After transferring to another school, I was stared at by the student god

In the darkness, the face of the person beside the bed was blurred, only a pair of eyes shimmered, Bai Ji felt that they were like orange lights, with two clusters of warm flames burning inside, warm and not burning.

Bai Ji's thoughts could not help drifting back to the days when he and Qi Xiang shared the same bed, he suddenly remembered that he also had a nightmare, but that time he was not awakened, but slept peacefully until he woke up naturally.On the contrary, during the few days when I went back to Xie's house to live, I was alone in the two-meter-high bed, and I couldn't sleep until late at night.

He also explored why, and it is undeniable that the only variable is the homogeneity term.

When Bai Ji was not sick, his sleep quality was also very poor. At night, his hands and feet would be physically cold, he would dream a lot and he would roll around.The existence of Qi Xiang just made up for these three shortcomings. Qi Xiang has a warm body, and at the same time he also has the functions of coaxing him to sleep and correcting his sleeping position.

More importantly, it is also a point that Bai Ji has always subconsciously refused to think about.

He trusts Qi Xiang, especially after Qi Xiang has helped him again and again, Bai Ji will subconsciously rely on Qi Xiang.

This made Bai Ji feel uneasy.

For example, when a person is thirsty, he needs to drink water, and when he is hungry, he needs to eat. If he relies too much on Qixiang, will Qixiang become a necessity, just like water and rice, that can calm his emotions.

But how can one be another's necessity?

Just like a person who has been walking alone in the boundless desert for too long and sees an oasis suddenly appearing in front of him, he will wonder if it is a mirage.This kind of different and strong emotion, Bai Ji is afraid that it is fake, but also afraid that it is true.This deceptive option should probably have been nipped in the bud.

But tonight was too quiet and unbearable, and in the room where the sound of breathing would be amplified, the fleeting warmth left by Qi Xiang's fingertips on Bai Ji's shoulder made Bai Ji yearn for the comfort of sleeping peacefully before.

"Will you sleep with me?"

So this sentence came out naturally, and Bai Ji was also stunned after finishing speaking.

"Okay, but you have to squeeze." Qi Xiang agreed without thinking, and lifted Bai Ji's quilt very naturally, "Go inside."

He agreed too simply, and didn't give Bai Ji any chance to withdraw the invitation after rational thinking.

"..."

Bai Ji swallowed his saliva, moved in passively, turned sideways, used his arms as a pillow, and huddled himself in the corner, and worried that the bed was too small, so he would sleep in someone's arms in the middle of the night, curled up with his back to Qi Xiang strip.

So straight that Bai Ji even estimated the length of his own coffin in the future.

As if they were going to be buried together, the two of them lay stiff for a long time, as if they were afraid of disturbing Bai Ji's sleep, and their necks took up half of the pillow, just like electric blankets, doing nothing but heating, just lying down, covered Quilts don't chat.

Bai Ji closed his eyes for a while and then opened them, staring at the black nothingness in a daze.

Bai Ji himself tends to resist falling asleep after having a nightmare and thus suffers from insomnia. He also wants to dispel the afterimages of the nightmare in his head, so he puts his hearing and thoughts behind him 100%. Stretch your legs and the two will touch each other.

He can't sleep.

When he heard the steady breathing by his side, Bai Ji was a little envious, Qi Xiang should have fallen asleep.

The soles of Bai Ji's feet were cold, he held his breath, moved the soles of his feet back inch by inch, and stuck them on Qi Xiang's calf. After they were attached tightly, Bai Ji squinted his eyes comfortably, making sure that there was no movement behind him, and then he groped out from the corner. A flattened candy paper, which he had saved while lying in bed eating candy these days.

He fiddled with stacks of papers in the dark to pass the time.

"Bai Que'er, eating sugar in the middle of the night will damage your teeth."

Qi Xiang suddenly made a sound, Bai Ji was so frightened that his hands shook, and the thousand paper cranes that had not yet been folded were severed on the spot.

