Do not hesitate

Fanwai (Si Luochen San)

I always thought that my college life could be spent carefree.

Unexpectedly, when the holidays approached in the first half of the junior year, the Si family faced difficulties. To be precise, they received a threatening letter.

That was the first time I saw the panic in the Si family.

My mother was worried about me, and immediately asked my father to send someone to pick me up from school.I was happily taking a walk with Xiang Qiantong after dinner, but I saw my sister standing there, looking at me with a bad face.

I was curious about why my sister suddenly appeared at school. Unexpectedly, my sister pulled me aside and briefly told me about the situation at home. I knew that I had to go home immediately to prevent my family from worrying.

Turning around, I saw Xiang Qiantong standing there quietly. Before I walked over, she smiled and said, "Hurry up and go back if you have something to do at home. Don't frown for me. It's so ugly. I'll ask for leave from the teacher."

I knew what she meant, and forced a smile on the corner of my mouth: "Call me ugly? You wait for me, and come back to settle accounts with you."

Xiang Qiantong took two steps back, and said indifferently, "I'm afraid you won't make it, so come back and settle the score with me after you've dealt with it."

"You wait!"

"I am waiting."

After she had retreated a certain distance, she turned around and left gracefully.I looked at her flicking her ponytail, and my worry inexplicably faded a lot.

"Who is she?" My sister asked me from behind.

"Xiang Qiantong." My eyes kept on her.

The elder sister didn't say anything else, she raised her eyes to look at the figure that was fading away and said, "Go home."

I nodded with a "hmm", turned around and left with my sister.

When I got home, I realized that it was a misdiagnosis in the private hospital under the name of the Si family.This is not a trivial matter for the hospital. Although the media was suppressed, it did not have much impact.But the misdiagnosed patient has a very deep background, and even the Si family has a three-point taboo.

It was the first time I saw my father seriously talking to my mother about how to solve the problem. The father who smiled when he saw his mother had already forgotten that appreciation.

Who is it that scares us so much? I took my sister's arm and wanted to know something from her.

Si Ruonan naturally saw my doubts, but the corners of her mouth curled up slightly, and she shook her head at me.I know she doesn't want me to worry.

For the next few days, I stayed in my room, although the house seemed extra empty even though my parents were there.

Because everyone is so serious, it scares me.

Who did our family offend?

I closed my book and tiptoed out of my door.It was noon at this time, and all the servants were resting. I was looking for my sister, but I overheard voices from my parents' room upstairs.

Out of curiosity, I walked up the stairs. I was glad I didn't wear shoes, otherwise they would have heard me.

"I can't agree to this matter! Don't forget that the Si family is a medical family. If you do this, it will ruin the Si family." It was the mother's voice.

I'm curious, what could destroy our Si family?

"But their existence is to make medicine more advanced, isn't it, Shan Yu." This is the voice of my father.

they?

……

I suddenly realized that I gasped, and my heartbeat inexplicably increased.

It's them!

I didn't dare to listen to the conversations that followed, because I was afraid... I was afraid of knowing my parents' secrets, and I was afraid that their conversations would cast a shadow in my heart.

In my eyes, my parents are always smiling and kind. I don't dare to think too much, I just want to leave there as quickly as possible and run to my room.Picking up the book I just finished reading, I read it patiently.

But I admit that I can't see anything in front of me at this moment, I just feel that something is pressing on my chest, making me breathless and uncomfortable.

I could feel my breathing getting heavier and I finally stopped my restlessness and closed the book.Standing up, there was a purpose circling in my mind: I want to go back to school, I want to see her!

For dinner, my parents ate with me and my sister as usual, but I didn't feel as natural as before. Fortunately, I have my plan.

"I want to go back to school. This semester's courses are relatively cumbersome, and I don't want to miss too much." I said after finishing my meal and putting my chopsticks away.

The eyes of my parents and my sister fell on me.

"Luochen, how about a few days?" Mom said softly, "I'll ask your father to arrange some people to take you to school. They won't affect your normal class."

I knew this was my mother's last concession, and I just wanted to leave as soon as possible, so I agreed without hesitation.

"But you have to promise me that you will call home every day, huh?" Mom looked at me with a smile, her eyes seemed to see through me.

I felt very guilty, so I could only lower my eyebrows and nod in response.

My mother kept her word, and I went back to school a week later and saw the figure who was studying hard.

"Qiantong." I called her.

She turned around and said with a sullen face, "You've come back. If it's a few days later, I'll be exhausted."

I didn't understand what she meant "Huh?"

"In the past few days, I have made notes for you. I originally wanted to use mine to copy, but you also know that only I can understand the words I copied from the notes."

I couldn't help but smacked out a smile.

"You have no conscience, you still laugh at me, I know your handwriting is beautiful." He said and handed me the notes behind him: "I copied it carefully."

Looking at her like this, all my troubles were thrown away.

