After the rain

, turned his head and glanced at the young man beside him, seeing that the other party's face was indeed not very good-looking, he grinned awkwardly.

He is clearly a man with a fierce face, but his smile is honest and honest, and he even winks at his son for help in a rather funny way.

The young man looks fair and gentle, and when he raises his eyebrows and smiles, it makes people feel like a spring breeze. He apologized softly: "I'm sorry to disturb you."

He spoke very slowly, even so, and the words were not very coherent. Shen Yan seemed to glance at his ear inadvertently. When he retracted his gaze, he collided with Song Qikun's eyes, and they looked at each other for two seconds tacitly. .

"It's okay." Song Qikun smiled.

Afterwards, although the man paid attention to lowering his volume, he reverted to his old ways when he got excited. The young man occasionally reminded him to keep his voice down, but it didn't seem to have much effect.

After eating, he had to walk home. Song Qikun believed that the main reason for Shen Yan's weak physique was lack of exercise, so he decided to walk all the way home to feed the cat, and believed that it would be of great benefit if he persisted for a long time.

Shen Yan was too lazy to walk, and poured cold water on him: "It's useless."

"Hey, you have the least right to speak."

"..."

The first priority at home is to feed milk tea. The incompetent shit-shoveling officer surnamed Shen is lazy by nature, and he acts as a hands-off shopkeeper, and Song Xiaoer is fully responsible for the feeding work.

"Huh?" Song Qikun was half-squatting to open a can for a hairy child when a mountain of people fell down from his back. He propped himself up on the floor to stabilize his center of gravity, and asked with his head tilted: "What's wrong?"

Shen Yan stared at him expressionlessly.

"Why are you frowning?" Song Qikun expressed doubts.

"..."

Shen Yan stood up and walked away, leaving him with an indifferent back of "leave me alone".

Song Qikun was thoughtful, dug out a third of the canned food with a spoon and put it in the cat food bowl, sealed the rest with plastic wrap and put it in the refrigerator, then went to the kitchen to wash his hands, then walked closer and leaned on the sofa to close his eyes. With restful eyes, Shen Yan bent slightly to stare at his face.

The skin is so fair, the eyelashes are so long, the lips...

Shen Yan raised his eyelids, "Why?"

Song Qikun observed his pupils instead, and said solemnly: "Read mind."

"Did you read something?" Shen Yan patted the place beside him.

"Well, our classmate Shen Yan seems to be dissatisfied with the results of the midterm exam." Song Qikun sat down as promised, grabbed his hand, opened his palm upwards, and slid his fingertips back and forth along the palm lines carelessly.

Shen Yan's eyebrows trembled: "..."

It seems to be right.

But Song Qikun wanted him to admit it himself, "Right?"

"Wrong." Shen Yan insisted.

"Ok?"

"Ah."

"really?"

"..." Shen Yan covered his mouth angrily, his brows and eyes were frosty, and said in a cold voice, "Are you annoying?"

Song Qikun laughed unceremoniously, stretched out his arms to hug the little hedgehog with fried hair, and pressed him down on the sofa, first kissed the knuckles on the lips, then lowered his head to kiss, and smiled lowly against the corner of his mouth: "So You think I'm annoying soon? What can I do in the future? I plan to be with you for the rest of my life. "

Shen Yan couldn't stand him like this, just looking at these smiling eyes made him feel happy, not to mention the sweet words that could kill people, his bad temper can last for three seconds at most, like a bulging balloon facing a sharp needle , there is simply no resistance.

He was so depressed that he didn't want to talk to anyone, but he was really aggrieved, and he retorted bluntly: "I didn't take the first place in my grade, so where did I get my whole life?"

Song Qikun saw the timing and said with relief: "It's okay, there are still many opportunities, you can take your time."

"What if it never takes the exam?"

"You are so smart, you will definitely pass the exam."

Shen Yan stopped talking, and lowered his eyes to stare at the cat fur on his neckline, his thoughts turned back and forth.

Uncharacteristically, Song Qikun followed the silence, withdrew his arms, and lay on his body with his forehead resting on his shoulder, with one hand inserted into his hair, and rhythmically fiddled with it.

The second hand turned around in his heart, Song Qikun reminded in a low voice: "Baby, talk."

Shen Yan's choice was to end the topic, "It's almost time to go to school."

really.

Song Qikun closed his eyes and sighed, feeling powerless and confused, and said softly: "You are always like this, I don't even know what to do."

Obviously last time he was so excited and ran over to redeem the prize with himself, but this time he just sent a casual message to remind him, he could feel the low pressure even when eating, and he was obviously in a bad mood, but he refused to say anything.

For a long time, I have been used to bearing alone, keeping everything in my heart, and rarely willing to confide in it.

Some time ago, I managed to see some hope, but now I suddenly fell back to the original point.

It would be a lie to say that you are not discouraged.

