Specific gravity

The drama was performed in the city theater for three consecutive days. Xuanzhao bought tickets for the three days, but Cen Baiyan never made an appointment with Xuanzhao.

On the third night, Xuan Zhao was waiting for Cen Baiyan at the entrance of the theater. The performance started at eight o'clock. The audience who entered the theater passed by him in twos and threes. forward.

The theater radio issued a reminder to promote the venue, Xuan Zhao raised his hand to look at his watch, it was already seven fifty.

Twenty minutes had passed since he sent an invitation to Cen Baiyan.

The theater administrator saw that he was alone with two tickets in his hand, and asked Xuanzhao kindly if he needed help

Xuan Zhao expressed his gratitude and said with a smile that I was waiting for someone.

The administrator pointed to the huge poster pasted on the glass window, and said that this is the [-] o'clock performance, and it will start soon. Has the person you were waiting for come yet?

Xuanzhao's smile was still gentle and elegant, but he lowered his eyelashes a little, saying that the person I was waiting for should not come, but I still have to wait for him.

The administrator was very surprised: "Thenwhy are you still waiting for him?"

Xuan Zhao smiled: "I promise."

He promised himself that he would give Cen Baiyan a lot of patience and courage, and he would wait for Cen Baiyan.

The administrator was puzzled, shrugged and left.

Cen Baiyan was studying on the basement floor of the library. In front of him was an open "Architectural Thinking", which had not been turned for a long time.

Since he received Xuan Zhao's text message 10 minutes ago, the book has not been turned.

"Bo Yan, I'm at the entrance of the theater, waiting for you here, are you coming to the show today?"

Cen Baiyan did not reply to the message.

There is an antique-style mechanical clock hanging on the wall. Cen Baiyan has never felt that the "tick" sound of the second hand is so noisy, which disturbs him. The familiar space construction cases in the books suddenly become very strange and abstract. Cen Baiyan couldn't read a single word.

—He won’t wait for me until the end of the show, will he?The weather is so cold, will he have to wait two or three hours?

Fuck!

Cen Boyan pressed his forehead irritably, he hated the way he was absent-minded now, more precisely, he hated himself who couldn't control his mind.

His mind was in chaos, Cen Baiyan pressed the cap of his pen to the center of his brow, and forced himself to calm down, but the light from the corner of his eye was involuntarily glanced at the wall - 55:[-].

The phone by the table vibrated, Cen Baiyan glanced at it, and a prompt popped up on the lock screen, it was a message from Xuan Zhao.

Cen Baiyan guessed that Xuanzhao would say something like "I won't leave until you show up", and suddenly he felt an inexplicable anger in his heart, his brows were tightly frowned, he picked up his phone and opened the information interface, without even looking at Xuanzhao After sending something, he quickly typed on the keyboard with his ten fingers.

——I won't go to any show, I won't go to a show with you in my life, don't do such boring things anymore, it's really annoying.

Just about to press the send button, Cen Baiyan raised his eyes and saw the message from Xuan Zhao, and his fingertips paused instantly.

"Ticket checking will stop after eight o'clock. I'll be in first. You are busy with your work. It may rain after ten o'clock. You should go back early, and remember to hold an umbrella if it is late."

Cen Baiyan could even imagine what kind of expression and tone Xuan Zhao would have when he said this, and the boredom in his heart that came from nowhere suddenly subsided.

His eyes flickered slightly, and he deleted the typed sentence word by word.

Cen Baiyan leaned back on the chair, exhaled heavily, closed his eyes and meditated for a moment, then clenched his right hand into a fist, lightly thumped his left heart, and whispered you, you, can you make a fuss?

The sound of the second hand turning was no longer noisy, and the cases in the book were no longer unfamiliar. Cen Baiyan's heart that had been hanging down fell back to the real place. He picked up his pen again and turned "Architectural Thinking" to a new page.

After watching the drama alone, Xuan Zhao returned to the hotel, took a simple wash and sat down at the desk, took out the notebook from his bag, and turned to the latest page.

The diary he fabricated was torn up by Cen Baiyan. After Cen Baiyan left, Xuan Zhao sat in the messy room for a long, long time. At that time, he felt that he was torn apart just like the diary. Well, he'll be fine.

So Xuan Zhao frantically picked up the paper pages on the ground, and it took him a long time to piece together those thin pieces, but the diary was put together, but he didn't get better.

Xuan Zhaocai realized belatedly that it wasn't the diary that was torn apart, but the sincerity that he had secretly written between the lines without knowing when he had been torn apart.

The cover of the diary was completely torn in two and could no longer be used, so Xuan Zhao bought an identical hard cover, bound the pasted pages into it, and started writing a new diary at the back.

