Do not hesitate

Chapter 14

After boiling water and making ginger tea, Xiang Qiantong walked towards the bathroom, every step was as heavy as lead.

The moment she opened the door, Xiang Qiantong was stunned. The scene in front of her caught her off guard.Across the translucent glass in the shower, the woman standing upright under the shower, her long black hair was drenched by the water, sticking to her back like a waterfall, the hazy water vapor surrounded her, she just stood there quietly With the effect of running water, Si Luochen's perfect figure was interpreted to the extreme.

Gudong.

Xiang Qiantong swallowed subconsciously.

Sensing Xiang Qiantong coming in, Si Luochen didn't turn around, but whispered: "Won't it be cold to watch me wash?"

Embarrassed, Xiang Qiantong took off her clothes with a blushing face, bit her lower lip, took a deep breath and carefully slipped in, staring honestly at the wall.

Two women of about the same height stood under the shower, shoulders close together.I don't know if it's because the atmosphere is too awkward, or the shower is not big enough, but the shower gets colder and my throat gets drier.

During the whole shower, Si Luochen was the first to finish the bath, put on his bathrobe and walked out with a toothbrush expressionlessly.

Feeling that the door was closed tightly, Xiang Qiantong lowered her eyes and stretched out her hand to turn the water aside.The cold water flowed down the shower head, frowning and raised his head, as if trying to wake himself up.

Si Luochen also leaned against the wall the moment he walked out of the door, took a deep breath and let it out.Only at this time did her heart beat uncontrollably and her face gradually flushed. After a long time of stability, she returned to the living room and saw two cups of ginger tea next to each other on the coffee table, with a slight smile on her lips. .

Xiang Qiantong, you idiot!

After taking a shower, Xiang Qiantong found that Si Luochen was lying quietly on his side under the quilt.The ginger tea on the coffee table also bottomed out a cup, finished the other cup, tidied up briefly and returned to the room.

After turning off the lights and laying down with her back to Si Luochen, suddenly the woman behind her turned around and wrapped her waist around her, leaning her whole body close to her, and asked lightly, "Where did you go today, huh?"

"Luo... Chen?" Xiang Qiantong's voice trembled slightly.

The other party did not respond, as if waiting for an answer.

"I went to the hospital today." Xiang Qiantong replied after a long time.

"Hospital?" The tone was a little surprised, thinking that Xiang Qiantong was ill.

"It's my patient. He passed out in my office. He had high blood pressure and a bad temper. As a result, he answered a phone call at my place. He didn't know what the person inside said to him, and he was furious. Passed out out of breath."

Tell Qiantong about everything that happened today.Si Luochen also met Jack's disabled soldiers in the rehabilitation center. Doctors, whether they are psychologists, surgeons, internal medicine or even pediatricians, will face these things.

I thought that I would become numb after a long time, but I found that I was more and more afraid that these things would happen to me one day.

"What then?"

Following Xiang Qiantong's words, Si Luochen's tone softened a lot.

"Rescue failed, he died." The tone was regretful.

"..."

"Luo Chen, life is fragile, isn't it?"

I used to naively think that the only good thing about being a psychiatrist is that I don’t directly face the patient’s life and death, but I find that what the psychiatrist has to face every day is the most painful, the most real, and the cruelest side of the human heart.

This is more tormenting than parting from life and death. If he didn't believe in the beauty of the world, Xiang Qiantong would almost collapse because of this profession.

That's why some people say that a psychiatrist is actually the person with the most serious mental illness.

Si Luochen didn't respond, but hugged the woman in his arms even tighter, for fear that if he let go, he would lose it.

"I thought you were gone again..." The voice was soft.

Xiang Qiantong was taken aback, then turned to face Si Luochen, and asked, "What?"

Si Luochen was stunned by this sudden movement, pursed his lips, lowered his eyebrows, and said lightly: "I thought you were gone again, just like before. I'm afraid... I'm afraid I won't find you again. I'm even more afraid of myself I don't have enough reason to go to you again."

Suddenly realizing it, Xiang Qiantong thought back to that helpless figure standing in the rain, the embrace that was lost and found, and that expression of forbearance and repression, and he never thought that such a proud woman as Si Luochen would be afraid because of her.

Everything in the past is reflected in my mind like a movie playback, lingering.

The tips of their noses were close to each other, and their breaths gradually blended together, and Xiang Qiantong's breathing was a little disordered along with his thoughts.

"Luochen..." Before he could finish speaking, Si Luochen leaned forward slightly, interrupted her, and said in a low voice, "Qiantong, I... want to kiss you."

Xiang Qiantong opened her eyes wide.

Before Xiang Qiantong could respond, Si Luochen had already posted it, and closed his eyes.

Si Luochen's lips were warm and soft, but Xiang Qiantong's mind was in chaos.

What are you doing, you know?

