want to die in winter [be]

"Kite, please help me. Last time that Li Chi pinched my butt directly, I was really scared. If I go there again this time, I really might not be able to take it off tonight." Wan Ke pulled my butt Hands begged bitterly, and there was an expression of pity on his face.

I hesitated.

Li Chi in his mouth is the most playful master in the circle, he likes men, he also plays with flowers in bed, and when he is his lover, he has to go to the hospital almost every day.

I don't know what's wrong recently, there is no one around Li Chi, but he has taken a fancy to my colleague Wan Ke, and he has to come over to tease him from time to time to be happy.

Li Chi has a bottom line, which is not to touch straight men, so Wan Ke didn't want to give wine, so he set his sights on me.

I smiled wryly.

He doesn't know, and I'm not straight either.

And I have someone I like, I like my childhood, but unfortunately he has gone abroad and will never come back in this life.

I sighed, in fact, I am not entirely gay, I just like my petite, and to other people I still maintain all the characteristics that straight men have.

Under his tearful plea, I hesitated and nodded.

It's just a gift of wine, and it may not be possible to earn a little tip, so it's not a loss if you think about it.

I took the wine tray and walked slowly towards the 403 box.

The bottle of wine on the tray has been treasured by the boss for a long time. I heard that it cost several million to buy it back then. It has been kept for so long, and now it costs at least 1000 million. The private room must be a group of rich young masters from rich families. .

My whole body is not worth 50 yuan, so I can only walk forward cautiously, for fear that the bottle will fall and my life will be gone.

The door of the box was not closed tightly, and I could hear their laughter when I stood at the door.

What else can men discuss?More or less inseparable from women, money, status...and men.

I frowned, trying to keep my face as emotionless as possible, without showing any dissatisfaction that belonged to me, I walked in with my head down and said "Sir, your wine", after I finished speaking, I wanted to leave this smoky place.

"Hey? Stop. Where's Wan Ke? Why are you here?"

I raised my head, the corners of my mouth didn't have any curvature, I said respectfully and formulaically, "Wan Ke was called to carry the wine temporarily."

"Moving wine?" Li Chi laughed wantonly, then the corners of his mouth retracted, and a wine bottle was thrown directly at him.

"Boom!"

My forehead was smashed, and the blood fell down with glass shards and hit my feet. My forehead hurt so much, it probably contained glass shards.

But I can't leave.

I know that Li Chi is angry. He is a young master who never allows himself to be dissatisfied. If it's over, I may have to go to the hospital today.

"I fucking paid for you to serve me like this?" Li Chi smiled and pinched my jaw, the bones of which were almost crushed by him.

People like me, lowly, uneducated, working from dawn to dusk to work so that we can eat every day, were born to be played by these rich people.

I have long understood this truth, and despite being treated like this, I have not had much emotional ups and downs.

"Sorry, I'll call him over."

Li Chi smiled, and suddenly became interested: "Why haven't I seen you before?"

"I'm in charge of logistics, I don't work in the bar."

Li Chi pinched my face and turned to other people, as if showing an object that anyone can play with, and said with a smile: "Hey, doesn't this person look good?"

The people next to him understood what Li Chi meant, and they all applauded, saying that the whip they bought just a few days ago could be used.

I suddenly panicked. I thought he was just hitting me to relieve my anger, but I didn't expect him to want to fuck me.

I have someone I like, which means that I would rather die than be with another person, let alone be raped by him.

Although there is no mirror, I also know that my face must be pale at this time, without a trace of blood.

Li Chi laughed wildly when he saw me: "Hahahahahaha, look at his face, it's so funny."

I broke free a few times, but I didn't break free, and I didn't dare to make too much of a move, for fear that Li Chi would really just find a toilet and fuck me.

"I... I don't like men." With a pale face and dull eyes, I said, "I'm sorry, it's my fault. May I pour you some wine?"

Li Chi was unmoved, but when he heard the word "straight man", he lost interest in an instant. He observed me for a while, then looked down at me, and finally shook his head in disappointment: "Okay, come over and pour the wine."