A few days later, my life was back to normal, and those people really did not affect my life as my mother said.Xiang Qiantong and I took a walk on the playground to digest our food after lunch, but she suddenly pulled me quickly to the back of the teaching building, looked around, and asked softly, "Luo Chen, did you notice anything?"

I looked at her puzzled, but my heart was beating wildly, she was too close to me at this moment.

"what?"

"Recently, there are always some people around you, very suspicious." After Xiang Qiantong finished speaking, he looked around again.

I was secretly delighted that the people my mother sent were the most capable people around my father. If I didn't know their existence, it would be difficult for me to detect it, but she could detect it.

She never pays attention to emotional matters, let alone find out who likes whom.But about me...Qiantong, are you sure you have the same feelings for me as everyone else?

But in his heart, he didn't dare to expect extravagantly.

"Didn't you notice?" She looked at me puzzled.

I held her arms and said frankly: "Don't worry, they are the bodyguards of the Si family. Something... happened at home."

She frowned slightly, and said worriedly: "That's why your sister came to pick you up specially? You came back after the family affairs were not handled properly? Stupid, what should you do if you have something to do?"

It was the first time I saw Xiang Qiantong speak so loudly to me, it was really bold.But in my heart I was very happy.How I wanted to tell her that I came back because I wanted to see you.But this kind of words can't be said all the time, maybe it can only be kept in my heart for the rest of my life.

I took two steps back, tilted my head and hummed: "Then you'd better stay away from me, so as not to affect you."

I don't know if this joke sounded different to her, but she just looked at me fixedly, then lowered her eyebrows, and didn't say anything else.

Is she angry?

After that, she resumed the past and took me back to the dormitory.All the way...she didn't speak, and I didn't ask.

It's just that in the days that followed, Xiang Qiantong's attitude changed subtly.No matter what I do, where I am, even when I go to the bathroom between classes, Xiang Qiantong is always by my side.

Only at this moment did I realize that Xiang Qiantong was a person who was less able to express himself than I was.

I am not the same as Xiang Qiantong in the elective courses. The teaching building is far away. She drove me to the front of the teaching building on a bicycle and watched me go in before leaving.After I finished class, she supported the bicycle, and her tall and straight figure stood upright under the light at the door, as if she had never left.

Just looking at her, my mind was thinking of the fairy tales I read when I was a child. I really wanted to veto my sister's words. Shakespeare is not the only one who knows love.

The 14-year-old Romeo and Juliet may already know what love is, but the way of expressing it is different.

I smiled and walked towards that figure.

Two figures strolled through the campus accompanied by the sound of bicycles' rattling rattles.

"With them around, nothing will happen to me. You don't have to deliberately work so hard every day. And how long has it been since you attended the student union party, Qiantong?"

She let out a disapproving "Huh?"

I stopped, looked at her and said seriously: "I'm fine, if something really happens, I don't want you to be fine, you know?"

She didn't answer my question right away, she just parked the bicycle aside, put her hands in her pockets and held her thin shoulders, took a deep breath, and let out a long breath.Looking up at the dark sky, he said leisurely, "Luochen, although I like to meet people, I often attend student union gatherings, and every time I get drunk, I ask you to pick me up. But in my heart, I really want to care about you." Only you. Without you, I would not let myself get drunk. "

I froze in place, staring at her fixedly, I knew she hadn't finished speaking.

"I know I don't have the skills of those bodyguards, and I don't have the intelligence of a detective like Shaoke..." She paused again at this point.

I stood quietly on the spot, looking at her slender back, my heart beat uncontrollably.

She turned around, looked at me with piercing eyes, and said with a relieved smile: "But I will protect you with all I have! Because I can be sure that if something happens to you... I will be very sad."

She smiled so freely and so warmly.Every word she said, every word, stirred my heart.

"So... I will protect you in my own way. Anyway, just don't find me annoying..." Before she finished speaking, I ran to hug her, and I couldn't say anything at this time , just want to hold her tightly.

"Luochen?" She called me softly.

I knew that I had to control my emotions, bit my lip and pushed her away, and said with the corner of my mouth hooked, "I'm going to annoy you to death!"

"what?"

I ignored her, smiled, turned and ran away.I knew that if I didn't run away, she would see me trembling nervously because of her words.

After I didn't run far, I heard the sound of a bicycle behind me, and I rang the bell twice, and the car stopped beside me, and said to Qiantong with a smile: "Miss, do you want to take a ride?"

"Looking like a hooligan, who wants to take your broken car!" I glanced at her and continued walking.

But she slipped the car and continued to follow me: "Then why don't I go?"

"you dare!"

She just smiled and said nothing, and finally I sat behind her, hugged her waist, and went back to the dormitory along this road.

I looked up at the last quarter moon, and I seemed to understand Li Bai's mood.I told myself that I will always remember this night and every word she said.