Bai Ji was surprised: "You didn't sleep?" He immediately pulled his foot back.

"It's up to the owner. If you don't sleep, I, the nurse, can't sleep." Qi Xiang smiled, and took the initiative to chase Bai Ji's feet with his legs, and commented, "It's cold, what are you shrinking from? Didn't you rely on your strength just now? I Didn’t it just come here to serve as a heater for you.”

Qi Xiang also felt drowsy, his voice was not as clear as when he was awake, but slightly hoarse.

"...I bumped into it by accident." Bai Ji defended and issued an order to evict the guest, "If you feel crowded, go back."

"I think it's too big." Qi Xiang put his arm across Bai Ji, and pulled out the scattered paper from between his fingers, and then he was sure that he didn't steal food in the middle of the night, and then wrapped his arms around his waist Fish him back to the center of the bed, "Hide everything on your body, are you a hamster?"

Bai Ji clicked his tongue. After all, he was under the control of others. The faint scent of grass and trees instantly invaded his nasal cavity, which was unexpectedly gentle.

"Let's chat." Qi Xiang said, "Is it because I can't sleep, or is it because of a nightmare?"

Bai Ji was silent for a few seconds, sighed lightly, and replied truthfully, "All of them."

Because the dream does not want to sleep, because you can't sleep.

"What did you dream about?" Qi Xiang said bluntly, "You have to tie the bell to untie it. Logically, PTSD shouldn't have affected you for so many years. Bai Ji, I don't want to play tricks on you to force you to tell me everything about you. How did you get those injuries on your body, but if you can't hold on..."

If he wants to force and investigate, he can find out Bai Ji's old background. Mr. Qi is happily waiting to send him some information. Besides, he has confessed to Bai Ji about the past. According to Bai Ji's temperament, you will He has one dollar, and even if he rummages through boxes and boxes, he still has to scrape together two dollars to return it. This fool loves moral kidnapping the most.

Bai Ji tilted his head to look at him, it was pitch black, Qi Xiang didn't even open his eyes, it was like talking in a dream.

"together..."

"Actually, my family is pretty good, no worse than Xie's." Qi Xiang said seriously, and suddenly acted like a baby, "Trust me."

Bai Ji's throat was itchy, as if something moved his heart palpitations.

He was about to say something when Qi Xiang suddenly covered Bai Ji's eyes and said with a smile, "Don't stare at me, I'm shy."

"..." The complete darkness is like a new protective shell, Qi Xiang's hands are warm and dry, and it feels comfortable to touch Bai Ji's eyes lightly, "Do you really want to know?"

"You want to tell me, don't you?" Qi Xiang murmured, "Otherwise, why would I be lying here?"

Qi Xiang is really like a fox, he is good at observing people's hearts, and he is a full-fledged opportunist. He is full of deceptive words, and he turns black into white.

Bai Ji's whim made a decision where he had to confess. He silently scolded him in his heart that it was a pity not to engage in pyramid schemes, but in the end his defenses loosened. For some companionship and peace of mind.

Bai Ji lacked to talk.

He has a knot in his heart, everyone knows it, but no one dares to touch it.

"I almost killed someone. His name is Bai Wuhui." Bai Ji closed his eyes and regretted, "But I failed twice, and I couldn't kill him in my dream."

Even get killed often.

If death in dreams counts, Bai Ji doesn't know how many times he has died.

He desires to kill more than any heinous gangster, more than any patient struggling to survive.

Qi Xiang waited silently for him to continue. After tightening his arms, Bai Ji was turned over again. The two faced each other. Bai Ji's head was pressed against Qi Xiang's chest, and he arched his back.

"Qi Xiang, it hurts."

Bai Wuhui and Zhou Yawen are childhood sweethearts.

Just like a popular love story, the talented and intelligent poor boy and the talented young lady knew each other and fell in love with each other. After graduating from university, they got married naturally, without hindrance, and were blessed by the whole world.

