bad derailment

After returning home, Chen Feng was sitting in the living room. He raised his head when he heard the sound, opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, his eyes froze for a while, and after a while, he asked a question: "What's the matter with your mouth?"

Fortunately, I had expected it. After coughing lightly, I sat down and ignored the embarrassment in my heart, and explained to him: "The food was so spicy when I was eating."

He remained silent for a while, "Did you get so hot?"

"No, I accidentally bit the skin." I poured a glass of water to cover up the slight unnaturalness, "By the way, I have something to ask you."

This way of breaking the topic was not very clever, it was even a bit blunt and deliberate, but after Chen Feng's eyes darkened for a moment, he still squeezed out a cold "hmm" from his nasal cavity to let me continue talking.

"What's the matter with the money in the red envelope?" I asked straightforwardly without making a fuss.

Since I received the red envelope that day, this question has been hovering in my heart.On the way back, I kept hesitating about how to speak. If my tone was too questioning, with Chen Feng's sensitive temperament, I was afraid that I would have to think too much. After getting entangled, the most appropriate way is not to be procrastinating.

Chen Feng frowned, but seemed to be puzzled by my question, "Is there any problem with money?"

For a while, I couldn't tell whether he was pretending to be stupid or really stupid, so I could only patiently say: "I checked the balance in the card, and you haven't moved a penny, and you haven't used it when you bought the ring before." money in it."

This is another thing that I suddenly realized afterwards, and all the wrong things were connected in series in a flash.I can only blame the environment that night was too confusing. I was so surprised and moved that I completely forgot to think about the source behind this gift.

Hearing this, Chen Feng only let out a short breath after being silent for a while, with a calm expression, "I used my own card when I bought it, so you didn't receive the text message."

"But," I stopped hesitantly, even though I knew that this sentence was hurtful, I said it slowly, "You have no income now, where does the money come from?"

Surprisingly, Chen Feng didn't show the displeased expression I imagined. He seemed to have anticipated what I was going to say, and said after a sneer, "Don't worry, I didn't steal or rob, and I won't harm you."

"Chen Feng, that's not what I meant. I would be very happy if you really found a job. I just don't think you need to hide it from me."

He was angry, and I realized this with a headache. I should be the one who should be angry and confused. How could he always put himself in the victim's position so naturally?

"Do you want me to find a job?" Chen Feng turned his head, his dark eyes contained dark clouds of low pressure, as if he was asking me and himself, "What kind of job do you think I can find?"

I didn't like him speaking in such a self-deprecating tone, so I immediately interrupted with a frown, "Chen Feng."

But in any case, I can't say much more than his name.

When he made the decision to drop out of school, everyone around him was persuading him, including me.Even if you can't be a professional mobilizer, you can become a coach, teacher, or change your major.He was only a sophomore, and there were so many other choices, but Chen Feng stubbornly only wanted to be that one, and only that one.

If he can't do it, he simply doesn't do anything. He is so childishly stubborn on many things.He doesn't want to work, so I will do it. He hopes that I will spend time with him after work, and I will do my best.Except for emotion, I have fulfilled all his requirements as much as possible.

But even so, his sudden bad mood and inexplicably gloomy face made me gradually lose my understanding of what Chen Feng wanted.

"You didn't tell me that Gu Mingsheng would go to your house to celebrate the New Year." Chen Feng stared at me and pulled out a cold smile, "Do you think it doesn't matter whether you talk about this kind of thing or not?"

He deserves to know me well, and blocked the explanation I just prepared.

I rubbed my eyebrows and said truthfully: "He comes to our house as a guest every year after the Chinese New Year, and leaves after staying for half a day. I don't know if he will come at this time this year, or do you think I will be free and fine?" , invite him to be a guest?"

"Then why are you hiding it from me?"

Chen Feng interrupted my voice heavily, as if it was a huge matter, I couldn't figure out why he was so persistent.Obviously he is my boyfriend, and the dominance of this relationship has been in his hands from the very beginning, why does he still have to worry about gains and losses despite this?

Every communication with him is tiring and explaining is tiring, especially since I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong at all.It seems that from the beginning to the end, Chen Feng and I have gone farther and farther on our own paranoid roads, and we will always run counter to each other.

"Lin Yao, do you know? Every time you feel impatient, you will rub your brows and make the same expression as now."

I put my hand down subconsciously, "...it has nothing to do with this matter."

Chen Feng gave a low laugh, his tone mixed with self-mockery, "Yes, it's not important, things related to me are not important, and Gu Mingsheng is your best friend, your soul mate, isn't it?"

"How many times do you want me to tell you? He and I have never been more than friends."

I suppressed the tiredness in my voice as much as possible and said.

Holding hands, hugging, and kissing, in my mind, can only be regarded as ambiguous temptations, as long as the last step is not achieved, it will never be considered deviant.

Morality needs a bottom line, but there is no absolute standard. Everyone has a dark side that they don't want to be seen by others, and this morally supreme society has not succeeded in restraining the evil factors in my heart.

This is more like an innate thing, I am easy to be satisfied, more likely to relax, once I get what I want, I will stop at the same place, indulge in the pleasure in front of me, and never worry about the upcoming consequences.

Putting aside the so-called moral shackles, I never feel that there is anything wrong with what I do, but occasionally I feel heavy and hesitant, because I know that no matter how good the gimmick is, it is a shameless betrayal and infidelity to feelings.And often at this time, there will be another voice in my heart telling me: He will never find out, as long as he is not found out, everything can be regarded as nothing happened.

But, is it really possible?

After a while, I heard Chen Feng's voice after the silence, "Lin Yao, how many things have you kept from me? Or how much more?"

I blinked and lowered my eyes, "No more."

"really?"

Chen Feng stretched the muscles on one side, and pulled out a smile that was not a smile, but in my eyes, it was a bit uglier than crying.

"The night you said you were drunk, were you really in the hotel?"