grandfather's daughter-in-law

Now that I think about it, I can't remember how long it was before Ding Jianye and I had a real wedding night.Later, under the repeated request of Ding Jianye, we tried many times, but we still failed.It was no longer because of my stomach pain, but because I couldn't get wet, I was in too much pain, he took pity on me and didn't dare to force it, and gave up halfway many times.

At the beginning, Ding Jianye still took pity on me. He forgave me, tried different ways to please me, invited me to watch a movie, went to watch the sunset, gave me presents, turned off the lights in the room and replaced them with dim candlelight.He even changed the sheets, soft cotton, sleeping on it has a feeling of being embraced by warmth, it is said to be imported from foreign countries.He was born in the late 50s, three years older than me. At that time, although Taiwan had no colonization or foreign aggression, and the island of Taiwan had long been separated from the dreamlike mainland of the motherland, our concept of homeland and hatred for the nation They are often influenced by the previous generation.He tried his best to please me and hoped that we would have a good and smooth wedding night, but we still failed.Even if he really wanted to love me well at the beginning, I also wanted to be loved well, but after such a toss, I think we can't do it anymore.

Time eats away everything, all joy, all patience dies away from repetition.He started to get impatient, he didn't want to face me alone anymore, after the scene, he would stay with his brothers in the class until very late before going back to the room, and when he got back to the room, he didn't say a word, fell asleep under the bed, and fell asleep. Turn your back when you sleep.Sometimes they even stay out overnight.His temper is getting weirder and weirder, picking on everything about me for no reason, or he is silent, but when facing outsiders, he cares about me very much, showing a newlywed and affectionate.In addition to lies, deceit and indifference in our marriage, hypocrisy began to appear.But as professional actors, we can easily interpret the two sides of such a loving person and indifferent side. I even wish that life could go on smoothly like this.

Sometimes he still holds some weak hope. In the dark, touching my chest, he will still linger on my neck and lips for a long time. When his hands pass by my thighs, I can feel his hesitation, but he When he finally touched it, the dry touch made him lose interest.On that kind of night, there was always no moonlight in the sky, and I looked out through the gaps in the heavy curtains, and there was nothing but darkness.Beside him was the sound of his powerful breathing.At that time, I simply never thought that at the age of approaching age like him, the surging desire in the body always needs a certain way to vent, or maybe it’s just that I never cared about that body, and then our bridal night This came without warning.

It was one day long after we were married, two months, maybe three, and he woke me up with a slam on the door.I didn't turn on the lights, and the house was dim. The sparse moonlight pierced the darkness and cast a silver light on the wall, just like the night I decided to marry him.I saw his frivolous figure walking to the bed.

I moved towards the edge of the bed sensibly - in the past we would divide half of the bed evenly, but instead of lying down, he propped himself up on me with his hands.His heavy breathing came to my face with a strong smell of alcohol.

"You've been drinking." I said.

He didn't answer, his eyes were fixed on me.If it weren't for the backlight, I think I would be able to see the burning anger and painful forbearance in those eyes, but I can't.This quiet dormant state is like a well-thought-out hunter staring at the prey in the trap, playing with its anxiety.I suddenly wanted to escape from here as fast as possible, as far away as possible.I tried to get up, but he quickly clamped my shoulders with both hands, and the weight of his whole body fell on my shoulder blades, causing a sharp pain.

"You hurt me," I said.

He stared at me closely for a long time before asking: "Did you never love me?"

If I was smart enough, I should tell an innocuous lie, but I'm so stupid.I said, "You're drunk."

"I didn't!" He denied loudly, "Why? Why didn't you come back for so many nights, and you didn't even ask me? In your eyes, what am I?"

I calmly repeated: "You've had too much to drink."

He frowned, emphasizing stubbornly that he hadn't.

silence.

Still silent.

Then he suddenly leaned down and kissed me, with a punishing kiss on my mouth and neck.He rudely tore off my clothes, I hurriedly stopped, I said you are crazy, his teeth bit my lip, and sweet blood flowed into my mouth.I said you let me go, but it was in vain.The feeling of being imprisoned for a lifetime seized me again.All the goodness and happiness are nothing but illusions.He ripped off my bra and panties and threw them on the floor.His hand reached out to my lower body, and without warning, he penetrated straight in.The heart-piercing pain instantly swept through my whole body, and I couldn't help moaning softly. I curled up tightly in pain, and my whole body broke out in cold sweat.And he has no pity any more.

I haven't thought about whether sex and love are absolutely necessary or not.There will naturally be harmonious sex when two people are in harmony, but it is not known whether the sex is not harmonious and it is really closely related to love.Maybe yes, not love, so not wet.If you love, just an illusory spring dream is enough.

