Eat little by little

Different from the past, Lin Xu quickly packed up his things and was about to leave after the evening self-study get out of class. Yang Fengrui grabbed Lin Xu's hand, "Don't worry, I will meet you later."

One evening self-study, both of them were cold, and Yang Fengrui panicked.

"I have something to do today, I want to go back to take a shower first." Lin Xu let go of Yang Fengrui's hand, and when he looked up, he saw the girl walking by the door, "Besides, you have to hurry up now, what about sending the girl back to the dormitory during the sweet period?" You can't miss it either."

"I...Xiao Xu, I still feel very strange..."

"Don't think too much." Lin Xu lowered his eyelids.

Yang Fengrui still wanted to say something, but Lin Xu had already packed his things, "You can talk to me when you get back."

Yang Fengrui wanted to grab Lin Xu's hand, but this time Lin Xu avoided it.Yang Fengrui realized for the first time that Lin Xu would also escape.

Lin Xu, who would always be by his side and never disappear, avoided him.

Yang Fengrui suddenly felt unprecedented panic. He watched Lin Xu walk out from the front door, and his back blended into the students rushing to the dormitory, like sand melting into the vastness, and he couldn't find anything in an instant.

Naturally, after returning to the dormitory at night, Yang Fengrui didn't find a chance to speak.

When Yang Fengrui lifted the mosquito net on Lin Xu's bed, Lin Xu was leaning against the inner side of the bed with his back facing him, with a completely evasive attitude.

Yang Fengrui felt as if his heart had been pricked by a needle.

"Xiaoxu?" He relaxed his movements and stuck to Xiaoxu's side.

After waiting for a while, there was no answer.Yang Fengrui looked at the mosquito net above his dark eyes and gradually lost his mind.

Yeah, what is he hoping for?What is he doing now?

As the night deepened, and in the early morning, the snoring in the dormitory also became louder.

But both Lin Xu and Yang Fengrui knew that the other party was not asleep, as if there was an invisible tight thread pulling them.

Yang Fengrui turned around lightly, "Hey Xiaoxu, it's all my fault..." He really fell ill, and having feelings for a man is an illness.He shamelessly dragged the other side along... Even he couldn't stand it anymore.

"No." Lin Xu turned around suddenly, only to find that he and Yang Fengrui were almost completely attached to each other's body, breathing on the boy's face, both of them froze for a moment, and at the same time pretended to ignore this matter seconds pause.

"Yang Fengrui, I checked, and your feeling is normal. The curiosity about sex in adolescence is too strong, too sensitive and easy to fluctuate, and it is easy to have illusions even about the same sex. This is normal, and it will be fine after a while ..." Lin Xu's voice gradually weakened, as if he was confirming something, he repeated, "This is normal."

Yang Fengrui was stunned, and suddenly wanted to see Lin Xu's expression clearly, and wanted to reach out to touch his cheek, but he had to hold back.

"So the ones we tried before..." are normal?His heartbeat, his panic, and his little excitement are all... Is he pretending to be passionate?

Yang Fengrui subconsciously wanted to grab Lin Xu's hand in the quilt, and at this moment he was desperately trying to ascertain something.

Lin Xu obediently let the other party grasp him, and his palms met. The familiar touch seemed to calm the uneasiness and panic of both parties, "Yang Fengrui, there is no difference, isn't it?" Lin Xu took Yang Fengrui's hand and put it in front of the two of them, Holding the palm of the hand, even the big and small postures are so fit and natural, "It doesn't mean anything." At the end of the speech, Lin Xu's voice trembled.

"Yang Fengrui, we don't know what the next step will be, just let go." We don't even know if we like it, let alone how long this feeling will last, let alone even if we really like it, Even if they share and cooperate with women, what is wrong with them is nothing.

Yang Fengrui choked, the pain at this moment exceeded expectations, like being stabbed at the apex of his heart, he didn't feel it at first, but gradually, the pain penetrated deep into the blood vessels, and he began to feel pain even with a single breath.

Let go, Yang Fengrui.

Yang Fengrui felt as if he had fallen into a samsara, a designed quagmire. He kept struggling, but he couldn't change the fact that he was sinking a little bit.

