After the rain

Turning over a page of notes, he said, "Maybe I'm nervous."

"What are you nervous about?"

"I will take the exam."

Zhang Fan asked with a question mark face: "He will be nervous about this? Rongrong, who are you insulting?"

Liu Xinrong smiled without saying a word.

Mid-December ushered in the second-year high school examination. On the day of the examination, the cold wave hit. The temperature dropped below zero overnight.

03:30 After the exam, the students returned to their respective classrooms. The hallway was crowded and noisy, and suddenly someone pointed to the sky and exclaimed - "Look! It's snowing!"

"Where is where?"

"Ah! Really!"

The snowflakes were just a few sporadic ones at first, falling slowly and silently from the sky, and disappeared as soon as the wind blew.A few minutes later, the fall became more and more dense, and the feathers flew all over the sky, cheering and putting on the new white clothes on the campus.

Song Qikun walked towards the administrative hall with the newly filled hot water bottle in his arms. He saw Shen Yan being bumped into by two slapstick boys two pillars away, and staggered a step while avoiding it sideways.

He frowned, his face couldn't help getting colder, and he walked over at a faster pace, "Xiaobao."

Shen Yan turned his head when he heard the sound, a warm hot water bottle was stuffed into his arms, he raised his hand: "I wear gloves, I'm not cold."

Song Qikun: "Give me the gloves."

"..."

Shen Yan took off the gloves silently, and heard him say again: "The snow is too heavy, it's not safe to ride a bike, let's walk back."

"Ah."

"Do you have anything to say to me?" Song Qikun stared into his eyes, almost wearing his gloves backwards.

Shen Yan wanted to say no, but seeing his expression, he swallowed those two words back, and asked dryly, "Is the test paper difficult?"

Song Qikun's eyes dimmed, "It's not difficult."

Tang Chen's sports meeting bonus was distributed at the beginning of this month, and he made an appointment on the same day to invite them to dinner after the exam. He was still struggling with what to eat, but at present, there is nothing more suitable than hot pot in this weather.

I don't eat until five o'clock, and I can go home first.

The two walked in the wind and snow for nearly four to ten minutes at a speed comparable to that of a tortoise. On the way, Song Qikun entered a pharmacy. Shen Yan was waiting at the door. He couldn't hear what he was talking to the clerk, and he couldn't see clearly what he bought. .

After hesitating for a few seconds, he asked aloud, "What did you buy?"

Song Qikun: "Nothing."

"..."

Song Qikun entered 603 naturally, did not feed milk tea immediately, but led Shen Yan to one end of the sofa and sat down, while he sat a little further away, took out the plaster bought at the pharmacy from his schoolbag, and said softly Said, "Hold your feet up."

Shen Yan's expression froze slightly, and his palms began to sweat.

"Does it hurt?" Song Qikun lowered his eyelids, and for a moment he looked like Shen Yan, "You still don't want me to see it?"

Shen Yan quickly put her foot on his lap.

Song Qikun took off his gloves, rolled up his trouser legs, and saw the warm patch on his ankle at a glance, his face was so dark that it was amazing.

"How long has it been hurting?"

Unprepared to be executed in public, Shen Yan didn't dare to look up at all, and heard him add coolly in the gap of hesitation: "It's better to tell the truth."

"One week."

Song Qikun gritted his teeth, "What did I tell you before?"

"If it hurts, I must tell you."

"And how did you do it?"

"……sorry."

Song Qikun smiled angrily, "Shen Yan, you are doing well."

"I was wrong."

"What's the use of admitting your mistakes? You..." Song Qikun tore off the warm stickers and pulled off the stockings. When his cold eyes touched his ankles, he suddenly stiffened, and he couldn't continue his reprimand.

This was the first time he saw Shen Yan's right foot.

A hideous scar obliquely broke through the abnormal-looking ankle bone, and the nearby skin was slightly wrinkled and darker in color.

There is a proper term in medicine called fracture malunion. He got such a preliminary judgment when he consulted an orthopedic doctor online one day.

His heart and lungs seemed to be cut by the scar, and the cold wind was pouring in. His hand trembled unconsciously, and he stretched out his index finger to touch it lightly, and then retracted it like an electric shock. He felt a tingling pain in his fingertips .

Shen Yan's whole body was stiff, trying to hide the ugly and terrifying wound, but Song Qikun would definitely be angrier if he did that.

He lowered his head deeply, urging in a low voice: "You... Hurry up."

Song Qikun quickly picked up the plaster, his hands were shaking even more, and he couldn't tear it off for a long time.

"are you done?"

"immediately."

Song Qikun put on the plaster with great effort, his hands still supported his feet, but he didn't follow up, his eyelashes drooping, he didn't know what he was thinking.