After marriage, Bai Wuhui took advantage of Zhou's family to open a company, and his career flourished. Zhou Yawen also devoted herself to the family after she became pregnant and became a full-time housewife.

When Bai Ji was eight years old, during the financial crisis, the Zhou family’s property had a big mistake that nearly broke the capital flow. At this time, Bai Wuhui stepped forward to fill in the hole, which can be regarded as a stepping stone to enter the Zhou family.

Zhou's father has only one daughter, Zhou Yawen, and he intends to cultivate his son-in-law, but Zhou Zhou's uncle is eyeing the Zhou family's property, and targets Bai Wuhui everywhere.The internal contradictions within the group were sharp, and they were faintly divided into two factions. Because they were focused on factional struggles, the Zhou family had never recovered from the financial crisis, and they were showing signs of decline.

In three years, the Zhou family underwent several major changes, and finally ended in bankruptcy. In addition, Zhou's father suddenly died of a heart attack.

The family suddenly fell into the clouds and moved to a house in the south of the city. Bai Wuhui failed to make a comeback. He found a job in a daze and drank all his sorrows. At that time, there were many small casino workshops in the south of the city, and he also went to play. He blamed Zhou Yawen for his fault.

If he didn't fill in the Zhou family's hole, but took care of himself alone, then even if the Zhou family collapsed, he wouldn't be able to hit himself.The Zhou family...Zhou Yawen...

From complaining about his wife's pampering, to contempt and disgust, and finally beating and scolding at every turn.The Bai Ji family has changed from a model family envied by everyone to a hell full of violence and cursing.

Zhou Yawen is weak-tempered, and she really felt guilty when she was told that it was her fault. In addition, she didn't work, and all the financial support came from her husband.

Domestic violence, there are only 0 times and countless times.

No matter how deep the relationship is, it can't withstand the destruction, not to mention that this kind of relationship has long been wiped out by the world of money.

Bai Ji grew up under such a gap. He tried countless ways to restore his home to its original state, but all failed.No matter how obedient he is or how well he does in the exam, Bai Wuhui's eyes will never stay on him longer than on the wine.

When he couldn't go back, Bai Ji changed his mind, and he wanted to protect his mother.When Bai Wuhui was about to hit someone, he rushed over to hug Zhou Yawen, and punched Bai Ji on the back with his fist. The pain made his eyes shine. Only then did Bai Ji realize...so his mother hurts so much every day?

Zhou Yawen was terrified, begging for mercy while pushing Bai Ji into the room, and locked the door to prevent Bai Ji from coming out.

"Don't come out, don't come out, mom is fine."

The curtains in the room are wine red, and the light through the curtains makes the whole room soaked in blood. Bai Ji's pupils are full of blood, and his ears are full of beating and scolding. His protection of his mother aggravates his father's anger. The beatings and scolding were extremely fierce.

He seemed to have inherited Zhou Yawen's weakness. Every time he hugged himself tightly and curled up behind the door panel, his voice became hoarse from crying, but he never went out again.He also became more and more silent, more and more indifferent, from a much-loved squeamish to a violent hedgehog.

This depression will eventually explode.

During the Spring Festival when he was 14 years old, Bai Ji kicked open the door of his room.

He opened Bai Wuhui's head, and Bai Wuhui stabbed him in the back.

The knife was too painful for a 14-year-old child to bear. He fell to his knees, and Bai Wuhui kicked him down again. He picked up a wine bottle and smashed it on his back, leaving a long bloodstain along the spine. , Bai Ji fell into a pool of blood, dense glass shards stuck on his arms.

pain.

Dying pain.

After all, a 14-year-old's physical strength is not as good as that of an adult.

"The seed you raised! I will feed and drink for you, and he will beat his father instead!" Bai Wuhui covered his head, kicked Zhou Yawen who was hugging Bai Ji, and cursed a few unpleasant words, "He deserves it if he dies! "

"120, please, call 120!" Zhou Yawen went crazy, begging for mercy, her mobile phone had been confiscated long ago, who wants to save her son but asks to create all the demons, "I beg you, he is your son , he is also your son..."

