Chasing bamboo horses with games

Wen Shaoyou slowly lowered his arms, and said with a wry smile, "Why do you want to know? Didn't you reject me? The reason or something is not important."

"No, it's very important." Lu Junqi then shook his head again, denying himself, "No, I didn't mean to ask this, although it's strange that you would like me, but it's really not what I want to ask .It should be said, what do you think?"

"What? What do you mean?"

Lu Junqi frowned and waved his hands, "I don't know what to say, just wait for me."

Wen Shaoyou looked at him frowning tightly, looking extremely distressed, with mixed feelings in his heart.

He also had delusional thoughts that maybe Lu Junqi also had feelings for him, so he could confess successfully, and the two of them would live a normal life, just like this for the rest of their lives.But, so-called adults can understand that they are daydreaming before being slapped in the face by reality.

He knew very well that the reason why Lu Junqi didn't reject his closeness was because he was thinking about his childhood affection, and he didn't think about it at all.Rather than putting the two of them in an embarrassing situation because of the failure of the confession, it would be better not to say anything, and it would be good to spend the whole life squeezed in the small house like this.

Even so, it was not without struggle.After a few side-by-side temptations, I knew that the confession would not work, and it could only be used to comfort and comfort myself, and whoever wanted to try it would be exposed.

He looked at Lu Junqi who started biting his nails, stretched out his hand to grab his wrist, and put it on his leg to prevent him from biting.

"Am I making you anxious?"

"No." Lu Junqi immediately denied it, looked at her bitten bald nails and said quickly, "I often do this when I think about things, I just didn't notice it."

"Well." Wen Shaoyou responded to indicate that he knew, and did not continue to entangle him with this issue, but instead said, "Dr. Huo is right, it is better to make it clear. But this is probably because the person involved is you , so he suggested that.”

"Huh?" Lu Junqi, whose mind was in a mess, couldn't keep up with his thoughts.

Wen Shaoyou was a little helpless, and seemed to be sighing with emotion: "Occasionally, I will feel uncoordinated after seeing you again, and I am completely different from when I was a child, but sometimes the habits and words that are revealed have not changed at all. Just like now, most people will walk away silently at this time, and let the broken-hearted person sort out their feelings, but you acted like it was a matter of course, and forcefully pulled me to talk clearly. I don’t know that you have grown up since childhood At the critical moment, you can’t read the air, regardless of whether the fault you ignore is good or bad.”

"I just think that if I really leave, you will be very sad." Lu Junqi looked at the hand that was being held, and said quietly, "I feel that the older you are, the more you cry, I don't trust you Stay alone."

"I don't like to cry. No matter how hard I was, I didn't shed a single tear. I just cried in front of you."

"That would be too cunning."

"Yeah, I'm too cunning, I can't help crying in front of you, maybe I want you to love me more."

"What I'm saying is that you're so sneaky for telling me you only cry in front of me."

Wen Shaoyou froze for a moment, and suddenly looked a little unbearable, overflowing with grievances that were about to swallow him up.He leaned over to hug Lu Junqi with a face full of pain, and found that he didn't intend to push him away, so he couldn't help but hug him tighter and tighter. The tears that had just stopped not long ago also fell into Lu Junqi one after another as if he couldn't bear the pressure. In Lu Junqi's collar.

Lu Junqi hesitated for a moment, but still hugged Wen Shaoyou loosely, stroking his back gently with his right hand.People who only show their vulnerable side in front of him can't be pushed away no matter what.

He couldn't help thinking that it would be great if he could respond to his feelings, but he knew better than anyone that he couldn't.

After all, a lover is different from a friend. His uncertain mood, weak body and uncontrollable cranky thoughts can't bring him happiness anyway.If you force yourself to pretend to be hypocritical, the relationship between each other will break down sooner or later.If you don't make it clear, maybe starting tomorrow, you won't even be able to have ordinary chats.

He didn't want to hurt him, but it already made him sad.At this time, he hated his clumsy tongue.Why can't you express your feelings well?You obviously have a lot to say, why can't you say it?

He took a deep breath, trying to straighten out his thoughts, but heard Wen Shaoyou's sobs.

"I'm very scared. I can't control my fear when I think that I will almost never see you again. I hate why I didn't come back in time, and why I chose the most stupid way to find you. I hate myself for not being able to hide my feelings well. I found you with great difficulty, but it still brought you pressure. Even today, you have to go to the doctor..."

Wen Shaoyou had lingering fears that lingered in his heart, and what he could usually say easily by acting coquettishly, could not be said at this time.He knew that as long as he said he didn't want to leave, Lu Junqi would definitely let him stay, but how much trouble would that cause him?

However, Lu Junqi didn't feel troubled, it might be better to say that he gradually calmed down amidst his intermittent whimpering.He only thought about how to respond and appease Wen Shaoyou, but he was not so upset.

