old man feeding rules

Lu Kuang took Jiang Xun and drove to the Martyrs Cemetery. This place is close to Quexi Mountain, and it is very remote. You can only vaguely see residential areas after driving [-] kilometers into the city. There are many chemical plants nearby. The air quality has been worrying in recent years. Gradually, fewer people came to visit the grave, and it was even rarer for someone like Jiang Xun to come two or three times a month.

He and the mausoleum guard have become brothers and sisters, and each time he brings two catties of burning knives to people. He came here in a hurry today, so he could only pick a few boxes of good cigarettes to give away. Said: "It's really early today, hey, you don't know, someone came to see him yesterday, it should be his twin brother, they look exactly the same, I was shocked when I looked at him, and almost made a fuss Misunderstand."

Jiang Xun didn't expect Jiang Zhu to come. After all, the cemetery is just Jiang Juan's tomb, and only a few relics that were commonly used during his lifetime were buried. The real urn was moved into Jiang's ancestral grave many years ago, so Jiang Zhu never Would not come here.

For him, the fact that his younger brother had a place in the martyrs' cemetery but was not truly rated as a martyr was a humiliation that he could never compromise on, and keeping his mouth shut was the only way he could resist.

He hid his younger brother and didn't tell anyone, even Jiang Xun never revealed where Jiang Juan was buried, but everyone knew that there was an empty grave in the martyr's cemetery.

The more this happened, the more Lu Kuang felt sorry for Jiang Xun.

"Then, what, you can go there first, I will smoke with my brother, and I will go to see Lao Liang later."

Lu Kuang kindly gave Jiang Xun a chance to be alone with his old friend, and he gladly accepted the offer, and walked into the cemetery with a flashlight.

Visiting graves in the middle of the night is a scary thing, especially in the depths of winter when everything is bleak and cold.

Jiang Juan's tomb is located in a remote location, and it is difficult to find the place without an acquaintance leading the way. An old peach tree that has lived for nearly ten years stands at an oblique corner. Even in the ice and snow, it is still proudly independent. Psychological comfort, it seems that in this way, Jiang Juan will not be able to feel the long years Jiang Juan has spent in this corner.

"It's been nine years, and I don't know if you want me or not."

Jiang Xun wiped the gray stains on the uncharacterized tombstone. The portrait in black and white photos was very blurred, and only the outline could be discerned. In order to protect other undercover agents who are still lurking in the organization.

Whenever Jiang Xun looked at him, Jiang Xun always felt that Jiang Juan was looking at him from the other side of Yin and Yang across the monument.

"Forget it, it's enough for me to think about you. Don't think about me. If you miss me, what can you do if you don't want to leave? Then I will feel bad. I have always been a firm materialist. Only when you In my body, I hope to see the stagnation of time and the eternity of life, but unfortunately, we have come here, and we can only go here.”

He caressed the cold tombstone, the chill from his fingertips touched the bottom of his heart.

He suddenly remembered that it was the same on the day Jiang Juan left. He lost a lot of blood and felt cold all over. He hugged the man in his arms, but couldn't warm his body temperature, and watched him die in his arms...

Before that, there should be another important thing that he forgot. He remembered that Jiang Juan seemed to say something to him, or wrote something in his palm, but he couldn't remember clearly.

Maybe it was because most of his consciousness was dominated by fear at that time, or maybe it was the brain damage caused by hitting his head in the previous explosion, in short, he remembered the details of that time very vaguely.

"I don't remember what you said to me at that time. If you still want to remind me, just take the time to sleep in my dream. I know you may be very busy, so don't worry about time, I am waiting for you at any time you."

After speaking, he placed a kiss on the black and white photo.

"Pa-ta", "Pa-ta".

He heard the sound of his own tears falling on the monument.

He wiped it in a hurry, and said with a wry smile: "I'm sorry, I made you dirty. You are most annoying when others are crying, so I will wipe it clean for you."

Lu Kuang watched from afar, feeling extremely uncomfortable.

He has always felt that Jiang Xun is a person with a short temper, poor memory, and no longevity. Except for some bad habits that are self-willed and depraved, there is almost nothing he can do persistently-except for this distressing and sad habit.

In his own words, he hoped to use the rest of his life to make up for those who were not destined to be with Jiang Juan.

Undoubtedly, Lu Kuang is definitely a steel straight man who shuns homosexuality. When he was in school, he heard that so-and-so liked men in his class, so he went home and changed schools. This disgust comes from the instinct from the inside out. In response, even if the society is more open and the thinking is more avant-garde, he can't accept it, but Jiang Xun is an exception.

