[Tokyo Ghoul] Shuko's Daily Handbook

He felt as if his mind had been thrown into the washing machine, walked to Sasaki Kinyo's apartment in a daze, opened the door and sat down in the lobby.After a while, he came back to his senses.

Jiuzi will always inadvertently regard Sasaki Kinyo as Kaneki Ken, even though they are the same person, but it is based on the stages of acquaintance and non-acquaintance, long-term acquaintance and new contact.Sasaki Yuyo felt a little strange about his involuntary liking for another person, as if he was being controlled, he naturally would not like this feeling, and he felt that Jiuzi seemed to be pulling him to a certain person , or a certain kind of emotion, to put it bluntly, is a substitute.

He once knew on an entertainment program that Jiuzi actually had a relationship, but when the host asked Jiuzi, Jiuzi didn't say the person's name, saying that the person was gentle and kind, with firm belief and will. The person, Sasaki Kyoyo had a period of jealousy at the time.

Kind of morbid.

Why...it's almost the same, why do you only like that guy who no one knows?

He is obviously much better than that guy...

His liking for Jiuzi is true, but not to the point of being unforgettable. If he was asked to choose between Jiuzi and QS, he would definitely choose QS without hesitation, because for him, this kind of love is possible. No, he already has Arima Kisho [father], Mado Akatsuki [mother], and the members of the [QS] class who are hard-working children. For love, it is just an additive to life.

Kaneki Ken is different. His family passed away when he was very young, and he only had one friend. Jiuzi was the first innocent child who smiled at him like sunshine. For him, he was like a shadow in the dark. redemption.Without his relatives, he is burdened with the strange laws of ghouls, and he always regards Jiuzi as his support point, supporting his warm center of gravity.

Jiuzi thought about a lot of things until he became dizzy. He didn't have a tea party. Looking at the refrigerator full of puddings, milk tea and other snacks, he brought a lot of snacks to Mi Lin.Then he crawled into bed with his teddy bear and fell asleep.In the dim light he lowered his eyelids, covering the brilliance in them, and his long eyelashes fell in silhouette under the sockets.

It was very quiet, without any sound, as if everything was still and had fallen asleep forever.

He doesn't know why he's so tired, even though he just got out of bed two hours ago.My mind was slowly full of messy things, like cement and water, which turned into a viscous cement slurry mixture as soon as they were turned and stirred.Cement, a powdery water-hardening inorganic gelling material, is mixed with water to form a slurry, and then it solidifies firmly. It is heavy and tiring, and it fills the whole brain.

That's what upset is all about, isn't it?

He was thinking wildly, with his eyes closed, and he couldn't fall asleep, so he might as well not sleep at all.He opened his eyes, filled with clarity.Jiuzi rumpled his messy white curly hair, yawned lazily, and tears flowed from the corners of his eyes, then made a cup of coffee and sat in the corner of the room.Slowly sipping the coffee in small sips, his eyes glanced blankly at the furniture in the room, then lowered his eyes and stared at the floor.

Empty and cold.

Kind of... lonely... annoying.

He hesitated for a moment, and the sound of music rang out in the empty room.

Bit by bit, every note, every rhythm is like a drum hammer hitting his heart.

The boy closed his eyes, leaned against the corner, and the non-stop music kept going——

He didn't answer it. Slowly, the phone stopped clamoring and stayed quietly in a corner of the backpack.So annoying, so sad, so weird.He was a little uneasy, a little panicked, a little lost, and suddenly seemed to be a different person-he suddenly trembled and bit his fingers.His flustered eyes, violently trembling body, mixed with confusion and gloomy breath.

The boy's eyes kept moving rapidly, as if he was afraid that he was about to leave.

"Crack bang—" the sound of nails breaking.

He snapped his teeth hard and bit off a thumb, mixed with blood and nails, he swallowed it.

He felt blood in his mouth, and he buried his head in his knees helplessly.

The expression on his face changed again and again, and his face was as pale as paper.

Slowly, slowly, he suddenly thought of something, and raised the corner of his mouth——

A hoarse laugh escaped from his throat - he covered his face, his laughter was sweet and cold.

A chilling laugh.

The corners of the boy's mouth were raised high, and his beautiful dark blue eyes were not angry at all. He smoothed the corners of his mouth, showing a cute and gentle smile.

