I am a writer in the world of sorcery

Wadaxi couldn't understand some Japanese words, Xia Youjie thought.

A rare rest day, no work and no spells, it seemed like a good day to sleep until noon, but in the morning... at [-] o'clock in the morning, someone knocked on the door of his house, and he rubbed his head Lumpy, rubbish pulled the pink bunny's slippers to open the door, just opened a crack, a bandaged paw swished in through the crack of the door, looking like a female ghost killing her.

Xia Youjie wanted to close the door.

"Do you dare to close the door and try." Osamu Dazai smiled kindly, showing a hint of threat, "Master Xia You, lend me some money."

Xia Youjie thought to himself, what are you talking about?

Your wife is the richest, do you know that he costs 20 yuan for a shirt?To take a step back, your wife’s family has a big business, so a Wutiao family of capitalism, why do you make things difficult for me, a poor teacher who has raised two children, Xia Youjie said it with sincerity and sincerity, and Dazai Zhi knew it well. The kitchen fished out a bottle of rice wine, and then sat comfortably on the tatami, unscrewed the bottle, poured a glass of wine and drank it all, and slid into the kotatsu like a mackerel.

I was kicked out.

I'm out of money.

So keep me.

Xia Youjie: Pupil earthquake.

Osamu Dazai put the wine bottle on the table heavily, and turned over in a mackerel style. Xia Youjie felt that he was being scratched by a cat made of curiosity, but reason told him that it was better not to be curious, and he was polite. After waiting for a long time, Osamu Dazai suddenly became dumb. He swiped with his phone in his arms. His two long legs held the quilt, his head turned to one side, and the screen of the phone was very close to his eyes. After a while, Mimiko and Nanako Hand in hand, they open the bedroom door and prepare to go out to buy buns.

Osamu Dazai broke free from the shackles of the winter kotatsu, and smiled very nicely, very charmingly: "Are you Mimiko and Nanako?"

Mimiko and Nanako: "!"

Xia Youjie poked out his head from the kitchen, and raised the spatula: "Are you two going on a date? No way, isn't that celebrity in your junior high school not as good-looking as this guy? My requirements are not high, at least Find someone who looks better than him to go on a date, Gojo Satoru's looks are not impossible."

For the first time, Mimiko felt that what Xia Youjie said was not unreasonable, so she calmly sat down opposite Dazai Osamu, and Nanako ran to the kitchen in a hurry: "Xia You..."

Xia Youjie stuffed the steaming fresh milk muffins and vegetable sandwiches into the hands of the little girl, don't think about it, he said very Buddhistly, this is Wujo Wu's wife.

Nanako: "Cut."

Mimiko gritted her teeth: "Damn it."

So what's going on?

Osamu Dazai finished eating his cream pancakes, and hid back in the kotatsu mournfully. He looked like a man with a story, at least in Mimiko's eyes. People's joys and sorrows are not connected. Seeing Osamu Dazai like this, You Jie felt creepy. He had always kept this person completely away from contact with Mimiko and Nanako, and he failed after half a year. At this moment, Osamu Dazai raised his eyelids and looked at him with a half-smile: "Summer oil leader."

Xia Youjie: "Daba."

Xia Youjie: "Why is the leader not the leader? The Buddha said that all living beings are equal, and now I want to get rid of ordinary monkeys."

Mimiko and Nanako pulled his hair one by one: "What leader? Xia You, are you going to listen to a cult lecture again just because of a box of sterile eggs?"

Xia Youjie was in distress, wiped the table with a rag, and skillfully took out the panacea formula to deal with it: "Kids don't care about adults' business." Osamu Dazai laughed tremblingly on the other side, reaching for the glass After eating two of the winter dates in the bowl, he wrinkled his nose: "What kind of fruit did you buy? It's not too sweet."

Xia Youjie sighed: "Since when did you like eating sweets?"

It's all Gojo Satoru's fault, he's gone too far.