What is it like?

These days Yang Fengrui began to struggle with this issue like masochistic.He had never wanted a definition of the word so much a day.

Sometimes when holding a girl's hand, he will feel empty, the feeling of sticking between the fingers is not right, the temperature of the palms will deviate when they touch each other, and even because of the softness and petiteness, he will be afraid that if he pushes hard, the other party will hurt... like this The hand could not give him strength, nor could it give him stability.

Like, have a good impression of a person, feel that the other person is very suitable for your beat; or, being with the other person is very comfortable, chatting is very pleasant, and every movement of the other person will feel cute; I still want to understand the other person, want to know every aspect of the other person One part, I hope that the other party can understand myself so urgently; no matter how much trouble and suffering I face, I feel that there is no problem with the other party, and I have the strength and courage to persevere...

Nothing told him that he couldn't like Xiaoxu.

He knew that what Xiao Xu said was right, that it was wrong to escape, and it was best to return to the original state of the two of them, so that this unreasonable emotional fluctuation would fade away with time.

But all the big truths are easy to say.

Yang Fengrui was so uncomfortable that he couldn't breathe, the tip of his nose was filled with Lin Xu's breath, and his body was pressed against Lin Xu's heat. He remembered how Lin Xu smiled, how he looked angry, how he wrinkled his nose, how he looked worried...

After talking about it, he couldn't accept it.He even felt his reluctance, his attachment, and his possessiveness even more violently.

That night, both of them lost sleep.

For nearly two weeks, the two didn't speak much, and even spent very little time together.

It was Lin Xu who first discovered that Yang Fengrui was in poor condition.

It is so easy to perceive the changes in the other party: distracted in class, poor grades, usually speaking illogically, avoiding the sight of him when seeing him, forgetting to take physical education class, not knowing that he is on duty that day One day, even holding hands with girls was caught twice by the dean...

When I was a teenager, every emotional change was so obvious. I was happy and sad because of a comment from others. What should I use to brand my mark, so as to be worthy of that innocent and unscrupulous age.

The arrival of December means that the final exam is not far away.After the results of the third monthly exam, Yang Fengrui's ranking fell to the bottom of the class, and the teacher got angry on the spot.Puppy love, distraction in class, poor quality of homework... A series of behaviors directly attracted the bombardment of the teacher and became a negative teaching material for the class.

The first self-study session on Monday night was the class meeting. The teacher was only halfway through the lecture when Yang Fengrui got up suddenly and left the classroom from behind with a blank expression.The teacher's roar even startled the next class, and the whole class was dead silent.

"Yang Fengrui, stop!"

"Yang Fengrui, I tell you to stop!"

"It's so noisy!" Yang Fengrui yelled suddenly, and squinted at the teacher, "It's none of your business how my grades are! Do you bother me if you're chattering?"

The boy pursed his lips, his disdainful eyes glanced at the teacher coldly, and he exuded an aura of don't mess with me.

At this moment, only some of the classmates vaguely remembered the bad deeds of this guy in junior high school.

Everyone watched Yang Fengrui leave through the back door, leaving the room full of silence.

"You son of a bitch! I can't teach this fucking class anymore!" The teacher was about to slam the book.

"Teacher, I'll go find him!" Lin Xu stood up subconsciously, and ran out without looking at the teacher's reaction.

It was only at this time that Lin Xu realized how willful Yang Fengrui could go.

Damn, if only I had been sitting next to him at that time, I would have known that I would not be able to adjust my position for evening self-study, and I didn't even have time to stop it...Asshole!

With the cold wind blowing outside, Lin Xu realized that it was much colder than usual tonight. This was the real breath of winter.

It was quiet all around, and the other classes were still studying at night. He didn't dare to call Yang Fengrui's name loudly, so he could only walk around the teaching building alone, trying in vain to find that figure, and whispered: "Yang Fengrui?"

I don't know where he can go at this time?to the playground?Back to the dormitory?Or simply find a way to get out of the school over the wall?

God, this is a big demerit.

The surrounding light was dim, Lin Xu had just sprinted for a while, but now he couldn't catch his breath, and after being frightened by his own thoughts, he couldn't help running towards the school gate.

