Leisurely with the wind

Chu Suifeng straightened up in shock, and then fell down weakly because of the pain. He Zhengqing was so frightened that he hurried forward to help Chu Suifeng, and lay down slowly.

"What are you anxious about? It's been so long. It's useless for you to be anxious. What should happen, everything happened. Why don't you want us to know your past?" He Zhengqing frowned, supporting Chu Suifeng said dissatisfiedly.

"Does anyone know?" Chu Suifeng's tone was very bad.

He Zhengqing didn't bother to bother with an injured patient, "It's just me, Xu Youran, who is still lovely. No, I don't understand. I didn't find out what you did wrong from the beginning to the end. Why are you so unwilling to let others Know, we are your friends, your lover, we want to help you, but you always wrap yourself tightly, leaving us nowhere to start. Suifeng, give us a chance, and give yourself An opportunity, a chance for a complete change, you don't need to tell us anything, but you can tell Xu Youran that she is your lover, and only by thoroughly understanding each other can your love continue, so don't cut it off with your own hands The possibility, and then say to yourself, it's impossible."

Chu Suifeng kept his face sullen and didn't speak, He Zhengqing sighed, got up and left, "I've finished talking, you've been in poor health all this time, I can't say anything, I'm here to tell you specially today, Even if it's not today, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, I will still find an opportunity to tell you, follow the wind, let yourself go, don't destroy all your happiness, you deserve happiness, when you open your heart, maybe you can See, Xu Youran's love for you is also sincere."

He Zhengqing left the ward, gave Chu Suifeng time to think for himself, and when he went out, he saw Xu Youran bursting into tears at the door of the ward, sighed and said: "I've said everything I need to say, and the rest is up to you But I think Suifeng really has a lot of things in her heart, whether she can figure it out, I really can't guarantee."

Xu Youran shook her head, choked up and said: "This is enough, thank you, I will work hard for the rest, this time, I won't let go no matter what."

He Zhengqing looked at Xu Youran helplessly, and said: "Chu Suifeng has a very strange mind. It's not easy for ordinary people to see through their minds. Hers will only be more difficult. It's not a good habit to guess each other's minds. I think there are some things you should tell her clearly, clear up all misunderstandings, and say everything you need to say. You should explain your heart to her first, and maybe she will tell you about herself."

Xu Youran nodded, looked at the closed door, and said with a wry smile: "Give her some time, I'll talk to her later."

He Zhengqing yawned, and said as he walked, "Okay, then work hard on your own, I'll go back first, I'm exhausted these days."

That night, neither Xu Youran nor Chu Suifeng slept well, one was thinking about the answer, the other was waiting for the answer, but is there really an answer?Isn't everything as you want it to be?Maybe sometimes, the authorities are really obsessed with the onlookers, and in the middle of the game, they will involuntarily complicate the issue, but in the end they waste their time and live up to their youth.

The next day, Xu Youran lingered at the door of the ward for a long time, and finally plucked up the courage to walk into the ward. Maybe it was because he didn't have a good rest. Chu Suifeng's complexion looked bad, which made Xu Youran feel regretful. It's not that the pressure is too tight, after all, Chu Suifeng's injury is not healed yet.

This is the first time the two of them face each other after Chu Suifeng woke up. They are a little embarrassed and expectant. It can only be said that the moods of the two are different, but they are all mixed. Why did the simple love become so complicated? blurred.

In the end, this kind of silence did not stay for too long. Chu Suifeng tore his hoarse throat and said firstly, "Have you met me, my father?" It was extremely difficult for Chu Suifeng to say the word father, because she In her life, these two words were unfamiliar, or tinged with terror. All in all, she had never said these two words in her life.

In the past, she wanted to say it, but the man didn't want to hear her say it. Later, it was the man who wanted her to say it, but she couldn't say it.

"Hmm." Xu Youran didn't know what to say, because she knew a long time ago that Chu Suifeng didn't like this father. She never dared to ask before, and she didn't dare to ask after knowing the reason, deeply afraid that she would be in the middle of the night. Hurt Chu Suifeng without knowing it.

Chu Suifeng sighed, looked at the teacup on the left, "Water."

Xu Youran saw that Chu Suifeng was extremely thirsty, but she also knew that the doctor had ordered Chu Suifeng not to gulp down water, so she could only tilt the water glass to let Chu Suifeng stop it.

