bad derailment

At first there was nothing unusual, but when I found something was wrong, Jiang Qiushi had difficulty even walking.

He still had the same flat expression, covering up all the fluctuations, only slowing down his voice, trembling inaudibly with every breath.

"Lin Yao, my chest seems to hurt a little."

The "a little pain" he said, in exchange for falling down and being admitted to the hospital.

"The cancer cells have already metastasized to the bone. If you don't go to the hospital for chemotherapy, you won't have much time left." After the doctor explained, he shook his head. "If the patient is unwilling to cooperate, there is nothing we can do."

These words flowed into my ears clearly, squeezing my heart, and I heard my own voice saying: "Is it okay to take medicine?"

The doctor said: "Medicine is just an aid, without chemotherapy or surgery, if this continues, even if the gods come, there is no way to recover."

Jiang Qiushi put back on the hospital gown.He was lying on the head of the bed with his eyes closed tightly, his black hair hanging quietly by his ears, and his face was as white as a piece of paper.

The sunlight outside the window was very good, and it came in, but it didn't hit Jiang Qiushi.I pushed open the door and saw this scene, and the doctor's words came back to my heart and knocked on my ears.

He seemed to be awakened by the noise, his eyelashes trembled, and when he opened his eyes there was a little softness, "Did the doctor finish?"

I closed the door and walked in, took a chair and sat beside his bed, "It's over."

"is it serious?"

I moved my lips and wanted to find other more gentle words to deceive Jiang Qiushi for a moment, but when I met his clear eyes, all these thoughts slowly sank, "...the doctor said it was the bone metastasis of cancer cells , requiring chemotherapy."

Jiang Qiushi seemed to have expected it a long time ago. He lowered his eyes and remained silent for a few seconds, "I'll be discharged from the hospital in two days."

"Jiang Qiushi, the doctor said that if you want to relieve the symptoms, you can only be hospitalized for chemotherapy. No matter how much medicine you take, it will be useless." I tried my best to suppress the disordered breathing, almost begging, "Why don't you give it a try?"

He held my cold hand soothingly, the palm was actually a little colder than mine, as if it would break if it was lightly folded, "Lin Yao, I've made a decision and I won't change it."

I clutched my flesh tightly, not letting my voice burst into embarrassing crying, "But I don't want to see you suffer like this again... Jiang Qiushi, I'm afraid."

"Treatment will only prolong the pain," Jiang Qiushi looked at me, and his deep voice seemed to come from a very far away place, "Lin Yao, when you see me sick again, tell yourself in your heart that you will be relieved immediately. gone."

He'll be free right away, but what about me?

Jiang Qiushi only stayed in the hospital for two days, the doctor did not tactfully dissuade him this time, but directly told Jiang Qiushi the worst result.After listening to everything, he was quiet for a while, and the answer was still the same as the beginning.

On the night of the New Year's Eve, I stayed at home with Jiang Qiushi, and did not choose to go out out of consideration.His body couldn't bear a little toss. On the way home from the hospital, there was a little cold wind, and he developed a low-grade fever in the next two days.I originally wanted to accompany him to the hospital again, but I didn't convince Jiang Qiushi.

"I don't want to smell the smell in the ward," he covered his lips and coughed a few times, and whispered, "Lin Yao, just let me be self-willed once, okay?"

I can't bear it.

I didn't leave at night, and when I slept with Jiang Qiushi, my sleep became very shallow, and I was concerned about his every move.

I was woken up by the noise in the middle of the night. I opened my eyes and subconsciously looked at the people around me. In the darkness, I could see Jiang Qiushi’s furrowed brows. His forehead was covered with a thin layer of sweat, but he didn’t wake up, as if he was raving about something.

"Lin Yao...I'm in so much pain..."

When I hugged Jiang Qiu, when my palm touched his thin back, it was like an electric shock, and I followed it gently, "It's okay, I'm here."

Jiang Qiushi endured everything, and only showed his vulnerable side when he was unconscious.He leaned against me, the body temperature from his skin was very cool, he trembled slightly, and the breath he exhaled erratically sprinkled on his ears and pierced his heart.

"Lin Yao, Lin Yao..." He was calling my name.

"I'll get you some painkillers."