----------

The existence of bodyguards followed me until half a year after my graduate studies, when the crisis of the Si family was completely resolved, and my mother withdrew all the bodyguards.

At this time, only Xiang Qiantong was by my side.

Lu Hui didn't continue her studies after graduating from university, because she met someone she liked and planned to be a good wife down-to-earth.

But Wang Shaoke was preparing to open an office, and the four of them only had time to get together occasionally.

Unexpectedly, in the first half of the second year of research, I almost lost Xiang Qiantong because of an accident.

In order to save me, she desperately blocked the knife for me. I saw the knife pierced straight into her back. At that moment, I almost thought that she would disappear from my world.

——I don't have the skills of a bodyguard.

——No Shaoke's detective mind.

——But I will protect you with all I have!

What is crying without tears, what is painful, I experienced it almost at the same time.

Fortunately, in the end, she was fine.

And I always thought it was just an accident.

The author has something to say: the mood is not very good.

People said that they didn't seriously write the articles of Lily's novels, and used the logic of reality to cover the authenticity of the novel world... Don't you think it's ridiculous?In my eyes, I have always felt that novels are imaginary, just like abstract paintings, what kind of effect you get when you read it with any mood.

It's like holding a book I like, and the mood is different every time I read it.Well, you don't have to like my novels, but you have no right to say that I didn't write them seriously.

I admit that I am a novice, the writing style is very raw, and the description of many things, characters and scenes is not in place, but I will continue to work hard.I write this novel with my heart, not only to be worthy of every reader who reads my novel, but also the children I write about.

The purpose of my writing novels is to express my views on feelings. No matter what I experience or how difficult it is, there is always a kind of positive energy.

And writing novels is something I have always wanted to try, but I have always been a reader, and now I dare to write with a pen, and do it with the mentality of writing as long as I want, regardless of winning or losing.

Therefore, please don’t use your values ​​to subjectively look at me who write novels with my heart.You can say that my writing style is rusty and the characters are not portrayed enough, but I accept it.Because I admit that I am a novice, reading more novels and writing novels are two different things.

You said that Qiantong in my pen was a failure.I want to ask, do you know what failure is?It's this novel, I'm stuck, it's unfinished, I think it's a failure.

The fullness of the characters, if you haven't finished reading this novel, you have no right to judge her as a failure, you can say that she doesn't meet your ideals enough.

Everyone in my writing, from the four protagonists when they were setting, I kept thinking differently. If I were them, how would I deal with this matter?

They are the characters in my writing, and I don't like to use a fixed personality to define and restrain them.In the running-in of the years and the advancement of the time of the novel, I have made progress with them, making continuous progress.

I hope that the people I write are alive, have temper and character, fear, cowardice, and timidity.Sometimes a little bad, sometimes willful, etc...

As for Qiantong you mentioned, let me ask.If a person who has nothing is liked by someone like Si Luochen, how does she feel?

If I put myself in my shoes, I would be at a loss.Because I don't know what to give her, what to give her!If you are not careful, you may lose a lifelong friend.

Then I asked why Si Luochen liked her, because Qiantong was real enough, she didn't want anything from Si Luochen, she just cared about her with all her heart, she was meticulous, and she could even protect her with her life. precious.

I have written these two chapters.

To be honest, I feel sorry for Xiang Qiantong from the bottom of my heart, because she must like Si Luochen, this is all arranged by me.I was also tangled in my heart, if I wrote that she was very bold, even mysterious and skilled like Shen Lue, and had a detective mind like Wang Shaoke, or would it be easy for Yilin's family?

No! ! !That's not my ideal Xiang Qiantong.I believe that in this world, there are many people with a personality like Xiang Qiantong who are not good at expressing themselves and just want to do what they think is right with their heart.

You can say she is cowardly, but she persists.

This point of the gap is written in my memory, if I want to buy a piece of clothing for Si Luochen, I won't be able to save enough until I'm in senior year.Such a big disparity, what do you want Qiantong to do?

She is not confident in her relationship, even cowardly, who of us has never been like this?

Didn't the blood of youth become our memories?Lost, gained, in my eyes is proportional.

I am a more serious person, so I nag when I saw these.

In my eyes, I always feel that fiction is lighter than reality, and I think it will always have its ending.That's why I like to write, I just want to make the reality a little better and the novel a little more real (I mean emotion.) Let those who dare to chase love not shrink back.Always believe that there is the existence of the word happiness.Maybe my words are not in place, but I will continue to work hard for it.

So I hope every reader, not to cherish the author's painstaking efforts, but to respect the author's intentions for the novel.

Finally, thank you for your continued support.

PS: Thank you for supporting me all the time and throwing my overlord ticket: Chenyiyun, cat~kill, Xianghuaihou, Kinoshita friend, Susu, word picker, old time, September, 15552000, Buddha said, Fengya, Lang Zi, negative score, fengmuxue, in no particular order, thank you very much, bow down.

——You Yue.