Do not hesitate

Fanwai (Si Luochen II)

I am not good at communicating because I feel that no one will understand me.

Because I knew from a very young age that neither the world nor the Si family will change because of a single thought or word of mine.

I once took that "Romeo and Juliet" over and over again, and I wrote a big post-reading review for this.

My sister laughed at me after watching it: "You are so young, you fantasize about love all day long."

But she is not very old when she said this, but she seems to know a lot.

"Don't sister think such feelings are very touching?"

"What do 14-year-old Romeo and Juliet know?" My sister smiled and said, "The only one who knows love is Shakespeare."

A word from my sister woke me up.

At the same time, it broke my fantasy about the fairy tale world.Those pure feelings are just the product of the author's writing. Their thoughts and souls are given by the author. It is really deceiving feelings to outline each child's innocence in such a form.

Since then, I have stopped reading fairy tales and never shared my feelings for fear of being reciprocated.

Until I met Xiang Qiantong.

When I realized my feelings for her, I was so scared that I lost sleep for the first time.

At the bottom of the dark night at three o'clock in the morning, if you breathe quietly and close your eyes, you can see Xiang Qiantong smiling, or her studying hard.The body gradually sinks in every inch of fresh miss.

Immersed in her every word, every laugh.

Suddenly, I sat up, turned on the lamp, took out my notebook and started writing.Because I'm not good at communication, so... I didn't know that I wanted to talk so much. I gripped the pen and wrote quickly in the diary, eager to grasp every minute, even if it was a fleeting tremor.

In a blink of an eye, I have written a page.

"Luochen, why are you still awake at this late hour?" The voice behind me interrupted me, I actually forgot that I was still in the dormitory, here were me, Xiang Qiantong, Lu Hui and Wang Shaoke.

I closed the notebook as fast as I could, and said softly, "Suddenly I couldn't sleep and wanted to write something, did I disturb you?"

Xiang Qiantong shook her head, and sat down on my bed gently: "No, I can't sleep either, do you want to go outside for a walk?"

"Let's go?"

She smiled and nodded "Yeah".

At this moment, I can't fall asleep at all, it's only her when I close my eyes, and now she is sitting opposite me, how can I refuse?Nodding in agreement, the two of us walked out the door lightly with our coats in hand.

In the long and thin corridor, she led me skillfully out of the dormitory and onto the quiet campus lawn.

She stretched her arms and took a deep breath: "The air is still the freshest at this time."

I just smiled and said nothing, and looked at her back without squinting. I asked myself: since when did I only see one person in my eyes?Since when can only one voice be heard in my ears?

I shook my head.

I don't know at all!

This feeling is as if the forest has not rained for a long time, and a spring rain suddenly ushers in. Green grass and green leaves sprout little by little, which is uncontrollable, but when it is discovered, it has already sunk into it, unable to extricate itself.

Many years later, I still remember the figure of Xiang Qiantong under the night sky.

I have seen enough of those girls who are college students who are as smart as society, and have seen enough of them playing with other people's youth with their own minds, so I cherish that day extra. Under the night sky, Xiang Qiantong smiled with shining eyes. Pure cuteness.

***

I remember that the second half of my sophomore year was another warm and pleasant afternoon.She and I bought two bottles of water and sat on the lawn, enjoying the baptism of sunbathing with our eyes closed.

"Luo Chen, do you know? Today Lu Hui had a fight with Shao Ke." Although it was a serious matter, it was fun to say it from her mouth.

"Shaoke scolds, you can let her do it." I followed her and took a sip of water, the glare of the sun made my eyes narrow.

"I envy her. It's just because of Lu Hui's words that she can connect so many things together to prove that she likes seniors." She said with a smile: "I didn't expect Lu Hui to really like seniors. Usually she always likes seniors." It was a show of teeth and claws, and at that moment I thought it was so funny."

Being basked in the sun was so comfortable, I lay down on the lawn and said lightly: "Lu Hui likes seniors, anyone with a careful mind can see it." I covered my eyes with my right arm and said calmly.

"You...you know too?"

Although I closed my eyes, I could still imagine her incomprehension by listening to the tone of voice. I must be thinking that what I meant was that she was careless.

I hooked the corner of my mouth and said with a smile: "Yes, I knew it from the first time Lu Hui saw the senior."

The people around me didn't speak for a long time. I raised my arms and opened my eyes slightly. Seeing her looking at me intently, I was stunned: "What are you looking at me for?"

"I was thinking, why can't I see it?"

I smiled and said frankly: "That's because you have never liked anyone, so it's normal to have blind spots."

Unexpectedly, she turned her eyes and stared straight at me, which made me feel hot on the face, "Why?" I asked casually curiously.

"Luochen, do you have someone you like?" The question was straightforward, but I didn't know how to respond for a while.I just think it's funny, this hole was dug by myself, so naturally I have to fill it myself.I suppressed the fluctuations in my heart, and explained what I just said: "I mean, you have never considered emotional matters. I asked you some time ago, and you said that if it was possible, I would rather not have someone I like... You who are thinking, it’s normal if you don’t see it.”

