living sacrifice

I need church!

I don't know exactly why I encountered so many strange things, but when there are more people like this around me, I start to fear. I need a holy place, not a group of demons and ghosts surrounding me.

At that time, my faith was still lacking. Although I had experienced so much God’s leading before, I always felt that I didn’t know if God would give me a church.Although this is unreasonable suspicion.why not?

From this side of man, all hope has been cut off, and I don’t know what else I can do. Apart from trusting God, there is nothing I can do.

I don't have much faith, but I still keep praying, otherwise what could I do?

In such a situation, one day God's leading appeared.

I was still communicating with Mu Yun at that time, but our communication was not very smooth.

At that time, Mu Yun told me: "I just saw an article written by someone that you probably like. Would you like to read it?"

"Wait until you're free." At that time, I didn't even bother to talk to her. I thought she would have to go through a lot of hardships to get enlightened.

"She studies psychology and theology, and she thinks psychology is the knowledge of the devil."

I froze for a moment, then asked, "Why are you talking so much?"

"I didn't look at the specifics, you should read it yourself. However, I think I am more interested in her research on other aspects."

I have studied psychology for a while. At that time, it was because Wang Xuanhuan seemed to be a different person suddenly. Later, I was introduced by a friend to read some content related to "antisocial personality" and "avoidant attachment". A bit of an introvert.

But to be honest, I feel that psychology is not a cure for the symptoms at all.what reason?

The first is that I talked to Wang Xuanhuan later, and he said bluntly that he had received psychotherapy for two or three years, "It's useless at all, so don't waste your time."Another gay friend of mine is manic, and she didn't like it too, and then she gave up on herself.

The second is that once I won a lottery, I had the opportunity to chat with a psychological counselor.The counselor at that time was probably a novice. After chatting for a long time, he didn’t think there was any problem with me, but later he complained to me, “Actually, I feel that the counselor himself is also a patient. To treat other people's illnesses, we ourselves have many problems that cannot be solved, and after hearing too much about those things, we feel like a trash can."

But I think this sister's argument is very bold. Why does she say that psychology is from the devil?Judging from my own experience, at least psychology cannot completely solve the problem, because it attributes people's own sins to other problems such as "family of origin", and in the end avoids the most fundamental illnesses of people, and solves some problems. Superficial things, this is a palliative, not a permanent cure.

How dark my situation was before I was saved, how liberated and how joyful I was immediately after I was saved!The difference between before and after is whether I am willing to confess my sins, repent, and accept the efficacy of the precious blood of Jesus Christ by faith.

So later I read her research carefully, and she mentioned that the psychologist Jung himself mentioned in his own book that he had been a ghost.Because it has nothing to do with the theme of this novel, I won't repeat it, and those who are interested can look for it by themselves.

After reading it, I communicated with Mu Yun, and I didn't find any clues that time.

But the next day, Sister Cao came to see me.

She said to me, "Have you found the church yet?"

"not yet."

"Continue to pray for you."

"Thank you, Lord, and thank you, sister."

"By the way, I got a lot of help from a sister during this time, how about I forward her article to you for a look?"

I don't like to remember people's names, and I always feel that there are too many duplicate names, so it's not easy to remember.

At that moment, although I didn't remember that this was the person I just discussed with Mu Yun yesterday, but I felt a little familiar for no reason.

There is a feeling in my heart that I should check the chat records. After checking, I found out that I just chatted with Mu Yun about her yesterday.

At that time, I wondered if God told me to find her, otherwise why did Mu Yun and Sister Cao mention such a stranger for two consecutive days?You know, none of us had ever mentioned her name before.

Thinking of this, I didn't hesitate anymore. I found her Weibo and sent her a private message.

I said, "Sister, I know this is presumptuous, but I think the Lord sent me to you."

I think it's really rude to say this, but what can I do?This is all true.

I remember that she didn't reply to me until the next day, and she didn't seem to hang on the Internet very often.

The sister wrote very old-fashioned. She said, "I don't know where you meet now? What is your name?"

We got in touch like this, and she told me that she was on the other side of the world and didn’t know much about the churches in City S, and she needed to ask me if there was any church that could gather for me.

I believe she should have resources here, and I am very grateful that she is willing to help me, a person I have never met.We basically only contacted this time, and because my Weibo was blocked, her account was also blocked, and we lost contact.