"Mom..." Bai Ji struggled to open his eyes, but he couldn't see clearly anymore, "It's okay, I..."

Even if I die, I have to take one with me.

His fingertips were cold, and he accidentally kicked the knife thrown by Bai Wuhui into Bai Ji's hand. His internal organs were so painful that they were almost dislocated, but he burst out with the last of his strength, grasped the handle of the knife little by little, and then jumped up while Bai Wuhui was not paying attention. Pounce on him.

The knife pierced Bai Wuhui's chest.

Bai Ji collapsed on Bai Wuhui.

The people outside the house counted down loudly amidst the sound of fireworks.

"five--"

"Happy Death Day." Bai Ji was as angry as a spring.

"Four--"

"You deserve it when you die." Bai Ji suddenly showed a sad smile, "No one will visit your grave."

"three--"

It hurts!

It was like being pressed under a mountain peak, out of breath, like being roasted by fire, and there was a scorching pain all over his body, so painful that he couldn't breathe for a while, and it was difficult to even open his mouth, like going deep into the bottom of the sea, no sound could be heard. It faded away like a tide.

Bai Ji heard his own voice, I can't wait for the New Year.

Mom, happy new year, and, sorry.

If he had made such a decision earlier, at least Zhou Yawen would have suffered less, and she would not be so afraid at this point.

"Bai Ji! Bai Ji!" Zhou Yawen's tears fell hot on Bai Ji's cheeks, "Don't close your eyes, please, son!"

It was Liu Yu who came to save them. The police and the ambulance arrived together. Bai Ji underwent a major operation and lay in the ICU for a week without waking up. The doctor said that his desire to survive was extremely low.

"Maybe he will become a vegetable." Liu Yu relayed the doctor's words, "Xiaoji, he is obviously conscious, but why doesn't he wake up?"

But Zhou Yawen cried him awake again.

"Protect mom again, wake up, Bai Ji, baby, can you hear me, mom only has you, wake up."

Protect mom.

Like a curse, Bai Ji opened his eyes.

Fortunately he woke up.

After he woke up, the police came to see him and asked some questions. Only then did he know that Bai Wuhui was not dead and had woken up earlier than him.

Liu Yu and Zhou Yawen insisted that Bai Wuhui was the first to act. He had a domestic violence record, and Liu Yu also reported to the police that time.It's just that Zhou Yawen forgave her husband last time. This time, Zhou Yawen's attitude was extremely tough and she wanted to file a lawsuit. Moreover, this domestic violence incident became the first news of the New Year, and it even appeared in the newspaper. The crime of intentional injury was sentenced to more than ten years.

However, Bai Ji is not criminally responsible because he is under 14 years old. The lawyer said that this situation can establish self-defense, and it is estimated that he will not be sent to detention and reformation.

When Bai Ji was active, Bai Wuhui applied to see Bai Ji again before leaving the hospital.

To be honest, Bai Wuhui's appearance is very deceptive. He looks very elegant and non-aggressive. He lay sick and confessed his actions every day. He was a talented eloquent, and the nurse who spoke a few words made him want to cry.

He said he was sorry for his son, sorry for his wife, and wanted to see his son again.

Bai Ji also happened to want to see him.

He was wheeled into Bai Wuhui's ward. When father and son met, the temperature dropped two degrees.

When the nurse and the police were there, Bai Wuhui's eyes were clouded with tears, and he said disgusting words one after another.

"Xiaoji, can you forgive me?"

"I'll burn paper for you when you die."

Both of them were patients, the potion was hanging high, and no one was more imposing than the other. One was lying down and the other was sitting. The police thought that nothing would happen, so they left the ward with the nurse.

