I really just want to retire

After the silent show ended, the show continued on the screen. Brave Mao Mao worked very hard. The expressions of the two men on the chair were very consistent, and the black lines on their heads almost covered their eyes.

Fu Zizhan nuzui wanted to say something, but before he could speak, Jiang Kang next to him made a move first, he stretched out his hand and pulled the black and yellow raccoon cat, "Good boy, we are not..." Before he finished speaking, his hand just touched Maomao, the other party let out a loud cry, and the dilated pupils seemed to be saying, "Bold cow dung! How dare you touch me! Take your dirty hands away!!"

The cat’s funny expression made the photographer’s hands tremble with laughter, and the netizens were even more dissatisfied with their own laughter, which only deafened the neighbors within a radius of ten miles. They tried to expand the scope to the extent that people within a radius of fifty miles would have to rely on hearing aids to live…

[Hahahahahahahahaha, my fucking laughs to death]

【Hahaha what kind of bad intentions can cats have, but they just don’t want to see shit】

[Haha, I fucking laughed so hard that I shit all over the bed! 】

[Remember to close the window after finishing the previous one, be careful that the cat brother is looking for you late at night! 】

[Haha, how stinky is it! 】

[It may be that cats have a sensitive sense of smell, and they spend a lot of time on the tractor]

【…】

Bold bullshit.Comrade Jiang Kang was a little injured, probably because he didn't expect that there are eight hundred people in his cats and dogs, and he would encounter Waterloo in life. He got up and said in a deliberately low tone, "They seem to have come out, and I'm going too Grab a seat, are you going?"

People who don't wash in vain have no cats to hug!

Fu Zizhan glanced inside, "You go, I'll wait for you to come out before going."

Originally, there were only a few seats, so why not go in and stand there to pollute the air?

Jiang Kang's tone suddenly changed from low to very deliberately upward, "I don't mind being together~"

He can't help his fate!

Fu Zizhan: "..."

"Thank you, but I don't mind," without any ups and downs in tone.

He's just a retiree, and the oil is too much, which is somewhat inappropriate.

Jiang Kang from the Mutant Oilfield failed to go in the end, because Director Qu's assistant Jin Xiao came, and Jin Xiao was holding a task card.

When Fu Zizhan stepped forward to take it, a pungent smell hit his face.

"..."

He seems to understand the overreaction of the cihuamao. When he is surrounded by this smell, he has actually adapted to it, but when the stronger smell comes with the wind, he is a little irritated.

Even the raccoon cat on the side stopped the movement of its paws, turned its head to look at Jin Xiao, his eyes widened, and was very shocked. The general idea conveyed in it was probably, "Why is there still a cow dung spirit! I am too difficult !"

Jin Xiao ignored the raccoon cat, and stood up to explain some precautions. While listening, Fu Zizhan opened the so-called task card that wrote the program rules. He didn't read the content, and he was the first to have doubts, "Why did you write it by hand?"

Jiang Kang heard the words and came over, "That's right, why is it handwritten this time? It wasn't the same last time. This word looks like Qu Dao's. Could it be that Qu Dao temporarily set up abnormal rules to punish us?"

During the conversation, the two had already read the rules of the program, and the next second, the eyes of the four met were speechless.

To sum it up, there are actually two points. First, the travel fund is 10 yuan per person per day; second, find a car by yourself.

"..."

"Good guy, this is treating us like beggars. Didn't you pay each person [-] last time?" Jiang Kang's eyes widened and he couldn't believe what he saw.

Fu Zizhan paused for two seconds before speaking, "A beggar should earn much more than this in a day."

Jin Xiao stood aside and didn't make a sound. He was just an ordinary microphone. Although this was indeed a temporary change of the rules by a perverted director, did he seem to dare to say these words?

I haven't found a resume template yet, and I have to continue working, talking bad things about my boss behind my back...

It's fine to do it quietly, it's inappropriate in public, really inappropriate!

After Jin Xiao delivered the task and nothing happened to him, he turned around and was about to leave. He should have finished washing all the things that should be washed at this moment, so he has to go back to take a shower quickly. Don’t think he didn’t see it. The camera brother backed away when he came After taking several steps and working with colleagues for so many years, he is so fragile that a piece of cow dung can knock him down.

