bad derailment

The mood seemed to be on a roller coaster in just a few seconds. I was stunned there, and my head went blank for a long time before I found my unsteady voice.

"......Can you say that again?"

Jiang Qiushi did not hesitate, he said in a clear voice, "Lin Yao, I miss you very much."

For me, hearing the word "think" from Jiang Qiushi's mouth is no less than saying "I like you" from others.

He used to keep half of everything he said in his heart, and it was the first time he spit out the truth hidden in the second half to me.

The heartbeat suddenly climbed to a terrifying frequency, and the wind in my ears was tirelessly restless.My eyes flickered, and the tips of Jiang Qiushi's ears seemed to turn red when I saw Jiang Qiushi.

"You..." I put my hand under my lips, trying to calm myself down, "Wait a minute, are you talking about..."

"I want to say that you are a very good person." Jiang Qiushi bent his lips and looked at me quietly, "No matter what happens in the future, don't doubt this."

I suddenly felt something was wrong with this sentence, and a trace of uneasiness overshadowed my joy, and I asked hesitantly, "What do you mean?"

Jiang Qiushi's eyes flickered, as if something deep was hidden inside, still closed to me.

He lowered his eyes and let out a low sigh.

"Lin Yao, I've always hoped to meet you sooner."

His lips opened and closed gently, and he uttered a short answer in a pleasant voice, like a sharp sword piercing the shaky joy in my heart, or like a cold wind whistling past, unable to breed any warmth under the sun.

This is an unwritten rule, and the word 'tactful' is always preceded by rejection.

If I can't hear the refusal in Jiang Qiushi's words, it will be a waste of my struggles in the society for the past few years.

I couldn't help laughing, I was laughing at myself, and I was laughing at him too, "So you dragged me here on purpose, with a serious look, just to reject me, so as to prevent me from continuing to stalk you?"

Jiang Qiushi said: "Lin Yao, I just want to tell you my heart in person."

"So are you done?" I asked back.

I have never spoken to him in such a harsh tone. In front of Jiang Qiushi, I will always restrain myself a bit, and show my best side as much as possible for him to see.

But now it doesn't seem to be important, many things have become less important after Chen Feng left.

Jiang Qiushi might feel uncomfortable, but he didn't show his emotions on his face, but his already pale face seemed to be two degrees colder, and the words he said were also ice-frozen, and he was engulfed in a deep breath after taking a deep breath. Unobvious struggle.

"Sorry, I can't be with you right now, and I can't make any promises to you."

Every sentence is an outright rejection. After jumping out of the euphemistic circle, I even feel that such an answer is more direct and effective.

But the person who said this was clearly him, why was he also the one who showed a look of hidden pain after saying it?

I have known for a long time that Jiang Qiushi has many secrets, and that may be his difficulty.But he didn't want to tell me, and he still chose not to talk about it until this moment, so I knew how much the heart in his mouth was worth, and how much sincerity it was worth.

"Jiang Qiushi," I watched him call out his name, "What if I say, I broke up with Chen Feng?"

There was a slight fluctuation in the fundus of his eyes under the lens, but there was not much surprise, as if he had expected this ending early in the morning, but he still pursed his lips and said nothing.

For a moment, I finally understood the word 'opportunity' that Chen Feng always said.I gave Jiang Qiushi countless opportunities, and even almost missed the door, but he always seems to choose to stand in his own world, indifferent and restrained.

Others think he is rational and sober, but this is the first time I want to call him an asshole.

"I understand," I nodded, as if suddenly relieved in my heart, "Let's stop contacting each other in the future, and everything will come to an end here."

I said this sentence to Jiang Qiushi just now, but I still had a little luck that I didn't notice it at that time.But at this moment, I really wanted to let go, my body seemed to be lighter, and I turned and left without looking at Jiang Qiu again.

For a moment, the slightly cool fingertips brushed against my wrist, Jiang Qiushi wanted to grab me, but was a beat slower than my pace, so he could barely pass by.

It's as if the relationship between me and him has never been on the same frequency from beginning to end, only missed countless times.

"Lin Yao, in fact, I have always envied you."

His slightly trembling voice drifted into my ears with the wind, it was not a retention or an explanation, but a soft sigh like an enigma.

I didn't stop, maybe it was because I had never met the real Jiang Qiushi, and this complicated sentence was no longer so important to me, and it dissipated gently the moment it was introduced into my ears.

In the afternoon of the next day, after Lin Nuo finished his last exam, he ran towards me with the rushing students, cheered and gave me a big hug, and went to hug his parents hard.

"I'm free!"

Accompanied by this beaming voice, I took my family to the reserved restaurant and complied with Lin Nuo's request. It was her favorite Japanese restaurant.

My parents have already gone through the college entrance examination with me, and they were no longer so nervous the second time. They all smiled and let Lin Nuo have fun during the holidays. It doesn't matter what the exam is.