Jiang Qiushi didn't know if he heard me, but when I was about to get out of bed, he held my clothes tightly, and mumbled a voice: "Don't go..."

My heart softened in an instant, and I returned to the bed, bearing those powerless fears and worries.Jiang Qiushi seemed to have found a source of peace of mind, hugged me tightly, and whispered in his ear intermittently for a long time, but couldn't make out what it was.

The low-grade fever lasted for three days.After recovering, Jiang Qiushi's mental state improved a bit, and he was finally able to go out for a walk, and his ribs didn't hurt anymore.

He accompanied me to the supermarket to buy new year's goods. This year's New Year's Eve came early, and I will go home at the end of January to celebrate the new year.When I asked Jiang Qiushi how he planned to arrange it, he seemed to be lost in thought and shook his head.

"I'm only on New Year's Eve."

I was surprised for two seconds, and quickly found a suitable reason, "Is it okay when you are abroad?"

Jiang Qiushi said: "I haven't had it since I came back. The reunion dinner is just to complete the tasks on both sides, so it doesn't count as the New Year."

I understood what he meant, and I felt complicated and uncomfortable, and said to him: "Then I will spend this year with you."

"Aren't you going home?"

I only hesitated for two seconds, "It's okay, I can tell Mom, anyway, I will go back every year, only this time, they won't blame me."

Jiang Qiushi stared at me, his eyes showed too much deep affection, and finally turned into a low voice: "Thank you, Lin Yao."

Mom's explanation went well. I gave the reason for working overtime and promised to go home in the third and fourth grades. She mumbled a few words and didn't ask any more questions.Lin Nuo guessed the reason right away, accused me of being a 'traitor' who forgot his sister, and asked for a red envelope in advance.

After transferring the red envelope to Lin Nuo, I thought that I should also give Jiang Qiushi one, but the red envelope was not filled with money, but the peace talisman I asked Zhao Quan to buy before.A few days ago, he went to the temple with his girlfriend to burn incense, and asked me if I would like to bring a peace talisman or a string of Buddhist beads, some of which were consecrated by a master, and it was very effective.I usually don't believe these words the most, but when I received the news, I still asked Zhao Quan to bring a safe talisman that was said to be very effective and had been consecrated.

Jiang Qiushi wore it on his body after receiving it. Maybe it was really effective, or it was a psychological effect. The condition seemed to be gradually calming down and getting better.I went to look for him after get off work, and found that Jiang Qiushi had bought some dumpling wrappers and meat fillings, and said that he would make a dumpling for me as a return gift for the peace talisman.

I couldn't help laughing, "New Year's Eve is three weeks away, why are you in such a hurry? Anyway, I still have to eat dumplings by then."

He said, "I'm afraid that by that time, I won't have the opportunity to make it for you."

The smile I just raised was a bit forced, and it weakened a bit, "Don't say such things."

Jiang Qiushi's voice was light, still exuding a reassuring atmosphere, but it made me panic in my heart, "Lin Yao, I know my body well."

I didn't answer.

This dumpling meal was finally finished by me and Jiang Qiushi together.The first time he made a bag, the first two techniques were unfamiliar. After I showed him one, he could imitate the nine-point image the third time.In the end, he almost didn't need my hands, and he finished making a whole plate of plump and round dumplings.

Perhaps because of the special meaning of doing it by himself, Jiang Qiushi seldom ate a whole bowl and there was nothing left.I raised my heart, worried that he would spit it out like the previous few times, but fortunately this worry did not materialize.

He came out of the bathroom after taking a shower, wiped his wet hair, and the water droplets fell down his neck to the open collar. His complexion, which had not been exposed to the sun for a long time, was almost the same as the white bathrobe.I blow-dried his hair, and the soft ends ran through my fingertips, which was very comfortable to the touch.

"Have you finished your medicine for today?"

"Finished."

I asked again habitually, "Does your chest still hurt?"

Since the last time, I knew that Jiang Qiushi would not take the initiative to explain his illness, so I asked instead, which gradually became a subconscious habit.

Jiang Qiushi shook his head, turned his head to meet my eyes, and said in a low voice, "It doesn't hurt, but the medicine is a bit bitter."

I paused unexpectedly. In my impression, Jiang Qiushi had never said such words that could be called showing weakness.He propped himself up and got closer to me, without the cover of the glasses, he could clearly see the quiet eyes reflecting my shadow, and gently kissed my lips while looking at each other.

