come close to me hold me

In an instant, the sky collapsed and the sea cracked.

do not forget?No one ever told her that she could not forget.Everyone persuaded her to come out, and everyone said it was not her fault.But in the end it was he who handed over the car keys with his own hands, in the end it was he who failed to save his sister, everyone died, only she lingered on.

She didn't dare to forget, how could she have the right to forget.

While freezing the pain while reminding her of her sins, she almost forced herself to death as she fought with swords in conflict.She never thought that she could be self-consistent, and she could not forget.Don't forget, you can also come out.

Jiang Yien, once again with precision, shattered her defenses.

"Xiao En, thank you."

It took a long time for Jiang Yien to hear a hoarse and mournful voice from the other end of the phone, and after a while, the sound stopped abruptly.Probably that person couldn't help but collapsed, so he hung up the phone in a hurry before he lost his composure even more.

Su Wen stood outside the door curtain, listening to the people inside gradually weeping bitterly. When he opened the curtain, he saw a miserable figure in the dark lying curled up with his heart covered. It turned out that such an indestructible person would also be as helpless as a children.

She knew that she should be happy for her, at least, An Xun learned to cry out her pain.She also knew that all of this was Jiang Yien's contribution, if she went up to hug her to comfort her at this moment, it would be stealing someone else's achievements.She also knew that the person An Xun expected to rely on was not herself.

So after a sigh, she finally turned and left.Little did they know that under the moonlight, among the crowd at the bonfire, there was another figure silently watching her.

The next afternoon, the last group of wounded were also sent to a nearby hospital, and their first aid work was successfully completed.

On the way back, An Xun got out of the car early without leaving any reason behind.Su Wen wanted to follow, but Li Min stopped him and reminded him:

"Did you forget what day it is?"

Su Wen suddenly remembered, looked at the phone calendar, September 26th.

Today is An Xun's birthday.

Li Min was in charge of the work of the student union when she was in college. She happened to see An Xun's registration in the office, and only then did she know that her mother and younger sister both passed away on her 17th birthday.No wonder every year today, as long as there is time, An Xun will go somewhere quietly.

It is not difficult to guess that it should be to see the deceased family members.

When I stepped into the cemetery, it was sunny and sunny.The sky washed by the torrential rain was clear and clear, and the autumn wind rolled the red leaves and lingered in front of Zun Zun's tombstone, like a longing from a friend.

An Xun stayed somewhere, bent over and lightly placed two bunches of white gardenias.She noticed that on the side, there was also a bunch of fresh lilies.

She often sees lilies in front of her mother's grave, but she has never bumped into the person who gave them flowers.She didn't know, who else would come to visit besides herself, day after day, year after year, working tirelessly, rain or shine.

It seems that this woman has broken many hearts.She made a pianist who was supposed to have a bright future abandon his Steinway, let a star who was only eight years old and had no time to rise fall early, and made those eyes that were originally bright as spring glacier thousands of miles away.

Love always fills the eyes with happiness, and always fills the heart with grievances.

An Xun witnessed with her own eyes that a woman gave up her dream for love, and also foresaw that a down-and-out pianist would spend his whole life alone for love.If it weren't for the good fortune to trick people, they could have stayed together forever.

Jiang Yien's face appeared in her mind again, she was powerless to resist, and her body and mind softened, a soreness swept into her heart with the wind, making her bend slightly unconsciously, holding her chest in her mouth, enduring the torment.

In the sea of ​​life, she thought that she would be complete if she wasted the rest of her life in such a numb and cold way. She thought that it would be easy to let herself become dark under the erosion of darkness.However, that girl just broke in with sunshine, melting all her strength and creating cracks one after another.

Love has always tempted all sentient beings, but after all, she is also an ordinary person.

She remembered that the girl once said that she liked her.

The thumping at that moment is still repeatedly twisting the heartstrings.Although she didn't know exactly how she liked her, she was not stupid, she knew that she already occupied an important position in that girl's heart.

Actually, she would.Whether it's that girl's family member, a confidant, or a sister, even if she plays the role of mother, she is fearless.When that girl is tired, bored, and leaves, she will return to her silent ice cellar at the worst, and she will have nothing to lose.

Only lovers, she can't.

Several times, she almost stepped into the cracked abyss, she knew that there was no darkness underneath, and she knew that after falling out of her iceberg fortress, that girl would give her a clear spring and a warm sun.She knew that as long as she was willing, as long as she let herself go, the clouds would clear up.

However, she held back.

Because she believes too much, too much believes that after she really has that girl, she will feel happy.It is because I believe that I will be happy that I cannot accept it even more calmly.

She is afraid that the only one who is happy is herself, and she is afraid that the girl will make a compromise without saying a word.

She thinks that she has already been assimilated, the darkness is her, the solid ice is her, she will devour the girl's warm sun, freeze the girl's clear spring, and give the sleepless continent that the girl built with great difficulty. deadly disaster.

She shouldn't bet on that girl.

Besides, the hopes of the whole family have come to nothing, how could she have the right to talk about happiness.

Just like in the past, she was silent for a long time in front of the grave, and when it was getting late, she didn't leave a word.