As soon as he turned around with his front feet, he felt that something was pulling his trouser legs with his back feet. He looked down at a black and yellow tabby cat with serious eyes. The camera brother was very good at capturing the jokes in the show, so he came directly to Maomao A close-up, which was subtitled thoughtfully in the later stage, "The new bullshit! Let me see where you escape!!"

The raccoon cat caught the new cow dung... No, it was Jin Xiao, and started digging the soil again on the spot. The brave cat was really exhausted tonight.

Jin Xiao: "..."

Don't be like this, okay?I still have your cat food!

For most of the shows, the staff generally don't show up.

In general situations, such as at this moment, they can also become jokes and appear in the camera.

The audience friends who kept laughing said that their stomachs couldn’t take it anymore. When the people in the yard dispersed, the cats and cats who had no poop to bury returned to the shelf. Too high and strong, they are just a weak and helpless cat with no evil intentions.

The weak and helpless cat still feels comfortable to sleep after being tired.

Audience friends who have a stomachache from laughing can finally give their suffering stomachs a rest. The show shows the daily routine of some guests packing their luggage.

The stomach does not need to suffer, the brain starts to be flexible, the night is the moment when the inspiration bursts, and a generation of emoji masters are born again, and they are professional in screen recording.

【Maomao patted your heel and said this shit smells so bad.gif】

[Bold evildoer!Eat me a planer.gif]

The scene of the eight people on the tractor in the opening chapter was also missed...

【Life is not easy, online autism.jgp】

And the cow dung that is upside down and upside down...

【This is the feeling of freedom.gif】

While the popularity of the program was quietly rising, on the screen, the program had already been played to the end... the eight people had all packed up and were sitting in the living room discussing the handwritten rule card.

In fact, there is nothing to discuss about the rules. Three-year-old children can understand the content. The most important task is of course... scolding the director.

But everyone is a civilized person, and they speak very vaguely, such as...

"I feel Qu Dao shouldn't be able to sleep well tonight"

Because someone would scold him in his dream!

"10 yuan is actually a lot of money. The pocket money my mother gave me when I was a child is so much a day."

The implication is... Can Director Qu be an individual? !Now elementary school students have more pocket money than this! !

After one or two masters of Yin-Yang greeted Qu Dao in all directions, they went to bed, after a whole day of tossing around, everything will be discussed after waking up.

During the night of recording, it was only a few seconds in the camera, and it was morning as soon as the picture turned.

There are not many shots in the morning, if they are not that interesting, they will naturally be cut out. It is impossible to spend more than ten minutes watching artists brush their teeth and wash their faces after a two-hour program. Tooth, maybe there are still viewers who are willing to see how to brush that thing.

In the camera, everyone is discussing today's process while eating breakfast. The breakfast is naturally a sponsor's product. Otherwise, if you spend 10 yuan a day and get one-third of the breakfast, then the director may have to go to heaven in place---in the dead of night. He was scolded that gravity could not keep him.

There are two scenic spots that everyone will check in on that day, namely Zhengshengou and Yu'anfeng, which are not too far away, suitable for them... who don't have a car for the time being.

Although it wasn't very far, it wasn't a distance that could be walked by foot. After a casual discussion, the group decided to go out first to see if they could borrow a car.

In fact, there are not many small cars in the country, and not every household has them. Whether they can afford them or not is one thing, but the main reason is that they are not practical. It really made them borrow two three-wheeled motorcycles.

The eight people divided into two groups and rode tricycles on the country roads. Those who knew thought they were going on a trip, but those who didn't know thought they were going to work in the fields.

The tricycle is actually quite convenient, except that it is a bit cold and has no other disadvantages.

In the later stage, a classic country song was thoughtfully added as the background music. When the audience laughed and called out the wonderful style of painting, everyone had already arrived at the scenic spot.

Typical recording time is one hour, with 5 minutes of editing.

Zhengshengou is a famous scenic spot in Pingci City, but it is only for locals, because the place is remote and the roads are not easy to walk, even if it is beautiful, few people come.

It is rumored that this place used to be the residence of a god. After the god fell, he left behind a sea of ​​flowers and streams to protect the people.

On the screen, the camera has moved from the guests to the sea of ​​flowers in front of them. Compared with other seasons, the flowers blooming in winter always seem a little more desolate and shocking.

At that moment, I felt that the previous toss and bumps were nothing, and the paradise-like scenery always made people feel calm and comfortable.

Through the camera, the audience was about to be overwhelmed by the beauty, and the hands of one or two screenshots never stopped.