Unlike the sissies who are stuck together all day long and can't be hardened in the imagination, Jiang Xun and Jiang Juan are a kind of long-term relationship, a relationship that ends quickly, without lust, without greed, just enjoying the company and being accompanied a feeling of.

After Jiang Juan died in the line of duty, once he drank too much wine and asked Jiang Xun nonsense: "What's it like to sleep with a man, is it comfortable? I'm really not afraid of your jokes. I'm still a bachelor at this age, little girl I have never touched my hands, sometimes I really want to say that I should just enlighten myself and shut my heart, forget it, there are still a lot of people on this earth, gentlemen everywhere, just find someone who can make do with it..."

He remembered that it was the first time that Jiang Xun hit him, not counting the mutual exchange of ideas on the training ground, it was the only time Jiang Xun hit him seriously so far, scolded him for not knowing what to do, and threatened him that if he dared to find a man, he would definitely castrate him Then throw it into the moat.

Normally, he wouldn't dare to confront Jiang Xun with a hundred guts, but that time when he got drunk, he became muddled, and he asked recklessly: "Could it be that you haven't slept with him before? What about the mouth, have you ever kissed it? You can tell by looking at your suffocated face, you haven't touched this or that, it's boring..."

After waking up, he regretted it, and even slapped himself several times, but was stopped by Jiang Xun. He remembered that the half-dream and half-awake man hugged him and said...

"Not all love needs to be measured by sex. It's just a way to express love. Love is not made."

Jiang Xun never denied that true love can be cultivated in bed, but that is not the love he wants to pursue.

Lu Kuang didn't have the guts to imagine how painful and desperate Jiang Xun would be to kiss the cold tombstone after losing his beloved, thinking that it was the only thing left to him by his lover, even as a bystander, his heart stopped keep dripping blood...

"Little Juanzi, when can we meet again... Do you know how much I want to hug you again..."

A dream when he was dying brought him back to the original point. All the sealed memories and feelings were swept out by nine years of longing, swallowing him in a sea of ​​suffering.

"Nine years," Lu Kuang thought, "Jiang Xun, it's time to step out."

He took out his mobile phone and typed the short five words "Okay, I promise you" in the chat box with slightly trembling hands. Looking up at the still dark sky, he seemed to see a ray of dawn.

On the way back, Jiang Xun kept covering his coat and pretended to sleep, and Lu Kuang didn't bother him, until he reached the urban area, he took off his fluffy hat and said with a strong nasal voice: "Let's go, go to your place. "

"Hey, what kind of wind is blowing today, the emperor's sudden visit to my family, I am really flattered."

But Jiang Xun didn't have any intention of joking with him, his eyes were bloodshot, and with such a tired face, he couldn't even speak up, "Please send me home first, Mr. Lu, I have something to do with the city bureau later. It's been a long time of tossing, you go back to sleep first."

Lu Kuang definitely couldn't let him leave like this. He couldn't bear Jiang Xun's stubborn temper, so he could only agree. Before going home, he asked, "Really not going to sleep? I'll sleep on the floor and you can sleep on the bed." .”

"No, don't worry, it's such a long journey, nothing will happen." Seeing Lu Kuang walking away step by step, Jiang Xun suddenly had the urge to stop him.

But when he opened his mouth, he didn't know what to say, he touched his earlobe habitually, "Then what, you go to bed early, today... thank you."

"Hey, brother, why don't you say thank you, just treat me to dinner another day."

After the two separated, Jiang Xun didn't go back to the city bureau, but drove to the vicinity of the public university.

It was already late at night, the teaching building and the dormitory area were completely dark, only the dedicated street lamps flickered, and finally one went out under the ravages of the aging circuit, and the path that was not very bright suddenly went dark again.

Jiang Xun stopped in front of the school gate for a while. Except for a few rare young couples, he saw no one else on the road. He suddenly remembered that he often went out with Jiang Juan when he was in school. In the corner where the street lights couldn't see, he pushed Jiang Juan against the wall against the man who was about the same height as him, stared at his pale and thin lips, and waited for a chance to kiss him.

He didn't feel ashamed, and he wasn't afraid of being seen by acquaintances, but seeing Jiang Juan's surprised eyes, he suddenly stopped.

What he was thinking at that time was that they were still so young, and they didn't know where they would go in the future. It was normal for Jiang Juan to refuse to hand himself over to him, not to mention that at that time, he didn't have the responsibility for the rest of that person's life. Determined and conscious, so he hesitated.

