grandfather's daughter-in-law

In July 24, Ding Jianye and I got married.I was [-] years old that year.

Rather than saying it is a marriage, it is more accurate to say it is a transaction, a transaction that is a matter of course, just like paying for something.However, people are greedy. When we trade, we will feel sorry for the money and feel reluctant to give it up, because we know how hard it is to get it, and we will even have the idea of ​​​​taking things and running away, because once some prices are paid, we will never give up. No more.That is the torment in my heart.

After the premiere of "Ode to Pear Blossom", Ding Jianye announced his wedding date in public, just half a month later, it was very urgent, but I chose this date.Because every minute and every second since the signing of this agreement feels like a century to me.Every minute and every second in that long century has been infinitely magnified, and I hold the price I have to pay tightly in my hand, as if I am carrying out a century-long punishment of lateness. The pain of each cut is infinitely magnified and prolonged.I made this agreement under anesthesia, and now the effect of the anesthetic is lost with each passing minute.I hope that that day will not come, and I hope it will come soon!When everything is settled, there will be no restlessness anymore.

Yu Minxiu was very happy, she held my hand and said that we will be a family from now on.The rest of the troupe also congratulated us one after another, enthusiastically introducing which wedding dress is the most popular or which studio has the most skilled photographers.They seem to have gained a lot of relatives and friends overnight.Yu Minxiu said that a woman only gets married once in her life, so it must be lively and lively. She also said that she would book the biggest and best hotel in Yilan, which would be decent enough.

Ding Jianguo came back a few days before the wedding.He was in his late thirties, his body was beginning to gain weight, and he wore a gray suit, the air of a successful businessman.In order to complement him, Yu Minxiu re-permed her long chestnut wavy hair, draping it straight on her shoulders, with a variety of styles.It was this catering gesture that finally became the most ruthless arbitration.I think it's also great that everything is going to settle down.Everything will return to orthodoxy.I can finally stop thinking about her bruised body under my hands over and over again in those sleepless nights, finally I can stop imagining how that body is lying under Ding Jianguo’s body. Recalling the pitiful bits and pieces between me and her over and over again.Fate is so overbearing!Fate is so irreversible!What an irresponsible fate!It selfishly and domineeringly dominates everything about me, but it never takes responsibility for me, but I have to bear the responsibility for my destiny for a lifetime and put on the shackles for a lifetime.How funny!No matter how unwilling I was, how many cynical struggles I had made, now, I finally gave in.All happiness or unhappiness is over.

There is no expectation in the days, and history becomes a blank space where only day and night alternate, and then the wedding day arrives, neither sooner nor later.In order to show his love and respect for me, Ding Jianye agreed to all my requests for simplicity. He only rented the first floor of a small restaurant in Yilan, and only invited some relatives and elders of the Ding family.As for why I should keep it simple?I probably think that marriage is always a matter between two people, and the more beautiful it is, the more it will be ridiculed if it does not reach the end.I probably never felt at ease.

Halfway through the banquet, there was a little episode.The owner of the store walked in cautiously, congratulated us, and then said carefully, "Excuse me, someone downstairs sent a congratulatory gift and asked us to accept it in person."

We went downstairs, and there were two men in plain clothes standing menacingly at the door, holding a wreath in their hands.One of them asked, "Is there a man named Ding Jianye who is getting married here?"

"Yes, I am." Ding Jianye replied.

"Someone asked us to give you a big gift." The man said and sent a wreath in front of Ding Jianye. Elegy couplets on wreaths.

"What do you mean? Who asked you to send it?" Ding Jianguo asked.

"We have already brought the words, there is nothing else to say." The two left after speaking, leaving only us who were still shocked.

"Did you offend someone?" Someone asked, "Or did the troupe offend someone?"

"It can't be a theater troupe. If it was a theater troupe, it should be sent directly to the theater troupe. It seems that it means emotional entanglement." Yu Minxiu said.I subconsciously thought of Lin Jiaxi.I didn't know then that she had left without saying goodbye.