The moment the door closed, Bai Wuhui suddenly took off his disguise, his expression remained unchanged, the love and remorse in his eyes turned into inextricable malice, the two looked at each other, and Bai Ji's heart beat faster, as if a single look had knocked him out. Bring back that bloody New Year's Eve.

"Come here." Bai Wuhui said.

Bai Ji couldn't control himself, he turned the wheelchair and approached, his eyes seemed to eat people.

"Bastard," he cursed.

"I'm a beast, what are you?" Bai Wuhui said lightly, "Bai Ji, you're so cruel, you're really my son, do you know what I've been thinking when I've been lying down these days?"

Bai Ji looked at him coldly.

"As long as I live, I will never let you go." Bai Wuhui smiled, "First you, then Zhou Yawen, Bai Ji, our family must be together forever in life and death."

"You have the blood of our Bai family in your body, Bai Ji, if I hit your mother, you will kill me, so what will you look like in the future?"

"You'll be the next me."

The malicious curse made Bai Ji lose his mind in an instant, and he strangled Bai Wuhui's neck fiercely regardless of the pain.

"Go to hell! Go to die!"

The police rushed in when they heard the noise, and the two were pulled away. Bai Ji struggled and bitten in the arms of the policeman, and rushed to die with Bai Wuhui like crazy. The ward fainted directly, and almost entered the operating room again, the wounds behind him were all open.

Because of this incident, Zhou Yawen was afraid that something would happen to her son, and Bai Wuhui would make a fuss about Bai Ji's wounding, so she quickly let go. Bai Wuhui was finally sentenced to six years in prison.

This ending is unacceptable.

Bai Wuhui's cold smile in the ward became the source of Bai Ji's nightmare.He recovered from his injury, but suffered from PTSD.It seems to repeat the experience of the New Year again and again. The healed wound hurts all day and all night. After a month of thinning, the spirit is in a trance, afraid of sharp things, afraid of the dark and more disgusted with red.

His pupils fluttered all day long, he was afraid to fall asleep, and he committed self-mutilation and hurting others.

In the second year of middle school, Bai Ji took a leave of absence from school to recuperate from his injuries. In the same year, Xie Shiping learned about what had happened to his childhood sweetheart through the newspaper, and flew back to Danshi from the capital.

Qi Xiang's chest was slightly cold and wet.

After Bai Ji finished speaking, he cried, as if he had unloaded some burden, returned to the past and became that 14-year-old boy, at a loss and suddenly, hiding behind the door panel, unable to do anything but cry.He didn't talk about the letter, but Qi Xiang could also guess it.

"It's okay, it's okay." Qi Xiang put his chin against the top of Bai Ji's head, brushed the sun and moon on his arm with his palm, climbed down the sunflower's meridian, and pressed it on the uneven and protruding scar on Bai Ji's back, "Rub Knead."

"Hiss!" Bai Ji wanted to dodge, but he didn't dodge, his whole body trembling, "You fucking!"

Crying more fiercely, Qi Xiang suspected that he wanted to push himself over by brute force.

Bai Ji's crying is different from other people's crying. You can't hear his other movements except tears, not even sobbing, but the teardrops are like the pattering rain, viciously smashing on the person's chest and splashing all over the ground. Splashes and voices were bubbling ferociously.

As soon as the tears came out, Bai Ji held his breath, and it took a long time for Qi Xiang to hear what he was muttering.

"Cry ass." She scolded herself while crying.

Bai Ji felt hot from his neck to his forehead, but the tears opened a gate, and he couldn't stop it if he wanted to. Instead of raising his head and crying face to face, it's better to bury his head in his arms so that no one can see him.

"Does it hurt?" Qi Xiang asked the scar that should have been insensitive long ago.

"..." How should I say this, Bai Ji stopped his tears and gritted his teeth, "It doesn't hurt!"

Qi Xiang's laughter rang above his head, buzzing against his eardrums.

