grandfather's daughter-in-law

After all, I am not cruel enough to really want to hurt a life. The pain of losing a lover and losing a flesh and blood should be equally penetrating.At that time, there was no veterinary hospital in the town, so I had to ask Wang Yugui if she could guess her due date based on the size of her belly.Wang Yugui only said that the country dogs have their own way of giving birth, and told me not to worry too much.As the host, he invited me to attend Ding Jianguo's wedding.Even if I don't have time to fall in love, even if I can't give her happiness with my own hands, I still want to see her happiness with my own eyes. It's probably because I know that there will be such a day sooner or later. The news of the wedding is not as heartbreaking to me as I imagined. split lung.I was even inexplicably excited about the upcoming reunion.Just because she liked the sachet very much, I went to learn embroidery from Ah Mo in the town, and then counted the days on my fingers counting down the countdown to the reunion.

The theater troupe is getting busier and busier. In the era when Gezai Opera is gradually declining, it has a thriving energy.Ding Yongchang didn't see anyone all the year round, but occasionally heard from rumors that the troupe would soon be stationed in Taipei.This rumor was like injecting a clear spring into a pool of stagnant water, and the whole troupe took on a new look.Gezixi, an ancient and grassroots drama, is about to enter the metropolis, what an exciting news.In the last days, people almost spent their time in carnival.I had the expectation of reunion in my heart, and I was also affected by this excitement.I began to enthusiastically help in the kitchen, washing pots and dishes, cleaning the roof, arranging tableware, washing costumes when the weather was good, chopping firewood, and even heating hot water.Xu Hong said sarcastically that I had finally changed my ways and learned how to be grateful, and I just laughed it off.However, due to unforeseen circumstances, there was no good news of permanent residency in Taipei. Instead, Ding Jianguo's business matters were delayed, but no one knew exactly what happened, and the wedding was postponed.When it will be extended, no one knows.

The reunion that used to be close at hand has now become an endless wait, and I finally can't bear it anymore.At that time, my embroidery work was almost finished, and the pair of mandarin ducks playing in the water were only missing a lotus leaf. Looking at them, I felt an unreasonable indignation that they would no longer be useful.How much blood I've bled, how many fingers I've pricked to get an outline, and I'm about to watch it crumble into the bottom of the box.Who knows what is the geometry of seeing the light again?

Later, my training began to make frequent mistakes.The spear fell and scratched my arm, and the handle of the knife could not catch the other person, so I turned a deaf ear to Xu Hong's sarcasm, and then I could only practice hand-to-hand combat.Even so, I still often miss, no one is willing to fight with me, so Xu Hong ordered me to start practicing from the most basic leg press and splits.Even so, I still hurt myself.In the end, when Xu Hong complained to Wang Yugui that she didn't want to take me anymore, I was almost bruised all over.

Wang Yugui asked me like this: "Feng, you've been out of your mind these days. What's wrong with you, can you tell Auntie?" A pair of period pants and a large bra tucked into my time.At that time, her voice was as soft as it is now, but because of Yu Minxiu's arrival, Ding Jianguo's upcoming wedding, and the theater troupe's upcoming permanent residence in Taipei, these people and these things separated us far away.I feel so painful, those wounds that were accidentally injured seem to ache at the same time.

I bit my lower lip.

She replied patiently: "Yes." Although I haven't said anything yet.

"I hurt." I said.

She was shocked, "Does the wound hurt?"

She showed me nervously, but I shook my head.I don't know where I hurt, but it hurts so much.I don't know how to tell her that I have an unclean mother and that my father abandoned us.I fell in love with a person, her name is Yu Minxiu.i miss her.I'm sick, and the name of that sickness is homosexuality.I've carried it on my back for too long and I'm tired.All of this weighed me down.I'm only 17 years old.

Wang Yugui held my hand and comforted me: "Silly boy, the past is just a life experience, not a burden. No matter what happens, we must learn to let go." She patted my back lightly, and it took a long time Did not speak again.

I decided to leave anyway.I have to go see her.I know that seeing her won't change anything, nothing will change, but I have to see her.I think a long time ago, maybe from the moment I met her, my life was already connected to her.Even if we can't be together, I must know that she is there, living happily and healthily.With her there, my heart can stay in my stomach safely, without anxiety or panic.

I rummaged through my closet to find a battered bag, left over from nowhere.I don't have many things, just a few worthless clothes and the little money I have worked so hard to save are all stuffed in.Xiao Huang seemed to feel something, and kept circling around my feet, humming and chirping to express something, which I couldn't understand.Its belly is getting bigger and bigger, it is like my baby, I raised it, watched it conceive, but failed to watch it give birth.What's more pitiful is that maybe once I leave, it will become a stray dog.Probably when I first joined the theater troupe, it fell into the world like me, and I always felt that I had a responsibility for it, but after much deliberation, I could only entrust it to Ding Jianye.

I brought it to Ding Jianye, and he asked me in shock: "Are you leaving?"

Getting together and parting is a very common thing, they are all strangers who meet by chance, who would stay forever.I handed him half of the hundreds of dollars I had saved, and said, "Just do me a favor and help me take care of Xiao Huang. It's pregnant, and I can't abandon it at this time." I said As if I was the one who caused it to get pregnant.

Ding Jianye did not accept my money, and frowned, "You keep the money, Xiao Huang, I will take care of it for you."

I thought about it and put the money away.I am away from home, everything is inseparable from money.

"Is it because of that that you are leaving? Didn't you say you forgive me?"

This statement surprised me.He still cared so much about it.I couldn't tell what I felt in my heart, I just felt angry and funny, so I couldn't help but play with him, "Yes, isn't this exactly what you wish? Now you don't need to rush me, I'm leaving by myself."

He suddenly pressed down on my package, "Why are you like this! I have already apologized, those people, please ignore them. I have already told them that I made a mistake and wronged you."

That's when I was sure he seemed to really care about that.If I knew today, why bother.The so-called self-inflicted crimes cannot be lived, so he lowered his voice, "Otherwise, what will you do?"

But he couldn't think of any more words to refute, so he just took his hand away and watched me go.I didn't say hello to anyone, and before I left, I looked back at the whole troupe.The bustling temple gate was crowded with people, walking back and forth with snacks and benches in their hands, trying to find a place with a good view.On the stage, Wang Yugui is directing the stage set.Everything is bustling and deserted, looking old and distant, like an old painting.

Xiao Huang followed me step by step, maybe it also knew that this was the last journey, and followed me to the station without leaving.I sat in the waiting room and it crouched at my feet.

The twilight is like an oil painting, adding layers of dim colors. The night quietly crawls across the roof, slowly reaching into the time like a giant palm of a shady stallion, snatching something away and then retreating back silently inch by inch.The announcer announced the train number over and over again, and the mechanical sound became more ethereal and lonely in the empty hall.

For a moment I felt timid, I didn't know where to find her, I didn't ask Wang Yugui her address.I don't know what to say after seeing her, and what kind of emotion to face her with.I couldn't wait to see her so much, but I was timid when I left.I want to go back to that corner of the town to take a look, I think of my mother, many years later, she stood on the bank of the river and gently called me home for dinner, the sun shining on her face was golden.She stuffed bag after bag of candies in my pockets for me to show off.It's just that I thought of the oversized men's leather shoes outside the door and the kiss that caught me off guard.After all, there are traces of the years, no matter how many years have passed and how much dust has been covered, as long as you wipe it lightly, it will always show the appearance of that year.

I sat there blankly for a long time, and finally got on the train to Taipei. In that city, there lived a woman whom I didn't have time to understand but fell in love with deeply.