come close to me hold me

An found the ward and saw that Jiang Yien was still awake, so she packed the clothes that Ji Xiaoyu and the others had sent.

She rummaged and found a plush toy, presumably it was the little bear that the girl said could only fall asleep if she hugged it, but she just took a look at it and then stopped, feeling startled.

"this is not……"

After many years, she has very little impression of this little bear. If she hadn't sewed it herself, she probably wouldn't have recognized it long ago.

I remember that she was still a high school student and a frequent customer of Qinghuan Bookstore.One day, the owner of the bookstore told her that there was a little customer who had just lost his parents and couldn't keep up his spirits. He would often hide in the store and cry after school.The boss hopes that there will be a chance to invite An Xun to play a violin and give it to the poor little guest as a consolation.

After hearing this, An Xun felt that the violin alone was not enough, he should have a company, so he discussed with the boss and gave the little girl a hand-stitched bear.So, she tried to sew dolls for the first time, and she was still not proficient in stitches. She had to dismantle and mend them in a month, and she often hurt her fingers.

She glanced at Jiang Yien, a little surprised.I can't help but think back to the little girl in the corner of the bookstore back then. She was so scarred and full of fear and helplessness in her eyes that she was a little hesitant when she approached with the bear. Who would have thought that the little girl would just lie in her arms after a few words? Cry loudly.

Looking at Jiang Yien now, An Xun suddenly felt relieved, it seems that the child has really grown up well.

And Jiang Yien still doesn't know that her sister, the violin, and this little bear who is full of heart are all gifts specially for her, all by chance.

She didn't know that less than a year later, that sister's life had undergone tremendous changes.So much so that the ice and snow buried Mingmei, and they looked like two different people, and it was hard to recognize each other when they met.

Now the little bear is much more shriveled than before, looking old, and the hair on its chest is all shriveled.An Xun looked down, his eyes couldn't help being soft, thinking that the child probably rubbed his nose and tears on it since he was a child.

But the little bear is still very clean, the color of its fur has faded slightly after being washed, and he hugs it into his arms and nods his head to smell it carefully. There is also the scent of body lotion and shower gel, which is the same as that on the little girl. You can even vaguely feel the remnants of the little bear. body temperature.

"It's so ugly, you're still hurting like a baby..."

Before he knew it, it was getting dark, and An searched for needles, thread and cotton, dismantled and mended it under the dim light, and finally repaired the little bear into a chubby appearance, and placed it beside the child.

"You silly girl..."

Standing in front of the bed, touching the little girl's head, the tears she could not hold back fell one after another, leaning over the bed, hugging the petite body that had repeatedly warded off danger for her, Finally broke down in tears.

"You just want to make me feel bad, don't you? You have to prove that you will stop me even with a knife, don't you?"

"A person like me is not worth your hard work..."

An Xun's sleep has always been bad. I don't know if it's because he's tired or something. Before he could say a few words, he fell asleep.Thinking about it, it was the same last night. Holding the little girl in her arms, even though she was not used to sleeping well all night, in fact, the warm embrace brought her unprecedented peace of mind.

At night, Jiang Yien woke up in a daze, and just wanted to move her body, but felt that a hand was gently placed on her shoulders, restricting her freedom. She opened her eyes in a daze, and through the moonlight and street lights outside the window, she saw the man clearly The sleeping face with her head down beside the bed is her Dr. An, that's right!

Her doctor, An, was worried that she would touch the wound because of her restless movement when she was asleep.

Seeing Dr. An approaching very close, she closed her eyes lightly, her eyebrows still frowning, as she always did, her cold eyes were always inlaid with poignant beauty.

Since childhood, Jiang Yien felt that everyone is like a season. From the first time she saw An Xun in the concert hall, she felt like a fallen leaf that was swept away by the autumn wind, a fallen flower that was carried away by the flowing water, cold and cold , alone, unable to find direction.

She looks like autumn.

Suddenly, Jiang Yien realized that there was a fluffy thing next to her behind her, and looked back, it was indeed her sweetness, but: "Why are you so fat..."

The hand on the shoulder trembled, An Xun frowned, and raised his head slightly: "Are you awake?"

"Sister An... sweet her..." Jiang Yien pointed at Little Bear, his eyes full of doubts.