Writing a diary seems to be an absurd and ridiculous thing in this era, but Xuanzhao seems to insist on some inexplicable sense of ritual, which has not been interrupted for more than half a year.

In the company, he usually has a very busy schedule, and he is too tired to move his fingers at the end of the day, so he simply writes "I am very busy today, but I still miss you during lunch break"; when he returns to school, he will be more relaxed, So I will write the experience of this day into the diary in detail, ranging from choosing a topic for my graduation thesis to changing to a new brand of dog food.

Maybe Cen Baiyan will see it, and it is even more likely that Cen Baiyan will never see it.

In the last diary, Xuan Zhao wrote it down for Cen Baiyan to find out, but in this one, he wanted to piece together a complete version of himself.

"The play is very exciting, and the main character is Oslov, the master architect." Xuan Zhao lowered his head under the desk lamp, and wrote very seriously, "You must know his life better than I do, but what this show tells is not It’s not his professional achievement, but the story between him and his lover. You didn’t come today, I’m worried that if you ask me about the plot someday in the future, I can’t remember clearly, so I will record it now, so as not to forget , I will repeat it to you later when I have a chance.”

He recorded very meticulously, including the stage set, actors' costumes, classic lines, and the light and dark changes of the lights during transitions. It seems that he wants to present the whole performance to Cen Baiyan vividly with a single pen.

When Xuanzhao finished writing, it was already late at night. He closed his notebook, leaned against the back of his chair and took a nap, then took out his office computer and began to deal with the company's affairs remotely.

For the next ten days, Cen Baiyan frequently met Xuan Zhao in various places.

Unlike the time on Cen Baiyan's birthday, Xuan Zhao was abrupt and unreasonable, waiting for Cen Baiyan at the school gate, and would not stop until he saw Cen Baiyan. This time Xuan Zhao was very restrained, polite and gentle.

Cen Baiyan changed his seat several times in the library, but Xuan Zhao could always find out exactly where he was sitting, and he was not too close to Cen Baiyan, usually choosing a seat across the table from Cen Baiyan, and greeted Cen Baiyan with a smile; When Cen Baiyan was waiting for the bus at the bus stop after school, Xuan Zhao would appear on the platform "at the right time" and explain to Cen that the hotel he lived in was just two streets away from Cen's new apartment, and he happened to take this bus back; If there are other vacant seats in the car, Xuan Zhao will not sit next to Cen Baiyan, nor will he have nothing to do with Cen Baiyan. He likes the seat by the left rear window. After sitting down, he will take out the tablet to read a book, as if he really just An ordinary person who needs to take this bus home; they got off at the same stop, Xuan Zhao walked behind Cen Baiyan, stepped on Cen Baiyan's shadow, and arrived at the fork in the block, Xuan Zhaohui said goodbye to Cen Baiyan, and then politely He asked Cen Baiyan eagerly if he wanted to have dinner together tomorrow. At such times, Cen Baiyan would often not respond, and Xuan Zhao was not annoyed, and waved to Cen Baiyan like a beckoning cat.

He was really pursuing Cen Baiyan in this clumsy and uninspired way.

Xuanzhao had never chased anyone before, and his experience in this area was extremely lacking, so he had to learn by observing others.He has read many classic love movies and books. When the protagonist pursues the other party, without exception, he uses two methods, "creating encounters" and "creating surprises".

There are very few traditional Chinese medicine centers here, and there are few materials that can be bought. Xuanzhao went to another continent to buy herbal medicines and made medicine packs for Cen Baiyan. Every two days, when Cen Baiyan came back from the tea room or the bathroom, he would find a delicate embroidered bag on the table; Xuan Zhao imitated what Cen Baiyan used to do before, and gave Cen Baiyan some weird little things from time to time, and sometimes sent out Rubber snakes with strange sounds and toy slugs with candy oozing out of their nostrils. At the fork in the road when we parted every night, Xuan Zhao would take these little things out of his pocket and hand them to Cen Baiyan, telling him, "You like this one?" Do you want to have dinner with me tomorrow if you like?"

But Cen Baiyan never accepted it once, and he never had dinner with Xuan Zhao.

Cen Boyan acted very indifferently, and almost did not respond to Xuan Zhao. However, his harsh words or cold eyes did not make Xuan Zhaoqi retreat. Occasionally, Cen Baiyan would see a hint of discouragement in Xuan Zhao's eyes. He was about to give up, but in the blink of an eye, Xuan Zhao looked at him with a smile again.

Whether it was before or after the breakup, Cen Baiyan found that he had nothing to do with Xuan Zhao.

