bad derailment

The two thin pieces of letter paper seemed to weigh a thousand catties when I picked them up, dragging my arm and falling heavily.

I didn't dare to read it a second time, so I slowly folded the letter paper and put it back in the opened envelope.

Together with the ring Chen Feng gave and the key returned, they were locked into the drawer beside the bed.

The moment I saw it, I realized how well I kept these items.They carry the memories about Chen Feng and accompany me silently at the place closest to me.

This existence that has never been noticed has been lingering around me.

My chest was so constricted that it was difficult to breathe, as if I was immersed in cold water that submerged my body, swallowing me inch by inch from the inside out.

I leaned against the wall, sat by the bed, dialed Chen Feng's number, and the mechanical female voice said tirelessly: "I'm sorry, the phone you dialed has been turned off..."

again and again.

"Sorry, the number you dialed is empty..."

Chen Feng may have arrived at the destination.

The exposed hands turned from cold to numb, and the eardrums were constantly pounded by the same tone.A faint light broke through the darkness outside the window, and the phone automatically shut down and went out because the battery was too low.

I lowered my head and pressed my sore eyes. The tears had dried up on my face, and I couldn't feel anything.

It seems to fall into a kind of peaceful emptiness, buzzing, and only one thought is very clear.

Chen Feng really left.

No joke, no prank, he left the city and left me here alone.

I should have reacted when he repeatedly emphasized "the last time", and when I found his unusual attitude and fluctuations, I should have asked him what happened... Countless opportunities were in front of me, but I did nothing.

I took it for granted and believed confidently that Chen Feng would never leave.

He loves me so much, doesn't he?

It turns out that people are really exhausted, they will write a farewell letter on a certain day when disappointments pile up, they will quietly pack their luggage in the cruelest way, and leave alone.

Don't give me any chance to recover, even if it's just a message or a phone call.

Yeah, he already told me it was 'the last time'.The person who lied to me has always been myself.

"Chen Feng..."

I murmured his name involuntarily, my vocal cords trembled slightly, and there was a resonance from the depths of my throat and soul.Breaking apart strokes one by one, following the lips and teeth, never said these two words so slowly and clearly.

He managed to be a villain once, and cut an unforgettable knife in my heart.

After tonight, I never had another chance to call out that name.

Yancheng has completely stepped into winter.

Towards the end of the year, work became busy, and my parents called me a few more times, asking me to add more clothes, keep warm, and hurry up to find a girlfriend.

I responded casually, focusing on the sofa beside me.At this time last year, Chen Feng should have been sitting beside me, asking me with a cold face, 'Why can't I go to your house for the New Year? '.I don't remember what I answered, it should be similar to negation, rejection.

"Yaoyao, Lin Yao, are you listening?" Mom called my name a few more times, muttering in displeasure, "Really, I can lose my mind when I'm talking to you. Did you hear what I just said? You are not young, young After another pass, I will be 27, and I still haven’t even seen a girlfriend. The girl who graduated from the normal school I introduced to you last time, she has even set a wedding date, which will be in March next year. Look at her, What a girl, who made you insist on rejecting her at the beginning."

I regained my senses and pressed the center of my eyebrows, "Mom, you don't need to be so anxious, these things are still early, I still focus on work now—"

"Work and work, and have the same virtue as your father. One day you don't put work as the most important thing, and you will become an old man. At that time, which beautiful girl will like you? Your father and I are still waiting to have a grandson."

Mom said bitterly.

The corner of my mouth twitched, and I was silent for two seconds, "What if I don't get married?"

"What do you mean not getting married?" Mom seemed to be taken aback for a moment, "I just urge you to hurry up and find a girlfriend, and I don't really want to drive you to the wedding. When the time comes and the wedding day and details are up to you young couple The final say..."

"That's not what I mean," I opened my mouth, "I mean, what would you do if I never got married in my life?"

The moment the voice fell, the heartbeat climbed to a terrifying speed.

I once imagined the scene of coming out, and my parents' reaction after hearing it. For a few moments, I really wanted to tell them the truth.

But every time I go home and see the familiar faces of my parents, all the well-prepared remarks will be forgotten.

When this sentence overflowed from the bottom of my heart naturally, I was stunned for a long time.

Mom was quiet for a while, I listened to my breathing, the few seconds seemed extremely long, and finally came her tentative inquiry: "Yaoyao, what do you mean by that?"

"I......"

I covered my forehead and looked down at the floor, as if I saw other blurred images through this layer of brown, "I mean, if I never find a suitable person and choose to get married, will you be disappointed?"

"Yaoyao, did something happen to you?" Mom asked.

"No, nothing happened," I clutched my phone, my voice getting lower and lower, "It's a friend of mine who was forced by his parents to choose an unhappy marriage... I was thinking, is this really the case? Is this correct?"

"Mom didn't mean to force you." After a long time, a sigh rang in my ears, "Yaoyao, your dad and I are just worried. You have been working outside alone for so many years, and you have gradually stabilized. Think about your own major issues. We will all grow old one day, and we can’t keep talking about it in your ears for a lifetime. When your matter is settled, your dad and I will be able to retire with peace of mind.”

I pursed my lips, "Mom, I'm living a good life now, you don't have to worry at all. What's more, no one can tell the life after marriage. It may not be as comfortable as I live alone."