An Xun was not too sober yet, and looked at the little bear behind her dimly, leaving only a chubby back, which seemed to be overstuffed, and couldn't help smiling: "I'm sorry, I made it for her without waiting for your signature. Operation."

Jiang Yien's expression changed, and he quickly picked up Tiantian and looked at it. Looking back, An Xun was sombre and serious that he had never seen before: "This little bear is very important to me. She is a gift from my sister. It's a little bear that my sister sewed with her own hands. After you take it apart, the traces of my sister will disappear."

"I..." An Xun was at a loss for a moment.

"From now on, you will be responsible to us." Jiang Yien changed his depression in an instant, his dimples were revealed, and his eyes were full of smiles again.

"what?"

"Tiantian and I have been mended by you. You will be responsible for us in the future."

Ever since she was a child, Tiantian has been her darling, even her status is second only to grandma.Relatives and friends can't touch it even if they want to touch it. If grandma wants to wash her when it is dirty, she will stare at it the whole time. If it is deformed or rubbed heavily, she will feel distressed.A few years ago, it wasn't that grandma didn't want to change the little bear for cotton, it's just that Jiang Yien still refused.

She was afraid that if she changed it, she would no longer smell like her sister.

Therefore, what An Xun did on her own initiative was simply playing on her minefield.Surprisingly, she wasn't displeased at all, she herself was surprised, even the bursting joy in her heart.

From today onwards, it seems that everything about me has traces of Dr. An.

"I'm sorry, I just saw that you like it so much, so I wanted to fix it for her, so that she can accompany you longer." An Xun was apologetic, but still at a loss.

"It's okay, you said it, curing the disease and saving lives is the most important thing. I'm unconscious and can't sign it. It's more important for you to cure the disease and save the bear. We sweetly also say, thank you, Dr. An." Jiang Yien held the little bear in front of An Xun, and pressed Head bowed.

An Xun chuckled, he was taken aback by the little girl's serious face just now, he breathed a sigh of relief, touched Tiantian's little head, shook his head and said: "Your name is Tiantian? No polite."

Jiang Yien saw that there was a hint of brilliance in the smiling eyes, and suddenly, spring and autumn overlapped again in his mind.She froze for a moment, and another cry of "sister" couldn't help but escape from between her lips and teeth.

"Huh?" An Xun agreed.

"No... nothing..."

An Xun hesitated for a moment, thinking of the girl's expression that suddenly sank just now, and the look of lovingly hugging the little bear, and asked, "Yien, is that sister you mentioned important to you?"

"Well! It's very important! Since I was a child, I would tell Tiantian what was on my mind. When I miss my mother, I would hug Tiantian and cry." Speaking of this, Jiang Yin paused, and looked at An Xun: "An Doctor, you won't laugh at me, will you?"

An Xun felt sore, and shook his head: "Then you, do you want to find that sister?"

Jiang Yien was silent: "I don't want to."

"Why?" An Xun was unexpected.

"Because it will be eternal in my heart!"

Jiang Yien smiled, and then explained: "It's been more than ten years, my sister may have become a wife and mother, she will be the most important person in many people's lives, maybe, I don't remember me for a long time. But, As long as I don't find her, she will only belong to me."

After so many years, if she really wanted to find her, she would have already found it through the bookstore owner.Just because she was greedy for eternity, she didn't dare, didn't dare to turn the dream into reality, fearing that the beauty would be just a flash in the pan, fleeting.Therefore, she equated Tiantian with her sister, and used this opportunistic way to pursue eternity in plush toys.

However, this kind of daring, just like someone saying "dreams are not meant to be realized", is inherently regrettable and helpless.But dreams are usually so far away and so cold, or Jiang Yien will say that she is the moon, because she knows it and can't touch it.

If you can really touch the moon, who would say no.

For these, An Xun felt a little powerless, even though she knew that she was the girl's dream, even if she knew that the girl would be ecstatic if she told her the truth, but she couldn't do anything.

In the past, she would probably have hugged that girl, told her that she could only belong to her, told her that she would not have to tell Xiao Xiong what was on her mind, and told her that as long as she needed, she would always be with her.

But now, she can't.

Just like she sealed the violin in the past, her warm and bright self was also buried in the past.She didn't have the strength to care about one person and put one person in her heart.