Mimiko and Nanako sat on the other two sides of the kotatsu, nodding their heads in righteous indignation, yes, he was too much, how could he treat you like this, Xia Youjie sat on the other side, the four of them warmed up around the kotatsu, Osamu Dazai gnawed Taking a small bite of the apple, she lowered her head slightly and lowered her eyes, revealing a fair and beautiful nape of the neck. Mimiko and Nanako stared straight at the eyes and became more and more angry.

Osamu Dazai doesn't like wearing his semi-permanent black suit more and more recently, but he said he is allergic to Uniqlo, so he ordered a few sets of kimonos, and now this man is wearing dark blue sleeves, and he looks very good-looking, Xia You Jie looked at it and the alarm went off. Unlike Gojo Satoru, Osamu Dazai was very popular with women. He was worried that Mimiko and Nanako would be deceived by this man's face.

"I think he's bored." Osamu Dazai whispered, "Is it because I have no income?"

Mimiko and Nanako choked suddenly, but when they saw Dazai Osamu's face, why couldn't such a beautiful person be kept?They were happy to keep them at home. Nanako was heartbroken and asked cautiously, "So what did Gojo Satoru do?"

"It's not that I have no income at all, it's just that the publishing house hasn't sent me the manuscript fee. There's nothing I can do about it. It's like this when writing a book. If you can't write it, you can't write it-but I also take good care of my family. I re-waxed the wooden floor, and I bought a bouquet of flowers two days ago to make a landscape."

Single Xia Youjie who really needs to do laundry, cooking and cleaning: His fist is hard.

Osamu Dazai counted on his fingers: "Pikachu-shaped small cakes and shochu, cherries, tofu soup pot, canned crab meat, wait for me to prepare a table of dishes, and then I have not seen anyone until the table of dishes is cooled. , I ate canned crab meat and went to bed alone at night, and the roof leaked."

Xia Youjie suddenly remembered the wooden roof that Gojo Satoru said a few days ago that Osamu Dazai had hanged himself and the Health Law had damaged it.

Xia Youjie raised his hand and asked, "Why are they all instant food?"

"Because I don't know how to cook." Osamu Dazai blinked his eyes twice: "I didn't see anyone until the landscape turned into dry landscape, and he finally came back, and he only knew to quarrel with me, quarrel. After finishing it, I threw the manuscripts of a giant work I wrote into the hand stove and burned it. I am still very confident that this book can surpass the predecessors. It is all my experience and painstaking efforts. I wrote those manuscripts for seven hours. ... seven days."

Xia Youjie recalled Wutiao Wu's opening of a book called "***" two days ago.

"Finally, there was another quarrel. When the quarrel reached halfway, Mr. Wutiao suddenly slapped his palm and said, Osamu Dazai, you can still rely on me to support you. I heard that the little boy she raised didn't have such an attitude—" Osamu Dazai After a pause, he rested his chin on his knees aggrievedly: "Who has anyone said such a thing to me before?"

"So you left him," Mimiko continued.

"No." Osamu Dazai covered his face, and his voice was full of pain: "He got a call after the quarrel and went out, and I re-wrote the manuscript. Three days later, Mr. Wujo came back and burned my manuscript, saying that you would give it to me. Get out."

Mimiko and Nanako dropped the jujube in their hands: "Can you bear this?"

Xia Youjie closed his eyes peacefully: "Respect, best wishes."

Osamu Dazai occasionally reflects on how he got to this point.

Anyway, he is also the former leader of the port mafia, a serious mafia that can scare all criminal organizations in Yokohama into quails, why is he being hammered by people all day long, quitting smoking and drinking, after a while Life is unhealthy, and I have to exercise more for a while, saying that it is for good health, forget it before, but when it comes to physical health, Osamu Dazai is very dissatisfied.

Who else is healthier than him?

He was healthy enough to get up from the river and continue to work after shaking the water, but now he is being used as a glass doll by a careless cat, but whose glass doll is forced to go to the vegetable market to buy vegetables and cook Shopping for dessert?He was a person who never ate sweets until the dinner table was full of desserts. During this period, Gojo Satoru was definitely the culprit, until one day he was awakened by a sharp pain in the middle of the night, and he broke free from the octopus cat on his body to take a look.

Wisdom tooth decayed.