Behind him came the sound of his belt being undone, the sound of his trousers falling to the floor, the sound of him undressing.I closed my eyes in pain.I shouldn't expect that he will always take pity on me, I shouldn't expect that he will guard the white me just like I guard my white love, I shouldn't be greedy, then I won't be in pain at this moment.I remembered that day, when the group of soldiers in yellow khakis hurried and nervously walked through the door holding their guns, he hid behind the door, holding my hand tightly, giving me something called a sense of security.Then, even greater pain tore through me.

It has been said that the way for a man to a woman's soul is the vagina.Probably, the way of my soul has never been opened for him.Dry twitches are peeling off my nerves one after another, and I see my restless soul and my broken body in that fragmentation, they float around me, laughing at my stupidity and self-inflicted blame.

The next day, I couldn't get out of bed.In fact, the tearing pain made it extremely difficult for me to move.I just lay there motionless on the bed, covered with a thin quilt.Ding Jianye didn't say a word. It might take him a cigarette to recall those horrible things, but he still didn't say anything.He silently smoked the second, third, and fourth cigarettes, then picked up the clothes on the ground, put them on indiscriminately, and left without saying a word.I have always thought that he has the talent of a buffoon, laughing and cursing, winking his eyebrows and winking his eyes are all very charming.I just never thought about how to judge the true feelings of a heart with a painted face.

In the past, there was nothing to lose, and I was always hopeful and apprehensive in my heart, but now it has finally fallen into the dust and is filthy, and I am not moved in my heart.I thought I was going to cry, at least sadly, over my eventual loss of virginity, or feel humiliated and never have the guts to face this broken life.but I do not have.I just lay quietly on the bed, my eyes were as dry as my lower body, and my throat felt as painful as a blade when I swallowed.I could only lie motionless.

When Yu Minxiu came to see me, I was still lying like that.She knocked on the door, and as soon as I moved, the pain in my whole body woke up from the heaviness.I buried myself in the quilt, only showing my face before I dared to let her in.She was a little carried away with joy, and kept saying that Ding Jianye had asked for leave for me, asked if I was feeling better, and tested the temperature of my forehead with the back of her hand, and then told me that the daily newspaper would select her for an exclusive interview to re-promote the declining national drama.As the rising star of Gezai Opera, she does her part.She is so happy, like a bird soaring in the blue sky, carefree.

I endured the pain and congratulated her with a smile.The burning pain and strangeness in my lower body remind me that last night I was bitten by a dog, crushed by a ghost, or pushed by a pig.His eyes finally showed sourness.Life is probably like this. Some people are born wearing gold, silver, glory and wealth, some are gifted and talented, and some are mediocre and have a long life. Chasing a distant goal may end up being false and unreal.

"The reporter from the daily said that he would also interview "Legend of Jiepaiguan" and "Ode to Pear Blossom", including you. He will come over tomorrow. In addition to coming to see your illness, I also want to tell you the news. You Can I join in?" she said.

"I may not be able to participate." I licked my chapped lips.Every time he opened his mouth to respond to her, there would be blood in his mouth.

"Is there any discomfort?" she asked.

"It may be that I am a little tired during this period, and I want to rest for a few days."

"This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. We must seize it well. The reporter of the daily said that we will interview tomorrow morning. Can you see if you can persist?"

"I...you..." My throat choked, and tears fell without warning, "You let someone else go for me." I finally became that stupid weaver girl.

"What's wrong?" She hugged my shoulders, in a daze, as if she finally saw the humiliation and embarrassment under my clothes.Her hand seemed to be pulled by some kind of force, and she slowly reached into my collar. Her cold fingers blunted my pain.

"Jianye did it?" Her voice resisted trembling.

I finally cried out.She hugged me and put my head in her arms.My cries turned into fits of whimpering.

"He is so disgraceful, how could he treat you like this? I must ask him for an explanation." She said angrily, holding my head in both hands, stroking my hair gently like a mother.

"Xiu Xiu." I said.

"Yes." She replied to me, "Don't worry, I will let Jianye give you an explanation."

I shook my head.

"How can this be tolerated? Just forgive him like this, and he will hurt you like this next time. I hate men with domestic violence the most."

I didn't speak any more.I lay quietly in her arms, and she hugged me silently.This beautiful woman, I have exhausted myself to reach you.I may never take another step.I just want to rest quietly in her arms for a long time when I am tired, and she will stand up for me when I am bullied, and that is enough.I am just an amorous sperm meeting a lonely egg, which is the most humble combination. I am doomed to be humbled into the dust since I was born, so my love also needs this kind of injury in order to get back this sliver of comfort.