living sacrifice

We talked a lot when we were in the Wei Family Courtyard. We walked across the bridge over the river and went to see the peacocks in the yard. When I got back to my room, I was already very sleepy.

It was raining tick-tock outside, and by the time Wang Xuanhuan went to bed, the matter itself was not of interest to me, because I had slept with him for several days, and I thought it would be the same tonight.

"It's hot!" I complained.

He said, "Is the air conditioner turned off?" After speaking, he got out of bed and looked.

He turned off the light, the room was pitch black, and the sound of the rain on the roof was amplified infinitely. I heard the rain falling from the high eaves all the way, as if someone was playing a piano on our roof.

He also said: "I have never found that rain can sound so good."

"It's really a house with a story."

"Yes. I think it must be the young master and the young mistress who lived here in the past."

"Whose young master lives in the backyard?"

"Hey, I didn't pick a room either, I'll ask him for a better one next time."

"I'm kidding. The rooms here are nice, but hot."

"Really? I feel hot too."

I don't think I really said anything, but I saw his figure in the dark night, approaching me suddenly.

I subconsciously stretched out my hand to block it, and even blocked a mouth.

I was stunned, and he was also stunned.Then he backed away slightly, and the air was filled with his awkward voice: "Actually, I've been thinking about how to talk to you. Just now I don't know why, but I did it all of a sudden. I don't know how you will choose, or we You can still be friends like before, or you will hate me. I don't know why, and I can't tell."

"When did this happen?" I was also confused at the time, and I only asked this sentence, and the rest was tacitly understood.

"Probably during the Chinese New Year. I think it may be because of the family environment or various other factors. I still can't explain it. I just think it's pretty good."

I didn't speak for a long time.

He was even more embarrassed: "Don't just say something, just say something."

"I don't know how to say it. If you are single now, it's good for me to be with you. But you are not single, and I don't want to be a third party."

He suddenly turned on the light and looked at me with bright eyes: "You mean, if I'm single, would you like to be with me?"

"I really don't know what to do. We're in a really awkward situation. I mean, if you're single, then I don't have to be afraid of hurting anyone. After all, we're married, and we really have a relationship. It is justifiable to be together, and it is also a good thing for our two families."

"No, no, I can solve this matter. It's just that you need to give me time, and I can do it. I have no relationship with him for a long time. I think you should understand. "

His eyes are full of anticipation, I seem to be able to see from his face how I treated Zuo Anran back then.

Isn't this a turn of events?I cheated on Zuo Anran because I was tired of my ex; now Wang Xuanhuan cheated on me because I was tired of his current ex?Is this cheating?I'm really confused.

I suddenly realized one thing. What happened tonight seemed not in vain. There seemed to be a purpose in the dark to guide me what to do, but I didn't know it yet.

I didn't know that God's long discipline was about to come upon me. I was full of expectations when I was with Wang Xuanhuan at that time. I felt that I could solve my own mess by my own way.I thought this matter would have a good ending, after all, it was beautiful before, wasn't it?

However, no one can use his own arms to get himself out of the predicament.People fall into trouble because they are tempted by selfish desires, and the Lord has reminded them through the environment, but people are still stubborn. Only the Lord Jehovah can help people out of trouble.

During the night we lived in the Wei family's old house, we both had a very happy time, but nothing happened between us, we just talked a lot.Especially Wang Xuanhuan, I can't understand what his happiness is, but I can see the joy of a newlywed husband on his face.

That night, I was very tangled.

I think, if the two of us are really in love, then I also ended my gay journey, and he also ended his gay journey. We two gays finally fell in love. Can you say that this is not destined?I don't have to hide my past from him, and he doesn't have to hide his past from me. We don't have a past anymore, and we don't have any burdens anymore. Yearn for.

I yearn for an aboveboard life, which may be difficult for ordinary people to understand.

I just feel that such a re-choice is a possibility, because he has no relationship with that person, so why should we get together, why not leave the darkness and go to the light, and start again?

I think I probably hesitated for a long time, he has been looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to speak.

I feel that there is a force that prompts me to make such a choice. I think such a choice is beautiful, but I feel vaguely that something is wrong.At that time, I did not believe in God, I was a complete atheist, but at this time, I hoped that there would be a restraining force that could restrain Wang Xuanhuan, more just and faithful than I restrained him.

Not just hope, but at that moment, I seemed to really feel that there is such a kind of power, and he is my guarantee.

I told Wang Xuanhuan: "You have to swear to the sky, otherwise I can't believe you."

