bad derailment

Doubt is like a seed buried in fertile soil, which breaks out after a long period of nourishment.

Jiang Qiushi's cold recovered very slowly, and it took almost half of autumn to gradually improve.His poor appetite didn't improve much, he always made a table of hearty meals habitually, but he only ate a few mouthfuls.

I proposed to accompany him to see a doctor, Jiang Qiushi agreed.After all the checkups, the diagnostic report was still chronic gastritis, and the solution was to continue taking medicine.

Sometimes I want to ask Jiang Qiushi about that phone call.But if the best time to speak is missed, even a seemingly casual question will show deliberation.

There are not so many good opportunities in ordinary life, and the desire to ask is gradually smoothed out in hesitation.I occasionally pay attention to Jiang Qiushi's mobile phone, but there is no caller ID marked as "Shao".

Near the end of the year, Jiang Qiushi's college friends returned to China and asked him to go out for a gathering.Of course I won't stop it.That night, Jiang Qiushi changed his shoes at the entrance, and before going out, he suddenly looked up at me and asked naturally and gently.

"Do you want to come with me?"

His social circle is small, but exceptionally wide.Thanks to my study abroad experience, I met people from different cities.

It was only later that I found out that the bar where I went to pick up Chen Feng was actually run by one of Jiang Qiushi's friends, and it was the base for their usual gatherings.

When I met Jiang Qiu's friend for the first time, I was a little nervous, but when I arrived at the destination, I found that it was completely different from what I thought.They were not too many, they all dressed casually, opened a table of foreign wine that could not be named, and they did not show any surprise when they saw Jiang Qiushi and I came together, on the contrary, they were so enthusiastic that I almost thought that everyone had known each other for a long time.

After a few glasses of wine, a group of people started talking.I thought that Jiang Qiushi would be more lively when he was with his friends, but I found that he was still sitting quietly beside him, occasionally turning his head to ask me if the music was too loud, or if his friends were too noisy.

I couldn't help being a little funny, and whispered in his ear: "Is this how you used to party? They play their games, and you just sit by and watch?"

Jiang Qiushi showed a little smile, and before he could say anything, his friend grabbed the conversation and came up to tease him: "Yes, it's like this every year. We've been talking about it for a long time, Jiang Qiushi came here just to gain a sense of presence. And Not chatting, not playing games, not touching so much good wine, it's just too wasteful."

Without thinking too much, I continued, "He has a bad stomach and can't drink too much alcohol."

The friend showed a meaningful expression, looked at Jiang Qiu, then looked at me, nodded and said in agreement: "I understand, the family is strictly controlled, we can all understand."

Jiang Qiushi didn't refute, just smiled and took a sip of the specially ordered hot tea.I was at a loss for words, and it wasn't until late at night that the party broke up that I had a little aftertaste.Pretending to be threatening, he asked Jiang Qiushi: "Did your friends already know about me?"

He nodded frankly, "Well, I mentioned it to them before."

"How did you mention it?" I was a little curious, or maybe the little wine I drank just now was a bit high, so I asked without thinking.

The evening wind is mixed with a thin chill, which is the rhythm of autumn coming to an end.The place illuminated by the street lamps was extraordinarily warm, and Jiang Qiushi's body was also very warm. He held my hand as he walked, instantly dispelling the silence around him.The corners of his lips were bent, and he said a solemn word in a soft and slow voice.

"I told them that your name is Lin Yao and you are my lover."

His heartbeat suddenly beat faster, trembling with the wind blowing past his ears and the rustling of the branches and leaves on the trees.

Maybe I really misunderstood Jiang Qiushi.

To make up for his sloppy birthday, I went to a nearby mall after get off work.Passing by a familiar jewelry store, I paused for a few seconds, feeling a little strange fluctuation, looked away and didn't stop any longer.

There are only a few gifts to send around. I really don't have any romantic cells, and all I think of are practical things.

As the New Year is approaching, Jiang Qiushi’s clothes haven’t been changed for a long time. I stopped in front of a men’s clothing store and was caught by the camel-colored coat on the plastic mannequin.

The clerk enthusiastically surrounded me and asked me if I wanted to try it. I hesitated for two seconds and nodded.The clothes really fit well, the texture is soft wool, the length is just up to the knee, it may be shorter for Jiang Qiushi, except for the price on the label, everything is very suitable.

Thinking of the bonus at the end of the year, and the clerk's unrepeated sales praise, I endured the pain and swiped the card.While helping me pack it, she was still doing after-sales service dutifully in her mouth: "Handsome guy, this dress really matches you. Every day so many customers come in to try it on, I still seldom have such a bright feeling." The weather will be colder next month, and you will definitely turn heads after wearing it..."

I could only smile awkwardly, thinking that this kind of marketing rhetoric was too exaggerated.But after thinking about it, he politely said 'thank you', picked up the bag and opened the store door.

A couple of men and women walked towards them, also heading towards the store.I turned sideways to get out of the way, and lowered my head to send a message to Jiang Qiushi. As soon as I reached into my pocket, I was stopped by a surprised female voice behind me.

"Lin Yao?"

Tang Manyao was holding the arm of a handsome man and calling out my name.Maybe it was a bit abrupt, but when I turned around, I pursed my lips and smiled embarrassedly, "I thought I was wrong just now, so it is really you."