This was outrageous, he stared in the mirror in disbelief for a long time, and was so angry that he made a pile of hard tofu the next day. The hardness of that thing could definitely be used as a hammer, and it was filled with ominous atmosphere when placed on the dinner table.

Gojo Satoru, who was eating popcorn while playing with his phone, looked at it and reached out to take a piece.

quack!

Osamu Dazai looked up expectantly.

Gojo Gojo blinked his bright and beautiful fairy-like eyes twice, it was delicious, let’s make some more, so he took the plate away together, and gnawed hard tofu while playing games, crunching, listening It's like a giant panda eating bamboo.

Osamu Dazai thought that this day was finally over, and licked his wisdom tooth in front of the mirror—that tooth had just erupted not long ago, and the position was very tricky. Got cavities.

10

So he became more and more upset when he saw Wujo Satoru, who was all in good shape.

11

It is known that Osamu Dazai never tells a lie, at most he does some artistic processing.

12

Osamu Dazai thinks that he is a very patient person. His life can be described magnificently, and it can make people shout outrageously when it is made into a movie. In the end, it can be regarded as saving the world, but being a teacher is too difficult for him. He is not very good at Chinese either, and when he flips through those books, he easily thinks of Mori Ogai, Daba, Tabada, Osamu Dazai thought, but he didn't know what to do, he was too boring, so he just picked up Start writing something.

Write what?

Cat Diary?

He stared at the cat raising diary on the paper and Yinkichi Kosuga for a long time, thinking that if he wrote some more messy things, the publishing house would eat him, and the agreed final payment and manuscript remuneration were delayed, and then Cross out the cat raising diary and rewrite three words.

He is a dog.

13

Gojo Satoru passed behind him, grabbed the pen, crossed out a word, and added another word.

I'm a dog.

14

This book can't fucking be written anymore!

15

Osamu Dazai searched the whole house but didn't find a bottle of wine, and he didn't bother to go out to buy it. Gojo Satoru was so relieved because he knew this. After all, Osamu Dazai never knew that there was such a thing in this world Order takeout.

But the days when there is no alcohol, no cigarettes, and no suicide, is this what people live?

Unbelievably, Osamu Dazai turned on his mobile phone and began to watch small videos, one by one, and hung up on Miwa Kasumi three times in the middle, thinking that I would write a book after watching this video.

Ah, it's getting dark, sleep.

16

But the status of him and Gojo Satoru seemed to be reversed.

In the past, Gojo Satoru was waiting for him in the broken tin hut. After all, he still had a lot of work to do every day, but during that time, when he went back every day, he could see Gojo Satoru lying on the bed playing games, and he would do whatever he wanted. It’s not bad to have a post just after get off work, it’s super happy.

Gojo Satoru has been on a business trip for six days now.

Are you Chuya Central Plains?Osamu Dazai thought blankly.

He can understand that Gojo Satoru is really busy. After all, there are countless magic spirits in this garbage world, but the magician only has two or three kittens, and he doesn't do anything about it every day. His cat just likes to be a model worker. It's fine to go out early and return late every day, but what's the point of being called out by a phone call after you come back?

Are you a delivery boy?

17

Mimiko and Nanako became angrier the more they listened: "Can't he not go to work?"

Osamu Dazai patted the table: "Yeah, can't he not go to work?"

Xia Youjie quietly added "he may have to support his family", but this sentence was ignored by the other three people, and Dazai thought about his own happiness, but also remembered his aggrieved Reality: "There were a few times when the pants came off..."

Xia Youjie: "Stop."

"Mimiko and Nanako are still minors." He covered Osamu Dazai's mouth with a slap, "I'm not interested in your private life."

Osamu Dazai: "—and then he was called away."

Xia Youjie was stunned for a moment, then let go of his hand: "Is it so miserable?"

"That's right!" Osamu Dazai covered his wisdom teeth in pain, "You said he can't do it."

18

It's really miserable, Osamu Dazai thought, he would have a headache once in a while, it's not a physical problem at all, it's just a psychological problem, he has already taken it very seriously, but every time he has a headache, he can't wait to find a After jumping into the river, the corpse might still float into the sea, but it pollutes the environment a bit, and the pain is so painful that he can't play games or scroll through small videos, so he just put on his coat and went for a walk.