Why doesn't she understand that girl, just a few words of comfort are enough to make her work hard for it, this is probably the fate of a child who is not loved, if she feels a little warmth, she will give her all to repay it.If that girl knew that she was that person, what would she do?She dare not think.

Her life is already a pile of debris, and those who want to pick it up cannot escape the result of being stabbed.Isn't Su Wen the best example?Even if he never left, didn't he blurt out a sentence at a certain moment of disappointment: "I really regarded you as a friend for eight lifetimes"?

How could she bear to let that girl get hurt again.

So, Yien, you are right, don't look for me, don't have expectations of me, because I am destined to disappoint you.She sighed inwardly.

Forgive me, there are too many helpless.

"Hey, let's sleep a little longer." An Xun regained his senses, there were thousands of thoughts in his heart, and this was the only thing he could say.

Jiang Yien looked around and asked, "Doctor An, where do you sleep at night?"

"I'll stay with you here for a while, you go to sleep first."

After listening to the answer, his eyes rolled around: "Doctor An, since you performed the operation on me, then I am your patient now?"

"That's right," An Xun pampered the little girl's pink nose, "My little patient."

"That! Dr. An will do his best to meet the patient's request!"

"You said."

Jiang Yien knew that An Xun didn't like to be close, so he had already offered to say that it would not be easy to stay with him. It stands to reason that he shouldn't push forward now, what if he scares Dr. An away?

But looking around, there is really no place suitable for An Xun to lie down, she can't really let her sit and watch all night.Besides, she was always paying attention to the joy and anger of the person in front of her, and when she saw the ripples between the brows of that person spread out, it was clearly a slight smile, so she shouldn't be angry, right?

"Doctor An and I squeeze together! Tiantian said she can go to the sofa!" The little girl pointed to the innocent little bear beside her.

"No."

An Xun refused decisively.

Although Jiang Yien expected to refuse, he was still a little disappointed: "Then, after I wake up, can I still see you?"

"what?"

"I...that..."

Seeing that the little girl hesitated to speak, An Xun was puzzled for a while, held her hand as a sign of comfort, and leaned closer to her ear, the little girl whispered something in her ear:

"I would be afraid."

"Afraid?" An Xun straightened up, with doubts on his brows.

"Well... because they always left while I was asleep. When I was a child, I was crying and fussy. They thought I was annoying and noisy, so when I was on business trips or going to work, they left quietly while I was asleep."

An Xun just listened, with a light frown between his brows, and did not speak.

"That day too, it rained heavily at night. Grandma said that Mom and Dad had something to go on a business trip for a few days. I refused. After a long fight, they promised me not to leave, but they still left quietly while I was asleep... "

As he said that, a tear fell from the corner of Jiang Yien's eye, as if it was dripping into An Xun's heart, causing ripples.After all, she is also a sensitive person. After all, she has also experienced similar pain. She doesn't want to be hypocritical, but she can't help empathizing.

"Okay, I won't go."

Jiang Yien felt relieved, she knew that An Xun would not lie to her, but because of the unavoidable feeling of weakness after the operation, coupled with the dull pain in the wound, the fear and helplessness only increased, so she still held An Xun's hand tightly and did not let go. open.

"You and her really seem to be..."

"what?"

"The moon, my moon... what should I do, I really, really like Dr. An so much... It seems that I like the moon more... Sister An, I like you..."

The voice gradually fell, and Jiang Yien fell into a drowsy sleep again.

"Silly girl, you're talking in your sleep again."

There was a little tenderness in An Xun's eyes, he frowned, raised the corners of his mouth slightly, and sighed softly, only then realized that his breath seemed to be trembling slightly, after hesitating for a long time, the fingertips finally landed on the corner of Jiang Yien's eyes , Erase the tear stains, and melt the unspeakable distress into this touch of tenderness.

"You are an amazing child, you can be so clear and enthusiastic. Sometimes, I really envy you..."

"I know why Professor Chen wants to send you to me... But, I can't, I really can't..."

"I clearly, clearly know that you will hurt, and I can clearly see that you are looking forward to it, but I'm sorry, I can't do anything..."

She knew that it was her own fault to get to where she is today.

"Don't like me, understand?"