Ding Jianye kicked the wreath hard, muttered something and cursed "bad luck!" He called everyone back to their seats, and asked the shop owner to find someone to clean up the things.

Suffering such a sudden change, the cheerful and joyful atmosphere disappeared, and the guests searched their guts and said their blessings, and they always seemed to be trying to cover it up, so the wedding banquet broke up early.Ding Jianye drank a lot of wine, like a wedding wine or a boring wine, and he was half drunk when the banquet was over.Ding Jianguo carried him back to the new house, but he ran out of the house and vomited violently after lying down for a while.After that, he disappeared for a while, not too long, and when he came back, there was a hole in his wedding dress.As he took it off, he explained that he was too drunk and went to find Wang Yugui to make hangover tea, but accidentally got caught by a tree branch on the side of the road.I listened quietly, without questioning.

Perhaps the words on the wreath that the marriage died prematurely were true. From the first day of my marriage with Ding Jianye, there were deceit, lies, and indifference.He tried to throw the torn wedding dress on the hanger, but failed. I wanted to go over and pick it up, but he held my wrist tightly, and his strong hand carried warmth to mine. On, just like in the past, my heart missed a beat for no reason, and then jumped up.The feeling of being imprisoned for a lifetime seized me again.

He pulled me back and faced him.He sat on the edge of the bed with his face buried in my stomach.He let out a long sigh of relief, and the scorching heat spread to my stomach through the thin clothes.I felt like it was getting hot and burning there.

"Feng." He called me.

He raised his head and looked at me with blurred eyes, and his pupils with dilated focus seemed to be trying to recognize my figure.I said let me go over and pick up the clothes first, but he rolled over with his hands and pinned me under him.Under the quilt came the sensation of peanuts and longan, and bursts of pain began to bite into my back.

His hands held my face, and I was able to spread his body with both hands, and in that narrow gap, I was able to linger on.But his lips covered mine, and the warm breath rushed into my nose with a strong smell of alcohol.My nose started to sore.I don't start, but the palms holding my jaws on both sides seem to fix me, no matter how I dodge, it will only become a grunt in his mouth.

His tongue pried open my lips and teeth, rampaging in my mouth, still carrying the faint rotten smell of alcohol.I'm looking for my teeth, I think I should bite down hard, yes, bite down hard.But that tongue was stiff and powerful like a whale, and my teeth were soured by the smell of rotting ferment.I had to open my mouth to let my lungs gulp and breathe.

His hands wrapped around my chest.My breath is choking.I closed my eyes and tried to force myself to imagine him as her, it was her, those slender hands measuring my size, not these rough and strong hands, kneading let go, kneading let go .My eyes became hot and humid.

He kissed my neck, rubbing back and forth there.His hands ravaged my breasts hard, holding and letting go, holding and letting go.The sound of heavy breathing and the warm smell of wine rushed to my face and neck one after another.I can't feel my breath.I can't feel my face anymore.There, slices of pain, but I don't know where, maybe the corner of the eye, maybe the root of the tooth.

He held my chest, and he said, "You know what? I've been waiting a long, long time for this moment, ever since I first saw it."

I opened my eyes, and a row of hot tears slid into the pillow.My chest started to hurt, then my neck.After a while, with the heartbeat and breathing, it penetrates rapidly.My stomach started rolling and cramping violently.My eyes started to swell.I thought I was going to curl up into a ball, but I didn't, I just clenched my fists tightly.My arms started to ache.

People are always obsessed with something strangely throughout their life. What they can't get or have lost may be just a casual glance, which will leave an indelible mark on their lives.I remember when I was a child, probably in the second grade of my country, my Chinese teacher was a very beautiful and young and elegant woman.She was different from the teachers I met later.At that time, I couldn't quite tell the difference between a woman and a girl, but the intellectual beauty of a mature woman radiated from her deeply attracted me.I admired her so much that I used to peek at her from the railing, so much so that for months I dreamed that I went to the bathroom with her.This matter was sunk in a corner of the deep memory because of the absurdity and shame of being young and ignorant. It lived in silence for many years. On my wedding night, my man snorted on me While galloping, I was caught off guard and remembered.