In the first ten days of March, the school announced that it would conduct quarterly tests uniformly. Hugging Buddha's feet has always been a common tradition in both China and the West, and the number of people in the library suddenly increased.Cen Baiyan found an empty table on the fifth floor, took a cup of coffee and came back to sit down. Not long after, a pair of white canvas shoes and a black walking stick appeared in front of him.

"There is no other seat today," Xuan Zhao said softly, "Can I sit across from you?"

Cen Baiyan raised his head and glanced at Xuanzhao. From this angle of looking up, his slightly long hair hung over the bridge of his nose, and his eyelashes looked especially slender.

Cen Baiyan's heart skipped a beat, and immediately lowered his eyes, and said indifferently: "If you don't study, don't take up a seat."

Xuan Zhao paused, and just about to say something, a black boy with a stack of books trotted over, looked at the two of them, and asked Cen Baiyan if there was anyone sitting across from him.

Cen Boyan shook his head without raising his head, the black boy showed his white teeth in a smile, and sat down on the chair.

The library is very quiet, occasionally you can hear whispers of communication, and Xuanzhao left very quietly, and the sound of knocking on the ground when turning the corner was extremely slight, as if afraid of disturbing Cen Baiyan.

It wasn't until the black boy sitting across from him patted his hand that Cen Baiyan came back to his senses and found that his pen was resting on the page, and the tip of the pen pierced the paper.

The library closed at ten o'clock, Cen Baiyan walked out of the school with a backpack, and looked around subconsciously at the bus stop—he was not there.

He should have given up, right?Did he leave?Will he come again?

As soon as this thought came up in his mind, Cen Baiyan felt a hidden bitterness on the back of his tongue. He looked down at his toes and told himself that this was the best, and this was what he hoped for.

The bus he took arrived at the stop very quickly, Cen Baiyan didn't know why he paused, and finally didn't get on the bus.

The driver didn't stop because of his hesitation. After the bus drove away from the platform and completely disappeared from sight, Cen Baiyan suddenly realized what he was doing. He cursed in a low voice, put his hand on his forehead, and closed his eyes heavily.

"Bai Yan?" Xuan Zhao's clear voice sounded immediately.

Cen Baiyan's heart skipped a beat, and when he opened his eyes, he immediately saw a cup of steaming milk.

"I saw that it was almost time, so I went to the convenience store and bought a cup of hot drink. It must be cold today." Xuan Zhao sniffed, "I'm wearing thick clothes, but I still have a cold."

At that moment, Cen Baiyan had a lot of emotions in his eyes. He stared at Xuan Zhao for a few seconds, and then put his hands in his pockets indifferently.

— This is a gesture of refusal.

Xuan Zhao pursed his lips, held the cup of hot milk and said, "Then I'll drink it."

The next bus arrived 10 minutes later, and there was no one on the last bus. Cen Baiyan sat in the front row, and Xuan Zhao sat in the window on the left rear. After getting off the bus, they walked together for a while. Cen Baiyan: "Boyan, do you want to have dinner together tomorrow? May I make some dishes for you?"

"No need." Cen Baiyan strode towards the block where the apartment was located without pausing.

Xuanzhao watched his back getting farther and farther away, his eyes suddenly felt a little sore, the hot milk was no longer hot, but he still held it tightly in his arms.

That night, Cen Baiyan couldn't sleep at all.

Because he discovered that he still had expectations for Xuan Zhao.

That bus stop, that bus he missed, what was he waiting for?

Cen Baiyan pushed open the window, and the cold wind "whistled" into the room. He bowed his head to light his cigarette, but his wrists kept trembling, and he fired the lighter three times before he lit the cigarette.

The night wind in March in the northern hemisphere was as sharp as a knife, and it cut Cen Baiyan completely open. He looked down and saw a person in his bloody chest, his eyes were crooked when he smiled, and there was a dimple-like scar at the corner of his mouth.

The heart-wrenching pain surged up in an instant, and Cen Baiyan took a deep breath of the cigarette, almost choking tears.

He can admit that he has no way to forget Xuan Zhao, he can admit that he is still uneasy because of Xuan Zhao, and then Cen Baiyan asks himself, he asks himself:

—Can I still be with him?

The long-lost pain hit him overwhelmingly, and the scenes in Chenxiang Hall half a year ago replayed in his mind again. What Xuan Zhao said was all false, from beginning to end.

Every cell in the body was twitching, crying and telling Cen Baiyan no, no.

He is a coward who was bitten by a snake once and was afraid of well ropes for ten years. He can't, dare not, and can't believe in Xuanzang anymore.

Cen Baiyan was afraid of pain, really scared.