Chu Suifeng also knew it well, took a small sip to moisten his throat, and continued: "I have never wanted to tell you, or I have never wanted anyone to know my past, because I am very inferior. I grew up being called a bastard, a trash picker, and a wild child. Later, although everyone seemed to owe me, and no one mentioned the past, there are some things that cannot be worn away. It's the same for a long time, as if I already have everything I want, but I can't become the kind of person I want to be, some things, hard work really doesn't work."

Xu Youran opened her mouth, but she didn't know what to say, comfort?At this time, Chu Suifeng is no longer needed, these things happened to her, no one knows what to do to really comfort her, but she herself?Looking at Chu Suifeng with a tangled expression, Xu Youran felt that maybe Chu Suifeng didn't know what she wanted, maybe what she wanted was to start everything from scratch so that she could have a complete family and a happy childhood, but None of this is possible.

"I don't know what that man said to you, but the real situation is definitely more cruel than what he knows. After all, in my impression, he didn't have many days around, and he hasn't had a good impression since then. "

Chu Suifeng's voice was very low, his eyes blurred, as if he had returned to those unbearable days.

"Since I was sensible, I grew up in the head of the village, but I know very well that I am not a child of the head of the village. I am very grateful to the head of the village. After all, this family raised me and taught me to walk and talk. , but I can also clearly feel that I am different from the children of the village chief's family, but the days at the village chief's house were the happiest days of my entire childhood."

Chu Suifeng sighed, closed his eyes, and looked at Chu Suifeng in pain, Xu Youran wanted to stop him from continuing, but she held back, she knew very well that Chu Suifeng was willing to tell her These are just giving the two of them another chance. If she doesn't let her finish talking, the two of them will probably never have another chance.

"I only registered when I was seven years old. The name Chu Suifeng was given by my mother. The surname Chu is not because my father's surname is Chu, but because the whole village is named Chu. Although they suspect that there are people outside my mother, But everyone knows that my mother has never left the village, so even if there is an adulterer, that person must be from the village. It is precisely because of this that the village chief will help me, because for him, I am a child of the Chu family village. But except for the village head, no one in the whole village treats me well. As long as someone treats me better, they will think it is from the family of an adulterer, so the whole village rejects me, even if It was the village chief’s family, and all the males went for a blood type test to make sure I was not a child of his family, thus avoiding gossip.”

Chu Suifeng's words made Xu Youran once again clearly understand the hardships of Chu Suifeng's childhood. Without the protection of adults, he was rejected by the whole village. Xu Youran couldn't even imagine how Chu Suifeng grew up in that situation. of.

"My hukou was also obtained by the village chief who forced that man's family to register for me, because I am going to primary school, and the village is checking closely. Chujia Village is not a poor village. If I don't go to school, the villagers will come to investigate. When the time comes When the incident got serious, the whole village would be ashamed. I don’t know what method the village head used. Anyway, my household registration was registered, and I also went to the man’s house. There were only two old people. Just beat me and make me work, I was so scared that I didn't even know what to do, because it seemed that no matter what I did, it was wrong, no matter what I said, I would be scolded, so in that house, I dare not speak , not daring to move around, every time I stay in the firewood room, trying to eliminate my sense of existence as much as possible.”

Xu Youran's eyes were full of distress, she seemed to see a thin little girl huddled in the pile of firewood, her eyes turned red involuntarily, and tears kept rolling around her eye sockets.

"Later I went to elementary school, and the tuition was paid by the village, not much, but I was different from other children, no one took care of me, I was always covered with worn-out clothes and looked dirty, because in that family , no one will buy clothes for me, wash clothes, every meal is the greatest happiness, more often, I am hungry, I can only pick up their leftovers, or I was so hungry that I went to the village chief’s house to ask for some food, so I looked like a little beggar. The primary school is not in the village, but in a larger village next to it, and several small villages nearby The children in my village are all in class there, as is our village, so my story was soon known by the teachers and classmates at the school. The teachers sympathized with me, but the children looked down on me. You never know, those The so-called innocent children will say such vicious words and behave so cruelly. Without the protection of the teachers, I may not even be able to finish primary school, so I hate children, and I have no intention of self-discipline. Give birth to a child, so you don't need to blame yourself too much for my loss of fertility, I don't intend to use this ability anyway."