All was quiet, and he breathed lightly.I maintained the previous action and didn't react.

Jiang Qiushi held my face and deepened the kiss little by little. When we parted, he had already pressed me on the bed, and the already loose nightgown was torn off a little, exposing his chest.

My breath was stagnant, and everything I wanted to say was blocked in my throat.

"It's not bitter now," he said.

He bowed his head and kissed me again, I turned my face away, and my lips fell on my cheek.I leaned against Jiang Qiushi's shoulder, and felt a little hot when I touched that piece of skin. I calmed down and said: "Jiang Qiushi, don't do this."

The fluctuations in Jiang Qiushi's eyes seemed to dim for a moment, he pursed his lips, and slowly clenched the sheets with his hands beside him, "Is my current appearance ugly?"

"No, why do you think so?" I subconsciously softened my voice, "Go to bed early, don't be too tired."

Jiang Qiushi didn't give me a chance to escape this time, he blocked my lips again, and slowly unbuttoned his clothes with his other hand.The breath and the fragrance of the shower gel enveloped me, and I wanted to push it away, but I couldn't resist his gentle offensive, and gradually catered to the kiss.

"Lin Yao, I washed myself very clean," Jiang Qiushi leaned close to my ear and kissed softly, "Don't dislike me, okay?"

"I'm not......"

Maybe he didn't want to hear the words behind, and integrated all the voices into the lingering blend of lips and teeth.I grabbed Jiang Qiushi's bathrobe tightly, without any resistance.

It's not that I don't want to accept it, but I don't know what kind of attitude I should take to agree to Jiang Qiushi, and how to face this relationship without answers and results.

He said many, many words in my ear, but in the chaotic aftertaste, I can only remember a few broken words.Jiang Qiushi hugged me tightly, and in the end all the words turned into a sentence of "I love you".He seemed to be crying, and the tears fell on my face, on the pillow behind my head, and I couldn't tell whether it was mine or his.

"Lin Yao, I love you..."

I can't remember how many times he recited this sentence, until his consciousness became blurred, and he could hear a forbearing and deep echo in his dream.

Bad changes come suddenly and without warning.Like the first snow last year, I only knew it would come, but I didn't know what kind of mood and picture it would be when it really came.

Jiang Qiushi couldn't eat at all, no matter what he ate, he would spit it out in the end.The body has developed resistance to painkillers, and even higher doses have no palliative effect.

It's New Year's Eve soon, festive music is played in the streets and alleys, and bright lanterns are hung.Jiang Qiushi finally couldn't resist my pleading and was admitted to the hospital.He refused surgery and chemotherapy, and the doctor gave a conservative treatment plan before finally agreeing to nod.

He also seized the opportunity to dig up the past, and lowered his voice because of his weakness: "I said at the time, if you wait until New Year's Eve, you won't have the chance to make dumplings yourself."

I squeezed my palm, held back my tears with the pain, and smiled as much as I could, "Okay, you have a good rest and don't talk much."

Jiang Qiushi held me tightly and with great force, moved his lips, and asked again: "Is my current appearance ugly?"

I shook my head and kept shaking my head, "No, it's very nice."

"Lin Yao, you don't have to lie to me. I can't even recognize myself when I stand in front of the mirror," Jiang Qiushi said, "If I looked like this when I first met you, wouldn't you like me?"

"Don't talk nonsense, of course I like you," I leaned over and kissed his cool lips, "I will always like you, Jiang Qiushi."

There was a gentle smile in Jiang Qiushi's eyes, like melting snow, flowing silently into my heart.I've always thought he looked good when he smiled.

The day before New Year's Eve, my mother called again and asked if I really wasn't coming back.I stood at the door of the hospital, with the cold wind blowing across my cheeks, and I responded one after another, and suddenly heard a sigh from the other end, and said hesitantly: "Yaoyao, what you said last time, Mom went back and thought about it."

I came back to my senses, squeezed the phone tightly, "...what did you say?"