Qu Dao, who is not a human being every day, finally played a little bit of his role. Every frame and every picture in the camera is the best publicity.

The survival show finally got back on track, but...it only came back for a while, and after the eight of them finished visiting Zhengshengou, they had to face a serious problem...

They are hungry.

And they only have 10 yuan each, and they have to leave a budget for dinner.

Sure enough, what kind of travel program, in the final analysis, is just for survival.

The next scenic spot to check in, Yu'anfeng, is just a market away from their current location.

The shots on the way to the market are all cut out, and the next shot the audience sees is that they have arrived at the market.

On the roadside of the market, a group of normally glamorous celebrities were worrying about their lunch, and they looked pitiful, as if they were going to pick up chalk in the next second and write and draw on the ground to ask for a meal.

Someone suggested, "I think we can go a few more, and there must be a cheaper hotel"

“No matter how cheap it is, I may not be able to eat enough.”

More than half of the eight people are tall men.

The scene where you talk to me is multiplied in the later stage, and what the audience sees is one or two gibberish.

The multiple suddenly became normal, and Jiang Kang said, "Isn't it cheaper to do it yourself?"

Another regular MC answered, "Go back and come out now, there is too little time." They are going to Yu'anfeng to watch the sunset, not the stars and the moon.

Jiang Kang showed that we didn't have a tacit understanding, "Who said we're going back, we'll do our own grocery shopping, find a store with few customers, and ask if we can visit the kitchen", and it's past meal time.

"Can it work? It doesn't feel very reliable," someone hesitated.

Jiang Kang is like a big devil lobbying people to commit crimes, "Try it, if it doesn't work, we won't lose anything, we can take the food home and cook it at night"

"Besides, we still have a chef, do you just want to eat cold and tasteless pancakes?" He glanced at Fu Zizhan while talking.

Fu Zizhan: "..."

Don't look at me, I don't have a tacit understanding with you.

Jiang Kang's words successfully drew everyone's attention to Fu Zizhan, and the man in a casual coat stood there calmly and calmly.

He has always been low-key, and rarely takes the initiative to answer the phone, as if he only wants to make himself comfortable in everything.

There are many, many people in the entertainment circle. Although everyone is a celebrity, not everyone in the circle knows everyone and has watched everyone's shows.

But vaguely, there will always be something heard about it, and someone will start to feel excited right away, after all, no one wants to go out to play and be hungry.

In the end, Jiang Kang's opinion was adopted, and the group rushed to the vegetable market, and stopped at the entrance of a restaurant after buying vegetables.

Doing this kind of thing for the first time is somewhat apprehensive.

After completing the mental construction, the boss greeted me enthusiastically as soon as I entered the store. It was an aunt who looked five or sixty years old. The aunt was very enthusiastic. She put down her mobile phone and smiled as if she saw her grandson, "Dinner, everyone? Want to eat?" What to eat? The menu is on the wall”

As soon as she finished speaking, the surroundings were quiet for a second, because Jiang Kang, who was in charge of communication, probably also felt that this request was a bit difficult to say, and needed to reorganize the language.

At this moment of silence, other voices are particularly obvious at this time. Familiar music comes from the table behind the boss, and two sentences with different timbres between men and women...

"Hurry up! I'm waiting until all the flowers wither!"

"Hurry up! Hurry up!"

"..."

The atmosphere of the scene was suddenly a little delicate. The aunt smiled awkwardly, turned her head and turned off the phone.

Jiang Kang's tone was sincere, "Boss, do you want to finish typing? We are not in a hurry." The main reason is to give him a little more time to organize his words.

The aunt smiled and waved her hands, full of momentum, and looked very bold, "How about that, it's important for you to eat!"

Jiang Kang's voice was a little soft, "We don't eat."

The aunt was stunned for a moment, and tentatively asked, "Then...do you want to drink water?"

Having said all this, Jiang Kang simply continued, "Boss, we don't drink water. Can I use your kitchen?"

"Ah??", the big question marks in Auntie's eyes almost overflowed, as if to say that she has never heard such an outrageous request in all these decades, is she really too young?She shouldn't have retired at such a young age!

The audience in front of the screen immediately began to cover their faces.