Xu Youran opened her mouth, but in the end she didn't say anything, but silently held Chu Suifeng's hand.

Chu Suifeng struggled a bit at first, but then let Xu Youran hold her hand, which encouraged Xu Youran, she felt that she finally did something right.

Chu Suifeng pursed his lips and continued: "I was very unhappy in elementary school, but it was the place where I gained the most. When I returned to school in the second half of the first grade, the scars on my body proved that I There is no way to live in that home for a long time. In order to take care of me, the teacher at the school took the initiative to agree to let me live in the school in the future. I spent the whole day after primary school in the school, and the food I ate was from the teacher's house nearby. Most of the things I took and wore were used by the children of the teacher’s house. No matter what, I was much more comfortable at school than at that person’s house. The teachers told me that only by reading can I change my destiny. If I don’t read, I can only stay in this small mountain village forever. This scared me very much when I was young. I dreamed that I would have my own power, and then leave this place, go far away, and never come back. I used to fantasize about my My father is the other males in the village. I have observed every adult male in the village from house to house, but I have not found any one who may be my father, so for me, that village is my forever The place where I want to escape. With the help of the teachers, I was admitted to No. [-] Middle School with the best grades in the city, and then the No. [-] County No. [-] Middle School offered free tuition and miscellaneous fees and the advantages of scholarships, so I stayed in No. [-] County No. [-] Middle School Among them, the most important thing is that the teachers of County No. [-] Middle School promised me to open the dormitory for me during the winter and summer vacations, so that I can have a place to live. Therefore, I chose County No. [-] Middle School, which was also fought for by the teachers of the elementary school. Conditions, of course, my situation was inevitably known by the teachers of County No. [-] Middle School. Fortunately, no other students were admitted to that school, and the teachers also helped me keep the secret, so I lived a good life in middle school. , I was admitted to the best high school in our city. Unlike the junior high school, the high school teacher found that man and said that if I could go to their high school, not only the tuition and miscellaneous fees would be free, but also my sister would be able to go to this high school. The junior high school that the high school went straight to, the man agreed to let my sister go to a good junior high school, but this also means that I have to spend my winter and summer vacations at the man's house every year."

What Chu Suifeng said was simple, but judging from her several pauses, Xu Youran could feel the pain in her heart, the kind of pain that Xu Youran might not be able to experience in her life.

There are always some people in the world who think that they should be tolerant and magnanimous, and that they should be forgiven if someone apologizes, but in fact, this is only because the tragedy did not happen to them. Tolerance is never an easy thing, at least Xu Youran couldn't say the words to make Chu Suifeng forgive her father. Just thinking about such words in her mind made Xu Youran feel that she was betraying Chu Suifeng.

Because just listening to Chu Suifeng's words, Xu Youran could feel the pain in Chu Suifeng's heart. Xu Youran believed that at that time, Chu Suifeng at that age would only be more painful and sad than the one who was listening now.

"I haven't met that man a few times. I just remember that when I saw him for the first time, I wanted to call him Dad, but I just opened my mouth. I was so scared by the fierceness in his eyes that I dare not Speak up. During the three years when I lived in his house in high school, my aunt was very good and my sister was very good, but that man kept being cold and violent to me. I was superfluous to him. In fact, in that family, I also felt that I am superfluous, even though my aunt and sister have been doing their best to help me, but they are a family, and their sympathy is based on the tolerance of that man, and they cannot fight against that man for me, so, I I can only make my existence smaller as much as possible. In fact, I basically spent the winter and summer vacations of the three years of junior high school and high school in part-time jobs. At that time, I didn’t know what I was saving money for. I just wanted to save more money, and I thought of doing a DNA test when I was a sophomore in high school. At that time, a new music teacher came to the school. She just graduated from college. She was very young and lively. She was very Sympathize with me, always help me, try to get close to me, in order to get close to me, she brought up this DNA test. It may be just a flash of her inspiration, but it is an inspiration to me, yes, why should I Believe the gossip of those who treat me badly, but not my mother? Why should they be right, my mother must be wrong. In order to prove my mother’s innocence, I found out how to use the money, and then used Science proves my mother is innocent, I am innocent, we are all clean."