He almost gave up, but when he heard me say this suddenly, he turned his head in surprise, raised two fingers and pointed to the sky, and said to the sky: "I, Wang Xuanhuan, swear that if I feel sorry for Lin Xiao in the future, I hope God will thunder." Chop, let me never be reincarnated!" Then he looked at me again and said, "I don't want to force you to make a decision now, but are you willing to promise me to think about it? I will solve my problem as soon as possible, trust me."

I believe in God in the sky more than I believe in myself. I know that if something happens, I will not be able to save myself, but it is really difficult for me to explain the kind of confidence at that time. I am not even sure if I really believe in it. God, but I did.After Wang Xuanhuan took the oath, I believed in him for God's sake.

"It will be difficult for you." I couldn't bear it, because I knew that although Wang Xuanhuan had no relationship with that person, it might be a bit like the situation with my ex before.

"Yeah, it will be difficult for me. You have to know that it is not difficult for you alone to make such a decision. But you have to trust me and you can handle this matter properly. It's just that I have hurt people before because I Others said they broke up, which made him mentally ill. My decision was sudden, and I don’t know why I suddenly changed like this. I need time, Lin Xiao, and he also needs time to accept this matter.”

"Ok, I will wait for you."

In this atheistic world, there are many people who have sworn "If I am sorry to XXX, let me be struck by a thunderbolt, and I will never be reborn", because the sky did not strike these people to death, and they do not believe that there is still a soul after death. Go to trial, so the perjurers probably didn't take it very seriously when they said this.

I don't believe that there is a thunderbolt, and I don't believe that there is a "forever not to be reborn", so since I don't believe it myself, why should I make him swear like this?Honestly, I don't understand either.However, I said so.

Thank God, I let Wang Xuanhuan swear to the sky, this oath is unbreakable, and no human power can change it.

After I believed in the Lord, after my prayers were answered countless times by the Lord, I began to feel sorry for Wang Xuanhuan, and my hatred for him gradually turned into pity. He really didn’t know that the oath he made that day was the most valuable oath in the world.Even if he loses all his belongings, even if he dies, it's better than offending God, and it's better than swearing to God and not doing it.If a man offends God, no one can save him.What he did was the most stupid thing in the whole world.

But, he really doesn’t know, just like countless people in the world who have sworn to God but failed to keep their promises, they don’t know that their souls will be judged before the great throne of God after death, and they get the most useless things in the world , lost his most precious life.

In the hearts of atheists, "swearing to God" is the most useless thing; however, this is not the case. Although I may not remember it in the future, and I may not be able to defend my due rights, God will remember it.

The living Lord, the Lord of hosts, who sits on his throne in heaven, will judge the world with righteousness.

At that time, I was in trouble, but I still wanted to use my own method to solve the predicament in front of me. I hope that the two of us can get along well, and it would be best if things go smoothly.In many things, I also tolerated him, understood him, and did many things that I couldn't do before.

Returning from N City to S City, Wang Xuanhuan went back to his and his boyfriend’s house. When we separated, I really felt like I was fighting for love. What Wang Xuanhuan said to me at that time misunderstood me. I thought that the other party knew something about it. I didn't expect it would take so long for them to separate, and I didn't expect the other party to be unprepared at all.

I'm not Wang Xuanhuan, I haven't seen how they get along, what I heard from him is different from what I saw in reality.He whitewashed his truth, and I didn't expect him to solve this problem in such a detached way, and he never discussed things with me.

For my family and his family, I put up with it.I don't want to embarrass the families on both sides.

Wang Xuanhuan quickly moved some of his personal belongings from him and told me to be patient.

He said, "You have to trust me."

I don't believe that we don't have such a solid emotional foundation. Even people with real feelings can't tolerate such things happening, right?I think he acts like a completely disorganized scumbag. He is doing the stories that happened on TV one by one. He has broken through the boundaries of my imagination.Only then did I see clearly what kind of person he was, but the marriage certificate was already obtained, what should I do?

What I regret is why I didn't believe the voice that warned me before I got married, and I'm also annoyed why You Yan didn't tell me to repent before I got married?At that time she called me, I should have repented.I have no idea.I really don't know myself.

However, I have no way out, I have no choice, if I mess things up, it will eventually develop to the point where I can't deal with it, so I can only bear it for this sake.

I spent a long night thinking wildly, and now I have to worry about what Wang Xuanhuan is doing there. This kind of thing really tortures me.

I used one of my special skills, searched a little on the Internet, and found the interactive accounts of Wang Xuanhuan and his boyfriend. In this way, their lives were basically in front of my eyes.

It was at this time that I discovered that he was writing a diary, and what he wrote was our experience during the Chinese New Year. He did not avoid his boyfriend, and these diaries were public.