She remembered that she had promised that girl that she would bring her a cup of iced milk tea.Even though the rain was sweeping again, and there were countless people queuing up to buy milk tea to keep warm in the shopping mall, she got out of the car and ran into the shopping mall in the rain.

"Hello, a cup of iced oolong milk tea, seven-fen sugar, and boba."

The girl at the front desk received the last customer with a smile on her face.It was rare for her to see the woman in front of her with half-wet hair and a clean face. She remembered that this was the third time this woman came to buy milk tea. The first two times, she had exquisite makeup.What remains unchanged is that I order a cup of iced oolong milk tea every time.

In the rainy autumn days, few people order ice.Last time, she asked the woman if she needed to change it to normal temperature, but the woman refused, saying that the children at home only drink iced ones, and the children would be upset if they brought back to normal temperature.

She also laughed at her doting and reminded her to be careful of children catching colds.The woman only replied softly: "I am a doctor, and I know it well."

In fact, women want to say that it is very difficult to be happy, if just a cup of iced milk tea can make her happy, why not.

"Is it for your girlfriend again?"

An Xun was startled, the wallet fell from his hand, he quickly squatted down to pick it up, and took advantage of the blind spot of the clerk to sort out his expression.After thinking about it, there was no need to explain anything. After getting up, he just smiled politely.

"It's really happy to be a child with an older sister. If I want to have a beautiful and gentle older sister like you as my girlfriend, I'm afraid I'll wake up from a dream with laughter!"

An Xun looked sideways and lowered her head, hiding her blushing face. Fortunately, the clerk also turned to make milk tea and never noticed her embarrassment.

The clerk misunderstood it because the eyes he saw that day were too hot.

From the first time he saw the woman walking with her little friend, the clerk was deeply impressed.He said he was a child, but he was actually a bright and lovely girl. Being with a woman was so pleasing to the eye.

That day the girl stood on tiptoe and lay in front of the stage holding the number in her mobile phone, her excitement and joy were beyond words, and the woman's eyes were burning on the girl, her brows were slightly frowned, but there was a trace of tenderness in her eyes, It seems that it has been hidden for many years, and finally it can't be hidden.

Later, when she saw their fingers intertwined and they looked at each other silently, only four big words came to her mind: Sure enough, they are not straight.

"Here, your kid's milk tea." The clerk beamed with joy, and handed over this heavy gift of love with both hands.

An Xun's heart was touched again, he took it with a smile, nodded and said softly: "Thank you."

On the way home, her footsteps became rare and light, and she carefully protected the milk tea in her arms, for fear of being wet by the rain. Thinking of seeing the little girl smiling brightly in a while, warmth rose in her heart.

It's just a pity that I didn't buy milk tea for my girlfriend, and that kid, after all, didn't belong to my own family.Thinking of this, I couldn't help but feel a little melancholy in my eyes.

As soon as she got out of the elevator, she heard a noise coming from the next door. She stopped and listened carefully. It seemed that it was Jiang Yien's voice.

"Let go of me, I'm going to find her!"

"Oh, Jiang Jiang, calm down, where are you going to find it so late, didn't Dr. Su say everything will be fine?!"

"You are so worried about her! Are you so worried about her?!"

The girl broke through the door, and stopped in her tracks the moment she saw An Xun.

Jiang Yien has been waiting since she heard that the medical team had returned. One afternoon, she prepared a table of meals and burned her hands in a panic.Hearing that everyone had returned, but they didn't wait for An Xun. He called Su Wen and found out that An Xun didn't follow the car back to the hospital at all.

In desperation, she rushed to the hospital, angrily questioning Su Wen why she was relieved to let her get out of the car, why didn't she bring An Xun back safely.Everyone was trying to persuade her to calm down, but she didn't listen, as if she was the one who made trouble for no reason.

But she didn't understand, the phone couldn't get through, and the whole person lost contact, how could they be so sure that An Xun would be fine.

She rushed home, expecting An Xun to come back, but she was in vain.The words that were accidentally revealed last night, desperately numb, rang in her mind repeatedly, and she completely collapsed.

She ran to the next door and begged Wen Jing and Ji Xiaoyu to help her, whether she called the police or went out to find her, she had to find a way, she had to do something, but she never expected that even Ji Xiaoyu would try to dissuade her.

Is it really me, lost my mind?

Right now, seeing An Xun appearing in front of her safe and sound, she feels like a lump in her throat, grievances and sorrows spread all over her body, and she can't say a word.

It seemed that it was really her who made a fuss over a molehill.

but……

I don't know if you will do stupid things.

I don't know if you will leave me.

"Xiao En?"

An Xun didn't know, her mobile phone was probably damaged due to water, and she didn't receive any messages or calls all afternoon, and she was a little lost for a while.She didn't know that every time she heard "the number you dialed is temporarily unavailable", the girl's fear and despair doubled.

She has not yet realized that perfect love will not make people feel wronged, what makes people feel wronged is love that cannot be obtained.

It's not the pianist's love that drives the dreamer to death, but the dream that he couldn't ask for.

"Where have you been."