When I got to the guard's room, I didn't dare to ask.Wearing a thin school uniform jacket, he hesitated in front of the gate, looked out the door, looked for a while, and then ran around the school wall.It made the guard keep looking at Lin Xu.

"Where did you go?" Lin Xu leaned against the school wall uncomfortably, panting, his eyes fell on the brightly lit teaching buildings not far away, and he suddenly felt extremely helpless.

If Yang Fengrui doesn't want him to find it, what can he do?

After walking around the school wall, I went to look for it under the teaching building, and sneaked to the edge of the classroom to take a look, but Yang Fengrui didn't go back...

Lin Xu felt that his face was aching from the cold wind, and even his eyes were sore. After blinking a few more times, he could feel moist water vapor oozing out.He rubbed his eyes, turned and left again.

I went to the playground, and turned to the Art Palace nervously, but met a few couples of boys and girls from other classes.

Lin Xu wanted to laugh at himself, not knowing what else he was looking for in vain.

The get out of class bell rang in the distance, and not long after, the class bell rang too.

Standing in the cold wind, Lin Xu felt that he was frozen.To make matters worse, he really didn't know where else he could find Yang Fengrui.

"Bastard..." I used to think it was very strange, he could always find that guy easily, even when the cold war was far away, as long as he looked back, he could always find that guy.

It turned out that one day, Yang Fengrui could also leave his sight so happily.

Idiot... Stupid... Crazy... Mischievous... Self-willed... Brainless...

What the hell is that fucking bastard doing?Does he know what's going on now?

Lin Xu turned to the bottom of the teaching building again, to the back after teaching, where they used to eat together every afternoon.Covered by trees, it is even more hidden than during the day.

And here he has been looking for three times.

Lin Xu squatted down slowly, leaning against the wall, trembling slightly when his body touched the cold floor.

The second quarter's evening self-study is about to end, or maybe the third quarter has already started.

Lin Xu shrank back, couldn't help but rubbed his dry eyes and licked his dry lips again, feeling thirsty, tired and cold.

Suddenly felt that I was particularly wronged and uncomfortable, "Ah Rui..."

I feel so cold.

Even at this time, he was still worried about the other party.He was so wronged and uncomfortable, so he hoped that the other party could be by his side at this moment.

"Fool." A choked sob was suppressed in his throat.

There was a rustling sound, and Lin Xu felt a heavy coat covering him, and the smell belonging to Yang Fengrui instantly wrapped him up.

Another figure knelt down beside him and whispered, "Why don't you go back?"

"I can't find you anyway, so I'll be scolded if I run away." Lin Xu wrapped his coat tightly, warmed his frozen body, and felt that the tip of his nose had become numb from the cold.He half-buried his face in the coat and rubbed it lightly.

After a long silence, Lin Xu heard a faint voice beside him, "I have always hated you the most." Hypocrisy, good-natured, contrived, pretending... But... Yang Fengrui's body trembled, and he lowered his head, "How can I do not like you?

After Yang Fengrui took off his coat, he was left with a long-sleeved school uniform, which was pitifully thin, and he was frozen stiff at the moment.

Lin Xu pulled his lips, not knowing whether it was a smile or bitterness, he just moved to the side of the person next to him, leaning against Yang Fengrui.

The sky is dotted with a few lonely stars.

"Xiao Xu..." There was a slight shout from the side, Lin Xu turned his head, and met the breathing of the other party's nose, his eyes met.

Yang Fengrui tremblingly caressed Lin Xu's cheek, pressed against the boy's forehead, and asked in a low voice, "How about a kiss?"

The warm breath blended together, and time seemed to stand still at this moment, as if there were only the two of them left in the whole world.

Yang Fengrui leaned forward gently, and slowly pressed his cold and soft lips.

Lin Xu's eyelashes fluttered, and after a while, he slowly closed his eyes.

Yang Fengrui began to understand this feeling:

If this is a dream, please never wake up;

If this is true, ask God, let this moment last a little longer.

The moon and stars were sparse, under the bright night sky, behind the teaching building, in a small corner that no one noticed, two teenagers got together and kissed tenderly.