But Lin Nuo was obviously very ambitious, and while stuffing sushi into his mouth, he shouted vaguely: "I feel that this time I played very steadily, and I will definitely be admitted to Yanda University!"

My mother followed her temper, "Okay, if you can go up, you can go up, you eat slowly, and if you don't have enough, then we will go shopping on the third floor. I promised to buy you the shoes. Mom will help you look at them later." look."

Dad also nodded, and said succinctly: "It doesn't matter if you fail the exam."

Compared with other parents, my parents are very open-minded in learning.Although I often supervise the exam homework, if the exam is not good, I will say a few words, but I never force Lin Nuo and me to meet any requirements.

None of them went to college, but they lived a more open-minded life than many others.I still clearly remember that when I walked out of the examination room, my parents who had waited all morning surrounded me nervously, without mentioning the content of the examination, how well I performed, and took me to have a big meal like today, as a Celebration of liberation.

Perhaps because of drinking some sake, I remembered a lot of past events.It seems that a trace of anxiety that has been pressing on my heart has also dissipated a lot, in Lin Nuo's vigorous laughter, and in the joyful words of his parents.

I put down my wine glass, found an excuse and walked out of the box. When I was blowing wind outside, I suddenly remembered the cigarette I had with Gu Mingsheng that day, and my heart itch.

But after thinking about it, I still didn't go to the nearby store to buy it, and stood outside to let myself go.These days, the brain has been running at high speed, and occasionally Chen Feng and Gu Mingsheng came up, yesterday was the sudden Jiang Qiushi, and Lin Nuo's nervous college entrance examination these two days...

One after another, I almost forgot what it felt like to take a break.

"...Lin Yao?"

I was suddenly brought back to my senses by this sound, and before I could think about it, I subconsciously turned around, and saw a familiar face behind me, my eyebrows twitched twice.

But now it was too late to look away, Ren Han strode towards me after a short pause, he looked a little surprised and impatient, and then slowed down after getting closer, as if standing beside me as if nothing had happened.

"Are you here to eat too?" His voice was unnatural.

I can only nod, "Well, my sister just finished the exam, let's celebrate with her."

"Is it the college entrance examination?"

"Correct."

He nodded and fell into silence for a moment. It took only two sentences, and I didn't want to stay any longer.

I don't know what the evil fate is, I always run into Ren Han when I go out to eat.

Obviously, he and I are not friends, and it is more appropriate to say that an old classmate is not as good as an enemy, but he always wants to get close to me inexplicably, and by the way, "Don't get me wrong, I'm here to scare you" disgusted expression.

"My colleagues and I came over to eat after get off work, and the private room was too stuffy, so we came out to take a breath." Ren Han seemed to not see the reluctance on my face, and said to himself.

I nodded, "Then you continue to breathe, I'll go back first..."

"Why didn't you reply to the message I sent you earlier?"

Ren Han turned his head to look at me, his gentle face could not control his composure, revealing a hint of impetuousness and impulsiveness.Looking at his flickering eyes, I suddenly felt that Ren Han was still far behind Jiang Qiushi's indifferent indifference.

Their looks are actually similar, and they all have a bookish look. They are not stunning at first glance, but the more they taste, the more flavorful they become.Ren Han is obviously gentle and easy to talk to everyone, but he turns into a flammable and explosive gas barrel every time he sees me.It's not like Jiang Qiushi, no matter how earth-shattering he does, he still doesn't even frown, hiding his emotions tightly.

Thinking of yesterday's unsatisfactory ending, I even felt a little annoyed watching Ren Han. Although I didn't have a good impression of him before, now it seems that it is even more annoying.

"I'm busy with work, so I probably overlooked it. You can call me if there is anything important. I'll go back first, otherwise my family should be worried."

In view of Ren Han's previous convictions, I didn't give him a chance to answer after I finished speaking, and strode back to the store.Sure enough, he still wanted to grab my arm like last time, but he didn't expect to be missed by me.

I held down the doorknob and was about to push it away when his voice suddenly came into my ear, and it was not light or heavy and faded away with the wind from a distance.

"Don't you want to know about Chen Feng?"

My heart seemed to be pinched severely by someone. I froze for a few seconds and turned around. I tried my best to hide the stiffness and shock on my face, but I still couldn't control the trembling in my voice: "What did you say?"

Ren Han's expression seemed to darken for a moment, "It seems that you and him are real..."

I didn't care about the omitted part of his words, strode forward and pulled Ren Han to a more remote place, stared into his eyes and asked: "How do you know about Chen Feng? Do you have contact with him?"

Ren Han seemed uncomfortable being watched by me, he hurriedly looked away and said in a low voice: "No, the only time I communicated with him was at the movie theater that day."

I slowly calmed down, and after a few seconds of silence, I asked, "Then how do you know about him? You deliberately lied to me?"

"Do you think I'm this kind of person?" Ren Han turned his head and looked at me angrily, "He's in the same company as me now, and I can see him every day at work, so of course I know about his affairs."

These words fell beside my ears, as if something in my mind exploded with a bang.