"I shivered when I touched it last time." Qi Xiang's voice was soft, as if he was telling a story, "But this time, I almost broke my skin, and you didn't feel any pain. So, it slowly affects your body. The effect will get less and less, you will get rid of it, from fear to ignorance, you will overcome it."

Bai Ji: "Stop rubbing."

"Change the position, this is Qi's desensitization." Qi Xiang changed the route and pressed along the spine, and asked persuasively, "Have you seen a doctor before?"

After Bai Ji cursed vaguely, he directly gave Qi Xiang a hammer and nodded, and Qi Xiang coughed and laughed.

"How did the doctor treat it?" Qi Xiang asked, "Just take medicine?"

"I'm just taking medicine now." After crying, Bai Ji's voice sounded like a ball of glutinous rice balls stuffed with red bean paste. It didn't work out."

Bai Ji resisted psychotherapy.

Because he was afraid that his psychological defense would be broken and the matter of Bai Wuhui's letter to him would be leaked. It was difficult to change his psychological cognition, and he did not cooperate with the treatment. He could not even open his mouth for basic conversations.The doctor also tried to treat him with EMDR, but Bai Ji himself felt aggressive and defensive. This kind of treatment was dangerous to him and the doctor, and it didn't stop after trying it.

The Xie family has invited many doctors, but to no avail.

Bai Ji choked up a little, "I'm easily stimulated, if I get sick, it's impossible for me to sit for an hour or two and finish writing a test paper."

"Huh?" Qi Xiang looked down at him, "How do you say this?"

"You know what the thrill I'm talking about is?"

"what?"

"At the beginning of the school exam, Jiang Rui smelled of alcohol, and then he shook his legs during the exam, so I focused all my attention on him." Bai Ji said, "It's just a small thing that can break me down. Qi Xiang, what if I get sick again in the midterm exam?"

"I may not be able to... I will not be able to make great progress in the mid-term as you promised Cang Hao, and I may even hand in a blank paper."

He pursed his lips and swallowed the next words.

So are you going to be disappointed?

"If you fail the exam, you will fail the exam." Qi Xiang chuckled, "I didn't ask you to sign a military order. If you fail the exam, you can still have your head cut off? If you fail the college entrance examination, you can repeat it. With me, you have countless opportunities to repeat it. Come."

When he said that, Bai Ji thought that he could really hear his own thoughts.

The corner of Bai Ji's mouth twitched, and after humming for a long time, he let out an "um".

"Teach you a way to relieve stress." Qi Xiang grabbed his wrist and gently pressed the throbbing pulse, "press here if you are nervous, and then take a deep breath."

"Do it with me." Qi Xiang said.

"What an idiot." Bai Ji pouted and followed suit, "It's useless at all."

"Do more sets." Qi Xiang said, "My mother taught me."

Both of them inhaled and exhaled slowly.

"Close your eyes." Qi Xiang said slowly, "I just want to be happy."

There was nothing to be happy about, Bai Ji's mind was blank at first, and then he gradually remembered the chocolate that Qi Xiang put on the table for him in the morning, Bai Qiao was indeed more delicious than Hei Qiao, full of milky fragrance.

"How many chocolates do you have left in the morning?"

"Sufficiency."

Bai Ji cut a sound, unconsciously raised the corners of his mouth.

After a long while, Qi Xiang gently lifted up Bai Ji's broken hair that was covered with tears on the side of his face. The person in his arms had already fallen asleep and was still snoring lightly. Perhaps his nose was blocked, and he obviously cried "big" again when recalling the past. It took all his strength.

Qi Xiang wanted to let him go, but just as he was about to pull his hand away, Bai Ji snorted, just like in the south of the city.

Helpless can only keep hugging.

At this time, he felt that the two big men were hugging each other, which was really unsightly and very nice.

"Hiss." Qi Xiang raised his head and murmured to himself, "Why do we hug each other?"

The author has something to say: Bai Ji: I have burdens, and I can't cry.

Qi Xiang: I am a straight man.

Fat! !Thank you for your support!