While I was waiting, I was panicking.It was because of the things that happened in the church before that I was as frightened as a bird, and I was afraid that I would encounter such a church again.

Sister Cao told me: "I never thought that Qian Junru would actually be preaching in your place. Do you know? In Zhu Zhishan's meeting, I saw Qian Junru fall to the ground after being laid hands on." Foaming and rolling continuously, I feel that she has no Holy Spirit."

"Has she been laid hands on?" I thought it was dirty when I thought about laying hands, because I was also laid hands on by Sister Zhao.

Mu Yun was also pressed, and she said that she felt like an electric current passed through her.I recalled it, I didn't feel it, but I was very resistant to her laying hands on me at the time, but because I thought it was her kindness, I reluctantly first.

Sister Cao knew the people in the original church so well that I couldn't help but want to ask more questions.

I said, "Do you know Brother Sun? What happened to him? I kept crying after calling him. I felt in my heart that he had betrayed the Lord."

"This is the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Hey, who knows him? Knowing people knows the face but not the heart, but the "Bible" says that an elder must have a good testimony in marriage, and he is not qualified to be an elder. A Christian Remarried, I don't know what he thinks."

I said: "I still don't understand. I was very sad when I hung up the phone. I cried for an hour at home alone. I know that Sister Zhao and Qian Junru don't understand what they are doing, but what about Brother Sun? What is he planning?"

"No one knows but God."

I asked: "Then I was baptized by Brother Sun. If he is really not born again, is it still useful for him to baptize me?"

"I don't know about that, you'd better pray hard. But to be honest, these people are not clean."

I never thought about the legality of my baptism before God.I thought, if Brother Sun is really an unsaved Christian, if he baptizes me, will I also be implicated by him?

Personally, I understand the importance of salvation. It is like the last Noah's Ark in this world. If you miss it, it will be gone.

I figured I'd want that ticket even if it was a rip-off, I didn't want to be left on the ground while the world was in catastrophe, I wanted to be on board.If I have the opportunity, I will definitely not miss the baptism of salvation, just like Peter said, "Lord, you will not only wash my feet, but also my head."

But how do I know if I am considered a saved person in the eyes of God?

I was terrified, because during that time I didn’t know why, and I couldn’t read the Bible, and I couldn’t pray, and I became the same as before.I know that God has left me, but I don't know whether it is the old covenant or the new covenant.

In the Old Testament, the Holy Spirit will not be with people forever, so they may never come back after leaving; but in the New Testament, the Lord Jesus personally guaranteed, that is to say, the Holy Spirit may not leave, but He just doesn’t speak.

I know it was caused by my crime, but I don’t know what crime I committed. I saw sister Zhao, Qian Junru, and brother Sun, all of whom had more serious problems than me, but I didn’t know that I was posting randomly at that time, Randomly condemn others.I was also confused then.

From Sister Cao, I learned something else. Zhu Zhishan’s church was not very clean before. Later, after a person brought in people from the Bread of Life Church, the laying on of hands began. It was at this time that Qian Junru Laid on.After that, she became very enthusiastic and even wanted to go to war-torn places to preach the gospel to others.

Sister Cao said: "This matter angered God. Later, the person who introduced the Bread of Life Church suffered from two types of cancer, and another brother had an affair with a sister in the church, and then committed suicide by jumping off the building."

"I seem to know about this. I heard You Yan mention it." I thought for a while and said, "Is that sister Peony?"

"You still know her?"

Yes.

In fact, most of the so-called Christians I met in Sister Zhao’s church gave me the same feeling after getting acquainted with them: Why are Christians like this?

At that time, I really didn’t know much about the Christian circle. I only knew the Lord Jesus. I followed the Lord, not a man. Fortunately, I might have left the church because of this incident. The enemy would not let it go. Anything that devours one's chances.

I thought for a while and said: "You Yan didn't explain it to me in detail, she is always hemming and hawing. Can you talk about the cause and effect?"

Sister Cao tried hard to express clearly, but unfortunately, I didn't know what she was talking about from the beginning to the end.

"Who are you, You Yan?" Sister Cao finally asked.

"She is my sister."

"Huh? Your sister is You Yan?"

I think Sister Cao is very restrained in her words, but I can also feel that there is something in her words. Later, I met her face to face several times, and she said to me every time: "Your sister You Yan, she needs to repent. Lin Xiao, I To be honest, she really needs to repent!"