How ridiculous.

Ding Jianye began to undo the buttons of my cheongsam, one by one, clumsily and slowly. At the last button, he suddenly lifted it, revealing my red bra.Large pieces of cold feeling condensed from the air, forming an invisible ice cone, which pierced my heart fiercely.My heart began to ache violently.

The untied cheongsam was pulled away from his head with great force, and his blurred eyes stared straight at my chest.Maybe he really coveted it for a long time, I heard him swallow a mouthful of saliva, and there was a grunt in his throat.His breathing began to come short, but the tight skirt didn't give him what he wanted.

"Help me," he said.

But I just lay there like that.He fumbled along the hem of the skirt to find the zipper, rubbing his hot fingers back and forth against my thigh.The little zipper was turned around by me moving back and forth.He impatiently pushed the hem of the skirt up, and my panties were ripped off.

He moved away from me and half-kneeled, the white shirt was taken off from the top of his head, making a cracking sound.His face was flushed red under the orange light, his eyes were half-closed, and he was panting heavily.He began to undo his belt, and the black suit pants and panties slid down his calf.That not-so-small penis looked like a sleeping dragon, raising its head from his thick body hair, revealing its pink dragon head.My throat started to hurt.

He was on top of me.Large swaths of hot touch from his body to my sensory nerve endings, my stomach, my chest, my face, my neck, my arms and my legs, the pain in my whole body finally found a way to connect in At the same time, the pain finally made me feel like ants eating into my bones, and my stomach convulsed, and the pain finally made me have the strength to push him away, and retched beside the bed.

He was stunned, his slightly drunk wine and his distraught body were stunned together.I retched non-stop, saliva poured out from the roots of my teeth, I spit it out and spit it out, I tasted the bitter taste of bile and the sourness of tears in the back of my throat.He finally calmed down and asked me, "What's wrong?"

I just shook my head feebly, the soreness of my teeth and the pain in my throat were still coming out.

"Would you like some water?"

I still shook my head.But he still walked from the bed to the middle of the room to pour water, without sacrificing an inch.I looked up and saw his clean buttocks moving like two white sacs.My stomach started to twitch again.

"Drink some water." He squatted in front of me, with his limp genitals drooping between his crotches.I suddenly remembered years ago when he told me that when he peed, he split into three lines.

Maybe this is our fate, our first meeting was the beginning of sharing a dirty secret that cannot be spoken.A long time ago, it was destined that we would become each other's loneliest allies in this world, sharing everything in each other's privacy, we watched each other, but we could never reach each other's souls.I suddenly and deeply realized that my whole life was going to be like this, guarding a hopeless love, lying next to a man who didn't love.The soreness in my eyes began to fall to the floor, and I couldn't help crying.He wiped away my tears and asked me if I was in severe pain and if I should go to the hospital, I still shook my head.

He walked over to put down the cup, picked up the underpants on the ground and put them on.He gently adjusted my skirt, without panties, and lay down next to me.He stretched out his arms, put my head in his arms, and told me to tell him if it hurt too much.I nodded, closed my eyes, and heard his strong heartbeat.

My tears began to flow out again and again, and I couldn't wipe them away.I thought that even if I didn't love him, I could live a good life with him and fulfill my duty as a wife.I thought that if I don't love him, I can ignore everything and be happy. We can also be allies and resist the misfortune of life together. I didn't choose him just to find a soul mate.It doesn't matter if it's love, redemption, or use, I thought that if I walked this road, everything would be over.But I was wrong.Big mistake.The moment did come, and I was unexpectedly, terribly miserable.I had stomach cramps in pain and couldn't breathe.I'm just a smug woman who I thought was as big as the sky.Who can blame this?Everything was caused by my own misjudgment, and it was my own fault.