beg for chivalry

What does it feel like to die?

The Golden Crow had thought about this question countless times.All this time he was either on his way to death or in danger of dying.At this time, he was lying on his back in the burnt ruins, surrounded by thick darkness like ink, just like a coffin, firmly placed him in it.

He thought that death must also be the same as the "non-response method", which is neither invisible nor tangible, but a kind of illusion.From the boundless darkness, he saw blood red, greyish white, golden yellow, and then colorful colors, as if he had fallen into a dyeing workshop, but this little bit of color finally merged into the deep black.

There was darkness in front of my eyes.

In the darkness, there is no heaven and earth, no cold or warm, length, size, distance, and only chaos.

Jin Wu stood up in the darkness.

Although he stood up, he could no longer feel his hands and feet, wandering like a ghost in the boundless black.He seemed to be in a long and narrow corridor, with a vast expanse ahead and behind.

He walked forward in a daze, step by step, as if he was kneeling in the thick and rolling fog.

I don't know how long I walked, but there seemed to be a star in front of me.

Jinwu walked over.Gradually, he first heard the rustling of the wind blowing on the branches, and the rustling of insects in the yard.After walking a few more steps, he saw Wu Yan shuttling among the green and tender willows, and the moss reflected the green stone steps.

That is what Jiading Jinfu looked like before it fell into ruins.

He walked down the stone steps slowly, only to see that the courtyard was full of willows, greenery and peach blossoms, full of singing and singing.There is a round stone table and two stone benches in the center of the courtyard.

Sitting on the stone bench was a girl with a peach heart in a bun, her back was facing her, quietly looking at the spring scene in front of her.

In an instant, the tip of his heart seemed to be pricked by a needle, trembling with pain.Jin Wu was tongue-tied, he stood silently for a moment, then walked slowly to the stone bench, and sat down slowly.

The warm wind blows on the face, bringing wisps of fragrance, and there is a pear blossom as white as snow in front of my eyes.

Jin Wu looked up at the pear blossom, and murmured in ecstasy: "I... am I dead?"

The girl sitting beside her turned her head and asked with a smile, "Why do you say that?"

"If it wasn't so, how could I see the face of the dead here?" Jin Wu said, and he also turned his head slowly, meeting the girl's eyes.They had only met each other a few months ago, but Jin Wu felt as if decades had passed.

He thought that the night in the Tianfu Mansion was just a separation between life and death, but in the blink of an eye it turned into a separation between death and death.

The girl was shaking her toes, and the silver butterflies on the embroidered shoes were shining brightly, as if they were about to fly into the melting spring.She smiled playfully and said:

"I want to scare you, if you can't fall asleep, I will give you a dream, Fifth Brother."

Seeing Jinwu's expression seemed gloomy, she said angrily, "Why are you unhappy? I came to see you, but you didn't even smile!"

After a moment of silence, seeing that he was still silent, Zuo Sanniang clapped her hands again and said, "I understand, it must be because what I said is not what you like to hear, that's why you are annoyed and don't want to talk to me, right?"

With a hoarse voice, Jinwu asked, "What do you mean 'I' like to hear?"

San Niang said: "Do you want to hear me say 'I am not dead, everything before is just a dream of yours, there is no heavenly building, and no dead people'?"

"If you can say that, it is naturally the best." Jin Wu's expression was a little sad.

Zuo Sanniang smiled and said, "That's not right, fifth brother. Just me appearing here is already a sweet dream for you." She stood up, patted her dress, and stretched out her hand to pull Jinwu, " But, since it's a dream, then we should do what should be in the dream."

Jin Wu asked: "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to come with me!" Zuo Sanniang smiled like a flower, and led him to stand up from the stone bench.

In the courtyard, there are stone mats, pear blossoms are as ethereal as snow, and the glazed brick walls are green and translucent, like green jade, shining in the sunlight.The two of them walked over slowly, only to see a secluded path in front of them, and beside the path were green trees like ink and ink.The golden crow followed Sanniang into the path, surrounded by verdant greenery, with branches and leaves covering the sky and the sun, and warblers singing softly, like a deep forest.

They walked for a long time, and finally saw a little light in front of them.But the sunlight was also like the white mist, very bright, but not glaring.Fragrant white flowers scattered from the branches. After the rain of flowers, someone waved to them from afar.

Jin Wu blinked, and vaguely discerned the outline of the beckoning man.When he blinked for the first time, he felt that the distance was too far away and not very clear. When he got closer and blinked a few more times, his eyes became more and more blurred.He stopped, and tears fell from his eyes unconsciously.

It was a Mughal woman in a short coat and leather boots, with a long black braid on her head, and a small golden bell tied to the end of the braid, which jingled in the warm wind.Her eyebrows and eyes are handsome, a pair of Chengbi eyes are exactly like his, and her facial features are deep but flying.When she smiled, her sharp eyebrows stretched out like horn knives, and the smile was on the corner of her mouth, soft and warm.

