fall in love with ex-husband

Apart from avoiding the nagging of his parents all day long, part of the reason why he chose to live in Meng Xizhi's house is that the house he lives in is opposite S University.

And Zhang Kaiji is teaching at the School of Mechanical Engineering of S University.

I think when we were undergraduates, we had a quarrel because he chose to work instead of continuing his studies. Although it ended in my compromise, he worked for a year, but after he came home with me, he lived with my parents. With advice and support, he finally returned to campus, and then applied for a combined master and doctoral program under the guidance of his tutor, and stayed in the school directly after graduation.

Although he is busy with scientific research and often cannot spare time to accompany me, seeing that he has now been promoted from lecturer to associate professor, and he can continue to do what he likes with peace of mind, I think everything is worth it.

Finding out about brain cancer was a matter of last year.

At that time, I had already been promoted to a supervisor, and the end of the year happened to be the busiest time period. I was busy with entertainment for a long time, running around in various wine bureaus, and sometimes I came home drunk and sat at the door smelling of alcohol. into the house.

It was also at that time that the body began to light up red.

Because I have chronic gastritis, I didn't pay attention to the headache and vomiting at first. I just swallowed a pill of omeprazole hastily after each dinner, trying to suppress the secretion of gastric acid.Until the beginning of spring at the end of the new year, my symptoms not only did not ease, but also became more and more serious, especially in the morning, I had a splitting headache, and I experienced short-term blindness several times.

But Zhang Kaiji was busy applying for the National Natural Science Foundation of China at that time, and there were still a few articles on hand that needed to be supplemented with data. Every day when I went back, I saw that he was working overtime in the study, and sometimes he couldn’t even take care of food. I didn’t want to be affected by these small things. He, so he kept it secret and didn't tell him that he even went to the hospital alone on weekdays.

I know my own physical condition best, so when the doctor asked me if I was accompanied by family members, I probably knew it in my heart.

No matter who it is, when they suddenly find out that they have cancer, their first reaction is unbelievable.I also couldn't accept this thunderbolt, so I immediately changed another hospital, trying to hear a different answer from a better doctor.But no matter how many hospitals I change, how many doctors I question the authority of, the results of the brain CT examination are there, and no matter how I try to escape, it is useless.

After the first diagnosis, I called Meng Xizhi, who was still in the army at the time, without telling everyone.

As soon as Meng Xi heard that I was sick, he immediately asked the leader for leave, and appeared in the corridor of the hospital wearing a military uniform.

I calmly told him about my brain cancer and told him not to tell anyone yet.

Meng Xi has only known me for 32 years, and the friendship has long since become a family relationship.He was completely unprepared and behaved even worse than me. He clamored to see the director of the hospital and asked him to send the best doctor in the hospital to re-examine me. He took off his proud military uniform.

I hugged him and broke down crying, for the blow of fate, and for my few lives.

One month after the diagnosis, I thought about many things, including making up my mind to divorce Zhang Kaiji.

Although the medical treatment is advanced now, even the frightened cancer can be completely cured through surgery.But the operation is risky, and it depends on the individual whether to fully recover, and there will be sequelae after the operation. If you don’t pay attention, you may end up with a disability, such as the brain hemisphere tumor in my brain, which will not only make me more angry. Irritability can cause epilepsy, and it may even lead to complete memory loss, sensory disturbance, and even aphasia in the future.

I can bear the pain on the physical level, but I can't accept the incompleteness of memory.

I love Zhang Kaiji, I can't do without him, but I don't want to drag him down.

I know Zhang Kaiji's character. If he knew that I was sick, he would definitely drop everything to take care of me, but his career has just started on the right track, and his future is still bright. His body twitched, his senses were lost, he was paralyzed in bed, and he would only lose his temper for no reason, but he couldn't remember who was responsible for taking care of him.

Forgive my pessimism, I can only imagine my future with him on the premise that I don't live long.

Since his younger brother passed away, I have become the only comfort for his soul. Every year on the day of his younger brother’s death, Zhang Kaiji’s old illness will relapse, so he can only ask for leave from school to recuperate at home.Whenever he hugged me when he was cold all over, I was thinking, maybe from the beginning to the end, he couldn't get over his brother's death, so he hugged me tightly every time his condition improved slightly , Hold me firmly, for fear that I will also leave him.

Drowning, he really needs a rope that he can hold on to upstream. If I really die, I can't imagine how Zhang Kaiji will live.

To love someone is not to hope that he can die with you, but to hope that he can live well without you.

So I made the most painful and willful choice in my life, pushing Zhang Kaiji away from my side.

Forcing not to love someone is harder than dying, but if Zhang Kaiji can live in hatred for me because of this, just remember that I divorced him cruelly and forget about me, maybe that is the best answer.

After divorcing Zhang Kaiji, I told my parents and Meng Xizhi, if I die, don't tell Zhang Kaiji, if he asks, just say that I went abroad and talked about a new boyfriend, otherwise I will Does not cooperate with treatment.

Although my parents didn't understand, they agreed to my request.What else would they do?Let his only child die of pain like this?

So even though my parents strongly opposed my divorce with Zhang Kaiji, they were ultimately defeated by the threat of my refusal to practice medicine.

Sometimes hate may complete a person more than love.

Living in Meng Xizhi's house, I can occasionally see Zhang Kaiji from a distance.After he moved out of my house, he moved back to the rented house that we lived together after graduation. It was an hour and a half drive away from the school. It was inconvenient for him to go home for dinner at noon. Sometimes, probably because I haven’t had a good rest, I would go to the coffee shop across the street to buy a cup of hand-brewed Mocha after dinner.Usually at nine o'clock in the morning, you can see his license plate number at the school gate, and you don't want to leave until late at night.I sent someone to take his class, and the person said he seemed fine, he seemed unaffected by the divorce, and the class was interesting, and the students loved the strange stories that popped out of his mouth every now and then.

I was relieved to see that everything was fine with him.

I remembered that at the wedding, we kissed each other and promised to be with each other for the rest of our lives in front of the relatives and friends present, regardless of life, old age, illness or death. Now it seems that I can only break the contract.

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Aunts, give me some starfish