An Xun's eyebrows trembled. For the first time, she heard a deep and hoarse voice from what should have been a soft voice.It was also the first time to be stared at with reproach and even hatred by those soft and lovely eyes.

"I... I bought milk tea for you."

An Xun didn't know how to explain, she didn't intend to worry that girl.The reason why she walked lightly on the way back was that she expected that girl to throw herself into her arms with eyes full of surprise, hold the milk tea softly and sweetly say how nice Sister An is.

However, she didn't expect that what was waiting was that girl who was furious and slapped away the surprise she had promised, as well as the red-eyed and trembling reprimand.

"Do you really think milk tea is more important than your safe return!!"

"An Xun...you are a fool! You don't understand anything! You don't understand anything!!!"

An Xun trembled in fright from the waving hand, and looked at the mess on the ground in shock.The milk tea was overturned by that girl again.She suddenly knew what she had done wrong, but she didn't know what to do.

The heart and brain are left in chaos and uneasy.

Jiang Yien suddenly woke up, and regretted what he had done in the next second. After being excited, he was still panting hard, and his eyes were full of panic.

Jiang Yien, what have you done?Can't see her wet hair?Can't see the rain on her shoulders?Can't you see the haggard look on her face?Can't see her looking forward, do you smile at her?

"I'm sorry, I... I'm just afraid that you will do something stupid..."

It's ridiculous, Dr. An has no reason to report everything to himself, and it's not even nine o'clock yet, yet he's in such a hurry.Jiang Yien laughed at himself in his heart.

What right do I have to criticize? She is already so tired, and she is so considerate to buy milk tea. To her, she is obviously nothing.

Not a sister, let alone a lover.

They may not even be friends.Not as good as Su Wen, not as good as Li Min, not even as good as Qin Shi.At best, he is just a Xiaobai who was lucky enough to save the leader and was taken special care of him.

What right do you have to shamelessly ask Su Wen to take good care of An Xun for you? What right do you have to scold Su Wen like crazy for not bringing her back because of An Xun.Who is close, who is distant, who will take care of whom, don't you know?

She underestimated herself and was extremely lost.

"Doctor An, Jiang Jiang is crazy, don't mind..."

"Yes, Doctor An, you are tired, go home and rest quickly, just leave it to us."

Ji Xiaoyu and Wen Jing hurried forward to clean up the remnants on the ground, and by the way wanted to pull away the distraught Jiang Yien.

An Xun looked at the girl, who was taken away without any struggle, without acting coquettishly, without making trouble for no reason, did she not want to stay anymore, was she also tired of restlessness and waiting.

Did she give up?

Did you finally give up on being close to me?

"and many more!"

An Xun took a few steps forward and grabbed Jiang Yien's hand.

The little girl's heart was once again picked up from the trough. Could it be that she still has hope?While she was overjoyed, she didn't dare, she remained silent, fearing that she would be sentimental again.In An Xun's eyes, she saw persistence and stubbornness, as well as compromise and surrender.

She was delusional, the one who was insisted on was herself, and the one who surrendered was that person's bravado.

An Xun closed her eyes and sighed deeply, she finally couldn't hold back and pleaded: "Don't take her away."

She knew that her little girl was afraid, she knew that her little girl was worried, she clearly saw the scratches all over her arm, she clearly saw the red and swollen burns on the back of her hand.

How could she, let her go.

Enough is enough, this girl has done enough, so even if she really couldn't bear it and wanted to give up one day, she would admit it.But, why the hand still grabbed her unconsciously, why couldn't help but keep her.

She surrendered.

If one day it was Jiang Yien who left, she would not be able to remain indifferent.

Her heart was broken, and she finally couldn't hold it anymore, and wept in embarrassment in front of everyone.He hugged her little girl into his arms, and placed the heart that she had poured cold water several times on his chest tightly and firmly, warming it and comforting it.

"Silly girl, why am I willing to leave you..."

Even before a choked voice came out, the little girl was already fascinated by it, won't she leave it?Are you reluctant?Does she care about me too?Grievance, unwillingness, and thousands of emotions that were too complicated to express, collapsed in an instant.

Finally, I couldn't help but burst into tears.

"I thought you didn't want me anymore..."

"I even scolded Dr. Su, they all thought I was crazy..."

"Why did you come back so late, I was so scared that I was about to die..."

An Xun hugged her, listening to her cry, his whole body went limp, and his heart was already in pain.This is the second time the little girl has cried like this in her arms.

The first time 15 years ago already made her heart ache.Today, it broke her heart even more.

Her heart was as heavy as a boulder, and the unstoppable pain spread all over her body. Her breath and words were fragmented in the more and more forceful embrace. She couldn't tell who was trembling.

"I have never seen you so scared, and I have never seen you so angry. I know you are worried about me, and I know I make you uneasy."

She was full of heartache, lightly rubbed the little girl's head, stroked her thin back, whispered comfort in her ear.

"I understand your heart."

作者有话要说：感谢在2021-06-3007:21:11~2021-07-0102:04:19期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel of the irrigation nutrient solution: 2 bottles of Fusheng_Luomo; 1 bottle of Qing;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!