【Oh my God!I made another mistake of embarrassing for others]

[Don't talk about it before, I have already picked out a sea view room with my toes]

[Hahahahaha Auntie's expression is really funny, her face is full of explanations, you are talking about magic horse stuff]

[Hahaha hot search title booking, the world is full of fireworks and people actually do this kind of thing in a hotel]

[In front, open the door, the editor position you applied for has been approved, please join the job immediately! 】

The embarrassing progress bar is moving backward bit by bit. Auntie is still a person who has experienced five or sixty years. After being confused, she calmed down a lot, but she confirmed it again, "Use the kitchen?"

Jiang Kang may have been too embarrassed, and now he is more at ease, "Well, we bought the vegetables ourselves, and we can provide processing fees appropriately, but...we may not be able to give much", the last sentence was inexplicably guilty and ashamed .

After he finished speaking, the auntie suddenly became bolder, "Forget about the processing fee, you can use it as you like, just clean it up."

Hearing this, the one and two who were acting obedient just now seemed to have honey on their mouths, and you coaxed Auntie into elation with each other.

After talking and laughing, someone felt self-conscious about starting to fight. When Fu Zizhan passed by the boss, he suddenly heard a low-pitched murmur.

"I thought my cooking was unpalatable, and the TV station knew about it."

Fu Zizhan: "..."

It turned out that there were no customers in the store for a reason.

The whispered mumbling was also cut in later, and the bullet screen burst into laughter...

[Hahaha Auntie is so cute! ! ! 】

【Now the TV station really knows】

[Haha, audiences all over the country know it]

[One thing to say, I feel that the boss opened the store just for fun, it is probably not short of money, he will be bored after retirement]

【I felt the same way before】

With Fu Zizhan's movement, the whole picture of the kitchen also appeared in front of the audience. It wasn't very big, but it was very clean and tidy. Everywhere gave people a feeling that...there was very little fire here.

It can only be said that the aunt is indeed an honest person.

The next scene turned into Fu Zizhan cooking alone, seven people watching, no... it should be eight people, the boss aunt also joined the watching team at some point, maybe... Doudizhu lost too much Too much, it's boring.

It was actually a bit crowded with so many people gathered together, and they spread out after a while, but the boss kept standing at the door and did not leave. Everyone thought that she was worried about handing over her kitchen to outsiders, and felt that she had given up a little space. To her, she was just a stranger, and it was normal for people to be worried, but no one noticed that Auntie's eyes were getting hotter and hotter.

After a while, the underdog next to Fu Zizhan changed.

The aunt's tone sounded very casual, "Boys, you can earn a lot of money as a star, right?"

Fu Zizhan paused for two seconds before answering, "Not much", anyway, not enough for him to retire on the spot.

Auntie's eyes lit up again, "Isn't it quite hard work?"

Look at these two poor people who can't afford to eat.

Before it was Fu Zizhan's turn to speak, Jiang Kang vomited bitterly. Of course, the central idea was to criticize a certain director. Auntie shook her head and expressed sympathy.

Then he turned his head to Fu Zizhan and said, "Young man, do you want to consider changing jobs? What do you think of my shop? My son bought it for me, saying that he was afraid that I would be bored after retirement, and let me mess around. If you come to work here, it is absolutely stable! The salary is also high.”

Fu Zizhan: "???"

How did the topic turn into this?

Is he... can develop a part-time job?

However, this option is not included in his retirement options, so he can only feel sorry for the boss's olive branch.

The aunt who failed to poach people was a little regretful, as if she had missed a high-end technical talent.

When the steaming hot dishes came out of the pan one after another, the whole kitchen was already filled with aroma, and the heads stretched out one after another, as if they wanted to press their mouths into the plate, the regretful expression of the aunt was swept away, and she looked at Fu Zizhan, who was busy next to him, was full of satisfaction.

The next second, the auntie suddenly said without beginning or end, "Actually, I have a daughter who may be patient. She has loved studying since she was a child. After studying abroad, she started her own business. Now she has started her own company. She was working in a big city for a while ago. I bought a house, what do you think she spends that money on, people don’t like to go to big cities when they are old..."

Fu Zizhan listened quietly, without interrupting, the aunt chattered a lot, and finally said, seemingly unintentionally, "That girl is good at everything, but she doesn't care about her own affairs. Pity me at such an age. Worrying every day if she gets busy and won't even be able to eat a warm meal..."

Jiang Kang, who was listening to the whole process, looked at Fu Zizhan and smiled.

Fu Zizhan: "..."

He didn't really want to understand.