Suddenly, the boy calmed down, his face was cold, and he looked dumbfounded.

"Am I crying?"

He caressed the corners of his eyes with his fingers, and the wetness from his fingertips made him stunned.

"...tears?"

"Lost?"

He was crying, and he was crying again, what... He agreed not to cry again, but Jiuzi still loves to cry and hates it.Tears fell, drop after drop, from the sockets of the eyes, wet and hot, and from the cheeks, "tick-tick--" Jiuzi's eyes were red, and his eyes were full of confusion-why did he want to crying?He didn't want to cry, the tears fell by themselves...why?Why do tears fall?Jiuzi felt so sad, so sad, and then fell down.

Why be sad, why be sad?

It's strange, but I'm still feeling emotional.

Why do tears fall.

Is it falling for me?

Why is it that only Jiuzi is crying every time?Everyone, don't you cry?It is obviously very sad, the heart is hurting, have you heard it crying?He froze for a moment, without the slightest trace of blood on his pale face, covered his eyes with trembling fingers, and curled up in the corner, "-Qing, please don't abandon me-I-I will be very good-please don't abandon me How am I? I will be very good, very good... very good..." Tears dripped helplessly from the gap between the fingers, and in the room, only he was left helplessly muttering, "... ...I will be very good, so I won't be thrown away again?"

Just stay there obediently.

Stay obediently...

Obediently...

Don't be abandoned any more--

Solitude, turmoil, restlessness, dead silence—

He stood up in embarrassment, accidentally tripped over the coffee cup, ignored his coffee-stained shirt, staggered to the bed, and rummaged through his phone.He dialed the same number again and again, and with the busy signal again and again, he stared blankly at the phone screen, dialed one after another, and finally got through.

"..."

"... wine?"

"..."

"Is it Jiuzi? I'm a bit busy at work. If it's at noon, I think we should calm down. I'll..." Hang up.

"...Don't, don't hang up, don't hang up." His vague cry was transmitted to the other end of the phone, and he wiped his tears in embarrassment, "Please don't hang up, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, don't hang up—don't Hang up, please, please don’t hang up, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s my fault, I’m sorry for being so willful, I’ll be good—please, please don’t hang up…”

"..."

"Jiuzi...are you crying?"

The boy pulled out a tissue and kept wiping away his tears, even though some of the stiff tissue caused him some pain, "I... I didn't cry, I really... really didn't cry, I'm apologetic—I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm very sorry about what happened today, it's all my fault—" murmuring, the murmuring voice kept trembling.

"..." The young man was taken aback and sighed, "I heard you right, you are crying, right?"

Jiuzi was stunned, and bit his lip to keep himself from making the slightest sound.

"Honestly. Did you really not cry?"

"...will you throw me away?"

"Will you hate me?"

Sasaki Kyoyo slowly closed his eyes and collected his thoughts, "I...do you still remember what I said last night? I was the one who said 'I like Jiuzi' first, so I won't abandon Jiuzi unless it's Jiuzi who doesn't like it. I like me. Jiuzi has always been a very obedient and lovely child... As for me, I will not abandon Jiuzi, please rest assured, don't be sad, I promise you, one day I will not Make you feel so sad again."

...won't it be thrown away?Treat it like garbage, throw it away like useless things?The young man stared blankly at the lit screen, slowly raised the corners of his mouth, and smiled through tears, with a silly look, "...I, I won't throw away Xiao Sagi, I like Xiao Sagi very much!"

"……Um."

Jiuzi obediently followed Sasaki to finish the report, then carried the teddy bear to the refrigerator, tiptoed to take out milk pudding and chocolate mousse from inside, then moved two small stools to the balcony, and a A small table.Desserts and two cups of black tea are neatly arranged.

"Teddy, Jiuzi has to eat a lot today. What about you?"

"...Forget it, Teddy can't talk."

He stroked the teddy bear's brown head, a sweet and satisfied smile spread across his face. "Leave some for little Sagi."

On the balcony, the breeze was blowing, and the wind chimes were vibrating, and the crisp ringtone seemed to be replying to the boy's words.

Yes.

Xiao Zuomu said that he would go home tonight.

The author has something to say: I have no time to update when I go back to my hometown on weekends, sorry