I still don't really want to say more about these shabby things, and I think readers should be able to make up for the next thing.There is nothing valuable in this, it is nothing more than the emotional entanglement of the three people.

I really regret getting involved in this mess when they were unclear, but Wang Xuanhuan is more responsible. He didn't handle these things well, maybe he was too selfish and wanted to take advantage of both sides.He didn't open up to his boyfriend, and he didn't open up to me, making us suspicious of each other.

I don't want to be the female supporting role in TV dramas, but now that the situation is wrong, I don't want to be such a person again.But with the whole family on one side and the messy situation at Wang Xuanhuan's place on the other, I couldn't live a peaceful life.I also felt sorry for his boyfriend, because I believed in Wang Xuanhuan's words too much, and made a decision without investigating clearly, and now I put both of us in an unclear situation.

Although Wang Xuanhuan repeatedly told me not to intervene, I couldn't help it because of my anxiety.I am going to tell the truth to his boyfriend, I think I have to live up to my conscience, although I have done wrong.

I sent a text message to his boyfriend saying that I really don't know the real situation of the two of them. I hope his boyfriend can tell me the real situation so that we can solve it.I told him I didn't mean to argue, but we need to understand the situation.

That man didn't reply to my messages, Wang Xuanhuan lived with him, and he ignored me at all.

Because of this matter, Wang Xuanhuan and I had a quarrel, and later he asked me out to talk and told me: "You don't care about my affairs."

I also told him clearly: "This matter is no longer yours alone."

"Can you promise to ignore my business?"

"No."

"Then I can only say that I can't accept that someone will control me."

I can't speak to him at all, eloquence is not my strong point, and I was so angry that I couldn't say a word.In my impression, he should have brought up the breakup, but then he twitched and said some nonsense on the Internet.

As much as I pretended to be cool, this breakup hurts more than anything, even my girlfriend of three years.

The first is that our family still has such an inextricable relationship, and I don’t know what to do; the second is that our relationship has just warmed up, and the relationship was cut off by other things abruptly; the third is, in this matter In fact, he owed me a lot of explanations, and I later suspected that he was actually using me, but I had no proof.

……

Their spirits are indeed operating in the kingdom of darkness, and so is mine. Before believing in the Lord, everyone was like this.We do things we don't know, we are ruled by sin, we become slaves to sin, but we think we are free.Drawn by sin, I made such a big mistake.

I have taken a very tragic detour, and although I can't see it, I have experienced hell in my most depressed and hopeless time. It is a place where there is no joy.I hated Wang Xuanhuan so much that I cursed him: "You are going to hell alone, don't drag me! God, I was wrong, please save me!"

In such a bleak, near-death situation, I said two prayers, and I didn't expect God to hear them all.Now that I think about it, the Lord really loves me. Even though I resist Him like this, He still hopes that I can ask Him for help.

The Lord took me out of the brink of hell with his own hands, and saved me from danger. That's why, when I first believed in the Lord, it seemed sweeter than others. It was because my sins were heavier and I was closer to hell than others. Bar.

Of course, this kind of prayer is not pleasing to God, but when he saw that I was covered in wounds, he didn't bother with me, and put me in this church to recuperate temporarily.He has his plan, I don't know it, but the Lord knows it, and it's best for me that he does it.

After going through so many things, I think only the Lord knows what my spiritual state was like when I was saved.

I can only know that I was probably suffering from depression at that time, and I often cried alone. When I thought of the bad things Wang Xuanhuan did to me, those unreasonable things, I gritted my teeth, but I really had nothing to do with him. Hope there is justice in this world.

Yes, there is justice in this world, justice is never late!

After experiencing these tribulations, I was forced to come to church by You Yan for the first time, but I heard God speak to me through Qian Junru, telling me to repent, and he said that He would give me a new life.

I was so tired of my old life, and at that time I really wished that God would give me a new life soon.

On that day, I suddenly understood that Jesus Christ is really the Son of God. Although I committed such a capital crime, He replaced my death with His own death and redeemed me with His own blood.They asked me to bear the cross, and I was willing to do so, because I really felt that the Lord came out from behind the mist to shine on me.

I only thought of Wang Xuanhuan treating me like this, but I didn't expect that for the past 30 years, I have always treated the Lord with the same attitude as Wang Xuanhuan.I avoided him and didn’t believe him. It was obvious that I committed a crime but refused to come back to him. I was like that young son who lost everything his father gave him and went back to his house full of shame, but his father slaughtered cattle and sheep to welcome him. I.

"I heard about you before, but now I see you with my own eyes."

After going through those things, I really felt like I was dirty.

But the Lord himself comforted me. He said to me through human mouths: "You are clean. What God has cleansed, you must not consider unclean."