails on him, since he didn't have any sense of existence anyway.

Osamu Dazai narrowed his eyes, admiring everything in front of him without any emotional fluctuations.

He's not interested in men's bodies, but look at this strange row of metal spikes this way...

The 24 exquisite nails driven into the spine really have an impact of too violent aesthetics.

Osamu Dazai never knew that Hiirago had so many nails on his back.

When Dazai Osamu was most likely to find out when he was soaking in hot springs with Hiirago.

But that time the mist floating on the hot spring was too thick, and Dazai Osamu had no interest in Hiirago, and just wanted to leave hastily, so he didn't notice the abnormality of Hiiragi's back.

Tsk, this thing looks pretty good.

Osamu Dazai was already thinking about whether it would be feasible for him to commit suicide with these nails.

If it didn't hurt so much...

It's not impossible to give it a try.

What interrupted Osamu Dazai's thoughts was what Hirago suddenly said: "They made this."

Hiirago's voice was flat.

He didn't know what was wrong, but he would actually show the worst side of himself.

The 24 nails on his back represent all of his 24 shikigami.

Facing unsolvable monsters, how could Hirago compromise them all without paying any price.

Hiirago insists that every nail bears the evil intentions of monsters.

"The monsters nailed it in themselves."

Hiirago turned around and said to Osamu Dazai while putting on his clothes, "Do you understand?"

He is correcting Osamu Dazai.

Obviously these monsters are real.

The 24 long nails made of special metal are the source of the extreme pain that Hiirago experiences once every three weeks.

It is a torture instrument that stimulates the flesh and blood non-stop, and it is also the way of atonement that Hiirago has set for himself.

Osamu Dazai should have noticed it.

Hiiragigo has abnormalities every three weeks.

Osamu Dazai watched Hiiragi put his clothes on again.

He thought - Hiirago was trying to prove to himself.

So in the end, Osamu Dazai won.

Hiirago stared at Osamu Dazai who said nothing, and there was still an inexplicable irritability in his heart that could not be eliminated.

He knew that ever since he came into contact with Osamu Dazai, he became more and more wrong.

It was Dazai Osamu who blinked and said to Hiirago first, "Just kidding."

"I just wanted to talk to you."

Osamu Dazai got up and was about to walk down the mountain: "Don't take it seriously."

Hiirago didn't relax because of Dazai Osamu's sudden change of face.

In fact, he was right to be wary.

Osamu Dazai already knew that he had succeeded in leading Hiirago.

It doesn't matter how Hiirago answered.

Those 24 nails are the windfall that Osamu Dazai knew this time.

Just suddenly, Hiiragi called Osamu Dazai who was about to leave.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?"

Hiirago said lightly, "I'll help you."

Bai Yuan was not ready to change his mind.