"Come to Grandma's side, Jinwu."

Hui Lanwu also called out, his eyes smiling like crescent moons.

Staggering a bit, Jin Wu stopped in a daze and rubbed his eyes, but he didn't dare to rub his eyes too much, for fear that in a blink of an eye, the scene in front of him would disappear in smoke.

"Mother... dear?" He called in a low voice, standing at the same place at a loss.There was also a man standing behind Hui Lanwu, who was also waving to him and said with a smile:

"Jinwu, come here, you are the only one missing."

Marquis Ning Yuan smiled softly at him in the bright sunlight, wearing a scarlet robe embroidered with lions, like red and bright peony flowers, blooming brilliantly in front of his eyes.Around him was bustling with crowds of people.Jin Wu took a closer look, and saw that the crowd was full of rough envoys and servant girls from the old Jin mansion, and everyone had faces he was familiar with, looking at him with open eyes and smiling faces, and shouted: " Young master!" "Master Jinwu!"

Those were all servants he had known since childhood, although most of them only helped in the mansion and did some rough work, they still respected and loved Marquis Ningyuan a lot.They should have died on the night when the Houtian Tower invaded the Jin Mansion, but at this moment they were all smiling and standing under the pear tree, chatting affectionately, and when they heard that he was coming, they all turned to call his name.

A child with three braids emerged from the crowd, his eyes were protruding, his cheeks were flushed, and he was dressed in a light yellow summer silk dress. He smiled and shouted: "Young Master Jin!"

Jin Wu turned to look at him.The child grinned and said, "Young Master Jin, do you still remember me? I am Apan, we used to play together when we were young! We made dust for food and muddy water for soup. The crabapple tree in the yard There is a big restaurant at the bottom!"

Suddenly someone from the side trembled and said: "Young master, do...do you recognize the old woman?" Jin Wu turned his head again, and saw a woman in a gray skirt standing in the crowd, wiping the hot tears beside her eyes with her hands.Her hair was intertwined with silver and silver, and there were some vertical and horizontal dimples on her face, but Jinwu recognized her as his nanny when he was young, named Aunt Yue.Aunt Yue said: "Oh, we have been waiting here for a long time, our legs and feet are numb, but we finally waited for you to come, what a joy to congratulate."

At this time, several people came out of the crowd, and they flocked in front of him, saying in one go: "Master, have you seen me?" Let’s meet each other, oh, you’re here!” All of a sudden, everyone flocked to him, holding his hand and greeting him beamingly.

It seemed that so many people had never called his name in unison in this life.Jin Wu listened to their intimate words in a daze, and his eyes couldn't help but feel sour.

Most of the people who knew his name and surname are no longer alive, and everyone in the world regards him as a Rakshasa ghost in Houtianlou, accuses him of crimes that cannot be punished, and that death deserves more than justification.

Jin Wu hesitated and said: "Everyone... are you waiting for me?"

Everyone said in unison: "Exactly! Exactly!"

The boy named A Pan said: "We want to hold a big banquet, and invite everyone in the Jin Mansion, as well as everyone's relatives and friends, to invite everyone who can come."

"After being invited, what are you going to do?" Jinwu asked.

Hui Lanwu also laughed, raised the corners of his mouth, and patted his head: "Naturally eating, drinking and having fun, you can do whatever you want to be happy. Jinwu, here you can do whatever you want, everyone likes it You. If you want anything, we will try our best to fulfill it for you." She raised her head and smiled at everyone, "Is that so, everyone?"

Everyone laughed heartily, and said: "All you have to do is obey the orders of General Zheng Guo's wife!" Aunt Yue laughed and sighed again, and said: "It took the young master ten years to find this place, and he suffered a lot of hardships along the way, and we will be with him from now on." , what does it matter? Young master, if you want us to do something, just ask."

People around looked at Jin Wu with eager and loving expressions, which made Jin Wu feel a little uncomfortable.

Jin Wu said: "I...I have nothing to ask for, just..." He lowered his head, hesitated for a while, and then raised his head with a slightly coy look of hope:

"I think... talking to you guys, that's enough."

It had been a long time since no one regarded him as the Golden Crow, and it had been a long time since he talked and laughed with others, and had a hearty laugh.

Marquis Ning Yuan walked up to him, put his palm lightly on his shoulder, and said with a warm smile: "Okay, everyone is here to listen to what you want to say."

In the deep courtyard with dazzling walls, in the rain of pale white flowers, everyone clapped their hands and sang, singing:

There is nothing to worry about when I dream of returning to my hometown, but there are thousands of worries in a distant fan.