I hurriedly squatted down to pour wine for the master, and stood aside after pouring, not daring to leave.

On the side, Li Chi felt a little irritated by being destroyed, and kicked my stomach. I held my stomach in pain and backed away. My face turned pale, and I felt like I was about to vomit out my internal organs.

His forehead still hurts, and his cheeks are covered with blood.

"Go tell Wan Ke to get the hell out of here." He said, "Go out and wash your face for me, it's disgusting."

Right, in their eyes, the blood I shed is dirty and disgusting.

I nodded tremblingly, and ran out to find Wanke.

Wan Ke was not there, I frowned, for the sake of my life, I walked around the whole bar without seeing him.

Finally, I sat for a while in disappointment and went to the bathroom.

There are people in the toilet. The toilet in the bar is never used to go to the toilet. For example, there are two people in the next door.

As soon as I pulled off my pants, I heard a familiar voice, it was Wan Ke.

Therefore, the panting man next door is everything.

"Today...well, someone still wants to fuck me, I didn't give...well... I specially waited for you..."

"... Hurry up... someone will come soon."

"Ha...don't zip that idiot...do you really think you can...get out from inside? I've already seen it. He's just like me. He's a fucking gay who likes to be fucked..."

The man chuckled: "Is he gay?"

"Did you like it? If you like it, I'll let him come over. He's so stupid that he's easy to deceive."

Sparse toilets are also very loud in the quiet.

I looked down at myself, and immediately lost the mood to go to the bathroom, pulled up my pants and walked out.

I asked the foreman for leave, and he asked me what I was doing, and I pointed to my forehead.

Can't you see this?A hole on the forehead is almost disfigured, not to mention a bloodstain left from that wound, I can scare people to death if I walk out like this.

The foreman glanced blankly, and ticked me off: "Temporarily deduct half of the wages."

I nodded.

Oh shit.

It's like I'm exhausted today, and I only have a salary of 50 yuan.

Not enough medical bills.

I stood at the door and looked at the sky and suddenly felt a little lonely.

I look at the shining stars in the sky, even though they are thousands of miles away from the earth, they are shining and can be seen by human beings, and people regard them as representatives of beauty, even if people cannot understand its loneliness.

But what am I doing alive?what's the function?

Is it really necessary to live if I think about where the next meal will come from every day?

Maybe after death, the ashes go to the sea, and I can still play with Yuercaoer.

I lowered my head, thinking to myself no, how could all the unlucky things happen to me, God...will also comfort me, my other window, when will you open it.

I just took a step forward and it was raining.

God did not hear my call.

It's not raining heavily, and I'm thinking about running from here to the hospital, whether I can make it before it rains.

But how do I get back?Taxi is too expensive, I can't afford it at all.

Before I could come up with a good or bad idea, I had already made a big deal.

Well, I can't go now either.

My forehead hurts, because the air is too humid, I feel like I'm going to be inflamed, I'm dizzy, my stomach hurts, I can't go back to the bar after taking leave, where should I go?

I squatted at the door, clutching my stomach with my fingers, closing my eyes and burying my head in my knees.

It's good to die like this.

"Don't kite?"

I seemed to hear a familiar voice.

The sound pierced the eardrums and hit the head directly.

The tone was so familiar, almost instantly, I raised my head and looked over there.

I looked at the man holding an umbrella in the rain, looked into his eyes, and couldn't calm down for a long time.

He is back?

He is back.

Could this be...another window God opened for me?

My thoughts gradually became heavy, and the upper eyelids pressed my eyes, making it impossible for me to open them to see more clearly.

Feeling weak all over, the next second, he fell into infinite darkness.

Later, I wondered countless times why God arranged for us to meet and opened another window for me, but I still did not die well.

I thought, probably because when the window was open, I didn't have the courage to face the brightness, so I closed my eyes.

It's all my fault, if only I insisted on watching him a little longer.

Blame me.