"You haven't even tried, how can you know?" Mom didn't respond, her tone was not serious but stubborn, "You can still get divorced after getting married, it's not like what is said outside, what kind of grave. Yaoyao, you are Thinking is too exaggerated, too pessimistic. Everything has a bright side, you have to think about it more."

I sighed deeply in my heart, full of tiredness, and finally changed the subject, "I'll talk about this matter later, I still have work, if I have nothing else to do, I will hang up first."

Mom also seemed to be hiding something on her mind, so she didn't talk about it any more.I heard a busy tone in my ear, and for a moment, I vaguely understood Jiang Qiushi's feeling.

These words, which couldn't be simpler, suddenly became extremely sharp when they faced their parents and relatives. They lingered around their lips several times, but they couldn't find a way to say them.

He is obviously the closest person, yet he has to be extremely cautious and cautious even when he asks a question.

The next day, Lin Nuo sent a message asking me if I had said something to my parents, and spent the whole day beckoning her and asking some weird questions.

My heart skipped a beat and I told her that it was nothing but that I was urged to marry again.Lin Nuo sent an emoji of a cat crying, and then said: Brother, don't worry, I will unite with you, and I will definitely help you keep it secret to the end!

Before I could reply, she quickly sent another message: By the way, how are you and Teacher Jiang doing recently?

His fingers paused on the top of the screen, typed a sentence of 'very good', deleted it, typed another sentence again, deleted it again, and finally sent a plain reply: not very good.

Lin Nuo:?

Lin Nuo: Brother, did he do something to apologize to you? ?

Looking at these two messages, I couldn't help but twitched the corners of my mouth, mocking her, and asked her: Why do you think so?

Lin Nuo replied quickly without any thought: anyway, no matter who is right or who is wrong, it is the fault of others.I told you a long time ago, to help relatives is not to help.But if Mr. Jiang really did something to be sorry for you, brother, you must tell me.I immediately went to my little sister, pulled a banner to the school gate, and accused the scumbag in front of all the teachers and students of the school, and let him die on the spot!

There was no sign of her praising Jiang Qiushi in the words, and after all, she added a funny emoji.

I couldn't help laughing, this time it was no longer a mockery, but with some real emotion, I replied to Lin Nuo: Think about it before doing this, whether your brother or I will die first.

Lin Nuo immediately replied Zhang's cute emoji, probably because he couldn't think of anything to fool people and tried to get away with it.

In fact, if she really wants to do this, I won't stop her.Jiang Qiushi has already submitted his resignation letter to the school, which is expected to be approved this week, and soon he will no longer be a teacher.

He seemed to have a list in his mind, and every time he completed a task, he would put a tick on it.

The day I went to the office to move things, I went to help.There are not many things, throw away the unnecessary waste paper and textbooks, and only use two boxes to fill up everything.

Teacher Wang at the adjacent desk was holding a thermos, and said regretfully, "Mr. Jiang, why did you suddenly think of resigning? I haven't heard you mention it before."

Jiang Qiushi explained peacefully: "Recently, my health is not very good, and I want to go home to rest for a while, and put aside work."

"You are still young, so you can't be careless about your physical problems. It's good to rest and recuperate. You will have a chance when you come back later. Even if you leave now, the students in the class will be very reluctant." Teacher Wang said.

Jiang Qiushi pursed his lips and smiled, "When the new teacher passes by, you can get used to it slowly."

As I listened to him having a warm conversation with the teacher in the office and saying goodbye, my heart seemed to be blocked by something, and I felt unspeakably bored.After chatting with all the teachers and handing over the work, Jiang Qiushi picked up the cardboard box and said to me, "Let's go."

"it is good."

The noon sun was very bright, and there were scattered students running on the playground, and some gathered under the shade of the trees to chat and play.Several boys competed with each other for a basketball, dodged and jumped, and the cheers were full of youthful vigor.

Jiang Qiushi looked at them, a slight smile unconsciously appeared on the corner of his lips, very light and faint, it stayed for a short time on this cool-toned face, and then slowly went out.

I asked him, "Aren't you going to say goodbye to the students?"

"No," Jiang Qiushi shook his head, "Children are sometimes more sensitive than adults."

He retracted his gaze, hiding the flash of loneliness.I know that he wanted to do that in his heart, but maybe it was out of regret, he didn't know what to say to the students, or maybe he just couldn't bear to deceive them.

When I looked at Jiang Qiu, I asked in a strange way: "Why did you want to be a teacher in the first place?"

Jiang Qiushi's eyes were fixed, as if caught in a long memory, and he said softly and slowly: "At first, I was influenced by my high school teacher. Because of him, I have a vague liking for this profession."

"Later, I never encountered anything I was interested in again, and becoming a teacher gradually became an obsession." Jiang Qiushi tilted his head to meet my eyes, pulled his lips and smiled faintly, "Now that I think about it, this It was one of the few good decisions I made."

My heart trembled slightly, ignoring the ups and downs, "After all, this is something you really like."

"It's not just that." He shook his head, the quiet eyes under the lens were filled with faint waves of light, shining brightly into the bottom of his heart at such a close distance.

"Meeting you is also one of the right things."

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The final outcome is he, but before he needs a buffering separation.There is an update tonight