Luochen.

The surrounding silent air seemed to have turned into a tangible aura, surrounding the two of them, becoming unusually ambiguous.Si Luochen's kiss was cautious, gently and shallowly covering Xiang Qiantong's cold thin lips, for fear that the dream would be shattered if he tried too hard.

Si Luochen never thought that she would take the initiative to kiss someone, let alone that Xiang Qiantong didn't push her away immediately. Although he was secretly happy, he knew how to measure it.

Just a few seconds of kiss, in her eyes, it seemed as long as a century.

I didn't deepen the kiss, I thought it was enough.Just as she was about to leave her waist, Xiang Qiantong grabbed her and pulled her back.

"..."

What followed was a veritable kiss.

The world instantly became chaotic, hot and moist lips embraced each other without any gaps, Xiang Qiantong's breath was fragrant and sweet, this kind of response almost made Si Luochen tremble to the point of melting.

After a long time, the two people's foreheads were pressed against each other, panting slowly, feeling each other quietly.

"Qian... Qiantong..." Si Luochen's heartbeat was still accelerating, and his breath was very unstable.

It was so unexpected, even too pleasantly surprised, that Xiang Qiantong would... Si Luochen couldn't imagine it.

But Xiang Qiantong blinked suddenly, licked her lower lip, and said shyly, "Luochen, your lips are so soft, like cotton candy that smells like milk."

"..." Si Luochen admitted that she was deeply shocked by these words, her throbbing was gone, but her embarrassment and helplessness also disappeared completely.

The corner of his mouth ticked, but he just snorted softly and didn't respond.

Xiang Qiantong held back her smile, stretched out her arms to embrace Si Luochen, and said seriously: "Luochen, I want to tell you, in fact, I... originally wanted... to leave."

Si Luochen froze.

Xiang Qiantong continued: "But when I thought about leaving, I realized that I couldn't leave. I would miss you and think about you. I even regretted it. Why didn't I go back to you sooner? It's you who can't bear it..." The voice became softer and softer.

Si Luochen was completely dumbfounded by Xiang Qiantong's words.

I have imagined countless results in this relationship, and the best is to stay with her and be a close friend for a lifetime.Those beautiful dreams come true, and the extravagant hope of growing old hand in hand, I just feel that it is impossible to happen, and sometimes I even think that if Qiantong finds it unacceptable, or even hates her, she will stay by her side silently, I don't feel wronged either.

Did not expect, really did not expect.Si Luochen didn't know what to use to describe his mood at this time, so it turned out that she was not wishful thinking or delusional, she had a crush on me.

"... Qiantong." He just wanted to call her name.

"Luochen, I promise you, if I can, I will never leave you again." This was Xiang Qiantong's promise to Si Luochen.

"What do you mean if you can? Don't tell me you've already thought of separating before we're together?" Si Luochen's tone was suspicious.

Xiang Qiantong didn't respond right away, she tilted her head and whispered in Si Luochen's ear, "Does Luochen really want to be with me forever, huh?"

"Didn't you think about it?" Si Luochen couldn't control his cheeks getting hot after speaking, and he could say such straightforward words without thinking, so don't mess around in the future.

I saw a beautiful arc on the corner of Xiang Qiantong's mouth: "Well, it's all up to you."

Si Luochen's face became even hotter.

Xiang Qiantong embraced Si Luochen, and said calmly, "Luochen, aren't you afraid?"

"Because we are all women?" Si Luochen asked puzzled, this question has been figured out a long time ago, if he was afraid, he would not have come to America.

"Don't you think it's incredible, we're obviously not gay... We didn't even think about finding a man to try, wouldn't that be a better way?" Xiang Qiantong said.

"You never thought about this to me?" Si Luochen asked.

Xiang Qiantong shook his head slightly: "I didn't understand what feelings are since I was a child. My classmates have always fantasized about their future spouse, but I really want to avoid this problem. Because I am afraid, I don't want to be like my parents. The quarrels of the night, I just want to live alone. Until..."

Looking back on my life from high school to university, although I didn't like those flies and bees following Si Luochen all day long, I never thought about why. It wasn't until I was drunk that time and heard Si Luochen's words that I really faced up to my feelings for Si Luochen. Luochen is different.

"Until what?"

"Until I came to the United States, I found that... I have always missed you. I wanted to know how you are doing, but I was afraid that you would forget me when you were angry with me. Anyway, it was very contradictory. Although your appearance this time surprised me, It's more about worrying, I'm afraid that such feelings will hurt you." This is the truth.

"Idiot. There is no reason for feelings. If I had to choose again, I would still choose to come to you." Si Luochen answered without hesitation.

"Am I... worth it?"

Si Luochen leaned into Xiang Qiantong's ear, and softly said three words with absolute certainty: "It's worth it."

In my heart, you are worth more than anyone else.