old man feeding rules

For some reason, as long as he thinks of Song Yuzhi, Jiang Xun will feel extremely at ease, even if he is in danger.

Someone knocked on the door: "You two's visiting hours are over, go back to your respective homes."

Jiang Juan pushed open the door and watched the nurse send Qin Shu away. He didn't close the door until he couldn't see anyone anymore, and sat next to Jiang Xun.

"Don't chase me away, for the sake of saving you from the sea of ​​fire, let me finish my sentence." Jiang Juan's tone was a bit businesslike, but it didn't ease Jiang's punishment at all. inner conflict.

It almost formed a physiological reaction. Whenever he saw Jiang Juan, he would think of how this person shocked him with electric shock and forced him to submit. An explanation.

His eyes full of resentment stung Jiang Juan, and the latter also tried his best not to mix too much personal emotion into his words, and said flatly: "Cheng Rang is dead."

He watched Jiang Xun's pupils tighten, and he would rather pretend to be indifferent than to have any communication with him, feeling unspeakably uncomfortable in his heart.

At present, exchanging the case is the only possible way for Jiang Xun to communicate with him. No matter how uncomfortable it is, he has to use this as an entry point to try to break down the high wall that separates them.

"Cheng Rang is dead," he repeated. "After the explosion, he jumped off the tower crane of the factory in front of Yan Xi and the Changning city police and died on the spot. It won't be long before the news will report Cheng Rang The news of the son's death, and the rumors of 'civil war' between Chang Ning and Yan Xi will spread like wildfire."

Having said that, he sighed.

"I remember I told you when I came back that the Changning Municipal Bureau was rotten, and there were not a few people who coveted my life. I thought that as long as I attracted their attention in Yanxi, they would not do anything to you, no think……"

Looking at Jiang Xun's shoulders that were exposed outside the quilt and tightly bound by bandages, Jiang Zhu felt very uncomfortable.

"The person who ordered to shoot you that day was the Changning City Police, Huang Zhe from the anti-drug department, my boss, you were put together by Cheng Rang and given him a reasonable excuse to get rid of you. He just said that he suspected that you were going to fight with drug dealers The black cops who traded, worried that you would be bad for them by taking hostages, so they had a reasonable excuse to kill you. This is not the first time that the Changning City Police have overreacted. But come on, the dead are the best people to keep a secret."

"Do you think you still have credit in front of me?" Jiang Xun closed his eyes and asked feebly, every word seemed to be alms to Jiang Juan, stingy and disgusting.

Jiang Zhu hesitated, "Your little lover was injured to protect you. If he hadn't suppressed the sniper's muzzle, you might have..."

Jiang Xun suddenly opened his eyes, grabbed Jiang Zhu's sleeve, and sat up all over, as if he couldn't feel any pain.

This action pulled the tubes on his body, and the surrounding machines issued harsh alarms. The bandages on his body were soaked in blood, and the hanging needles were also flowed back by veins. Even in such a half-dead state, Jiang Zhu could still feel him pulling his body The strength is gradually increasing.

"Don't be like this, lie back, and I'll tell you about his condition." He pushed Jiang Xun back to the bed, and half-coaxed him to comfort him: "He's fine, he just suffered a little injury, and it's just a little bit of pain, it doesn't matter, compared to You are not worth mentioning, do you know how badly you were injured? If the bullet misses by a few millimeters, I will..."

I will never see you again.

"I watched my brother die with my own eyes. Such a heavy blow can break all a person's hopes just once. I think at least you should die after me."

Jiang Juan wanted to say: God knows how scared I was when I saw you lying in my arms, bleeding profusely, and my breath weakened. I begged God countless times not to take you away, and I was even willing to exchange my life for you .

But he still couldn't say it, he knew that neither he nor he could go back, at least that person still had a choice, there was no need to be hypocritical to embarrass each other, and he would go back with a bit of reluctance. Until the past, what is lost is lost... As early as when he decided to give up love for the sake of family affection, today's ending was doomed.

Jiang Xun, who was still attached to Jiang Juan, had already been killed by his own hands, and that person would have a better future.

——It’s just that no matter what, it will no longer belong to him.

"Xiao Xun, you still wish..."

"I don't want to." Jiang Xun replied resolutely, "Impossible, you have no credibility in front of me. Every word you say, I have to think twice before deciding whether to believe it or not."

Jiang Juan smiled wryly when he heard the words, "Okay, I don't believe that I have the ability to lie to you. I have never been able to hide anything from you since I realized it. If this is the case, why don't you ask me, all my answers are all Withstand your doubts."

"Okay, let me ask you, why did you become Jiang Zhu when you were supposed to go undercover, how did he expose his identity, and how did he lose his life, he is your own brother! Jiang Juan, all these years, in the middle of the night, he Have you ever entered your dream, are you really worthy of your conscience!"

Jiang Juan was dumbfounded, his eyes fell out of the window, staring at a distant point.

After a long time, he replied: "Yes, every day."

He heard a long sigh.

"I dream of him every day, and ask me with a smile if I have regretted it. I regret it, and I don't regret it. What I regret is that I shouldn't be selfish at the beginning, but I don't regret choosing to give up love because of family affection. From the beginning, the person who was sent to the organization as an undercover It’s my brother, Cao Ju thinks that I’m young and vigorous, with an impetuous temper, it’s hard to make a big deal, exposing myself is a trivial matter, and the loss of life is not worth the loss, so he chose my brother.”