Shen Yan is like a math problem that lacks necessary conditions. It is a mystery from beginning to end. Others may give up at a glance, but he wants to solve it.

The best policy is to prescribe the right medicine, so the first step should be to figure out the missing part of the condition.

He knew that this process would be very painful for Shen Yan, so he wanted to use a step-by-step approach to break the situation. Anyway, the future is very long, and he has enough patience.

However, even so, Shen Yan's cooperation is needed, because if he is the only one who works hard, it will become a force.

The final answer won't be what he wants.

"If you don't want to tell me anything, I can't help being suspicious." He paused, and then said, "You don't really like me very much."

I don't feel needed and I don't feel safe.

Shen Yan understood what he meant, and her heart trembled slightly.

Song Qikun waited for a while and didn't wait for the expected explanation. He closed his eyes with some headaches, and when he got up, he pulled Shen Yan up, and a gentle smile appeared on the corners of his eyes and brows again, as if nothing had happened, "Let's go." , went to class."

Shen Yan lowered his head slightly, clenched his clothes helplessly until his knuckles turned white, and said with difficulty: "I'm just... suddenly not sure."

Song Qikun asked intently: "What are you not sure about?"

Shen Yan took a painful breath, frowned and then loosened, his eyes gradually lost focus, and his voice softened, "Should I get it?"

Should I get such a precious thing?Am I trying hard enough?Is it forever if you get it?Can I accept loss?

No, not enough, no, can't.

A voice deep in his heart answered him like this.

——I heard from the teacher that Xiaobao got No.1 in the exam, which is too good!What gift do you want?

——I want to go to the amusement park!

——I'm sorry baby, mom and dad have jobs, next time I will supply you, okay?

But it's the same no matter how many times.

—A gold medal?Xiaobao is awesome!Mom and Dad will definitely bring you gifts when they go back for the New Year!

But you didn't come back.

——This time I got full marks in the exam again, do I still need a plush toy as a gift?

--Um.

——Shen Yan, there will be a parent-teacher meeting the day after tomorrow, can your parents come this time?

——Sorry, the number you dialed is temporarily unavailable.

——Let's go to the beach for two days first, Xiaobao wants to see seagulls...

——Xiaobao, I'm sorry.

All the lessons in the past told him that no matter how hard he tried or how he backed down, it was still impossible to get what he really wanted.Disappointment is so frequent that anticipation has become torture, so that even if you want it later, you dare not want it, and you can only blindly seek the comfort of self-deception.

Isn't this room full of plush toys the best proof?

His countless disappointments, proofs of compromise, proof of suffering, proof of loneliness.

So who can guarantee that the same mistakes will not be repeated this time?

He couldn't control his wild thoughts, and lost himself in the traumatic memories. His eyes were empty and his face was gray, as if his soul had been sucked out. Numbness and despair piled up all over his body, and there was no light.

"...Baby, baby? Xiaobao! Shen Yan!"

Song Qikun supported his shoulder and swayed, his brows were knit into a knot, his eyes were red with anxiety, and he yelled for nearly a dozen decibels from low to high, and finally regained his sanity.

Immediately afterwards, he yelled furiously, "What's the matter with you?! I've said it hundreds of times, don't keep everything in your heart, don't think about it alone! Aren't you uncomfortable? Aren't you tired? You can't tell me what's on your mind I'm your boyfriend! Did you fucking consider my feelings? Fuck!"

Shen Yan flinched instinctively.

Song Qikun was frightened by his appearance just now and broke into a cold sweat. Fear wrapped around his heart like a poisonous snake. The toxin melted into the blood and ran all over his body.

And after realizing that he had overreacted, the tears could not be held back.

Shen Yan saw it clearly, opened his eyes wide in astonishment, and immediately stretched out his hand, "You..."

Song Qikun turned his face away and stared fiercely at the air, his Adam's apple moved with difficulty, he was trying his best to hide the choking.

"It's you who asked me to keep my promise, and you're the one who hesitated. Are you kidding me? Should I get it? I'm willing to give it to you. Just keep it and don't worry about it. You don't need to think about it." What kind of treasure chest is the first in grade, from today onwards, the only thing you have to do is to try to rely on me more."

He glanced at Shen Yan quickly, his anger was running low, but his tone was still fierce, "Did you hear that?"

"...Well." Shen Yan handed him a tissue.

Song Qikun wanted to curse again, "Won't you wipe it for me?"

Shen Yan: "..."

No matter how you put it, it was awkward, and Shen Yan still didn't say anything in the end. Although Song Qikun didn't hold on to him, his attitude towards him began to become strange—the words and expression were extremely cold, but his demeanor remained the same as before, with one side cold and the other side Heat, the whole person is a contradictory individual.

Looking at the back of Song Qikun wiping the blackboard, Zhang Fan turned his head to ask Liu Xinrong, "Why is he so cold recently? Did something happen?"

Liu Xinrong