It can be seen that Xiang Qiantong thought about it seriously, and then said: "It's not that I haven't thought about it, I have thought about it too."

"Oh?" This made me very curious, what kind of person would you like?I never thought that Xiang Qiantong would think about these things, I thought she was only thinking about professional courses.

I put my hands behind my head and squinted at her, waiting for her answer.

Even if it has nothing to do with me.

"It's hard to say, but at least it feels better."

Such an answer made me stunned for a moment, and then I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Only an emotional idiot like her could say this.If you don't even have the most basic feeling, how can you talk about feelings?This is also called having thought about it. I really overestimated Xiang Qiantong's view of feelings.

Based on her experience from childhood to adulthood, she must be extremely afraid of feelings, so she deliberately avoided them in her heart.

I admit, I understand.

"You laugh at me!"

I closed my eyes and ignored her, but she kept sweeping a piece of dogtail grass in her hand from nowhere on my face, and said with a mouth full of displeasure: "What I said is not right, is it because of feelings? It's not like this?"

My face was itchy, I frowned slightly and grabbed her hand, holding it, with a smile on the corner of my mouth, I didn't answer her right away.

Looking at the blue sky with slightly squinted eyes, there is a large cotton candy-like cloud, transformed into a seahorse by the artist traveling through the sky, and there is a heart-shaped white cloud not far away, reflected in the blue sky, it is really beautiful.

Looking engrossed, it was obvious that the people around him were not happy.

I pursed my lips to play with taste: "I didn't laugh at you, I obviously think what you said is very reasonable!"

I knew that my words didn't satisfy her, so I broke free from my palms, hugged my knees, and said, "Then tell me... what kind of person do you like?"

"Me?" Unexpectedly, the conversation turned back.

"Yeah, see what's different from mine."

Feeling her persistent pursuit, it seems that there is no way to avoid this topic without saying something.

Helpless, my eyes fell on her, sweeping over her exquisite facial features, and those eyes that are always serious.The corner of his mouth hooked, and he said: "The person I like...not only has a good appearance, but also has a rich inside, at least give me the feeling of 'just thinking about it'. Of course, the most important thing is that I like... ..."

Unexpectedly, I heard her humming.

This time I was curious: "What are you laughing at?"

"Luochen, I've told you every secret since I met you. I told you about my parents and my school transfer when we first met, didn't you?"

I don't understand why she suddenly said this, and admitted with an "um".

Seeing me nodding, she continued: "But, you don't want to tell me anything. Just take what you said just now. Except for a few words more than me, you said nothing, and you asked me why I was laughing... ...It's ridiculous to laugh at you." She looked at me condescendingly, with an expression of dissatisfaction.

"I don't have any secrets at all!" The corners of my mouth curled up to the maximum, I looked at her innocently, and coughed twice: "Does Qiantong know what kind of poem this is? Bells, drums, and jade are not expensive, but I hope they will grow up forever." Drunk and unwilling to wake up. The ancient sages are lonely, but the drinker keeps his name. Does this girl want to have a drink or two?" I cleverly avoided the topic, because I knew she liked Li Bai.

Unexpectedly, the corner of her mouth curled up, and she snorted: "You must be happy to the fullest in life, don't let the golden cup be empty to the moon. I am born to be useful, and I will come back after all the money is gone. Cooking sheep and slaughtering cattle is a pleasure, and you will have to drink it Three hundred cups. Mr. Cen, Dan Qiusheng, will enter the wine, don’t stop. Let’s play a song with Junge, please listen to me. General wine is my favorite, how could I not know!”

"Qiantong really likes Li Bai so much?"

She raised her eyebrows and nodded: "Well, if I was born in that era, I would definitely chase after him!"

I said dumbly: "So you like drunkards, and you're still a poor-faced scholar."

"What alcoholic, what white flour?" Obviously she was not happy.

I stretched out on the lawn, put my arms under my head, and used what my sister told me back then: "Li Bai has never loved anyone in his life, and his lover is the moon in my eyes. So I was thinking...he The name of the person I like in my heart must have the word "month" in it, that's why I often ask about the moon, since this is the case...it's useless for anyone to chase him, you should give up your heart!"

Xiang Qiantong must have thought that I was laughing at her, and snorted: "You think too much, I don't think it makes much sense to like someone, if you like someone, you like it."

"I agree!"

After Xiang Qiantong finished speaking, he didn't know what to think of, raised his eyebrows and said again: "Don't change the topic...everyone has secrets, why don't you have them?"

I didn't expect her to be so difficult today.I sighed softly and turned my head, I really didn't want to face her charming eyes.

"You are my only friend, how could I lie to you? So... believe it or not, it's up to you."

Because there are some secrets, I will never let you know, so I didn't lie to you.

The author has something to say: I originally wanted to post a series of episodes before, but I still wanted to wait, at least until Qiantong and Luochen met.

There are two episodes today, and the story will continue tomorrow.

I will speed up the pace of the story as soon as possible.

make a fist.