The man next to her looked worried, staring at me with some hostility, lowered his head and asked Tang Manyao, "Who is he?"

From such a long distance, I could smell the vinegar coming from him.

Tang Manyao explained a few words with a blushing face, but I didn't hear clearly.The man nodded hesitantly, and looked at me with a threatening look, which made me dumbfounded for a while.

There is no need to attack indiscriminately.

"Sorry to bother you," Tang Manyao stepped forward, with delicate makeup painted on her face, obviously on the way of a date, smiling helplessly and sweetly, "My boyfriend misunderstood the relationship between you and me just now, I can only Explain a few words to him first."

I don't know why she stopped me, so I can only smile politely.

"It doesn't matter, if there is nothing else, I will go first."

Apart from two embarrassing meetings and Chen Feng, I have no other relationship with Tang Manyao.Now that she has started a new relationship, and so have I, this last connection is unnecessary.

But she suddenly stopped me, with some hesitation.

"You and Chen Feng... how are you doing now?"

I was slightly taken aback, and opened my mouth. All the words I wanted to say were blocked in my throat, and finally I said something without much emotion: "I have no contact with him anymore."

A moment of guilt flashed across Tang Manyao's face. I probably knew what she was guilty of, but I didn't want to continue listening.These things related to Chen Feng should not be mentioned again, but she said it before chasing me.

"Lin Yao, I'm sorry. In fact, I've been trying to apologize to you all this time. There is one thing... I lied to you. You came to the hospital to visit Chen Feng that day, and I said that I sent the text message by mistake, but it wasn't. I don't Know if this is the reason you are no longer in touch, if it is I will apologize to you, sorry."

She said it anyway, disrupting the balance she had managed to maintain.

"I already knew that."

I felt an indescribable depression in my chest, and I was silent for two seconds, "This is a problem between me and Feng Chen, it has nothing to do with you, you don't have to blame yourself."

Tang Manyao shook her head bitterly, "I know I did something wrong, although I had no choice but..."

She stopped, stroked the broken hair around her ears, her pretty face was a little tangled, she seemed to have made up her mind, and sighed, "Actually, when I first found out about your relationship, I already gave up. That day I I went to the hospital with the ambulance, and I wanted to help Chen Feng complete the formalities and stop contacting me, but within a few days, Chen Feng's mother found me."

The last sentence fell slowly, sparking thousands of splashes in my ears.

Tang Manyao continued: "My family and Chen Feng's family often walk around, and I have met my aunt a few times before. After she found me, she talked a lot...about you, and the content was not very good. In short, she hoped that I could Visit Chen Feng more often to prevent you from contacting her. She is an elder after all, I really don't know how to refuse, so I can only visit Chen Feng frequently to make a false impression."

I didn't think that this was the reason behind it at all. After a long time of blank mind, I found my voice: "Then you delete the text message..."

Hearing this, Tang Manyao lowered her voice: "At that time, I believed what Auntie said, and seeing Chen Feng's sluggish appearance every day, I felt a little worthless for him. Auntie kept saying that she must stop you from contacting each other, and I also I gradually felt that it was for Chen Feng's benefit, and I didn't realize it until later, no matter what, I shouldn't make decisions for others without authorization."

I was silent for a long time, and suddenly felt that all this was really a trick of nature, so I laughed, "It's meaningless to talk about it now, but thank you for telling me."

Tang Manyao pursed her lipsticked lips, "Are you really no longer in touch with Chen Feng?"

"Well, no more contact." I looked at the man waiting impatiently behind her, and Jiang Qiushi's shadow flashed across my mind, "I, like you, have a new beginning."

"That's it."

Tang Manyao seemed to be relieved, and raised a smile that was no longer so heavy, "That's good, I thought Chen Feng's situation became worse again, since you can separate peacefully, it shouldn't be a big problem. I'm delaying you today I'm really sorry for such a long time, if you have something to do, go first, I will also accompany my boyfriend to buy clothes."

"Wait a minute," I subconsciously took a step forward and called Tang Manyao who was about to leave, "What did you just say? What does Chen Feng's situation mean?"

She looked at me unexpectedly, and I looked at her incomprehensibly. After looking at each other for a few seconds, Tang Manyao said hesitantly, "You...don't know?"

My heart tightened for a while, "Know what?"

"Chen Feng, he..." Tang Manyao's eyes drifted slightly, still a little uncertain, and she tentatively said, "There is something wrong with his mental state, didn't he tell you about it?"

Mental state, mental state... This word is no stranger, it has always surrounded Chen Feng and fell in my ears.

Gu Mingsheng said it, Tang Manyao in front of him said it, and even Jiang Qiushi mentioned it.

But what exactly does this mean?I suddenly don't understand.

"What's wrong with him?" I stared at Tang Manyao closely, a bad thought came to my mind, and my throat tightened.

Tang Manyao finally realized that she said something she shouldn't have said. She bit her lip and hesitated for a long time, as if she knew she couldn't hide it anymore, she sighed softly, and her voice became lower and lower.

"Actually, it's not a big deal. I also found out by accident...Chen Feng was found to be moderately depressed."

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