Shen Yan easily withdrew his feet, pulled up his socks and trouser legs, sat with his knees in his arms for a while, moved over to hug him, buried his face in his neck, and whispered, "I'm fine, don't worry. "

He actually wanted him to comfort him in turn, Song Qikun's chest was a little more blocked, he tilted his head against him, and found that his voice was terribly hoarse when he opened his mouth, "Did you go for a reexamination? What did the doctor say?"

"It's checked every six months. Actually, there's nothing wrong with it. The doctor told me to avoid strenuous exercise and keep warm if the weather affects me."

"anything else?"

"No, that's all."

"In terms of healing...is there no problem?"

Shen Yan was slightly startled, and couldn't help raising his head to look into his eyes, "What do you mean?"

Song Qikun looked at him calmly, and said frankly: "Last time your foot hurt, I consulted the doctor secretly, but I didn't describe it clearly, and he couldn't be sure."

After a little thought, he knew why he didn't come to ask himself, Shen Yan's throat choked up, and he waited for a long time before saying: "I've had two corrections, and it's already healed. Lameness is a matter of habit, and I can't change it."

He paused for a few seconds, looked elsewhere, and continued without any emotion: "When I was in the first grade, my parents often traveled on business and had no time to take care of me, so they hired a nanny. A 40-year-old Woman, she is very nice to me, but she likes to steal things from my house, she was fired after my parents found out, and hired another... That woman is a lunatic."

He stopped at this sentence, gritted his teeth again and again, grabbed his slightly trembling left hand with his right hand, touched the nails one by one as if confirming something, and frowned to recall.

"The food she cooked that day was very unpalatable. I couldn't eat it, so she lost her temper and dragged me to the bathroom. She cut my hair and nails until they couldn't be any shorter. Instead, she shaved with a razor and used Pull out the pliers."

"When the right hand was drawn, the neighbor's mother-in-law Dong suddenly knocked on the door, she covered me with an apron, took me out, and brought me to the other party."

Then he opened his apron like offering a treasure.

What was Granny Dong's expression at that time?He couldn't see clearly, he could only hear the woman's crazy laughter, like countless needles piercing into the cranial cavity, piercing and twisting the nerves.

Consciousness is blurred, but the pain is getting clearer and clearer.

"Later, my mother quit her job and took care of me for two years. How I wish time could stop at that time forever."

"My dad lost his job in the third grade. My brother needed money to go to college, and I needed money for various interest classes. We had to have financial resources, so the two of them decided to start a wholesale business and sent me to live on campus."

And so another nightmare began.

The author has something to say:

2021/1/10 Sunny Sunday

Record Kun'er's first swearing.

Shen. Education Destroyer. Yan: If there is one, there are two.

Song Qikun: ...you wait.

37. Reconcile

Shen Yan hasn't said so many words at once for a long time.

The past seems to be saved in the mind, and it is vivid when looking back.

He hid his most embarrassing self in that dark time, strictly preventing anyone from prying eyes, even when he saw a psychiatrist, he deliberately vaguely mentioned it, but now he is willing to open up an exclusive passage for Song Qikun and lead him in. .

Song Qikun collapsed halfway.

The truth was far from his self-righteous conjecture, and his psychological construction was vulnerable. Those words were sharper than the blade, cutting his soul one after another. It hurt so much that he couldn't think.

He lowered his head against Shen Yan's shoulder, from weeping silently to sobbing so hard that he almost lost his breath. While venting his emotions, he also exhausted his energy. The center of gravity of his body kept lowering, and finally buried his entire face in Shen Yan's abdomen.

Compared to his gaffe, Shen Yan, who was expressionless, was as calm as a bystander, and the tone of the narration became more and more flat, as if those serious illnesses were so insignificant that they could no longer affect him.

Obviously it used to be so painful.

He didn't want to tell others about it before because he didn't think it was necessary.It’s so so so if you don’t know, what has happened cannot be changed, and only you know how painful the wound is.

He never believed in the so-called empathy.

Your self-dissection is completely innocuous to others, and maybe you can win some sympathy and care at the time, but after that, it's just their chat after dinner, and it has no meaning other than that.

So he chose to hide and escape, even wishing to completely abandon that unbearable life.

But the wound will not heal if you keep covering it. Some things become more unforgettable the more you want to forget them. The consequence of closing your heart is that you are always dragged down by the past.

When he finally understood that he could never get out of this vicious circle by himself, he had already fallen into a situation of isolation and helplessness, shrinking and not knowing who to turn to for help.

The saddest thing is that he can't take the initiative to open his heart, he can only passively wait for someone to knock on the door.However, everyone's patience has a limit, and no one wants to take things that are insignificant and thankless.

He didn't have any hope at first, thinking that it doesn't matter if he hides for a lifetime, time is the best medicine, maybe one day he will be relieved.

But Song Qikun walked into his life unexpectedly.

I wasn't surprised when we first met