A few times I was surprised to think about the change of summer and cold, and the dream of spring is still clear in autumn.

He said again: "Junyan has a bottle of drunk yellow rice, and put aside all kinds of troubles." As he said, he brought glasses of sake to Jinwu.Everyone pulled up their clothes, linked hands, and spun around him.For a time, the sky and the earth were bright and white, full of fragrant flowers and snow.

Jin Wu sat in the center of the crowd, talking slowly with Ning Yuanhou and Hui Lanwu.He spoke every word and every word very slowly, as if he was afraid that his father and mother would turn their heads away after finishing what he had to say, and would not listen to him anymore.He recounted the past ten years in detail, sometimes he said that he was an assassin in Houtianlou, shedding blood with a knife in the bleak wind and cold moon; It is light, rich and gorgeous, with a thousand charms and a hundred beauty.No matter how big or small, he picked and talked about them one by one.

After hearing him finish speaking, time seemed to have passed for a long time.The sun is still bright, but it shows a little golden red of the setting sun. The clouds hang on the top of the tree, as if they are about to light a pear tree.The singers were tired, and sat on the stone benches, drinking tea and throwing picks, laughing and making a fuss.

After listening to his narration, Ning Yuanhou sighed for a long time: "Jinwu, you have been walking all the way, father and mother have been watching you."

Jin Wu swallowed nervously.For some reason, at this moment, he is no longer the old master Houtianlou, but a child who hangs his head and waits for his parents to reprimand him.He held too many life debts in his hands, and he didn't know how many lifetimes it would take to pay them off.

Hui Lanwu also hugged his head and hugged him into his arms.Jin Wu could only feel the warmth and humidity in her hair, she was crying, and the teardrops rolled down on his head.His mother choked with sobs and said, "Silly boy, you have had a hard time. It seems that you haven't had a happy day in the past ten years. But it doesn't matter. From now on, our family will always and forever be together." Son, nothing can separate us!"

Marquis Ningyuan looked at them both with a smile, Jinwu raised his head apprehensively, and only heard him say: "Don't blame yourself, you have made me very proud."

When he said this, for some reason, his heart seemed to be wrinkled suddenly. Jin Wu felt his eyes sore, and said in disbelief, "You...don't you blame me?"

"Why should I blame you?"

"I killed someone... I... ruined the reputation of the Jin family." Jinwu stammered, "I...until I die, I will only be an evil ghost who is reviled by thousands of people..."

Hui Lanwu also said: "What does that matter! Let others gossip, my child is the best child in the world!" She rubbed Jinwu's messy hair vigorously, and Jinwu only felt the warmth of her embrace And the softness was the embrace of his mother that he hadn't thought of for a long time. For a moment, he seemed to have turned back to the child ten years ago, with tears streaming down his face, only choked up.

"Stay with Grandma, okay?" After waiting for his sobs to ease, Mother stroked his hair affectionately and asked softly.

Jin Wu nodded slightly, and said with red eyes. "……Um."

This place is both bright and warm, and it is his hometown that haunts his dreams.It was neither a ruined wall full of weeds, nor a bloody killing field. With his mother and the servants of the former Jin Mansion accompanying him, he felt very happy in his heart and wanted to stay here for a long time.

At this time, everyone shouted in unison, hugged him tightly, and shouted "Young Master" and "Jin Gongzi" in one go.Ning Yuanhou poured a glass of sake from the porcelain pot, handed it to him, and said with a smile: "Father also hopes that you will stay here and spend more time with your mother."

Jin Wu took the wine glass in a daze.Zuo Sanniang immediately rushed over, grabbed his arm and swayed it from side to side, and said with a smile on her face, "Fifth brother, let's play in Haijin again!" She counted with her fingers, "I want to ride you The white horse, but also to eat candied chestnuts, nut twist..."

The crowd surrounded him with smiles.Aunt Yue seemed to be weeping with joy, she wiped the corners of her eyes with a scarf and said, "Master, this old woman won't be far away from you this time, with you back, our Jin Mansion will finally be lively!" A Pan also stuck out his tongue and stared He grimaced, and said, "It's so deserted here without one person, now we've got all the people here, and life should be prosperous!"

Amidst the commotion, Jin Wu held the wine glass and glanced at the crowd in a sense of loss.

After a long time, he asked:

"...Where's Wang Xiaoyuan?"

The laughter stopped abruptly, and the crowd who were still laughing just now froze, and suddenly pursed their lips tightly, their bodies froze and motionless.

This moment seemed to be extremely long. In the silence, everyone stared at him with strange eyes. Hui Lanwu was also worried, and asked, "Jinwu, what are you talking about?"

Jin Wu's eyes swept over their faces one by one, and said blankly:

"Wang Xiaoyuan... I didn't see him, where is he?"