...Obviously in such an ambiguous and appropriate environment.

Thinking about the past, Jiang Xun suddenly smiled.

After that, whenever he thinks of this memory, he will laugh, even if he is crying, he will force himself to laugh.

The reason why he and Jiang Juan failed to do those things is actually very simple, ridiculous, and sad, because he wanted to be on top, and so did Jiang Juan. When two 1s are together, one of them must sacrifice himself for love, but at that time they They were all too young, thinking that love is blindly possessing and protecting, but now that I think about it, I realize how ridiculous it is.

If he is given a chance to meet Jiang Juan again, even if he is allowed to stay here for the rest of his life, he will accept it.

It is because of this reason that they have not had sex for five years together, and the closest thing they do is hugging. More than 400 people hug and sleep day and night, but they stop at hugging and sleeping.

He couldn't help being emotional, he didn't know what he couldn't think about, he had to come here to torture himself, since all the seven orifices were tortured, he might as well go to a place he didn't dare to go back these years to see things and think about others, maybe he passed the hurdle in his heart , everything is really over.

He turned into a narrow alley. The Range Rover was too big and could only be parked outside. He walked into the old neighborhood without bothering to remember the address. His body instinctively found the place as if it had its own consciousness.

When he stopped in front of a house, he realized what he was doing, sighed, smiled self-deprecatingly, took out a rusty key from the gap of the fire hydrant, and turned the door lock , opened doors that had not been opened for many years.

This is where all the memories of him and Jiang Juan are sealed.

As soon as he stretched out his hand, he touched the switch by the door, and the light flickered a few times, and the light was a little dim.

After all, this house has been unoccupied for several years, so it is very rare for the facilities to maintain their original functions.

Everything here is still the same as it was when Jiang Juan left, even the mints he ate for the last time are still on the table, but they have been turned into sugar water for so many years, and after a long time, they have dried into sugar stains. It looked very bleak.

Dust choked into his lungs, Jiang Xun coughed a few times, and moved every room aside, looking at the old scenes that he dared not revisit for many years, and the scenes of the past reappeared in front of his eyes.

He sat on the side of the dusty coffee table, remembering that they used to eat around this small table, and occasionally they would cook together, the two big men who couldn't take care of themselves always made a mess at home, and it was just a matter of cleaning up. I can fight, fight...and go to bed.

Even so, they didn't make remarkable progress in the end, Jiang Xun suddenly smiled, picked up the photo frame on the table and said with a smile: "It was so ridiculous back then and nothing happened, at least one of us was that The thing doesn’t work well, I don’t admit it, I’m fine until now, nothing happened to me, no matter how you think about it, it’s you..."

In the photo, the young man who is always frozen at the age of 25 is smiling, much more easy-going than the posthumous photo on the tombstone.

Jiang Xun always felt that he had never known Jiang Juan thoroughly, but besides Jiang Zhu, he happened to be the person who knew him best in the world.

"Little Juanzi, you fucking bastard, you left me and left. Do you know what kind of life I've been in for you as a widow all these years..."

Tears couldn't stop falling, Jiang Xun wiped the wet glass plate, the quality of the photo frame was not very good, after so many years, the edges were brittle, it couldn't stand his tossing, directly on his His hands were scrapped and turned into wooden sticks, as if an old friend was yelling at him.

"You are not happy. I should be unhappy when you left me behind. You are really annoying, and you don't always consider other people's thoughts. I really have served you enough. Now I want to find someone else to serve me. It's..."

Saying this, even he himself was startled, he knew that if reason hadn't stopped him, the next words would probably be "That kid is very good to me, you can definitely see it in the sky, if you allow me to stop If you are a widow, I will entrust you with a dream, so that I can catch up with Xi Yanghong's head to find a companion... By the way, his name is Song Yuzhi".

When he thought of Song Yuzhi in front of Jiang Juan's photo, it was tantamount to indirectly acknowledging his heart... He actually accepted that person, but he couldn't pass the test in his heart.

In a daze, Jiang Juan's photo slipped from his hand, and he woke up suddenly, and suddenly found a square shape drawn with a pencil at the corner.

What it was, he had never found out before.

The author has something to say: Thank you for reading the article~ I wish everyone a happy May Day. I ran away from get off work today. I forgot to publish the manuscript. It was an hour late, but I remembered it.

Thanks to brother Xun's little wife, cute, for donating a landmine, thank you for feeding! !

Thank you for the 80 bottles of nutrient solution irrigated by Muse kitten, cute, thank you for your support! !

Thank you so much everyone! !