"You said that if you don't get married for the rest of your life, I discussed it with your father and asked Nuonuo, but she supported you very much and came to us to say good things about you," Mom couldn't help laughing, "Yaoyao, in the final analysis, your dad and I want to see you get married just for your happiness, but if getting married makes you feel unhappy, mom won't force you. Now young people have young people. Thoughts, I asked Aunt Gu, and she also told me that Xiao Gu told her a long time ago that she doesn’t plan to get married in the future. Your Aunt Gu is very open-minded and chatted with me all afternoon. I will think about it when I go back I think it makes sense. Yaoyao, don’t worry, your dad and I are not that kind of old antiques. The next life will be bitter or sweet, and you will live it yourself. Your own health and happiness are the most important. Mom won’t say much else. In case you think I'm nagging, when you're not busy at work, remember to go home and have a look. Your dad usually doesn't say anything, but these days he keeps asking me if you really won't come back for the New Year. He still misses you very much. "

I opened my lips, and the wind blowing across my face seemed no longer so bitterly cold. I heard the fast beating heart in my chest, and a slightly trembling voice came out of my throat: "Mom..."

"Okay, don't talk about it, just know what your dad and I mean. I'll make an appointment with you, Auntie Gu, to play cards later. You can go about your business, don't miss us, and don't buy new year's goods. I didn't buy anything last year. finish eating."

The phone was hung up in the voice of my mother, and I stood at the door of the hospital, a hot current burst out from the bottom of my heart, and I became completely alive.I held the phone tightly, turned around and walked back to the hospital. At this moment, I desperately wanted to see Jiang Qiushi, but I didn't know why, but I wanted to see him very much, longingly, from the bottom of my heart.

I pushed away the ward, and before I could get in, the doctor and the paired nurse rushed out pushing Jiang Qiu on the bed.Seeing me stunned, the doctor said: "Mr. Lin, the patient has just lost consciousness, his blood pressure and heartbeat have dropped suddenly, the situation is very dangerous, and emergency surgery is necessary now, can you contact his family?"

"Family..." I felt as if I had been hit on the head, and I was in a mess, "I don't know, what happened?"

The doctor said seriously: "The patient's condition is very bad now. Just now he vomited a lot of blood and multiple organs failed. You have to be mentally prepared for the worst. If the family members cannot be contacted, we will also perform surgical rescue."

"Lin Yao..." Jiang Qiushi, who was lying on the hospital bed, groaned weakly. His hand on the quilt moved vigorously. I quickly held it, and walked quickly to the hospital bed in the operating room.

"Jiang Qiushi, how do you feel?"

He moved his pale lips, trying to pull out a smile, but he couldn't do it no matter what, "I'm sorry... I may... I won't be able to spend New Year's Eve with you."

"No, you can definitely get better," I said tremblingly, tears like an open floodgate could no longer be held back, "Jiang Qiushi, hold on, didn't we promise to make you a better one next time?" Birthday? There are still so many wishes that have not been fulfilled, don't be so selfish, just treat it for me and don't give up, okay?"

He nodded slowly and with great difficulty, the blood at the corner of his mouth added a color of death to his pale face.

The doctor pushed Jiang Qiushi into the operating room, hearing hurried footsteps and layered conversations. The light of 'in operation' came on suddenly, and a dazzling red took away all my heart and soul.

I lingered at the door of the operating room, not knowing how long it had passed, time seemed to be completely frozen, and the sky outside the window gradually darkened.

The high-rise buildings not far away turned on the lights, and there were all kinds of people downstairs, as well as the pagoda tree at the entrance of the hospital.

Tomorrow night is New Year's Eve.

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【End of text】

Finish spreading flowers!

This ending was conceived before I wrote it. For them, it is the end of a stage and the best ending.But don’t worry everyone, I said before that it will be he, that is, the next stage, Xiao Yao and Xiao Chen reunite, and Xiao Gu will start again.These stories will be placed in the extra chapter of the next chapter.

There will also be a first-person view of the three attacks promised before, and the follow-up will be released slowly, and it will be finished within this month.

Finally, I would like to thank all of you who have seen this, and thank you all for accompanying me to finish writing this story, whether it is appreciation or criticism, I am very grateful.For the author, your comments and feedback are the biggest motivation for me to write.

Hope to see you in the next article!Quietly tell everyone that the biggest spoiler has always been in the copywriting, "Boyfriend, lover, and Bai Yueguang" is not their relationship at the beginning, but their ending.