"How can you blame those? It's just that I can't handle it. At first, I just felt very painful and tired, but in order not to cause trouble for Uncle Jun, I just held it in by myself, and something happened in the end." If you want to blame it, you should also blame me for not going to the treatment in time, and then refusing to cooperate well. I don’t think the way you chose is stupid. The fact that someone made a game for me will make me happy for the rest of my life.”

Lu Junqi paused at this point, thought about it, and decided to tell the truth: "There is indeed pressure and so on. I have only had a rest for two years, and suddenly I have to live with someone else. I really can't bear it. Now I'm not used to the feeling of sleeping next to someone.

"But it's not all bad. I'm glad that I don't have to go out to buy vegetables. The bed is not so cold. No matter how tasteless the food is, some people say it's delicious... There are many, many things. The most grateful thing is that you came back that day. Take a walk with me. In fact, every time I go out, I am terrified. Whenever I meet someone, I want to take a detour. If you don’t come back to accompany me, I may go home after less than a circle, let alone stick to it every day. "

Wen Shaoyou shook his head: "I just want to be with you."

"What about now?" Lu Junqi asked suddenly, "I can't possibly accept you, do you still want to stay here? It may be too much for me to say this, but I don't know which one is more difficult for you to accept, so I want you to decide to stay. If you stay, I can't guarantee that the future will be the same as before."

"What if you leave? Why don't you continue talking?"

"After leaving, I don't know anymore. Maybe it's back to the previous state, maybe... maybe it's nothing."

"Do you want to say that everyone is well and never see each other again?"

Wen Shaoyou's voice was trembling with cold, and Lu Junqi felt heart palpitations when he heard it. He frowned and tried to resist the pain in his chest. After the short-term stinging pain disappeared, he opened his mouth slowly.

"It's just a possibility. I don't want to lie to you, and I don't think you will be happy because of it. Although I think it's the best choice for you to leave, the space distance can give you a chance to think calmly, but I don't know if you are What do you think, I don’t know which one you think is more unacceptable.”

"What about you? You have thought so much on your own, and you think it's best for me to leave. What about you? You don't care about yourself? If I really leave, can you calmly accept that my little boy will disappear from now on? If If I stay, do you have to force yourself to face someone who plots against you every day?" Wen Shaoyou became more and more excited as he spoke, but his voice became hoarse, "Lu Junqi, can you tell me what happened to you? Think about it?"

"I don't want to hurt you, not at all." Lu Junqi is not used to talking with people looking at each other, but now he is staring at Wen Shaoyou without blinking, "But no matter how much I don't want to, I have already hurt you, And it is still going on now, even selfishly kicking the ball to you. I also trouble you, don’t think so well of me, can I? I have always been a wimp, cowardly, and selfish. I don’t understand you at all. What do you like about me, I can't even respond to your feelings well, I don't even know how to do it right. I want to talk to you outrageously, but I don't even know how to talk..."

"Little Qi!" Wen Shaoyou held Lu Junqi's shoulders and looked at him nervously.

As if waking up from a dream, Lu Junqi slowly softened his body, and leaned on the sofa as if losing strength: "I'm sorry."

"Nothing, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Xiaoyou, you don't need to accommodate me. I have bipolar disorder, but I'm not sick now, I'm sober, just like you."

"I don't want to go." Wen Shaoyou repeated at the moment when Lu Junqi turned his gaze to himself, "I don't want to go, I want to stay. If you agree with me to stay, tomorrow, after you calm down, face No matter how uncomfortable I am, I can't drive me away, even if you need to be hospitalized again because of my stress, I will not leave, you have to think clearly."

"As I said, the decision is up to you. If you want to stay, you can stay. Instead of worrying about me, you should worry about yourself. Even I don't know what I will do or say tomorrow."

Although there was no tension between the two people, there was a sense of tit-for-tat.It didn't take long for both of them to be discouraged, and exhaustion and relaxation lingered endlessly in the small living room.They tossed all night and solved one thing, but it also led to countless problems in the future.

From the beginning, they knew that this matter could not be properly resolved.Those who already like it are not so easy to give up, and those who are liked cannot make a happy response regardless of objective reality. They can only fight in one direction.

Maybe the final result is no different from letting nature take its course, but only tonight, no one wants the possibility of becoming a stranger, so they must decide on a way forward that cannot be retreated when their heads are hot.

They did the same thing without tacit understanding.

Dispute is a desire to know the other party's true thoughts, and it is also a temptation.Fortunately, after a lot of trouble, the result of the trial can make people breathe a sigh of relief.

However, when people focus on one thing, it is inevitable to ignore other places.Therefore, the hair of a certain person in the game has completely exploded, and it is all controlled by the boyfriend.