"But he doesn't have to bear your name..."

"My brother entered the city bureau earlier than me. He has a good reputation outside. Everyone thinks he is a good policeman worthy of the name. From the outsiders, he is not a good target for instigating rebellion. Compared with me, who has weaknesses, I am better. Being wooed." Jiang Juan smiled even uglier, "Isn't that the prejudice of people back then? Homosexuals, like drug addicts, murderers, and arsonists, have mental illnesses. They are the most vulgar and lowly group. Surprisingly, they even think that as long as they let a man sleep with me and meet my needs, I will obey them."

Jiang Xun had nothing to say. He felt that he couldn't understand what Jiang Juan had experienced in the past, and he couldn't understand his feelings when he encountered these things, so he couldn't understand his actions.

"In order to gain their trust, I was indeed the first to infiltrate the organization. I...you don't know, and I never want you to know that in order to win people's trust, I willingly degraded myself and trampled my dignity under their feet. , What is it like? In fact, our relationship should have progressed faster, but I have always refused to get close to you. Little punishment, it’s not because I don’t love you, nor because I don’t want to get you, but I'm dirty... I can't tolerate being like that defiled you, but I can't bear to leave you, so I struggled all the time in those days, so I took the initiative to keep a distance from you..."

Before he finished speaking, Jiang Xun sat up suddenly, pulled off the needle oxygen tube, and hugged him.

Jiang Juan could feel his body trembling violently, the pain was only secondary, he was actually caring for himself.

Distressed... He once thought that this would always be a luxury for him, but he never expected that he realized it again, even out of pity and sympathy, he was willing.

Jiang Xun was dumb and speechless, his mind went blank due to the difficulties he never expected, he didn't know what to say and do to make up for everything in the past, he regretted that he didn't know enough about Jiang Juan's past , The experience of his experience is not thorough enough.

...What exactly did he do, what happened to the people he loved in places he didn't know...

Jiang Juan didn't cater to his embrace, but just patted him lightly. That point was over, an understatement feeling, really seemed to have let go of the past and this relationship that had to come to an end.

"I have actually thought about it more than once before, with you, I want to be the one above or the one below. I am a person with strong self-esteem, and I like to dominate in my relationship. In my consciousness, I always feel that I am I will completely possess you. When I found out that you and I had the same thoughts, I was a little broke. I thought that we might not be suitable for each other, but in the days when I was with you, I felt that as long as the object is you, I don’t care at all. There is nothing that cannot be compromised, as long as it is you, even if you let me be below, I am willing to tolerate you and accept you, I don't know when I started, but I can't do without you."

"Ah Juan..."

"It's been a long time since you called me that." Jiang Juan held Jiang Xun's face and forced a smile, "The last time I heard it was in the martyrs' cemetery, you called me that to my brother's unlettered stele. It's going to be broken, if my brother is alive in the sky, he will laugh at us who are going to strangers when he is squatting in front of the grave."

"Why did you do this?" Jiang Xun felt that the trauma was far less than the heartache he felt after learning the truth, "You brothers suffered heavy casualties, and you paid such a high price, what are you trying to do!"

"Xiao Xun, do you know how my dad died?"

Jiang Juan asked calmly. Over the past few years, he has been able to uncover his scars without changing his expression.

No matter how much pain there is, there will always be a day when it fades away.

"You said that he used to be a member of the provincial and departmental corps..."

"Yes, he was the deputy team of the Narcotics Control Corps. He died while arresting the leader of the drug gang. The other party died with him with a bomb tied to him. But in the end, he was the only body fragment found at the scene of the explosion. The leader disappeared like a ghost. A sea of ​​flames under the eyes of everyone. For so many years, our brothers have always wanted to find out the truth about the murder of our father, so we entered the system to investigate the case back then. Sorry, between you and my father and brother, I chose them..."

"If you were willing to explain this to me earlier, how could I bear to blame you for so many years, but Ah Juan, you must know that no matter how much you pay, the dead cannot be brought back to life. Nothing is more important than a living life. You Father must also hope that you can live well, why do you have to do this?"

In a daze, Jiang Juan's hug gave Jiang Juan some illusions, as if he had returned to his youth, and the warm touch reminded him of how much he wanted to warm his slightly cold body when they shared the same bed.

But now, there is a newcomer by that person's pillow, his body is warm and his heart is full, and he is no longer needed. His regrets seem to be able to stop here, and there will be no more...

Jiang Juan took a deep breath, slowly withdrew, and left his embrace on his own initiative, "I want to say sorry to you...for what I have hurt you."

His fingertips gently stroked the electric injury on Jiang Xun's neck, and he suddenly recalled something, and hurriedly retracted.

There was apology in his eyes, but there was also a trace of strange emotion that Jiang Xun had never seen before.

Jiang Juan said: "I'm sorry for being violent to you that day. The excuse I used to protect you was a lie. It was a lie I said to deceive myself and make myself feel better. In fact, most of the reason was because I wanted to keep you. I can't accept you leaving me, and I can't bear others taking you away from me, and the remaining reason is...Jiang Xun, I really hate you."

The author has something to say: Thank you for reading the text, the little cute duck~