After walking in a circle and returning, the house was empty, without even turning on a light.

He was terribly annoyed, took out his phone and pressed the number, he was stunned as soon as the call was connected, he might be fighting a monster over there, the noise made his head explode, Dazai rubbed his brows and asked : "How much longer?"

"almost."

"What do you mean soon..."

"I still have something to do and I don't have time to call right now, I'll talk about it later—"

Osamu Dazai was almost stunned when he heard the beeping voice on the phone. Is there anyone in this world who is more miserable than him?He picked up a soft cushion and threw it on the wooden floor beside the edge. It was raining outside, and the raindrops hit the banana leaves one by one. After 2 minutes, the rain stopped, and the moon appeared from behind the clouds, snow-white and snow-white. He looked up. After looking at the moon for a while, I suddenly found that this beam is also very beautiful.

Great for hanging health laws.

He took off his coat and twisted it up, and tested the strength again. After all, life is really boring, so boring that he started to think about it. He watched a short video of someone swinging on a neck, and he wanted to try it too. Hang your head in...

"And then?" Xia Youjie couldn't help but said, "Be normal, I'm scared."

Osamu Dazai pulled the bandage on his body, looking unbearable: "Then he was beaten by the cat for a whole night."

Xia Youjie blurted out: "Respect, best wishes."

Mimiko and Nanako turned to look at him without a word.

19

How should I live this day.

Osamu Dazai thought about this question for a long time, but some people couldn't see him thinking. Gojo Satoru felt very shocked when Osamu Dazai fell into deep thought. It was fine for others to think, but Osamu Dazai couldn't. One night a shooting star passed by the sky and he seriously Make a wish, meteor, meteor, let Osamu Dazai not think about it in the future, or become a fool.

Taking a step back, it's okay to lose qualifications in the world and become demented in the world.

The meteor turned around and walked away without looking back, and went back wherever it came from.

Osamu Dazai couldn't think of a reason, so he went to toss the students. After his new book was published, Noctua Masamune suddenly realized that this man who was eating nothing was actually a literary giant, and he was still a living literary giant. He immediately signed a labor contract with him, and his salary was paid. The bucks are whizzing, and even the median per capita income in Tokyo can't reach it.

Osamu Dazai was terrified holding his salary slip. This money could not even buy him a shirt, and he could buy a tie for a few months without eating or drinking. He didn’t even owe him an extra word when he went to class the next day. Feng, even losing the fun of teasing Fu Heihui, finally lay down on the tatami mat and sighed at the salary slip.

Gojo Satoru passed by in his busy schedule, and easily took the salary slip from his hand.

Osamu Dazai: "?"

First grade three and second grade two and one panda: "?"

"Salary handed in!"

20

The students were all stunned.

This country has a practice of handing in wages, but Gojo Satoru and Dazai Osamu put together, Gojo Satoru can break the sky, no matter how you look at it, it should not be the one who receives wages. After Dazai Osamu was robbed of his salary, he directly Losing his soul, he lay on the tatami mat with dull sobs and sobs. Classes were no longer in session, and he couldn't get up.

He has always been very good at pretending, and he forcibly added a cute buff to himself, even Fuguro Hui couldn't stand it, a circle of people surrounded Osamu Dazai, trying to persuade him, tell me about you , what is this picture?

Is the chicken breaking the cat so delicious?

Osamu Dazai was silent for a moment, then nodded honestly: "I thought he was good-looking, and I also thought he was rich."

Osamu Dazai: "It smells good."

Nagasaki Wild Rose cursed and slapped the table next to her: "Can you bear this?"

Inexplicably, Xia Youjie, who was pulled over by Knotweed Youren to reason, closed his eyes: Respect, blessings.

31

Xia Youjie received the treatment that Wujo Wu should have received. Everyone said that his butt was not straight. Mimiko and Nanako, whose parents came home, made ponytails to make amends.

Xia Youjie: Damn it, how could I know these two men.